To binky or not to binky after 12 (ok 13) months...

Did you wean your twins off binkies? If so, when? How? And why?

I've been struggling with this since they were 4 months old. I don't like the idea of them using the binkies all the time - but they are SOOOOOO effective at keeping them happy/calm/asleep. I fear if I don't wean them soon, it'll be too late and I'll have 3 or 4 year olds with binkies... Which no one likes to see...

For now, the girls are very addicted to them - they don't need them all the time, but if they are fussy (lets face it, 13 month olds can be pretty darn fussy) it calms them right down. And I don't think they'd be able to fall asleep without them (without a CIO type scenario involved).

Curious as to your stories. Thanks!

 

I kept them until they were two and a half.

In your particular case, I would definitely keep them, because you'll have a tool that might help them be happier/calm/placate them when you're dealing with the new babies. And if I saw a lady with four kids under two with binkies, I wouldn't think a second thought about the binkies, I would be in shock at how you managed to get out of the house with four under two. :shok:

 

My girls used their paci's until they were 22 months. If I were you I wouldn't get rid of them if they work. When I wanted them gone we went cold turkey. The girls asked for them for about 2 days and then forgot about them. It wasn't as bad as I feared.

 

My twins are close to the same age as yours & they love their pacis, especially at night & when riding in the car. I take them away when they're just playing & hanging out so that they can talk. Right now, though, I don't mind them having the pacis as a means of comfort when upset or sleeping. If it works, it works. I see no immediate need to change things. When they're a little older and better able to understand to concept of giving up the paci, then I'll take it away. That won't happen for several more months, though.

 

Around that age, I started restricting them to only nights and naps (maybe more like 18 months). DD gave them up easily around 25 months. DS still has one at night for falling asleep. I made a decision that pacis were just not something I was going to worry about. My pedi said don't worry until two and then at two wasn't concerned with the nighttime use. I'd keep them if I were you.

 

Beks I'm not planning on leaving the house from June 2011 thru June 2013...

 

My girls have a special bowl, that they put their pacis in when they wake up, it became part of the routine, and they know that they need to put them away when they get out of your crib, this also helps the bedtime scramble to find paci's, somehow even with this in place, the more addicted one, will sometimes go and find a dropped paci, and walk around with that, until i get around to making her put it away.

That being said, I would definely hold on to them until after your new babies are born.

 

One of my girls (21 months old) still uses a paci at night and during naps at home. Occasionally, I'll let her have it at other times when she's sick. I have no intention of trying to break her of the habit until she's old enough to understand why she's too old for a paci, if that makes sense. I've heard of parents gathering all the pacis together and having the kid "trade" them for a toy at a toy store (with the store's cooperation and the parent's payment of cash under the counter, of course). I guess I plan to do something like that when the time comes. She uses it so little that I don't worry about it messing up her teeth or anything like that, and she does voluntarily surrender it each morning when it's time for breakfast. In fact, she carries it to the kitchen sink and throws it in.

 

I'd only get rid of them if they're causing problems. My guys were not sleeping because they'd throw the pacis out of their cribs and scream for us to get them. During the day they'd throw them out of the stroller and freak out if they couldn't have one... so many loud scenes. They'd fight over them and scream if they couldn't have one right this minute. So one day I just got rid of them cold turkey. Within a few days they'd more or less forgotten all about them, and there was really only 2 or 3 screaming episodes during those few days.

BUT! Had they been happily and calmly taking them for night time only, I probably would have kept them through college! :lol: They were magic at calming them down when they were small and I don't think I would have made it through the first year without them.

 

My girls still have theirs day and night. It was suggested to me recently that I try to reduce the amount they have them during the day as they are not talking at all yet but I can't take all the crying so they still have them (the person who suggested this does not have twins, lol ).

We just took Dannik's away (he's 3.5) and it has been hell. At 2 we made him keep them in his bed so he only had them for naps and nighttime. He is still waking up at night crying and it's been almost 2 months now.

After the reaction Dannik has had I have no idea when I'm going to take the girls away...I'm thinking I might just let them keep them until they go to college .

