Dressing them alike

I've been dressing the boys alike since they were born. At first I did it because it was cute, than it kinda grew into a conveinence in not having to decide who looks better in what, and now I see it as more of a safety type thing. When we go to the park I can spot my two because they are both wearing the same thing and I don't have to remember who was wearing what.

So I was having a conversation with a lady the other day and this subject came up and one of her comments was the ol' "well doesn't that give them a complex later in life" type of thing. My immediate reaction was No and I still feel that way but it got me thinking about when to kind of let go of the whole dressing alike.

I'm curious how that worked for everyone else. Did you start to dress them seperate before they understood the whole concept of picking out clothes or continue on with the same outfit until they were old enough to decide for themselves?

I do have to admit that part of me is still holding onto it because my two are fraternal and really look nothing alike. Even though I dress them alike I still get comments from people on how they look like cousins or the more shocked-like comment of "they're twins?". So I guess it's my "last" little thing to hold onto for the twin thing if that makes sense.

 

My girls are just now starting to show preferences for certain clothes & so I'm just going with it. Sometimes, they do like to dress alike (Riley especially), but they're also starting to want to wear different stuff as well. I usually let them pick their outfits in the morning - within weather appropriate parameters! :laughing: I think it's one of those things you can just go with the flow - as they get older & gain independence, I think it's just a natural progression that they'll want to wear their own things.

 

I spent the first 3 years of their lives obsessed with dressing them alike. Then Addison started to express her own style and not wanting to dress so girly I tried to keep it up but about 6 months ago I gave up. Ava is an extreme girly girl and Addison is a tomboy. So Ava only wants to wear a dress, skirt and / or tutu Addison cannot stand any of those so i cannot dress them alike very often at all anymore. I tried the other day, I put them both in very cute pink and brown plaid shorts and Ava asked me why I was dressing her like a boy LOL!! Oh well!!

 

I think you can continue if they don't mind but would ease up if they seem to object.
I still like to coordinate my b/g almost 4 year olds - it is cute! I do also put all 3 of mine (6 year old big bro) in the same color shirt if we are going to a large park for the reason you stated - much easier to find them.

 

I was *just* thinking about this. My girls are 3.5 and they still dress alike. I just said to DH yesterday that it was so much less stressful at the large playground because they were dressed the same and it was easier to see where they were. They have not started expressing a desire to dress differently, so we'll continue like this since it is easy. It will be hard for me to let it go, but when they start wanting to pick out there own clothes or ask for something different, I will let them. BTW, mine are fraternal too.

 

I rarely dressed my girls exactly alike, but i did coordinate them (same outfit, different color). Between 2 and 3 they started to tell me what they wanted (or didn't want) to wear. Sometime they pick out the coordinating or matching outfit on the same day, but usually not. If we are going somewhere crowded though, I do try to dress them alike so I can easily keep track of them. I guess I'm saying they will tell you when they are done dressing alike!

 

Mine still dress alike for the most part. I will continue to do so as long as they fight over who gets what outfit. It's not worth the battle, in my opinion. They don't even notice. When they start to care I'll do something about it. But, until that time I'm not going to fix what's not broken, LOL. We do have outfits from my older boys which obviously don't match but they are still too wide for them to wear with the exception of a couple of shorts outfits. My guys are so skinny and the older clothes didn't have adjustable waists. When the older boys got to boys size 4 I started buying true slims. That will probably be when I start to let them try to dress differently. But if they argue and fight, it'll be the end of it.

Edited to add: We have on occasion had one of them hide at an ice rink or two. It has been extremely helpful to show people one twin and say "Have you seen a little boy that looks just like him?" It's sad, but they think rinks are their home so they can wander. Talk about frightening!!!

 

I had almost entirely used clothes so mine were rarely dressed alike as babies or toddlers--but when they started to express preferences they often would have a fit if they couldn't have at least very smiliar clothes. If one got a whinnie the pooh t-shirt there had better be another whinnie the pooh t-shirt for the other one kind of thing. While it was kind of a pain, they learned good negociation skills and I have developed an amazing ablity to spot identical things at the used clothing sales!

Now they were school uniforms so dress exactly alike to school and often unconsciously put on very smiliar outfits at home. I come home sometimes and ask them, Why are you dressed alike? and they say We're not. And I'm like yes, you are look in the mirror. Then they realize that they are dressed alike.

 

I do the same with my DS's. I think the last time I dressed them in the same outfit was for christmas photos in 2009.

It's funny because the are fraternal and people get upset when I dress them alike, but then they also buy them identical outfits.

The only other time I dress them alike is if we are going to a crowded place like the zoo. I find it easier to keep track of them.

 

The bolded areas are me. We have very few new things but I prefer them dressed the same for safety especially at a park where I'm always counting to 2. I think of it as a giant game of memory- do I have that shirt at home?

