Please don't...

Today I found myself saying all of the following:

Please don't stick your toes into your sister's eyes.

Please don't climb out on that narrow branch. A two inch branch will not hold your weight. No, you will not spontaneously learn to fly if the branch breaks. Trust me.

Please don't lick the concrete floor by the fountain. And no, I don't know what concrete tastes like.

Please don't climb into that cave (in a display at the natural history museum). I know you think you're a cave lion, but that cave is just for looking at.

Please don't use the butter knife to perform emergency surgery on your sister's stomach. I'm sure her appendix is just fine.


Anyone else find themselves uttering crazy statements like the ones above? My kids crack me up on a regular basis, but today seemed even funnier than normal.

 

Please don't touch your brothers' penis. Or balls.

Seriously. At least once a day during a diaper change. :crazy:

 

MY boys are only 19 months, but I have said some prety funny things.

Please don't put your finger up Nathaniel's bum is a pretty standard one here. Funny it's only ever William sticking his finger up his brother's bum though.

Like the PP said, please dont touch your brothers penis. There is also please don't kiss your brother's penis

Please don't eat the garbage

We have tons of snails in our backyard so there is also

Please dont put the snail in your mouth

 

I can't think of any specifics right now, but I've found myself saying way more of those things at ages 4+ than I ever did when they were toddlers.

Today I walked into the dining room and found Amy (wearing nothing underpants, incidentally) standing on a step stool in front of the cabinet filled with all our fancy china, about to slide open the glass door. This was a cabinet we had no need to babyproof 3 years ago, but apparently now they need to be told, "No, you do not have free access to the china cabinet."

 

Please don't sit on top of your sister's head is what I found myself saying yesterday. I thought it was pretty self evident but apparently not to my DS who was laughing manically.

 

Love these!

Please don't ride your sister like a horse.
Please don't put your mouth on that (I have to say that all.the.time!).

Related: please keep your dresses on! (said when I had to take them to the liquor store yesterday. As I was paying, I turned around and both had their dresses down around their waists! Yikes).

 

Me too! I should probably put child proof locks on my cabinets now, even though we've never needed them before.

 

please don't put your toothbrush in the toilet.

please don't flip your mattress over to make a slide

please dont' take all the sheets off your bed.

please don't drive your mother crazy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yesterday's:

Please don't leave the library with the monkey...it belongs to the library.

 

Please dont poop in the yard....yeah, I had to say that! :hush:

 

Please don't lick the fan. :blink:

 

I said that at least 3 or 4 times yesterday. I'll add:

Please get your fingers out of your diaper :bad:

Please don't come up and wipe your "boogies" on my shirt :bad:

Please don't try to shove your toys down my shirt while laughing "it's by your boobs"...thanks grandma for that one :fool: .

 

ROFL! :laughing:

How about when it comes from one of your kids? Ivy is totally "little mommy" to Andrew. Conversation this morning:

Ivy: Andrew, sweetie, it's time to get dressed.

Andrew: I don't want to get dressed!

Ivy: Sweetie, you have to get dressed. You can't show everyone your penis.

Andrew: I CAN!

Ivy: Please don't show everyone your penis. It's private.

 

I am just impressed that you all say "please!" Makes me feel like I should be a bit nicer with my requests!!!

 

Oh my goodness!!! My kids probably think the only words I know are please don't, STOP and NO!!! I have been going crazy trying to get this house ready for my inlaws to make it easier for them to watch the kids while the baby is born and my goodness I feel like I have to stay one step ahead and just go ahead and say please don't do this please don't do that!!! It is never ending around here!!!!

My neighbor baked some cookies for me to take to vacation bible school tonight and I am even having to tell myself PLEASE DON'T eat all of these delicious cookies and replace them with store bought cookies LOL!!!!!!!!!