My girls have been very difficult lately (not surprising because they are 20 months!) and I feel as though any time I need them to do something, I must bribe them. I bribe them to get into their carseats, to come inside, to get dressed, to put their shoes on, to get into the cart, etc. I've been reading 1-2-3 Magic, but I feel like the girls are a little too young for this concept and I need to wait until they are 2. Does anyone have any advice? TIA!
What are you bribing them with? If you are constantly using candy or sweets, then I can see it becoming a problem. But if it's more "please come in the house and we'll get some juice", or "if you sit nice in the carseat you can have a snack", then I do that ALL the time! :lol: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, especially when there is 2 of them. I have been known to turn the dvd player on in the truck, just to get them to sit nice for a 5 min drive into town! :FIFblush:
If it works, do it. I do and my kids are fairly well adjusted. As they get older your techniques change and kids are usually intellegent enough to adjust and cope. They only time I think it is an issue is if they are constantly using your bribery to control the situation. If so, stand your ground. Kids are kids and you are the adult, therefore ... the controller of their universe (Mwaa ha ha) Good luck.
I'm finding myself doing that too... not with sweets though. Usually, I have to threaten going up to bed alone. That stops the behavior.
In my opinion I don't really think you have to call it bribing =).. actually if...then statements are very effective way to let your kiddos feel a bit of empowerment and are very effective behavior strategies.. as in.. "if you make the choice to come inside, then you can do X..." This is totally like the pot calling the kettle black because I have 12 month old DD's and I'm at a loss with the craziness =) I work with children with very challenging behaviors for my job and I'm finding that it is so much easier to tell another parent how to manage behavior than to do it yourself with your own kids =) Anyway... I wonder if you might try not necessarily tempting them, but giving them choices.. like "if you come inside, you can either go play in the playroom or you can have some lunch".. they make the choice.. or just giving them the information about what will happen next might be effective.. some moments......... (haha) as in... "when you come inside we will have lunch, lay down for a nap, and then you and mommy will go for a walk!".. hey it's worth a shot!
I guess I don't think of it as bribery, either, unless you are just offering stuff that is unhealthy or addictive (TV or candy). I figure I like to know what's next, so I tell mine, "Let's go downstairs and have medicine and breakfast". It's not like their medicine tastes good nor do they think they are getting a chocolate croissant for breakfast so it's just information in my book. I like to look forward and anticipate what's coming next and I know toddlers in particular have transition issues. I think it helps as it gives mine a reason to comply. Obviously I don't do it if they are running for the road, but if they are fussy and I'm trying to get out of the house I'll ask if they want to go bye-bye and say "we have to put on our shoes".
me too! I thought I would "treat" them last week with stickers when they did what I wanted... Oh My Goodness!! it's sort of been a disaster. #1 if you do stickers I totally recommend getting several sheets of just one design! I have sheets of smiley faces, but there are 5 different colors! and now the kids want to "pick" their specific sticker... if this doesn't get better in a few days I'm gonna abandon the stickers!! I'm always thinking to myself... "this doesn't have to be so hard"... why can't they just come when i say "time for story time" or "time to get in the car" etc. UGH!
Oh my gosh - the pont where they can understand if/then is the point where parenting gets SO MUCH easier! It's a great sign of progress, not a problem. You sound like you are doing just fine
I don't call it "bribery", I call it "distraction"! Sometimes you just have to get their minds off of what they *don't* want to do by offering them something they *do* want to do! :good:
Even a simple bribe like, "Get into your carseat and we can take off your shoes!" Or "Get into your stroller so we can go slide!" I am lucky that they are just as easily bribed by oranges and blueberries as any sweet (probably more so). They also have started calling yogurt "ice cream" so I am okay with that too I'm glad I'm not the only one! Sometimes I feel like I am in constant debate with two toddlers!