 

My girlies are 5 1/2 and still dress alike sometimes. But they're soooo fraternal, that it's more for me and wanting them to look at least a little like twins that I do it. Here's a scrapbook page I did with them and you can see how different they are now: twins. But it's mostly just when we go somewhere, especially if it's an "outing" so to speak and not just running to the store or something. They're almost always dressed alike or coordinating for Church on Sunday. I like having them dressed the same at the park for the same reason. And I just think they look cute. But a lot of the time at home, they pick out their own clothes (many from handmedowns from my oldest, so there's just 1 of any thing). Sabrina is more likely to want to match than Sydney is. And Sydney is a total tomboy in everything but how she dresses. She's totally rough and tumble, play in the dirt, keep up with her brothers, climbing trees and whatnot... in a princess dress. Sabrina is much more reserved girly girl and a sweet little mama to her dollies and little brother, but she usually chooses pants or shorts to wear.

 

Most of the time I dress mine alike, for the same reasons you listed. Mine tend to want whatever the other has so there have been times that they were not happy in different clothing. But sometimes, they want to wear different things and I let them. We also do a lot of coordinating. If we are going somewhere new where people are going to be expected to tell them apart, I will dress them differently because they look so much alike.

For now, I'm just going to continue how we are until they start showing more preference for particular clothes.

 

I wouldn't stress over the part of "scarring them for life"... of being dressed alike... there are families of non twins/multiples that dress their kids alike... like the family at church with the 5 yo, 7 yo & 9 yo and the girls all have the exact same dress on!!

as for us, I like to coordinate colors (b/g twins) when we go out... but they definitely have opinions!! both my boy and my girl have opinions... though sometimes they like to dress alike so that makes me smile still!

I've noticed my girl doesn't like this really cute red/white/blue dress I have - darnit b/c I have 2 really cute shirts for my boy that coordinate... but I think she doesn't really like traditional non girlie colors. hmm...

 

My girls are 5.5 years old and still dress them a like. I ask them occasionally if they still like to dress the same and they keep saying yes so there is no reason to change

 

I still dress mine alike a lot of days! Last summer, when shopping for their summer clothes, I let them choose what they wanted, and most times they wanted what their sister had, so I continued to buy a lot of matching/coordinating stuff. When it came time for preschool in the fall, same thing. Just in the past couple of months they have started expressing interest in picking out what to wear. I have started to encourage them to pick what they want and remind them time and again they don't have to match. Inevitably, they choose an outfit to match the other one. Like Heather, I have one tomboy and one girly-girl personality starting to shine through so I know this will not be long lived from this point forward.

I do want to dress them similar/alike for family parties/functions for a while. My brother always did it for his girls who are 2 years apart and I think it just looks so cute. I know those days are numbered too, so I'm enjoying it now. :Clap:

 

Sometime around 3 1/2. My one son is very opinionated about what he wears. I have a few matching shirts, just in case, because sometimes they do want to dress alike. I like to have them coordinate, but often they aren't into it unless it's for a party or picture.

 

i still dress mine the same everyday. i am blessed to have a mom who loves to buy them clothes, and she only buys them matching stuff. and they still insist on wearing matching outfits, so i don't plan to dress them differently till they tell me they want to. aaand, yes, it's much easier to spot them in crowds of kids when they're matching!

 

I love how everyone is an expert on raising twins. :lol: What, exactly, was she basing that on?

I have never dressed my twins the same. Mostly because my oldest DD was the first grandchild on both sides and had a ton of clothes - plenty for two babies. And then, it was just something that we didn't do. And, to be honest, as someone that has never done it it seems like more work to coordinate/match, not easier. I guess it's just what you are used to. I have all their clothes put together as outfits on hangers in their closet and they pick out whatever they want each morning. I think you should do what you are comfortable with - but if they start expressing the desire to pick out their own then I wouldn't force them to continue.

My twins are fraternal with different hair and eye color and wear different sizes. My oldest and one twin have red hair and are almost the exact same height. People often think they are twins. All three of my girls get a kick out of people asking about it, and we are sometimes asked if they are triplets. It doesn't really matter to me.

 

Mine are fraternal as well and at this point they don't even look like the same age! If mine were identical I think I would dress them more alike. It's actually hard not to since they are the same size and its easier to just pick up two or four of the same item. I stopped dressing them alike when they were under 2 years old. In looking through albums I realized in almost every picture they were in the same outfit. I think all parents do this at one point whether they have twins or not. I have countless pictures of me and my sisters dressed in the same outfit or material...it looks silly now when I look over those albums as well. But that's our job! Every adult has said to their parents "I can't believe you let me wear that!

 

I never dressed them alike (partly because nearly all our clothes were pre-owned and I rarely had two of the same thing). But I did dress them similarly, which ended around 24 months when they started insisting on picking out their own clothes.

 

Ok, if the truth be known and I had my way- I would at least coordinate all 6 of my kids everyday LOL!!!!!! From my 17 yr old to the new baby who will be born next month LOL!!!! Last summer I made the 5 of them coordinate for a picture, my older boys HATED it but oh my goodness I LOVED it!!!! LOL!!!!

