Comfort items...when to stop?

Again, something DH is eager to get rid of. Me, not so much. The boys have blankets that they sleep with. Anthony is wayyyyy more attached to it than Nicholas. A total comfort thing for him for sure. When he wakes up, he brings it downstairs with him. He can play without it, and does, but every now and then he goes looking for it. We don't take it places, unless we are spending the night. It doesn't even come in the car with us. It was a blanket my former boss made(the fleece taggy type ones). And once I got it, I just had visions of my boys climbing the stairs with their little blankets following behind them. It's something I am in no rush to get rid of!

I tell dh people have loveys, blankets, stuffed animals, etc for YEARS. Help me prove him right! Now granted, if he ditches it on his own, that's fine(I hope not...lol).

 

I still have MY blankie and teddy bear. :blush: They went to college with me, graduate school, honeymoon and now my girls sometimes cuddle with them too.

My girls each have their own thing (M has her two beloved kittens, and A has her "hankies," which are old cotton bandanas). I won't take away my girls' comfort items, but we do have rules about them. They stay in their beds (I can't worry about keeping track of them), and only leave the house when we are going on a trip (and then I pack them in MY carry on so we don't lose them). When we get to where we are going, they stay in those beds too and are only for sleepy time. I don't see any need to take them away for good because I think I'm a pretty well-adjusted 36 year old adult and I still have mine.

 

Tell him that they're only kids once...why grow up so fast? I think it's cute and a good comfort item for when they need them. We don't take blankies with us anywhere either and I think that will make it easier for when they start school. I would let them hold on to them - what's the harm. Good luck!!

 

You just proved my point Leighann! I know I need to get better at being more strict with them. Annabella has a bear that she is CRAZY about. When we were in Italy it went with us EVERYWHERE for the entire two weeks. She's going to be tough!

My thoughts exactly! I'd keep them babies forever if I could!

 

I still have my Raggedy Ann and Andy blankey tucked away with my bras - easy to access if ever I need a quick comfort that only my blankey can bring!

I don't understand people's big rush to get rid of these things, just stand firm. They are security items, they bring comfort, security, and happiness to kids - ask him why he'd want to take that away from them.

 

I still have mine too. And my kids will keep theirs as long as they want. We do put some restrictions on where the loveys are allowed to go (they weren't allowed out of the cribs until they kids were 3, and then not out of the bedroom until they were around 4.5 -- they're still not allowed out of the house unless we're going away overnight), but I don't ever plan to take them away.

 

My issue with mine is that they suck their blankie all the time, so I'm worried about the consequences it's going to have for their teeth... it's worse than a pacifier because it's just gross. I know we need to get rid of them, but it's a horrible tantrum if we try... I just don't know how to deal with it...

 

A&R leave their blankets in their beds unless I give them permission to bring them to the living room (i.e. the kids are sick or whatever and watching television.)

I don't have a blankey that I've had since childhood, but I do have a blanket that I received last year that makes me sleep better than any other blanket I've had, so I guess that's my blankey.

 

Mine still have their blankies that a couple of former colleagues made for them. Around age 4, we put a limit on bringing them out of their rooms and now they stay on their beds. They only use them at bedtime and are ok with that. Very rarely if they are feeling well, I will allow it out on the couch. I'm in no rush to get rid of it. I don't see any harm in them having them.

 

My oldest finally outgrew his lovey (*cry*) about 2 yrs ago. We also had restrictions, it had to stay at the house, unless we were travelling but then it went into the suitcase so we didn't accidentally lose it somewhere. We oldest dd still has her lovey, although it does change periodically, and the twins have 3 "guys" that they sleep with. They still bring them into the living room sometimes, but they don't leave the house either

 

Our problem is that they are multiplying. They barely have room in their beds for all their stuffed animals that they insist have to sleep in their beds. And they look for each and everyone before they can go to bed/sleep. I have strict rules about them leaving their beds other than traveling, but they always sneak one or two downstairs when DH gets them out of bed and then go bonkers when they don't remember what they did with them. I can literally count on one hand the number of meltdowns Connor has had in his entire life. A whopping 3. The biggest ever - cried until he passed out - over a lost stuffed animal that we searched for for hours before finally finding.

