Questions, Questions, Questions...

Hello!

I have 4 1/2 month old twin girls and we have a few questions/advice to ask...

Sleeping:
The girls still get up 1-3 times a night...any advice on how to wean? They were getting up once a night, now they are getting up a lot.

We really try to get the girls to sleep in separate rooms because they wake each other up, but it still seems to happen! Any advice? It is so frustrating once you get one to sleep, and then the other wakes up screaming and wakes the other! We have tried putting them together...didn't seem to work either..took 45-60 min to stop crying then they woke up 90 min later.

Anyone care to share a schedule for us to try? The girls usually are up at 7am, drink and fall asleep by 830. Then the sitter watches them and feeds them twice with one or two naps during the day. At night we try to get them up by 630-7pm to feed them food, then bath, then bottle before bed which is between 8-830pm. (And they are still waking up during the night)

Feeding-
We just started to give food-how much should we give them at one sitting? I'm afraid to feed them too much because they are pukers.

Teething-
It's been 8 years since I had a baby...what are the signs? Girls sometimes wake up screaming and are drooling at times, so I 'm assuming they are starting. Any tips to make this easier with TWO??

Thanks!
Nicole

 

What really helped us with them not eating at night was two things. First, we cluster fed during the day. Rather than letting them go 4.5 hours between feedings, we fed them every 4 hours. In addition to that, even though they technically went to bed about 7:30, we would wake them up at 10pm and do a dream feed. So they were getting 5 bottles during the day and the dream feed, and they stopped eating at night around 4.5 months. Once they stopped eating at night, our schedule was basically:
6-6:30am - bottle
10am - bottle
2pm - bottle
6pm bottle
10pm - dream feed bottle

We didn't start solids until 6 months due to stomach and digestive issues, but when we started, they were getting about 1 oz. for each meal and we gradually worked up from there. Basically to start, we would split one of the stage 1 baby foods, or if it was something I made, I would give them about 1-1.5 oz. Once we got to three meals of that size, we gradually began increasing the size of each meal.

In addition to the drooling, our boys did lots of chewing. They started that around 4 months, but didn't actually get a tooth until around 6 months. For about two weeks before the teeth finally broke through, they were very, very fussy, and their sleeping patterns were WAY out of whack. As far as what to do, we did tylenol, Hyland's teething gel, and cold things to chew on. Honestly, not much seemed to help completely and we just had to get through it.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Will talk to my husband about the schedule and think we will try that this weekend. I really appreciate your help! :good:
And...
My T2 just was up crying/screaming for over 2 hrs! She was fed at 6 (food), bathed, had a bottle then fell asleep...woke up around 8 and was crying ever since. We fed her some more, changed her, burped her, and wrapped her tighter...gave her aspirin, and teething pellets. It took 2 1/2hrs before she fell asleep, but not sure she is fully asleep yet! So, I am in desperate need to get them on a schedule! :wacko:

 

not trying to judge here but did you give actual aspirin or baby tylonal? Aspirin is REALLY not safe for kids. I know they make and sell baby aspirin but you should really not give anyone under 18 aspirin. Again I am really not judging just wanted to let you know its really not safe.

 

I would probably try putting them down for the night a little bit earlier. Like 7-7:30ish. The dream feed is a good idea too. We did that when our boys were closer to 3 months, but they woke up around that time to eat anyway (11pmish) so we didn't wake them then, just gave them a nice big bottle and then back to sleep.

Have you tried comforting them when they wake in the night but not offering them food? This clicked for me when I was getting ready to breastfeed one of my sons after he woke in the night and I was getting comfortable and arranging the pillows and preparing to feed the baby, and he was already falling asleep and not crying. He just wanted to be held and snuggled. After that we always tried holding and snuggling, sometimes rocking if they woke in the middle of the night. 90% of the time either baby would go back to sleep without eating.

I'm not sure if you are breastfeeding but we also started switching it up so that DH was the one to check on them if they cried in the middle of the night instead of me. That way the food wasn't right there next to their face which often seemed to wake them up more. If DH couldn't comfort them, he'd bring a baby to me to eat. If I went in to comfort them, they ALWAYS wanted to eat because they knew I had the food.

 

Sorry for the confusion...I did NOT give her aspirin...we call all baby Tylenol and medicine for headaches and such, aspirin where I live...so I'm sorry. Gave her baby tylenol that the doctor subscribed.

 

I am not breastfeeding anymore at this point. I have read that comforting them will just get them in the habit of snuggling? We have done the snuggling and I read that they will never sleep on their own (self-stimulate) if you keep comforting them? So, I don't know what is the right thing to do? If they are crying a lot we do go in and check on them, but we try not to pick up...not sure if this is right or not?

Although we have always offered food when they wake up, sometimes they do fall back asleep fast...so we should just try it and see how it works. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

 

sorry for jumping, it scared me. We knew a child who died from Rhye syndrome so I am super vocal about apirin in children. I don't even know why they make it anymore.

 

At 4 1/2 months old I had a good sleeper and a bad sleeper. It's actually still kinda that way . We only have one extra room so I don't have the option of separating them at night. They have always slept in the same room at night, but I do separate them for naps. One in their room and the other in a pack and play in our room. Although it doesn't seem that way now, they will eventually learn to sleep through the other's cries. For my bad sleeper, it just took a lot of trial and error. I finally figured out that she just does not like to sleep in a crib, so she sleeps in a pack and play. She'll probably sleep that way until they move into toddler beds. I also ended up having to use CIO once she turned 6 months. That was when I finally started getting some sleep. Usually when she would wake up I could just pop in her bink and she'd go right back to sleep, but sometimes I had to rock her. The problem was that she would do this 5-15 times a night! I rarely got more than a couple hours of sleep. They didn't need to feed at night at that point anymore.