 

Mine have rarely been dressed alike. I did coordinate them when they were younger. And if they had a class, I would make a point to have them in different clothes. While they are fraternal, and don't look alike, it still made it easier for the teacher (who had them once a week for 45 min.) to know who was who. My MIL was an ID twin who was made to dress like her sister--as they grew, they didn't know any different, so it was a long time until they chose different clothing. She was adamant that mine never dress alike. She is, like a PP, a shopahaulic, but she always made sure to send the boys different outfits.

 

I dressed my girls in coordinating outfits until they were old enough to choose their own clothes. Now that they are five, they have decided they want to dress alike because they are "twins" and that is what twins do I am like Sharon, I make a point of not dressing them alike for school because no one can tell them apart and I try to make it easier for the teachers. But they are really starting to insist that they dress alike so I am going to have a few outfits that are the same.

 

Mine are turning 7 next month and LOVE to dress alike. They're ID and I started dressing the same when they were born .. I'll let them do it until they don't want to anymore. But if you ask them .. they would rather dress the same.

 

i never dressed mine alike. they sometimes choose the same shorts these days (they are both into plaids and got a few of the same pairs). but i never did it on purpose.

 

I love doing this for family pictures. Not identical things, but say all white shirts with denim. Or khaki and white. This way I don't have to do extra shopping usually because we all have white shirts and jeans/denim capris/skirts or khaki pants/skirts/capris. Luckily they don't hate it.

 

I never really liked dressing my boys the same. I would on occasion. Normally if a relative gave them a matching outfit, when they were next in town, I'd put them in those outfits. I's often coordinate them. Jeans on both with a collared shirt of different colors. Or both in khakis, or I'd even go as far as jean overalls on one with jean pants on the other with similar shirts. Sometimes I'd just put them in whatever and not worry about themes or style similarities. As they got older, they started to show preferences. Some days, Cameron wanted stripes while Kiefer wanted a picture on his shirt like a shark or a superhero or a helicopter. Other times, they really didn't seem to care. I ran into problems when I was asking their preference for diaper/pull-up designs. Then they argued over who got what big time. I learned from that that when dealing with twins, it's good to pick out three or four outfits to choose from cause no matter who chose what, the other would still have a choice and not just the rejected one from his sibling.

 

I dress my boys in 'coordinated' clothes, so for example in yellow shirts but one shirt has a bulldozer and the other a loader. Or both in Cubs shirts, but different types, both in striped polos, etc. I pretty much always do the matching-color-but-different-picture shirts for when we're going to be running around somewhere. It makes them much easier to spot. But they still get to 'pick' out their shirts and have ones that are their favorites between the two choices.

 

As an identical twin, personally I would never have dressed my kids alike. It's hard enough to always be 'one of the twins' and looking the same without having the same clothes on. Of course they probably don't care at this age, but still... it would bother me. I think my mom coordinated us until 6 or so...

Definitely not a big deal with fraternals though. I guess I just don't really understand why anyone would go through all the extra work of dressing them alike... Having to find two items of the same size etc... what a drag. LOL. I like buying clearance and sales and it's hard enough to find one thing in their size sometimes. What do you do if one stains their shirt? I understand the 'finding them at the park' thing though, but I'm always close enough and I have a good memory of what they are wearing.

 

I am anal about laundry anyway so it's no big deal to group the id and matching stuff together. It's very easy every morning (or whenever) to pull out 2 of the same when they are grouped together. If one of them stains something, I change him out of it and they probably won't match the rest of the day. I don't get hung up on it if they aren't matching, I just personally prefer matching or coordinating. If 1 of 2 matching outfits can't be used then they just have 1 for when they are not matching.

 

We have both matching and non matching clothes. I usually just grab something, my MIL who watches them a few days a week almost always dresses them alike, and they will either pick the same or not when I let them depending on their mood!

Interestingly, I DON'T like to dress them the same when we go to a park, unlike most people who posted. I like to know I've seen each kid, not just the same kid twice. Just a different point of view. Mine are very identical, though, the other day I messed them up three times at dinner!

 

I honestly feel like it's easier to dress them alike! I don't have to find 14 outfits, I just have to find 7 I would say about 80% of their clothes are identical and the rest are coordinating (same thing different color). I would LOVE if they coordinated everyday instead of exactly matching, but that's far too hard to find. Once they can pick their own clothes, I think it will be fun for them to dress differently to match their own personalities. When I take them to the daycare at the gym, I either dress them in different colors or put one of them in pigtails!

 

This is me too .. I find it more work to try to find 2 different outfits. I'm not one to just toss an outfit on my kids .. I put a lot of thought into it and so it's much easier to have to only think about 1 outfit.

Mine can pick their own clothes but prefer to choose the same. They'll comment if one is wearing a different outfit. Mine don't go to the same school and so there are many days they wear different clothes. I use those "single's" for these days. But I agree it IS easier to dress them alike !