Normal 3 year old behavior?

Hey All,
I thought Id write a short note before I lose my mind!
Its been a very challenging time at our house lately. Im having a difficult time with Everett. I dont know if this is normal 3 year old behavior or what I can do to help things. Hoping you all have some ideas or can at least pray for my sanity LOL
Everett is staying up much later than everyone else (10ish), getting up earlier than everyone else (7am), napping less than everyone else (maybe 45 min) and he is constantly into things or being mischievous.

Last week he opened 17 boxes of nerds and had them spread across the carpet like confetti (while I was sleeping).
Then while our whole family was sleeping on Wednesday he pulled the step stool down (that I had on top of our island) used it to climb on the kitchen counter and get into the highest shelf we have. he then preceded to dose him and Kennedy with vitamins, tylenol, and benadryl. We called poision control and of course they were both fine but its like he doesnt slow down.
Am supposed to sleep 11-6am and get up and wait for him? I dont understand why he dosent wake me or why he doesnt find a quiet activity to do.


Today we were all in the living room together, he said he needed to go potty and dashed off to the bathroom. Next thing I know Macey is screaming and Everett is giggling hysterically because he took one of the ABC letter blocks and flushed it down the toilet.

Ive told myself he needs more exercise etc. so we are going outside everyday. We have a trampoline indoors, we're taking swim lessons, we're going to friends houses etc. Its not like we arent doing things. The other day I asked him to play toys so I could get the dishes done and he refused. I had to babygate him in a room where he screamed for 10 minutes so I could do a load of dishes and know that he was safe and wasnt misbehaving or exploring as some call it.

How do I get a kid to play with blocks? or dresss up clothes? truck? books? ANYTHING. Im constantly following around to see what he's getting into next. How long should they be able to play alone?

What am I doing wrong here? I cant wait for preschool. Im ready to send him full day 5 days a week now just so he has constant activities, interaction, stimulation etc. He's wearing me down quickly.

I know he's definitly on the bright side of the spectrum our pediatrician told us that at our 3 year check. Is he gifted? is he adhd or maybe he's just normal and I had no idea this was what 3 year old boys were like!

This kid talks all day too. I literally have to take a deep breathe and ask him to stop talking ot me so I can have 30 seconds to have a thought!

Help please!

 

My DS talks from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed, so that sounds perfectly normal to me.
It sounds to me like you have an active and curious 3 year old. Plus what he is getting into is getting him extra attention from you. Reading about your DS reminds me a lot of what my mother tells about my oldest brother and his toddler years. I really don't think you are doing anything wrong. I would just make sure that whatever you don't want him to get into is in a place where there is no possibility he can get into it. If you have a lock on your closet and have to put the candy and medicine in there just to keep him away from it, I would do it.
Do you have a tot clock or a night light that changes colors? If you do, I would start telling him that when the light is blue he is to stay in bed unless he needs to use the potty and when the light turns yellow (or whatever bright color) that is the time he is to get up for the day or for nap time. When either one of my kids takes a short nap or no nap at all, I will still have them do quiet time where they can read a book or play with toys quietly by themselves. Or when he is up early from nap, take a pillow and blanket and maybe put a movie on for him.
I have a challenging 3 year old boy too, so I feel your pain :hug:

 

he may be outgrowing his nap - mine started napping less at that age..and as a result is sleeping less at night....can you try to just do quiet time (movie, TV show etc) during that time? as for the exploring and naughtiness well - that sort of comes with the territory...

 

I'd definitely get rid of the nap. My oldest DS quit napping right at 3 because he began staying up until 10:00 or 11:00 on the days he napped. :faint: We had a "quiet time" instead where he played quietly in his room.

It sounds like Everett is enjoying the attention he gets from pulling off some of his "tricks". :hug: I can't imagine how crazy you must feel. I have never had kids who "get into thing" but I know I have heard plenty of horror stories about other 3 year olds and their misadventures.

Can you lock him in his bedroom during the times of day that he should be sleeping - especially night, when you are all sleeping? I would also get locks for all cabinets and drawers that he has no business in. Does he play independently at all? Doe he have favorite toys that he enjoys? :hug: I wish I had some good advice for you. :hug: Have you talked with his pediatrician about it?

 

I agree with the others, the talking non stop is pretty typical (my 9 yr old STILL talks nonstop, there have been times on the weekend that I just ask him to go play in his room so I can get a break from his chatter ). But both my older kids gave up their nap at 2.5, I can already see the twins nap's decreasing in length lately so they will probably give them up this summer.

And ditto "locking" him in his room at night for sure, especially if he's getting into things. I have heard of people putting 2 baby gates in the kids doorway, one on top of the other, so their kids can't get out/over them. And absolutely lock up anything that is remotely dangerous, even if you have to padlock it in a cabinet.