Our schedule was basically a bottle at 6am, 10am, 2pm, and 6pm. I usually put them down for a nap after being up for about an hour and a half. I always put them down at the first sign of sleepiness. The better they napped during the day, the better they did at night. NEVER let them get overtired! That is the key!

I didn't really start solids until they were 6 months old. We did put rice cereal in their bottles, but that was because they both had awful reflux. When I did start solids they usually just split one of the gerber stage one foods, once a day. We built up to twice a day and then increased amounts. They were about 8 or 9 months before we got up to 3 meals a day. You really just have to play it by ear.

As for teething, that's a tough one. I would swear that Olivia started teething at two months old, but she didn't get her first tooth until she was 9 months. Ava was 10 months. They were often drooling and always chewing on stuff. I think that just because a tooth doesn't pop out doesn't mean that they aren't "teething". I'm sure their gums still get sore. I used tylenol and hylands teething tabs. I didn't know they were getting a tooth until the gums got really swollen and you could see some white under the gums.

I hope this helps! Hang in there, I promise it does get better!!

 

I've been doing a lot of reading on baby sleep this week and read that 6:30-7:00 p.m. is the ideal bedtime for babies under 6 months. I've been putting my 5 month old down earlier the last few nights and she has gone down so much easier. It's normal for them to eat 1-2 times per night at this age. They may still need a night feeding up until 1 year. I know I get hungry if I haven't eaten for a few hours. I'm not much help on schedules. All of my babies have nursed on demand every 2-3 hours. At 5 months my DD still takes short naps, mostly 45 min. in length. We are doing 3-4 naps a day. We are still swaddling DD for sleep. We won't start solids until at least 6 months old, per AAP recommendations. I am in no hurry to do solids since milk is superior nutrition. I would add solids slowly to keep milk intake up. As far as teething, it's really hard to tell at this age if they are teething or just drooly.

 

We often go in and comfort them by rubbing their tummy, holding their hand, giving them the paci, and shushing or talking softly to them. This often works great, especially if they aren't fully awake. Sometimes one of them is just too agitated to calm down that way. We will pick him up, rock him for a minute or two, or whatever soothing method seems to be working best to get him calm again. Once he is soothed we put him back down, maybe some more tummy rubs or soft words (i.e. goodnight, it's sleepy time, love you) and leave the room. It works for us. We don't have to go in every night, and I don't think it has prevented them from sleeping on their own or developed any kind of bad habit.

 

Forget what you read about comforting equates with them getting them too used to snuggling. Forget that completely. Comforting increases security which enables them to feel secure enough to go to sleep because they know you are there. You are building a foundation for them and then you will set the rules to guide them. They need that foundation first to know you are not leaving and not coming back. They are very young and although it seems so many have babies that STTN at the age, that is actually not the norm. I am not saying you need to rock them to sleep, but depending on their temperaments not comforting them could potentially be having the reverse effect of what you are going for. I know this time is very trying with lack of sleep, but if they are suddenly waking repeatedly it could be a growth spurt which lasts a few days. If you are going to try some sleep training it is a great time to practice your "plan". If you go in and comfort them down, then leave, give them a few minutes, do it again, etc., eventually they will start acquiring skills to self-soothe. At 4.5 months most, not all, but most babies, are not mature enough to sleep train. But if you start practicing now by 6 or 7 mos you will most likely see great results. The key is consistency. It is hard at first but your hard work will pay off.

As far as the separation and the waking each other, again, I know this is annoying but decide whether to separate or not and stick with it. Most likely they will start getting used to each other but it will take maybe a few weeks. There is a huge difference from 4 months to 6 months. I had this problem but eventually the better sister could sleep through the other's crying or other noises.

I agree with PP...I would start putting them to bed earlier. We have always until very recently had bedtime at 6:30 pm. I am wondering if yours are overtired from the late bedtime? Although some folks on here have had success with later bedtimes, the majority of babies natural bedtime will fall into the 5:30 - 7:30 range. You can find that in several books. Just a thought.

Lastly, as far as feeding, at this age we were still easily feeding every 2.5-3 hours - we fed on demand at this age but if one was hungry the other ate at that time. I never gave them separate patterns. 4 to 4.5 hours sounds too long to me. Could it be that they are getting cranky because they are hungry earlier? Again, only you really know this but just throwing it out there. As far as solids, we started at 5.5 mos in this house but for the first couple months it was only a tablespoon or two per meal..only for practice...nothing big.

Good luck mama - these are trying times I know and exhaustion makes things frustrating. You are on the cusp. I would like to suggest a great sleep book by a pediatrician and sleep expert out of Children's Hospital in Chicago. It is called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I would suggest the original copy, not the one for twins. The original is indepth in its explanation of sleep and children and there is a lot of detail to read about each age group, starting with infancy, the focus of the book. Good luck to you mama!

 

Could not agree more with the bolded. And there are a ton of books out there that back up these theories too. Really, there are books out there that back up countless theories. But I have to agree that right now they are so, so young and cuddling is a good thing. They depend on touch to relate to the world, and your touch is the essence of safeness to them. Many people believe that cuddling them will not keep them from ever learning to sleep on their own but will instead help them find night time as a comforting time and nothing to be afraid of.

It's such a hard, hard age, and everyone will tell you something different. In the end you have to make the decisions that feel right to you and that ring true to your gut. No one knows your babies like you do, no matter how educated they are or how many books they've written.

Hugs to you, Mama!