Discipline Techniques

Leah is 6.5 and the boys are almost 4.5 YO. We still do time outs, but they are becoming less and less effective. I have started taking away their DS's, tv, etc... What are some discipline tactics that work for you and your family? :help:

 

I would definitely say loss of privileges is a big one. It can be anything from extra reading time before they have to turn the lights out to losing Wii privileges.

They also get to go sit on their beds for a few minutes when we need to regroup and change an attitude.

Marissa

 

I recently started following the Positive Discipline techniques promoted by Save the Children.

You can download their publication on it.

So far I've been very happy with the results.

 

We are in the same boat.

Time outs still work for us; however, I am noticing that TO seem to be losing their effect.

We have started to take away privileges also.

And as awful as it sounds, I'll use money as a vice. :blush: I'll threaten that they'll need to pay me a quarter if (fill in the blank).

 

That's awesome! What if they don't have the money? :unsure: IOU?


My son is okay with TO's, still work but with Angie I've started taking away her TV privileges. :good:

 

Too much work to get an IOU notarized. j/k


They have money in their piggy banks which are sacred to them.

 

Loss of DS, computer time, wii time. We have never really had to go beyond the DS for Jon, and Marcus has never lost anything.

 

For my 6 year olds, time-outs are no longer a punishment, so I use it only as an opportunity for them to calm themselves. If it's something like foul language, we have a "fine" and I collect a quarter every time the boys use inappropriate language. If it's something more serious or a recurring problem (like sibling conflicts), we try to talk through the problems and come up with a solution that everyone can agree on. We also talk about what the punishment should be if the problem happens again, and write it down. When kids take part in deciding the punishment, I think the lesson sinks in better and the kids don't complain when it actually happens to them.

 

We use probably every discipline method there is, at different times, with different kids, and for different offenses. Mostly we use extra chores, tomato-staking, and essays. Sometimes loss of privileges, but that's usually for the older kids and that's pretty rare.

 

Ian generally gets sent to his room

 

we take things away but when that doesn't work with the older boys or seems overdone at the time I move on to:

The dreaded copy a page from the dictionary. Oh they HATE it!! I used the childrens dictionary when they were younger . Not only do they have to copy the entire page by hand but they have to be ready to give me definition of which ever words I choose from the page. They know not even bother handing me the copy until they feel at least half way ready to give me a few definitions.

 

To me, a consequence has to make a point...be painful to make that point sink in. So, loss of a priviledge is generally what happens...whether it's tv, ds, going somewhere, whatever...it has to be something they really wanted (and, keep in mind, is almost always painful to you, too...because it's not fun for us to have them lose those things, either).

It depends on the offense, though. This morning my 7 year old left for school without doing his chore (this weeks morning chore for him is unloading the dishwasher), so he will have to do a couple extra chores after school before he can have priviledges to make up for that. Not that big of a deal, but still a little reminder to take care of your responsibilities. When someone is being mean to a sibling, they sometimes have to do that child's chore, or do something extra nice to that child to make up for it. Sometimes they have to sit and write 25 great things about that sibling. And they have to be "real" things, not just made up things...and if they can't write, I make them say them to me and we tally them.

Coming up with what works for each different child is not an easy job.

 

Time outs don't work here anymore either. They work for Jake (but he's almost 3), the other 3 kids, it's kind of a joke. Loss of playtime with a friend is a big one. It's usually for something big, but I'll tell them they are not allowed to play the next time a friend calls for a playdate.

 

I love this one Heather! I'm totally going to use this one!

 

Thanks for this -- I've been looking for something like that.

We never really did TOs in a formal way. At the moment, I generally also do loss of privileges (especially TV time). I try to make the consequence fit the crime. If one grabs something away from the other, they lose their access to that thing for a day. If they don't clean up their toys at bedtime, I put the toys in a garbage bag in my closet for a day or two.

We don't really do consequences for bad language, being mean, etc. except that the person has to apologize (which is hard enough) and we talk about what happened and how it could go better next time. And of course if someone makes a mess on purpose, she has to clean it up.

Amy does get sent to her room a lot but it's not exactly a time-out -- more of a "You are out of control and need to calm down before we can discuss this." I also sometimes take time-outs from her, if she's done/said something mean to me. To her, me walking away is a worse consequence than anything else I could come up with. Then, when we've both calmed down a little, I go back and we snuggle and talk about it.

 

Great suggestions. Thank you all!!

 

Thank you for this! I took a positive discipline class and it was one of the best I've ever taken.