twins being very clingly; dh thinks it is my fault

My 14 month old twins always want me to hold them and sit with them. If I hold one, the other clings to my leg crying. If I am around, they don't want anyone else to touch them, including DH. However, if I am not there, they are apparently much happier overall. My DH thinks I am doing something to make them clingy and whiny (my words, not his - he just sort of implies this by his looks and sighs). I can understand how rejected he must feel when I am there. He and I both work the same hours, so we spend the exact same amount of time with the kids.

 

That's just the way it is at this age. My girls are 15 months and they have become incredibly clingy and whiny little girls when I'm around. My husband actually gets more time with them, as he teaches and is able to see them at 3:30 every afternoon (whereas I get home closer to 5:45). I know it hurts my husband's feelings too.

Per my best friend (whose girls are older than mine) when they turn 2 or 3 they will go through an opposite phase where all they want it their daddy. It's almost as if, with gained independence, they enjoy "choosing" their favorite person.

And I'm sure that when they're teenagers they'll hate both of us.

It's nothing you did or can control, so enjoy it while it lasts!

 

We still deal with this and my boys are 3 years 2 months, it has gotten a bit better over the last month or so. But they still are very clingy when I am home. It is much different when I am not home and my DH or the grandparents are with them alone. It is what it is. I just think it goes with the mommy-child relationship! You have to take the good with the bad, I guess! :laughing: :hug: Hang in there!

 

Totally a phase, completely normal, and it will get better. I found 13-16 months to be the clingiest, most annoying age! Mine still are all over me and treat DH like chopped liver when I have worked a lot, but the whining, crying and tantrums have gotten much better.

 

:wavey: Both of mine have viruses and are throwing up this week. They only want me to hold them. So I have 2 babies barfing everywhere on me, themselves, etc. I think it's normal & I hope it passes soon!

 

It is totally the age. My boys are SO clingy and whiny with me, but when I'm not home, they are apparently wonderful and happy. And if I leave, or even dare walk across the room, look out! Our family room, dining room, and kitchen is all one open room, and most days right now I can't even walk into the kitchen without a crying fest. You are not doing ANYTHING to cause this. It is a normal part of separation anxiety at this age, and it will get better in time, and it is usually worse with their primary attachment figure/primary caregiver. You can tell your husband that a counselor in training told you this - I just did a whole presentation on this for my Growth and Development class!!

 

You cannot imagine how happy I am to have read this! I'm sending the link to my DH right away!

 

my hubby still thinks that my youngest is such a momma's boy. If he'd spend a lot of time with him, I'm sure the sides would be turned. NO advice.. just feeling it too!

 

I'm so happy to read this. We're going through the exact same thing at our house right now. DS cries if I even walk a few steps away.

 

Oh my goodness!!! At that age, my two were attached to my sides they wanted NO one else EVER and if I had to leave They SCREAMED the whole time. They did not want any one else to even LOOK at them LOL!! Not even daddy. When they were 18 months old, daddy had to go away for a year for work, we saw him very little that year it set them back even farther. They are 4 now and are way better but ESP. Ava prefers me unless daddy is just outside and she knows I am in the house and not leaving.
I breastfed the girls dh thinks that is why they are so attached to me???

 

I don't know that you can pin it on that. My boys were 100% bottle-fed, and they still are very clingy with me. Sometimes they cry when DH leaves for work, but usually they just calmly watch him go, but me, I can't even walk a few feet away. They love him, playing with him, etc., but they definitely more attached to me - probably because I am home most of the time except when I go to my two classes or my mom or MIL watches the boys so I can get out a bit.

 

My twins are 17 months and I have gone through this too (same with my 3yr old). It goes in phases but it is most difficult when the twins are in an exceptionally clingy mood, and only want me, and then they freak out when I try to hold both of them. Each wants me all to themself. And, when they get sick it just gets worse. Everyone who I have talked to who is an "experienced mom" just tells me that is the way kids are and there are times that only mommy will do. My hubby just recognizes that this is part of what kids do but he gets frustrated that he isn't 'mom' and can't comfort them too.