How Is Everyone

I am hoping things are silent because everyone is having a great week, found a new love, won the lottery, etc...
The girls returned home from their dad's wedding in good shape.....they have been fixated on me & their dad getting back together but I am handling it & they are asking less & less frequently. David & I are doing great...I adore him & he treats me like gold.....only dark cloud...still no job. How are all of you???

 

Tired. It's been a week and a half since james' accident. Taking care of all three of them is wearing me out

 

Hang in there! I am glad he is going to be OK! You have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders....I hope, after this, you have a long run of good luck! Hugs to you!

 

As you may have gathered from my status message, I am feeling extremely discouraged. THis may be long as I dont come here and write very often, maybe I should it may help me feel better about this whole mess.

The boys did not go to their father's for Easter as the court order states that in order for them to go, he has to make an effort to visit them here. Those papers were drawn up on Dec 3rd, he has YET to see them. Last time he saw them was in September, around the 11th. I was expecting a huge blow up from him, name calling, yelling, cops at my door, and nothing, it was very quiet, surreal really as it is so out of character for him. The he calls on Easter Sunday to speak to Donevan, he telle Donevan that he has stuff for him that the Easter bunny left, but he has to go to Daddy's to get it. How is that fair to a 3 yr old child? I was so angry that he would even say that, but honestly I really should not have been surprised. Wednesday's are his day to call, he is suppose to call between 8-9 am, as Donevan goes to daycare on Wednesdays. He calls at 10:30, of course no one was home, as on daycare days I do all my running around as it's easier with just the twins. I didnt call him back because Donevan wasn't home. He then calls again at 5:15 PRIME supper time, where everything is crazy because I have class on Wednesdays, the boys are crying to eat, Donevan is all hyper because he doesnt nap at daycare, it is just complete chaos. I didnt answer the phone, I have told him NUMEROUS times that it is not a good time to call and he should stick to the times specified in the order. He called again today, I was out with the boys, so he left a really snotty message about how if I miss a call I am suppose to call him back. Well he NEVER called between the times he was suppose to call, so do I really have to call him back? He only calls when it is convenient for him, not me and the kids. The reason I asked for him to call between 8-9 am is because it's a easy time, the kids are up and fed and happily playing, so there is no screaming and crying etc. ANyway I decided to be the bigger person and I called him so he could talk to Donevan, well the first sentence out of his mouth, Daddy has stuff for you here, but oyu have to come and get it. I saw red, I was so angry. So I told Donevan to ask Daddy when he was going to come and visit. OF course he totally ig nored the question. So my new rule for phone calls is as soon as he starts with that crap, I terminate the call, no warning. It is NOT fair to my son to be told he has gifts but can't have them because he has to go to daddy's to get them. I know that he is going to be asking to take them for the week he is entiteled to over summer soon. It goes against every part of my being to send them off. He hasnt seen them in 8 months, the twins who are almost 17 months have no clue who he is, and he NEVER asks about them, it's like they do not exist to him. It kills me that I have to send them, if I dont I am in contempt of my court order. I am so upset about this whole situation.

Then there is the money aspect. I havent been getting a child tax benefit because he hasnt filed taxes in over 8 yrs. They need his income information to properly assess me to see how much I am entitled too, and they will not pay out until he files. That is almost $800 a month I am not getting. Adding to that, his wages are garnished for Child Support HOWEVER his employer submits the wages whenever he feels like it, so I never know when I am going to get a chekc. I never got on for April, so this month all I had to work with was $464. I am trying to go back to school so that I can get a better job and be able t support my kids better, but I really dont know if I can afford too at this point. I feel completely screwed and beated down by the system. I have started the paperwork to take him back to court, but I have NO idea who long that will even take. I have never felt so helpless before.

Sorry so long.

 

Its been an up and down week or so for me. I have been feeling okay, but I'm feeling just a bit off.

My jeep is on its last leg...and that leg is broken. Its got a rejection sticker on it, and the new mechanic I hired has said its not worth fixing it. It would cost me more than its worth. So now I'm looking for a new set of wheels, with little money to fund it. Right now I'm trying to find a loaner for the next week or so. Just until I can get the new one financed (which may not happen since I owe so much on Andrea's student loans).

My love life hasn't changed...big surprise there. The girls have been okay. Cassie is going to be starting therapy for possible bipolar disorder, as well as we are trying to get her tested at school for some learning disorders that might be contributing to what we are dealing with with her.

Andrea graduates in 3 weeks....I am proud of her. She is dealing with some medical issues, and so far so good.

I decided to start my own photography business and am getting the wheels moving on this. One baby step at a time. Soon I hope it will be something I can use for extra money. We'll see.

