Getting out about with twins

OK... I NEED to get out of my house more often. My girls are 5 months old. I just need courage and tips of how to leave the house with them alone. It does scare me but if I stay in this house for much longer I am going to lose it. The girls are really good. No issues with them. It is just so hectic and my husband is really busy with work so I feel like I'm alone alot. How do you go to the store? Do groceries? Anything... I just need air, open spaces and other adult contact! I feel like Im disrespecting my children by saying that but I don't mean to ... I adore them but it will be good for them too rather than being cooped up in here all the time

Ideas?
thanks x

 

I understand how you feel. I've yet to take both of them somewhere on my own, other than going out for walks. If we all go somewhere, my husband comes too. When it comes to errands or the grocery store, I usually only take one baby and my husband stays home with the other, or I do the errands after they go to bed.

I think you just have to try it. Maybe pick something easy like going to visit a family member or friend, that way you are in a home environment when you arrive (instead of a store) and there will be someone helpful and understanding there if you need it. I always get nervous about what will happen when we go out - will they cry, get tired, be hungry, all kinds of things, and my boys have always been absolutely fine and enjoyed their outings and seeing other people. I am more nervous about it than they are!

So, I'm with you. I need to try it too.

 

Oh ladies, I completely understand where you are and have been there. I finally found my way out and so will you. I got out when I finally got the girls on a rigid nap schedule. Once we did that, I knew that once they both woke I would have a window of opportunity to get out.

My first trips were to close by places and for quick trips - under 30 minutes including drive time. Once the girls woke, I would feed them, change their diapers, get them in carseats, and then go. I would also toss a "riding buddy" (toy or some other distraction) into their carseat with them. My first trips were mostly shopping trips - Target or the grocery store. I would click the girls' carseats into our stroller and hook reuseable shopping bags on the handle (this way you don't have to deal with a cart or separate basket). When the bags were full, the trip was over.

My first trips weren't efficient or well thought out. In fact, I returned from some of those first trips thinking the trip was more stress than it was worth, but it was out and I knew I needed to get out. At first, I whirled through the store like a tornado. I bought really random stuff and often had to send DH back to the store. Eventually, I got more organized about our trips and I actually came home with meals. And, the trips became fun.

Maybe it was the girls growing and getting more time inbetween naps and feedings. Maybe it was an increase in my confidence with each trip. Regardless, we get out all of the time these days (11 mos.). My outings have expanded from shopping trips and include library story times, playgroups (both of which you can come and go from as needed to acommodate your schedule), lunch dates with adults. I no longer nearly run people over as I race around. I actually stop and smile at the people who want to make small talk about my twins.

So, keep trying. The first trips are really chaotic, but they are part of a learning process. Once you get your nap schedule pretty consistent, pick one thing per week that works with their schedule and commit to doing it - whether it be going to the store, to a library story time, or going to see a friend. At first, you won't make it more than you will. But one day, you will make it more than you won't and you will relish in rejoining society.

Good luck ladies. YOU CAN DO IT!

 

This made me laugh! :laughing: The whole buying random stuff and totally forgetting what I need still happens occasionally, but it is worth getting out and about.

 

I started going out with my twins alone when they were about 2 months old. I was pretty much forced into as I was taking Ellie to the Chiropractor several times a week for a month. They were short visits and we would only be out of the house for about 45 minutes for each appt., but it did get me used to packing them up, loading, unloading etc... I found that it wasn't too difficult and started to take them to the grocery store. I would wait until they woke up from a nap, feed them and then we would go. I am never at the store long enough for them to need a feeding or anything. I usually put one in the top part of the cart and one in the basket. For me, this is a bonus as it limits the amount of groceries I get as I don't have much room in the cart. I do put my moby wrap in the diaper bag and if one gets fussy I can put him/her in it and carry them around. I rarely have to do this. Afer three months of building my confidence...yep it took that long, I started throwing my three year old in the mix. I took all three of them to the grocery store for the first time alone just last week! and have done it one other time since. My DS got more attention than the twins because I had him following me with a mini cart. It is was cute and he did really good.