 

I only had one binki user at that age. Gradually restricting it's use was an effective and painless way for us to ease it out of our lives. She started daycare at 12 months and couldn't use it there (from 9am to 2pm). At first she had it in the car too and from, then we started leaving it at home so we cut out the commute next. Then it was only in her bed. She used it at night and naps and not waking hours. She started holding it in her hand to fall asleep with next (that was all on her own, I don't know why she did that). Then she stopped using it all together by 18months. I would have let her use it longer, but it just worked that way. I think a gradual wean is the way to go if you want to phase it out younger. After two, cold turkey might work better. The day care thing really worked well because it was external, not coming from me. I think if I had to do it again (my current baby refused a paci) I would definitely try to find something like that that required restrictions on the us. Obviously you aren't going to send a kid to daycare to get rid of the paci, but you could try to find a place you do go or a person you see that signals, no paci time. Like no paci at grandma's house--but going to grandma's is fun and exciting. Or no paci in the park, car, what ever.

 

Ditto and ditto. From 1 year I started gradually restricting use of the pacis so that by 18 months they only had them when sleeping. Then we had a special pot/cup, on a high shelf, for them to go in and they had to be put in before they got out of their cribs. After a week or two they would happily hand over the paci before putting their arms up to be lifted out of bed.

With the sleep time use only I don't see a problem with them keeping the pacis longer. Naomi and Luke had theirs until they were 3 and they made the decision to give them up on their own. They didn't have a single night of crying or disturbed sleep when they gave them up. Neither their doctor or their dentist had a problem with the night time use. Ethan still has his-he turns 2 tomorrow-and we have no plans of taking it away yet. I really don't believe that leaving it later makes it harder, I think if the child is ready it is much easier. As long as they are not having a negative impact (speech/teeth problems or constant fights/meltdowns like Jen described) there is no need to force the transition on them.

I certainly wouldn't take pacis away just before a major life change (new babies), it will be enough of an adjustment anyway.

 

I see no issue with it at all. My boys still have their pacis, although I have restricted them. They stay in the nursery after naps and in the morning when they get up. I will pick the boys up from their cribs and we'll walk over to the bookshelf where I'll take the pacis and remind them that they'll be there when we come back. They have never protested this. So, basically the pacis don't come downstairs unless one or both is otherwise inconsolable or so I can wash them. I know they can get to sleep without them because my boys are "throwers" and I'll often go in the nursery after they've fallen asleep to find them on the floor. But, they definitely are a source of comfort and security.

People have asked me when I plan to wean and I do not know. Around 2 years, maybe. I certainly don't want toddlers talking through their pacis. We'll see how it goes.

I know some parents refuse to give pacis at all. When my boys were in the NICU, the nurses would tell me that some parents would not allow them. While I respect each person's own decision, I think that sucking is such a basic instinct and so comforting that I cannot imagine not allowing it, especially when a baby is alone in an incubator, but I digress.

 

We restricted paci use with all our kids at around 18 months of age or so, to nap and nighttime. It was much much easier to keep track of the suckies with our singleton's though, somehow, the twins ALWAYS manage to find 1 laying around somewhere during the day, then a fight ensues over it! Right now Rylee has one in her mouth and I have no clue where she found it! :lol:

Anyways, for the most part, they are for nap/nighttime or if they are sick or exhausted (like missing a nap day). For my oldest ds, we took his away cold turkey at age 2, and he cried for a couple of nights but then was fine. Our oldest dd was very very very attached to hers, she had a lot of trouble adjusting to new/different situations, and she wasn't comfortable in crowds of people, she needed her paci a lot more. We tried to take it away at age 2 and she wasn't ready, we tried again just before the twins were born at age 2.5 and that was 4 hrs of HELL for her. She screamed the entire time, even with us in there hugging/comforting her. She really wasn't ready to get rid of it. But that one night completely ruined her sleep schedule. Where she used to go to bed easily in her twin bed with it black as night in there and the door closed tight, now she wouldn't stay in bed, screamed if it was dark, screamed if we even pulled the door a little bit closed, and kept saying "Don't leave me, don't leave me..." She was terrified we were going to leave her. It took several months to get her able to sleep with the light off and the door partially closed, and even now at age 4.5 she still doesn't like the door closed tight, although she will finally go to sleep like that. We finally managed to get rid of hers at age 3.

