Dealing with Frustration

How do you deal with your twins' frustration? My twin B has been getting so frustrated lately that she literally hits herself in the head with her own hands or with the objects in her hands (the other day she took a spoon to herself). I am completely at a loss for what to do.

When A gets frustrated, she throws herself on the floor. Not a big deal - we walk away and she usually gets over it pretty quickly. In general, A has learned not to throw herself down too hard because she has gotten hurt overreacting before. Because of that (her hesitation to hurt herself) we have a pretty good idea of when she's frustrated and when she has actually hurt herself. With twin B, we have no clue. She will follow after you striking herself, tearing at her hair, and screaming. It seems like she is acctually hurting herself, adding to her upset from her initial frustration. HELP! Anyone else deal with this?

BTW - My girls are 13 months old.

 

My DS used to bang his head in frustration and I would try to remove him from the area and try to get him to at least use a pillow. I found that my twins frustration eased so much when they could communicate their wants and needs much better.
In your case, I would take the objects out of her hand if at all possible and try to get her to a safe place (her room/crib/pack and play) and get her some quiet time to cool down.
13 months is a tough age because they don't have the communication skills to really express what they want to. I found that it got better for my two as they hit 19-20 months. I felt like once they turned 1, it was as if switch went off and it was tantrum city in here.

 

Yes I agreed. They are frustrated bc of lack of communication. Mine dont get that upset. But I always guess what they want or redirect them. My son loves to touch the decoratig ball on he ceiling. When hes upset, we let him touch it . Or we sit them both on our computer chair and spin it lol. They can say "NA' meaning NO. So that's easy... But sometimes we have no idea why they are upset....

Check out "happy toddler on the block" I use the techniques and they works 70-90%. Gl!

 

Thank you for reminding me about this. We loved the Happiest Baby on the Block and I'm excited to see what they say about toddlers. My problems are twofold:
a. They both start doing an 'angry dance' and scream at me directly when I tell them no.
b. Orion is a bit of a baby bully. He gets frustrated and seeks Sebastian out. He starts by hitting, then grabbing, then biting.
What I've started doing is rewarding Sebastian when Orion misbehaves/not allowing Orion to participate. For example, they love ELmo, so I'll take Sebastian to another room where Orion can hear and play an Elmo video on YouTube. I'm not sure if it's going to work or not, though.

 

From what I've read, those types of behaviors are considered "self-regulating" - meaning, they'll stop short of actually hurting themselves. I agree with Nancy to take away any objects & then take her someplace low-stimulation to give her time to calm down.

I also agree that this is a tough age because they want to communicate but aren't entirely sure how yet. Have you tried any simple sign language with them? They may really take to it at this age & it may help cut down on some of the frustration. :hug:

 

Oh my gosh - so true. I mistakenly thought that tantrums came with the terrible 2's. Nope.

I sure hope this is the case. I just feel terrible when she whacks herself. We have tried redirecting her and distracting her, but sometimes it just makes things worse. Once, when I tried to hold her to comfort her, she smashed her head into my nose so hard I nearly cried. Needless to say, moving her to a safe location may not be an option. Sigh. Why can't childhood be bliss?

We are working on sign language with them, but I'm not sure what sign I could teach her that would help her communicate before she gets frustrated as she gets frustrated by different things. The message that she is ticked is coming through clearly.

 

Get baby signing time. My kids love love Rachel teacher. Another thing is it might not work well when she is so mad and angry and you try to calm her down. It's better if you try to match her emotional level. Then she knows/believe you understand what going on. Then she willcome down. Try that