3 yr old's are challenging, some more challenging than others :hug:

 

If getting into things means a child is gifted then I must have a couple of Einsteins. :lol: I'm joking, of course. I am also counting down the days until preschool starts! I don't have any solutions, my girls have been getting into things all the time since the baby was born. I think it has to do with them wanting more attention, so maybe that is the case with Everett too. I'd try spending more one-on-one time with Everett and see if that helps.

 

In the Love and Logic book, I think that it says something about boys responding to physical labor punishments the best. So, for my kids, if they spill something, they have to pick it up. If they don't, then I take their hand, and get them started. I'm not mean or super serious about it. I just keep repeating in a neutral voice "you spilled the water, so now you clean it up" Usually after 30 seconds, they get the idea I'm not going to let them out of it, and they work on it by themselves.

The Tot Clock light might be a good idea too.

 

Lol, I used to make my boys (I'm thinking ages 4+) either run laps of the back yard or do push-ups (if it was raining) as punishment. They always did really well on their President's PF Testing because they had such good form on their push-ups. And my oldest is now a PT overmaxer in the army--he can do push-ups all day long. :spiteful:

 

definitely locking his door or a gate that he can't get out of to keep he and your household items safe. I need to get a locking cabinets for vitamins and meds... right now I do have them in an upper cabinets, but at least there isn't a counter to crawl on so for now I think I'm ok... but where there's a will there's a way.

one fun way for my kids to calm down is to watch a cute kids yoga video, there are other exercise ones too... I figure at least they are following the instructions and actually getting physical activity... and I can actually get dinner started in those 20 min!

good luck!

 

he can open all locks. The only thing we haven't tried yet is that Magnetic Tot lock. Anyone have success with that?
We even had to put additional bolts on the front/back door 6" from the top because he was just going outside as he pleased.
He gets extended one on one attention at least a few times a week. We also only have childcare approx 4-6 hours a week otherwise he is always with my husband or I.

We did try locking him in his room. It resulted in him waking several times during the night and having a complete screaming meltdown each time he realized the door was locked. Id have to get up, calm him down, wait for him to sleep then lock it again. Sigh.

I love my little boy but man on man its tough. Nice to know Im not alone.

 

Honestly, you may have to go with letting him cry. It is unpleasant, but safer than letting him roam at night/early morning.

I would try the magnetic Tot lock too--- we have not used it, but my friend did for her 'curious' little guy that got into everything!

I would also see if he stops napping--- will he go to bed earlier?

 

I would lock up all the stuff you don't want him getting into and leave many cabinets with very boring things. Do you have floor puzzles for him? You could hide them in a cabinet for him to find and see if he would put them together. You could also try legos, blocks and other building things that are good for keeping little boys busy. You don't need to buy new, just hide some of his own toys (train track will work also) and let him find it. Good luck, he sounds very active.

 

Definitely get rid of the nap. That should help with him going to sleep earlier. Personally I would never go to sleep if I knew one of my children was still awake. He also sounds a lot like my Dd was (who does have ADHD). My twins have not been anywhere near as difficult as she was and still is. I feel for you, it sounds like he is quite a handful. I hope you can figure out something that will keep him safe and let you relax some more at the same time. :hug:

 

I agree with PP, you might just have to let him cry when he realizes his door is locked. Crying is definitely better than dosing himself with medications or hurting himself some other way. I would speak with his doctor as well, just in case he/she has some advice or can refer you to someone who does.

How is his speech? How are his other developmental milestones? :hug:

 

Jori- very much ahead when I went for his 3 year check he can do everything that a 4 & 5 year old can with the exception being write his name. He is excelling in all areas. His pedi said he's on the far end of the spectrum and all I can do is just keep talking- working with him... Thanks for all your support!!

 

as for the magnetic tot lock, are you thinking of doing that for cabinets? I think its a cabinet lock... yes, we have that on some of our cabinets, and we hide the magnetic handle part. Its pretty complicated in that you have to hover it over the specific spot and you can make it so that there isn't an indication where that spot is... and then you have to hover and pull the door open at the same time. anyway, if you are trying to lock up meds, I would almost say to get some other specific locking medicine cabinet style thing... or other locking box... that might be safer?

good luck. the idea of hiding his toys was a neat one!! keep his imagination going!

 

You've gotten some great advice and I have to totally agree with locking him in his room and just letting him cry. It will be tough to listen to but it's so much better then worrying about what he'll get into next.

My oldest gets into a lot of trouble when he's bored, he has to keep his mind busy... Does he have access to a computer? It might be worth finding him a couple online (educational or not) games for him to play. It will help keep him busy and learning, yet in one spot.

Good luck!

 

We had our kids waking up in the night and we cut out chocolate milk which was started by my mom. HUGE difference !!!!! sleep all night long now. you mentioned Nerds which made me mention it. You could try cutting out juice, candy, chocolate milk, cookies, etc. and do that for two weeks. It couldn't hurt. My one daughter gets into mischief as well it seems to be her goal in life. We have a gate on the stairs but they come into our room at night if they wake up. I have a lock on their door just ready if she attempts to roam. We have locks on EVERY door in our house. you might want to make sure your knives are put away as well.