Every kid is so different. The twins just turned 2 and I'm considering taking the suckies away. But, I also know we have a 4 day trip driving from south carolina to canada coming up this summer, and I'm not sure I want to go 4 days with no "plugs" for them! :lol: So I'm really on the fence about what to do right now

 

Just butting in here to say when my oldest was little her Ped said to let her decide when to give it up, he A) never knew anyone who went to kindergarten with a binky and B) dental work cost less than therepy. lol. As long as they are working I say keep them in your arsonal.

 

Thanks for the replies. I am now thinking I might start VERY slowly... Take them away in the car (it's only a 7 minute drive to daycare and back but, it's a start?) for now and see what happens. I spoke to day care this AM and the girls will move up to a toddler room at 18 months, and they won't let them have the binkies at that point (except for naptime), so I guess I'll have some help with the whole issue then! Which is kind of a relief. I really don't mind if they have them at night for now but don't want them walking around with them after they are 18 months or so.

Thanks again! Good stuff.

 

Very funny! Agreed with everyone here. I don't know where this pressure comes for us to think that binki's are bad. My friend urged me to get rid of them around 11 months, because she thought that was the appropriate time. I caved in the to pressure. Tried for 1 weeks...my girls were amazing sleepers and then didn't sleep for that entire week. IT WASN'T WORTH IT! So I gave them the paci's back and life resummed to normal and we were all much better off for it. So, I decided that I might try and get rid of them around 2 years old. Since 11 months, we restrict them to car rides over 30 mins, naps and sleep. It works for us and they love their pacis and they make the babies happy, so what is so bad with that?

And, we another set of twins on the way, I would say keep the paci's because your sanity is much more important then what people think. I recently saw a segment on the Today show were they addressed this issue, 2 of the 3 moms used pacis up to the age of 4. I would say kindergarten should be the cut off, perhaps high school w/ multiple sets of multiples

 

I am a pediatrician and I have a BIG problem with toddlers running around playing and trying to talk around their paci. However, my twins are 21 months old and DS is as attached to his as he ever was. It lives in his crib so he can always have it for naps and bedtime but it never comes down the stairs. He has never even tried to bring it down because once he's up and playing he's giggling, talking, running, etc. We stopped using them in the car about a year old because they were just being launched across the car. Even at 13-15 months, kids should be able to be calmed from fussing or tantrums by hugging, cuddling, distractions, sillyness, offer of snacks, etc. So I would try to do without pacis during playtime, mealtime, etc and keep them for bed/nap.

 

My Girls are 23 months and I still let them have their binkies at nap time and bed time. It's such a comfort for them and helps sooth them into sleep. At 13 months old, I don't think you need to make them exclusively "sleep only' binkies.
Do what makes you and your boys happy Don't worry about what other people will think when they see your little ones with binkies.

 

I struggled with this for a while as well. My problem got solved for me however when they were 14 mths. We were traveling & in the whole rush at the airport one of them fell out of the diaper bag because it wasn't zipped all the way! I was totally freaking out! My DD was fine without it when it was time for bed, my DS asked for his, but I didn't give it to him, he was a little cranky when it was bed time, but by the 3rd night he had forgotten about it. They also threw their bottles out of the car window on this trip, so I guess I did it all cold turkey in 2 weeks! Try it, if it doesn't work then just leave them and try again later.

 

I didn't read all the responses, but basically we limited the paci to the crib. and if desperate to the car... and maybe during times you really NEED them quiet - like a church service.

I would make them throw their paci back into the crib on the way of the nursery after waking up. "bye bye paci"...

we didn't wean from sleeping with pacis until around 2 yrs. I knew I didn't want to deal with sucking on thumbs/fingers etc... and we don't have that, so yay!