Help! My toddler is biting

I am so frustrated and feel literally sick to my stomach. My boys are 25months and today DS1 bit his brother today on the face and broke the skin. It happened so fast, they we getting along reading a book and all of a sudden DS1 has DS2 pinned to the floor on top of him biting the crap out of his cheek, my husband had to pull him off of DS2. I am at a loss of how to discipline. He is already much more aggressive and bigger than his brother so it is an unfair fight to begin with. This is the third time he has gone for his brother's face and this was the first time it actually occurred before we got to the two of them. Each time we have removed him immediately put him in time out and told him very sternly "No biting" but it just doesn't seem to sink in, I know he knows that it is not okay but he continues to do it. I feel like I have a walking time bomb on my hands and I never know when its going to happen, and I am very nervous about it happening to other children (not to discount the seriousness to my own son).

Has anyone experienced this type of behavior? Do I bite back? Do I spank? We try not punish violence with another violent action, we feel it might send the wrong message, but time out just doesnt seem to do it and I really dont want DS2 to be emotionally scarred by the bullying of his brother.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're having so much trouble! We're having biting problems too, but no face incidents. The DS that usually bites is usually biting Mommy and Daddy, so at least that's something. My kids are pretty close in age to yours. I think it would be a bad idea to bite back or spank, because it gives the message that violence is ok. One question for you is if you can figure out what triggers it or makes it likely - is it when he's hungry or tired? Has he been sitting still for too long? Is he overstimulated or wanting some one-on-one time? I see that you're pregnant, is it possible that your boy might be stressed about the new baby coming? Also, he might be biting for attention so you might try to give more attention to the victim and not the biter.
My boy will bite us if he doesn't want to do something (go inside) or if we're not moving in a desired direction fast enough, or just because he's excited to see us. I try to tell him not to bite people, but direct him to something else, like his own shirt or food or his toy. I also try to head off his trigger behavior - and just keep his mouth away from me when he's wild like that! For us it started suddenly and I'm hoping it will stop just as suddenly -- and I won't be taking off DS2's shirt in the morning and finding a perfect scabbed-over imprint of DS1's teeth on DS2's back. *shudder*
I found a good resource at -- http://ceep.crc.illinois.edu/poptopics/biting.html

Hah! It looks like they are exactly the same age!!

 

First of all, biting is developmentally normal in toddlers. Some kids bite. Other than the reasons mentioned above, kids also tend to bite more when they are teething, or if they have a speech delay. It turned out my biter had a SEVERE expressive speech delay. While he could speak, he had (and still has at times) difficulty coming up with the words he needed to express himself, so he would bite out of frustration. The thing that worked the best for us, was to tell him "no bite, kiss", it would give him an appropriate redirection with his mouth, so he would be able to change from an attack to a kiss. Sounds kind of dumb, but it really did work, because it gave him an alternative to biting that was acceptable.

Also, like all phases, this will pass.

 

I do think it happens when he is overly tired and he just doesnt know how to express himself verbally, both of my boys are a little behind other children in their communication skills. I like the kiss idea, I might give that a try. Thanks for the input hopefully this will pass very very soon!

 

I've tried the 'kiss me instead' on my boy but it doesn't seem to satisfy whatever urge it is that drives him to bite.

 

We're having this issue too, except it's only when they're playing or goofing around. I think they think it's funny! I wish it was out of anger, because I think I'd be doing a better job redirecting. But play, well, it's a little harder. The hitting phase we went through a few months ago seems to have mostly passed, so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed this will too.