Overwhelmed, flat and so damn exhausted!

My twinnies are almost 14 months and my days just seem to be dissapearing.
I have 2 older kids who are at school and everything just seems to be so full on, so busy all of the time! From the moment I drag myself out of bed to the moment I sneak into bed at night (twins are in my room), I feel like I'm on one of those pet mice/hamster wheels just going round and round and round, trying to keep up with everything.
I feel like I don't have time to enjoy the twins as they are and that's just one of the things that gets me down if I stop and think aboout it too much.
I feel so flat and tired with nothing left to give anyone at the end of the day, least of all my husband.

 

I struggle with too since I'm solo parenting for 16 days at a time, with my hubby only home for 10. Its nonstop with soccer, homework and the twins. We have only one activity each for the kids, but that still works out to 3 nights a week. Throw in homework and teething toddlers - I feel your pain. I sit here for 10min when I could be cleaning and then feel guilty when I'm doing dishes that I DID sit for a few minutes.....I wish I had a solution but I don't - I can only say you're not alone....

 

I am absolutely right there with you. DD's are almost 14 months and I am 29 weeks pg and I am drained. I try to get up the energy to go for a walk, a playdate, a trip somewhere with them and I end up feel like I've been hit by a ton of bricks or like I just got done running a marathon. I feel guilty when we stay inside or just play in our playroom all day.. to tell the truth.. sometimes I just don't feel like I have enough stamina to keep up with them outside of the playroom. Some days are really good and other days I feel exactly as you said... like a hamster on a wheel. I know this phase will pass and I know my girls will be more independent, but mostly I just want a day off to do nothing. Sorry I don't have anything but empathy to offer... but maybe it will be of some comfort that there are many of us out here that feel the same.

 

I know that everyday life with kids can be a whirlwind, but I was just wondering what your days look like that you don't have any down time. Why is everything such a whirlwind all the time? Is there anything that can be cut out? Are you without outside help? I need a little more info if you can give it.

 

First HUGS!!!!
Life with kids is always busy and hard. We all know about that. To me, you have a wonderful family. My kids are the same age as yours. And to be honest, I enjoy every sec with them. I just cant have enough of them..have you ever thought why you always feel that way?...Have you recently cut down on breast feeding? I totally understand your feelings even we just have the twins. I always felt like I ran on the last drop of engery. It hit me harder when I slowed down and then weaned completely. I felt so horrible, tired all the time, no engery, depressed. I thought that I couldnt keep going any sec with my full time stressful jobs and the kids, family,... I never appreciated what I had though...One day I decided to join the gym. And I did. And I have been so serious about working out. At first, I just wanted to lose weight and I did (15lbs in a month). But I realized that gym is the place I release all my stress and working out makes me feel so much better and happier and it gives me full energy, increases my sex drive. I swear its the best solution for all my problems. I started reading more about workout and eating healthy....Its all about our metabolism. As we are getting old, our metabolisms drop. We gave birth to kids, metabolisms drop. After we stop breast feeding, metabolisms drop. And when it drops, we feel tired, exhausted, depressed, sad, gain weight,...its very simple. We just have to fix it and bring it back to normal. Luckily, its so easy to fix....

check out some books about metabolism at local library. You read it you will realize the problem and it will give you some ideas how to fix it. join a gym. Most of gyms now have daycare. And many of them offer 1 month free membership. You can just leave your kids there to play with other kids and go work out for 1 hour. You will be surpirsed how much fun they will have there...I know you have to do housework and dont have time for gym. But its for your well being. try to have some 30 mins here and there. Only 30 mins on treadmill will make you feel way better. I know I sounds impossible. But really give it a try. read a book and try out the gym. its very simple. Give it sometimes and you will feel much better and happier. And you will enjoy your family more. I have to tell you that at some point, I was so close to taking happy pills. But i never did...If you need to talk about this, just email me . HUGS! :youcandoit:

 

Kids are always tiring...I get tired out with just my two and I don't have other children besides them. :hug:
I know your days can seem overwhelming with so much to do but I am wondering if you can't take a day week when the kids nap to just relax on the couch/read a book/listen to music or do something that relaxes you. I know I use nap time to try to get things done that I cannot do with the kids around but I was quickly getting burnt out and started to assign one task during nap time and use the rest to relax. It's definitely helped.

 

Sorry this is long!

Ditto with the feeling guilty about sitting down at computer for 10 mins :laughing:

:grouphug: It's so good to know I'm not the only one. As babies go, my girls are okay. Apart from recently, they don't cry too much, they wander around, they're confident etc. BUUUUUUUUT, It's the constantness of it all I think. The never having 'down' time. T1 is also starting to get very very clingy so that even more fun.