On the bright side they are great leverage for kids who don't want to go bed. "If I hear another peep one of your "babies" are going to spend the night with mommy... "

 

I don't intend to make my girls get rid of theirs. Annelise has two "burpies" (plain old burp cloths that we replace with clean ones on a regular basis) and Karina has a little froggie blanket. They stay in the house. Usually they keep them in their room, but I'm not adamant that they never come out. We take them with us on trips, but they don't usually come with us other places. I had my blankie until high school when it completely fell apart. I see no harm in having a comfort item if they are able to separate from it when necessary (school, etc.).

 

My two still have loveys but we have rules about them. The loveys have to stay home and are for nap time and bed time. They can take their loveys with them when they go overnight somewhere.
I'm in no hurry to have the kids get rid of them. I have a pillow that I do not travel without and I cannot sleep without it.

 

Mine still have lovey's. However, very recently DS has pretty much given his up on his own. DD, on the other hand, is still VERY attached to hers. My only concern is her thumbsucking. She only sucks her thumb when she has her lovey. However, I have talked about it with our ped. and he pretty much says not too pressure her on it. So, I am taking his advice and assume she will give it up eventually. I am glad they have/had a comfort item. I think it is far greater that they are able to self soothe and comfort themselves. AND...if she takes it to college...so be it. I just hope she quits with the thumbsucking part of it soon.

 

This is my feeling exactly. What is the big deal about them having a comfort item? They're such a normal thing.

All my kids have some kind of comfort item (the 8 year olds as well) and I wouldn't dream of taking them away. I let the twins carry theirs round the house if they want, not E & E because they suck on theirs (muslin cloths) and I don't want them walking around sucking them all day. I never let the kids take them out of the house, but that is just because I don't want to have to stress about loosing them-they are allowed to take them out with their parents.

Oh and I slept with my special teddies (3 of them!) until I was a teenager. I still have them on a shelf in my bedroom.

 

If I were you I'd do what many in this thread have said they do and enforce a strict 'blankies stay in bed' rule. Tell them that if they want to have their blankie (during the day) they can, but they have to sit on the bed with it. When they want to get up and play the blankie has to be put back on the bed.
Obviously there will be an adjustment period, and probably a few tantrums, but once they get used to the rule they should be fine with it. It should help that you are not preventing them from using their blankie for comfort if they need/want it, just restricting the use to a specific location (that hopefully will be boring enough they won't want to sit there for very long).

 

I'm in the same boat as you are. I have no problem with letting them have their loveys for a long time. They have their favorite blankets. I'm not sure if they've gotten to blanky levels, but they have ones they really like. They have loveys though. Cameron more so than Kiefer but they don't sleep without them. Cameron has a dolphin that he must have. He also has his Tigger lovey he likes to have around, but is on his way to separating himself from it. He's starting to want this 6' stuffed snake (a hand-me-down from my brother to me...then to the boys), but he so far does need to have his dolphin with him in bed and at school for naps. The snake has made it's way in to his bed at night to protect him from the monsters. Kiefer has a Pooh bear lovey he is still attached to. For a little while, he had switched to a deer that I had as a child and handed them down to the boys. He still sleeps with her and pooh bear, but at school, he switches between the deer and his pooh bear.

DH thinks they should not have their loveys and blankets for much longer. I see nothing wrong with them having them as long as they want as long as they don't interfere with their relationships and ability to make friends. They don't usually have them around the house, but when they are not feeling well or just having a needy day, they will carry the stuff around the house. Usually they just want their loveys and blankets on the couch downstairs for easy comforting purposes, but they don't leave the couch...their choice.

 

I will be the Mum who sews a special pocket in the bottom of my boys' hockey bags so they can put their stuffies in them for hockey camp and no one but themselves will know they are there.

Why take it away? you have the foundation - not taking it elsewhere etc - so that it can't get lost - therefore, if its missing it HAS to be in the house somewhere. My entire family has stuffies. All 7 of us.

 

I would think it would be strange NOT to have a comfort item at this age. Seems totally normal to me. I agree with leaving it at home though. I know I left my blankie on a ride at Disneyland when I was a toddler and it was a big crisis.

 

When I was pg, my sil crocheted two blankets for them and they have had them ever since. When they turned 3 and I got them toddler beds, I thought it would be a good time to get rid of them. That did not work and they still have them at almost 3 1/2. They use them in bed and also when watching tv. They never leave the house unless we go camping or I know we will be coming home much later than their bedtime. My boys rarely sleep in the car and sometimes I can get them to fall asleep if they have them.

They had a MAJOR meltdown yesterday because my one DS vomited in the middle of the night and I had to wash them. One of the longest hours of my life. :drown:

ETA: I don't know when we'll get rid of them. Right now I don't see what the big deal is.