All I can really say is 'just do it.' It will take a few times to really get confident, but you will feel much better and I think you will be surprised at how easy it gets. I now dread that actual packing them up part than actually going somewhere.

Good Luck!

 

At first don't attempt anything too big; go to the store to pick up 1 or 2 items, or even just go have lunch at the mall. Something that you can just leave from if things get too hectic!

Have a plan for feeding in case you get stuck with hungry kids while you're out, whether it's bf'ing or bottle feeding. I was quite comfortable bf'ing in public, so it was super easy and convenient to just discreetly feed a kid wherever I was. If you're bottle feeding, make sure you have bottles prepared before you go out and if you need to warm them up, a cup of hot water at the food court works great.

Make sure your diaper bag has the essentials in it: extra diapers, wipes, bottles, and 2 extra outfits just in case.

And most of all.. just have low expectations! Expect them to have a fit, for you to forget something.. it's not the end of the world. It just feels like it sometimes

 

You got good advices already. I just wanna say don't stress too much. Pack a light diaper bag and just go. I can tell you that now it's piece of cake to take them out. Good luck!

 

I just love the girls who post here! Great advice all around. I would only add what I've been thinking in my mind.... what's the worst thing that could happen while I'm out with the babes? So they'll cry, get hungry, have a MAJOR blowout times two? Yes, these things would totally stink, but they aren't terrible. I just say, be conservative at first. Build your confidence in this just like anything else. YOU CAN DO IT! Heck, you gave birth to twins. We owe this to ourselves!

Okay, I have to be honest. I'm planning on taking my twins out to the zoo tomorrow with my 4 year old. We've been cooped up too and I've never done all three by myself. Frankly, it's bugging me that I haven't tackled this challenge yet. I'm sort of psych-ing myself up as I type this. It's kinda working too!

 

I absolutely agree with everything that everybody said! Especially the mindset of "what's the worst that could happen?"

I pack my diaper bag for two bottles (why not?) and then I just plan on everything taking forever. The stroller takes a minute to unload and put babies in, shopping is slower when you're squeezing the double between racks, you'll get stopped a million times- so? I've fed my girls in the lawn and garden at Target, I've asked a total stranger for help in the bathroom, and I've also really come to love the independence and girl time.

You can do it! Start small and have fun!

(And Brynn, have fun at the zoo!)

 

When you say "light diaper bag" what do you mean?.....LOL mine always seems to be busting at the seams with "just in case" things for all possible events!!!!!

 

You're all such an inspiration. I've have such a crappy day between screams and my aunt passing away and visitors coming out my ears and just general sleep deprivation, I'm exhausted. The kiddos are gone to bed and I'm about to fall in to my own bed now as well and I just wanted to say thank you. I guess all I needed to know was that I'm not alone!

Sweet dreams!

 

I guess at some point you just have to DO IT! Our first outting by myself with all 3 kids was my oldest was invited to a birthday party. It was a friend of her's who I happened to be good friends with the mom. So I packed them up and off we went. each time getting them packed and in the car and out of the car and in the stroller and out of the stroller and in the car gets faster. Now that they are 8 months old I can do the pullout the stroller, load the carseats and lock the car in about 2 minutes. (longer if I take them out of their car seats. I agree. Start small. after their morning nap, feed them, change them, load them up and hit the mall or target or something like that. even if you don't need to buy anything. I park next to a cart return with carts in it. like right next to it even if that means parking in the back of the lot. I figure hey I parked a mile away but I have my cart and I can work off some more baby weight lol. I load them in the cart, and away we go. Now one thing I have learned and yes it took me 7 months and trying different things to be able to do major food shopping I put one in the top of the cart either in their carseat or just sitting now that they can sit up and I put the other in the moby or side carrier. then I can fill my cart with groceries.