Heather

 

jess, i have tendonitis and cna't write much but the positive discipline (jane nelson) books have totally saved my family. get the first one and then the one for preschoolers. it's a big change for most people but a wonderful way of relating to your kids and helping them calm down when you want to lose your top. i'll look for a little summary and send it to you. one of my lo's is similar (extremely physically and mentally capable but socially a bit immature, w/a some serious impulse control issues) and i'm sure my hubby or i would have gone nuts by now if we hadn't learned a lot of new ways to relate to him.

best!

 

I haven't read the other replies, but DS is that way too. They have a knob cover inside their bedroom or he would be up at 7am destroying the house too. I would never let him roam free... I can't even do laundry most days. I'd buy a door lock if I had to. We baby proof as much as possible and leave everything dangerous out of reach (or try to), meaning we can't leave anything on the kitchen counters either, as he climbs on toys to get them. It's not too bad as long as we're careful, although he still gets into stuff... We have knob covers on all the doors upstairs as well, and on the bathrooms downstairs.

 

Jeri Lynn- that sounds great! sorry to hear of your tenonitis. I think you parent a lot like I do so Im interested in the read for sure!

He figured out the door knob covers sometime last year We've started taking the step stool to bed with us at night. We locked the fridge and re-located our medicine. We have chain locks 6" from the top of the doors leading out of the house.
we've been getting him outside more and spending more one on one time with him. that seems to be doing the trick. Im pretty sure his brain is exploding right now and as long as my hubby & I keep teaching him new things every hour we're doing OK LOL
Thanks again for all the replies!

 

Jess,

I'm not sure if it's the same Positive Disapline or not but I put up a link in the 5-11 forum for a pdf book from Save the Children on positive disapline--I've had good results with it, but my behavior problems have been more along the lines of lack of action rather than too much action. (Dwadling dwadling dwadling)

Unfortunately I also think the nonstop talking thing is normal. BOTH my girls start talking the moment they wake up and keep talking until they fall asleep and have been doing so for several years now.

Like that video of the twin boys talking that went around last week, cute when they are babies, but boy it sure does get old soon after that!

 

I agree with a pp ... I'd try skipping his nap (tragic, I know) but it may help him sleep better at night and get up later in the AM. My girls don't nap anymore (3.5 yrs old) and stopped several months ago. They would have continued but they were carrying on until 11 or ever 12 some nights ... so i dropped the nap and it is hard ... H-A-R-D because they chit chat at me all. day. long. and make demands all. day. long. BUT they CRASH at night! Sometimes I will go right back in to turn on a monitor receiver or something ... like one minute later ... and she will already be fast asleep ... when they were napping it took them hours to go to sleep. Also, we split their rooms and that helps. That may at least give you the downtime at night. Mine call for me in the AMs or they sometimes will go in each other's rooms. They are on a 3rd floor loft ... two bedrooms with a playroom between them and I have them babygated up there ... mainly bc I fear them trying to get to me in the middle of the night and falling down the stairs ... but they never come into my room even if we forget to close the gate. Can you put a monitor in his room ( if he does not still have one) and tell him to call for you when he is up ... and sounds cruel, I know ... but maybe gate him or even lock him in there ... for HIS safety? He sounds a lot like my nephew ... and he would even leave the house sometimes! Go over to the neighbors ... at like TWO years old! they put a slide lock on the TOP of their front door and he would pile up three step stools or books or whatever he could get ... kitchen chairs ... and climb up and open the lock and out he would go. My sister has a whole photo file of "Landon's messes" ... one of a whole LARGE carton of goldfish that he got out of the LOCKED snack cabinet (he found the key that she thought she had hidden well) and he and his buddy dumped it all over the family room floor then proceeded to jump on top of them so they were mashed into smithereens into the carpet ... all while she was upstairs trying to fold a load of laundry. Anyway, I would make sure he had books and etc to entertain him in the AMs and a monitor so you can hear him if he calls for you and lock him in his room at night ... all that medicine! Yikes! My husband is an anesthesiologist so medications are his life and he says a kid can easily kill himself by taking a whole bottle of tylenol ... he won't let me have it anywhere near where they can get it ... won't even let the baby play with an empty bottle of it for fear that she will think it is OK to have if she ever happened upon a full one! Would he have the attention span to get into a DS or something ... an iPad?? Maybe that would be something interesting and challenging enough to keep his attention for some "downtime" for you ... yikes ... I am lucky that my girls challenge me with emotional battles sometimes all day long but they are pretty good other than that. Good luck to you ... I think my nephew (who is now 6) got a lot better around 4 and even better and better ... she said 3 was really hard with him. He is a funny kid and creative and has the capacity to be really sweet ... just a little cupcake baked by the devil!