 

I am so sorry you are going through all this miserable stuff! I can totally understand why you are angry & why you don't want your kids to go with a near stranger. I will keep you in my thoughts & I hope your X mans up & starts putting the wellbeing of his children ahead of his own selfish desires. I hope you find a career direction that is achievable, meaningful to you & that will provide you with the means to care for your boys no matter what their father does. :youcandoit:

 

I am sending my best wishes & highest hopes for your photography business...I hope it turns into a profitable, satisfying sideline. About the car....crap! Car problems are the worst! I am so sorry & I hope you are able to get financing for another vehicle....I dread the day when my Pilot breaks down!

Congrats to Andrea...& kudos to you for getting her through! I wish you the very best....what is her plan for a career? I hope her health issues subside & she can start her new life whole, well & happy!

I hope you can get some help for Cassie's issues....poor baby...I hope the therapy is a big help.

Molly....you stay so positive & persevere when most people would fall into a black hole...you amaze me! Don't give up on love....I did, felt fine about, was happy with the thought.....then someone just appeared... If it can happen for me.....not looking & shut off from the possibility...it can happen for you.

 

Here is my extended version, keeping it real, update on my life. I have three things going on that are causing change, requiring decisions, etc.

First....I am getting hungry for a job. I achieved my certification to teach K-6th grade...but the budget was cut & there are hiring freezes everywhere....3 local school districts laid off teachers for next year. Since my only experience is substitute teaching & there are hundreds of teachers back on the market....it ain't looking good. I won't have substitute opportunities over the summer & I can no longer work on the weekends (as far as I know) I am going to run through my savings by the end of the summer....I am getting a little panicky.

Second....my XH got married 2 weeks ago. The girls flew to CA to be in the wedding. XH married another pediatrician with her own practice in CA. It is my assumption that XH will live in CA with his wife...I know he left his job in TX & has been seeing patients in her practice in Anaheim (I learn alot through conversations with her XH). But he took his house here in town off the market mid-contract...& he is coming back to town this weekend.....he has only been back in CA since April 23...why is he back so soon. How is it that I have no idea where my girls' dad lives, where he works & what his plans for visitation is now that he moved 1400 miles away? It is also concerning that his new wife took her XH back to court today to ask that his visitation be suspended because she thinks he is angry & depressed.....her XH told me "heck yes I am mad....she cheated on me, tricked me into buying her a new house so she could live in it with her lover & she gives me horrible grief about seeing my kids." He claims he is not depressed....he is a doctor as well....he says he just wants to see his kids more than 5 days a month....he says she is trying to erase him & start a new family with my X...he warns me they will be coming after my girls as well. Over my dead body...the man never, ever calls, visits infrequently & moved 1400 miles away....

Third....ladies...I am in L-O-V-E. I was averse to the possibility of ever allowing a man into my life....& more importantly into my girls lives. I worried over this man...I let fear filter things he said & I worried over every little thing. Even though he has been nothing but kind, gentle & generous with my girls & me....I created things to worry about. I prayed direction & guidance....& I discovered....he is a wonderful man. We have been together for 9 months now...things are wonderful! He has vowed to treat the girls gently, with grace for their missteps, no expressed anger, harshness or raised voice. He has vowed to support them financially, protect them, & build a relationship with them. He is so good to me....devoted, romantic, generous.....I am very lucky to have him. He is away for his guys golf week in Myrtle Beach so we are keeping in contact via text & short phone calls.....I miss him! He is flying the girls & I to Florida for their birthday week....we are having their birthday party at his house on the lake.....jetskiing, skiing, Hawaiin Luau Hula Girl Monkey party All my family will be there...it should be great fun!

So...you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both & there you have....the Facts of Life !

 

Looks like all of us have LOTS going on!

Angelsmom I wish you the best in your photography biz, have you started a FB gfan pg? That can help spread the word. Congrats on Andrea's graduation.

twinexsmom I am glad that he was not seriously hurt. Hopefully he'll be up and around soon so that you can relax a little.

BellaRissa I am happy to hear that your relationship is going so well. I hope that your ex and the new wife dont make too many waves for you concerning the girls.


I am meeting wth a lawyer this afternoon. I will see what they have to say about my situation.

 

Slipper....how did things go with your attorney? I hope things are looking up!

 

Thanks for asking! The attorney I met with is going to put in a recommendation to legal aid that I need to return to court to address several issues with my ex. Ultimately it is up to legal aid as they are the ones that will pay for my lawyer. It takes 6-8 weeks to get an answer, so now it is just a waiting game.