Good luck. Remember you can do this!

 

Great topic. I haven't ventured out on my own with my girls yet. The only place we've ever taken them though is to visit family or to the doctor's just because we tried to avoid germs this winter. I'm excited to venture out into the world with them...but definitely don't feel ready to do it by myself yet since we haven't even really done it as a team yet!

 

Here is what I do: I have a heavy diaper bag always in my trunk. It has: 1 can of formula, 2 empty bottles, 2 bibs, 2 spoons, 2 bowls, baby foods, baby finger foods (yogurt melts, puffs),couple water bottles, a bad of diapers, couple bags of wipes, a small box of toys (those smalls one like teething toys), 2 pairs of clothes, blanket, couple pairs of socks. These are always in my trunk. If I use any, i have to restock it lol.

Now the kids are big and they are on strick schedule. So i do know exactly whats going to happen anytime everyday. Usually I take them out right after their meal. they have solid and finger food, then they have their bottles. I give them 10 mins for the food to settle. Then put them in the car and drive. My kids always sleep in the car. I just take a LIGHT diaper bag (some wipes, 2 diapers, some yogurt melts, 2 water bottles, 1 banana 1 orange lol my kids love banana and orange. But most of the time, we dont even use any) with me. I know sometimes worst things happen. but I do have stuffs in my car. So I dont have to stress about anything. And I can get out of the door in 10 mins. If I plan on spending half or all day out, then I will pack more stuffs like food and bibs and wipes lol.

When they were still in their infant carseats. I took them goccery shopping with me. I just put their car seats on 1 shopping cart and go. I didnt have to pop out our double stroller. Now they are big, I just put them in 1 cart and go quick shopping. They love to be in the cart though.

Done worry you can master it. First, take them out for a quick shopping trip, go get a diaper bag lol. Feed them change them then go. Set your time 30 mins. When times up, check out and go home. Good luck! And you will see its alot of fun to take them out lol. :youcandoit:

 

We take the babies to Target quite a bit, but we can't use the carts with our car seats. I don't see how it would work with any car seat really. They changed their cart style so they now have a pretty tall but thin plastic back rest piece where a bigger baby would sit in the front of the cart. It's not thick enough to support the weight of the seat and you can't snap it on there to anything. Boo. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? maybe they haven't updated carts in all the stores yet.

 

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The two girls and I are just back from Walmart and while we had a mini melt down as we were leaving it was just because they were tired and fell asleep soon after we started to drive! I am so happy I just bit the bullet and did it! Thank you all so much for the moral support and tips and tricks! I'll be doing it more and more often now!!!!!

 

Yay! I am glad it went well. It just gets easier all the time too... that is, things don't always go smoothly, but you at least get more and more confident in your ability to handle it all the time. Well done!

 

Yay!!!! Glad it went well! Trust me-the more you do it, the easier it gets. AND-the more they get used to it and know how to behave, etc. Great job momma!

 

Super proud of us!!!!!

 

Woohoo!!!

 

Yes, I know what you're talking about. I just put my singleton DD's carseat in the large part of the cart. It doesn't leave much room for merchandise, though. Probably a good thing. It does seems safer to have her in the big part of the cart, though.

 

nice going!!! The first trip out by my lonesome was to Sam's club when they were about 2 months old or so (we needed D batteries for their swings)...I strapped my son to me (he was the more colicky of the 2) and put DD's car seat on the cart and away we went! We got some stares but it wasn't bad!!!

 

Me too :laughing: I needed that laugh today,thanks x.

 

I knew you could do it! The next trip will be even easier. You rock, momma!

 

I just wanted to join in and say.... WHOOO HOOO!!! Way to go, girl! I'm so proud of you!

BTW, I took the twins and Brynn to the zoo a couple of days ago. It was awesome. Okay, so I had to bribe Brynn a little bit with some ice cream, but hey, she listened and it all worked out perfectly!

All we need is that little bit of confidence to keep us moving forward!