Picking up toys...

How do you get them to do it? Yesterday I told them no TV until they picked up a puzzle, it did nothing. I'm not kidding, the puzzle was on the floor for 24 hours before DD finally picked it up (I had to put away their loveys).

Now it's the same thing... they just don't care. Nothing I say works. The loveys are put away, they cried for 5 minutes and now they don't care. They just play with something else. I'm SICK of living in this mess. And I can't even take them to the gym babysitting because they ask to put things away and mine will not do it - resulting in tantrums and ruining my workout.

I'm at a loss. Short of putting everything in trash bags and giving it away, any idea?

I probably have issues but I can't help getting really mad at them for this too... dh is no help and never cleans up either, so it's always up to me to do it (and frankly I don't bother anymore).

 

A few things that help (that you may already be doing)...

1. First make sure everything has a place. The more organized the toys are, the easier it is to have them know where it goes at clean up time.
2. Make the task specific: "You pick up the red pieces and I will pick up the blue pieces." Or, "Pick up 10 pieces. Let's count..."
3. Work together.
4. Turn it into a game. "Let's see who can put the puzzle away fastest."
5. Use a timer (sand timers are great for children with limited number sense): "Let's see if we can put away all the cars in one minute. Ready, set, go."
6. Reward: "You can have one jelly belly if you clean up the puzzle in one minute. Ready, set, go."
7. Have set times that you clean up each day (we would do before lunch, before dinner, and before bath).
8. Get them excited about the next activity. Have them verbalize what they will be doing/where they will be going, how much fun it will be. Then bam, "Okay, let's get this puzzle cleaned up so we can xyz."
9. Catch them putting something away, even if it is something small, and praise, praise, praise.

Those were the tricks that worked for me. Just be consistent. Trust me, they will eventually get it, even though it feels like they are being defiant at the moment!

 

♫ Clean up, Clean up
Everybody every where
Clean up, Clean up
Everybody do your share. ♪

Showing them how (teaching) is a must. (my downfall)

Yes, make it into a game! Good luck!

 

I think organizing their toys into bins helped to make clean up much easier for the girls. I bought a big cube storage style piece of furniture that fits into their closet with big fabric bins, organized their toys in the bins, then put plastic storage units with tops under their beds for toys, and that helped them to understand exactly where everything went. Before I did that, we had big issues with clean up because nothing had a place, just a big toybox and closet and it was a mess. I also have been trying to make it a habit that we clean up their room right before bedtime every night. I usually still have to help them, but they do a really good job cleaning it up. I also have a sticker chart for them and they get a sticker for cleaning it up, and when that chart is filled we make a trip to ToysRUs which is a big treat because they don't get new toys during the year unless they fill their chart.

 

I need to work on it too... but one other thing that I know will help us is to just play with one thing and then put it away before they get something else out. it will take time to "retrain" them and maybe yourself... but will be worth it.

ditto to what the others said, praise, specific tasks, having a spot for everything etc. you may want to weed through the toys too, take it as an opportunity to see if you really need some of the things, or as much etc.

for us the crayons were out of control, then I realized I had a large box full of yucky crayons that my sil's mother gave us b/c her grandchildren had outgrown them several years before.... I finally realized that most of the crayons were junky and weren't even "washable" so I tossed them, and now have a small box each... still a bit of a mess, but not a 100 piece mess!

 

This is the trick with my kids. They love "doing their share". I think so much of it is what is modeled though so maybe see if you can get DH in on some family clean up time? Preschoolers thrive on feeling like they've accomplished something so if you can keep it positive and consistent, they will surely get it! To give you hope, my 37 month old son just picked up his room for the first time the other day without being asked. One of those moments when you know all your hard work is going to pay off in the end

 

Here's another trick I use sometimes when I just can't take it anymore. I say, "Mom's got to vacuum, so everything needs to be off the floor so it doesn't get sucked up by the vacuum!" I don't know, does that sound mean? They love to help me vacuum, though. I give them the attachment and have them go around the edges of the room and they love watching the tiny bits of paper and crumbs disappear. So it's more of a reward than a threat.

 

:good: I think this is all great advice. The ones in bold are what really work for me.
Assigning specific tasks made (makes) a huge difference, as does joining in. I think it can be quite overwhelming for young children to be faced with a whole room of mess, plus they get distracted so easily. I used to make it easier for them by putting the box things belonged in right next to the mess. The twins were 5 or 6 before I could just ask them to tidy up with no further instruction and expect them to do a good job. Even now, especially if there's a big mess, I will list the tasks that need to be done (eg "there's crayons on the table that need to go away, the animals need to go back in their box, and either brake up your lego or move it to the side") to help them focus, and they will often pick an area each or work on one thing together and then move on to the next.
The other bonus of giving them each a task when they were younger was that if one had a tantrum about not wanting to tidy up, or was going deliberately slowly, their sibling didn't have to do all the work. Once they had completed their share they were done and the mess would be waiting for the other twin when they calmed down/got out of time out.
Because we always tidied up at certain times they knew to expect it and I made sure it came before fun things. We always tidied up just before story and TV time in the afternoon so that was like a reward for getting tidied up.

It might be worth taking some of the toys away if they truly don't care, or at least instigate a rule that once you have said it's tidy-up time they are not allowed to get out any more toys.

The other thing that I think is most important is to be consistent. Pick one or two tidy-up times and stick to them, every day. Even when they're being difficult and you think 'I could do this myself in 2 minutes' stick to your guns and make them do it, and then praise them afterwards. Eventually they will realise that you're not backing down and then they'll be more co-operative, and sometime after that it will become normal to them and they'll just accept it as part of their day.

 

I do the vacuum trick.

And I am also D O N E picking up this sh*t constantly. DONE! God it's frustrating!