Where to start?!
I don't have any outside help, which admittedly does make me resentful at times!!
My eldest ds has AS and so is full on. That's not really it though, only a part of it. DD is 5 and I'm still bf nearly 14mth twins. One of them is starting to STTN and the other is still having 1-2 bf through the night!! I hardly see my husband and I am the one who gets up to babies throughthe night as he is often sleeping in the spare room - not because he's in the bad books - because he has a dreadful snoring problem and its the only way any of us can get any sleep. :headbang:
Our mornings consist of me getting 2 oldest ready for school, dressing myself and 2 babies to go out, school drop off. As soon as we come home, I start doing tidying up, dishwasher, washing clothes, folding etc. In between these jobs, I tend to the twins. I have to keep an eye on the time because its all about the timing with two babies and make sure that they have lunch then a bf then bed early enough so they get some sleep before kids come home from school. T2 quite often will only sleep for 1- 1 1/2 hrs!!
As soon as they go down, I do the jobs that I can't do with them crawling around.
Then I try to do 1/2 hr or so of physical activity, then lunch, then if all is still quiet maybe computer but not always.
Kids come home and pretty much from then on it's a race to help with homework, feed twinnies, squeeze in some ouside time, and get dinner ready early enough so that we can all try and eat together. Then baths, teeth, stories, bedtimes. Then lunches for next day, dishes, uniforms, shower.
Maybe it's stupid, but i like to try and watch tv a little bit before I go to bed. My husband asks why i don't just go to bed but it's hard to explain. I think it's my way of taking some control and switching off.

It's funny you say all this. About 3 weeks ago I made a consious decision to start squeezing in some exercise each day. Before that it was sporadic as I just couldn't find the time.
Even now, I have a small window of time when twins have sleep, but I find if I do some then, then there isn't much time to do anything else. If I try and go for a late walk in afternoon then the kids don't always get to bed early enough. It feels like our house runs on military precision sometimes and if I'm not there....... I do feel better for it when I've been 'good' for a few days but really it's just another thing to juggle for me. i know I need to and I want to but then something else has to give.

Doing that now Should be doing my floors. Or doing some daily exercise, I won't have time this afternoon. Damn, more guilt :gah:

REading back through this looooooong post, I guess it's about feeling like soemone is listening. :cry: Theres probably not much that can be done and its going to be like this for a while yet. I think it's good to admit that life is hard and chaotic and stressful.
I am tryint to take bits of time and appreciate my babies. Even when I put them to bed and have a quick cuddle I look at them and feel blessed.

 

I am in the same boat, my twins are 15 months and I have a 5 year old too...and I feel like I am doing something wrong as I just feel like I am chasing my tail every day.

Its funny that your husband says that about you watching TV. Every night my husband will say, if your so tired go to bed. But I just need some down time for 30 mins to just chill before I go to sleep and it all starts again.

 

I feel your pain! I also feel like I'm a treadmill with my days. My twins are 18 months now, but I also have a nearly 9YO DD. When school ended last week, I can't tell you the relief I felt. I try to do a lot with my DD's school and the PTO, and luckily my mother can help watch the babies if I need to go out. Between school obligations, taking care of the babies and the house, and my part-time job (which I do from home), I was in insane mode. Now that DD is home, I'm trying to adjust to a different schedule with different obligations. We haven't scheduled much yet, but after this week we can hopefully fall into a better groove that includes catching up on this house.

My biggest guilt factor is that I feel like I don't spend enough time enjoying the babies, or teaching them things. I'm trying to work on that, as well as working on making more time for me (exercising, planning better meals, etc.)

And I totally agree on the TV before bed thing -- I'm sitting here with my laptop reading the boards (for the first time in months!) watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV. Mindless stupid television, but it's like a downtime thing...

 

Wow, you have a FULL plate. I was a SAHM for 16 months and went back to work consulting part-time (best thing in the world!) I just recently spent an entire week with them alone and the feelings you describe started coming back to me. So having something outside the home helps me mentally. One thing my DH did and still does is take the girls out of the house for a few hours or the day on the weekends. It really helps to have something to look forward to at the end of the week. However, staying at home alone does not mean more freedom to clean! You must watch TV, eat in peace and surf the web! You can also just leave! Seriously, if your DH doesn't like to take them about alone. Start by leaving on the weekends for lunch and a movie. Never in my life have I ever gone anywhere alone, now it is my favorite thing to do!