Funny things your kids have said this week...

Last night DH and I asked the kids to clean up their mess.
DS replies, "We have a maid to do that!"

DH and I were like, "We do? Where has the maid been all this time?"

 

All of these comments make me laugh!!!! So stinkin' cute!!!

Gavin (youngest of the twins) said to me the other day "Mommy, you make me go banana's"

And then my oldest Grifyn (not one of the twins) said to me as I was giving him his kiss and hug goodnight "you can leave now, I have had enough of you". WHAT?! *sniff* *sniff*

 

This is not exactly about what he said, but what I heard.

Today, Kiefer had his speech therapy appointment. Before that, we all were discussing who's coming with him. Daddy couldn't make it cause he had some work to do at home. Cameron was going to either come with me and Kiefer or stay home with Daddy who would then have to skip out on work until I came home. Cameron decided to go with us. Meanwhile, Kiefer had his own thoughts.

This is what I heard.
Jason: You are going to your appointment soon, Kiefer. Better get ready.
Kiefer to me: Daddy is going to get me deported?

What really was said.
Jason: You are going to your appointment soon, Kiefer. Better get ready.
Kiefer to me: Daddy is coming to my appointment?

No wonder I couldn't answer him. I was laughing too much. He's still working on saying the word 'appointment'.

 

This year they are really understanding the whole Santa thing. We have an electric fireplace and I have their stocking hanging there. I allow them to "help" me turn it on at night by pressing the remote. They believe it's a real fire.

Jake was very serious when he told me that I better make sure to turn it off because when Santa comes down it he will get burned. :rotflmbo:

I've assured him that I will make sure it is turned off so Santa will not get burned. I then reminded him that if I foget, I will make sure to leave the front door open so he can get in that way.

 

So the kids were acting all crazy and hyper this evening. Not being bad or not listening. Just loud and crazy and running all around. It was kind of getting on my nerves because I've been a little cranky tonight. But I was trying not to be too mean because really, they weren't getting into anything or fighting, etc.

I got them in the showers, but asked they they place start to calm down and take it down a notch. Well, they mostly succeeded with that request. With a few reminders.
But I as I was drying Jason off he gives me a (wet) hug and says, "I love you Mommy!" (yes, I know! :wub: I love those moments!)
And I say to him, "I love you too, Bug- even when you drive me crazy!"

His response?!

"But you're always crazy Mommy!" And then he starts giggling like the monkey he is. :rotflmbo: <_<


Stinker.

 

Not my kids, but hilarious:

Ivy reported to me that Ben's mommy (Ben is a classmate at school) used to be smart, but now she isn't smart anymore.

I asked her who told her that, and she said Ben did.

I think Ben must have overheard the usual mommy lament of "Where did all my brain cells go?" :lol:

 

A conversation between me and my two 4 year old twins:

Dickie: Mommy why are there no more condoms?
Teddy: Shhh, thats grown up stuff
Me: What do you mean?
Dickie: Where did all the condom planes go?
Me: Oh you mean Concorde

loving all the other posts on here! :ibiggrin:

 

Welcome and that is hilarious!! Condom planes. Seriously, where do they get this stuff from?

 

Christopher's first hockey game was a huge success! He was a spectator.

He even passed out moral lessons: during the hush after a fight with two of the players had ended, Christopher screams out; 'MOM! TELL THEM TO SHARE...HEY! YOU HAVE TO TAKE TURNS!!".

A very proud 'Mommy moment!'

 

Yesterday morning Ava and I were sitting on the couch. Dawson had just come down stairs and walked up behind us and put his hand on Ava's head she very seriously said " what the he**!! This girl is a mess, I am almost afraid to send her to school there is no telling what will come out of her mouth LOL!

 

We went on a guided tour to the Neuschwanstein castle and we had stopped to eat lunch. I took K with me to the bathroom and low and behold, I had started my period. I recently got my IUD out and hadn't had periods in 14 months. K was shocked and yelled, "Oh no! Mama, what happened to your peepee? Your 'gina is bleedin' everywhere!" Awesome....

 

Andrew randomly walked up to me and my mom and said, "My testicles turned into a vagina!"

And a sweet one: the other day, I told Ivy, "I love you," and she said, "You don't have to say that." I asked her why not. She said, "Because I know that already. So you don't have to tell me again." (Luckily, she was being sweet and cheerful instead of snotty, huffy (almost)5-going-on-14 eyeroll.) I told her I still like saying it and she was kind of like, "Meh, whatever."

 

Just now, Luke calls down the steps..."Mommy, there is a poop upstairs!"
Me: "What? Where?"
Luke: "Daddy put a poop in the potty, Mommy and it's really stinky!"
Me: cracking up
DH: "Oh, okay, Mr. My Poop Smells Like Roses..."
Luke: "It does smell, Daddy."

 

The other day my husband sent a recording of them being goofy and/or creepy in the car.

My devils are little princesses
they live wtih me a lot
they love me they love me
I like the devils too

Little devils
little devils
deedledeedledebbil

Me me me me me me me

MOMMY I LOVE YOU! RAWRRRRRRRRRR!

 

These all make me smile! Yesterday I was getting on Adam about a tussle that was going on between he and Spencer, because he's old enough to let it go. I said, "You're 9 and he's 2!" Spencer interrupted with, "I NOT two! I two and half!"

 

Well, you know, that 1/2 year makes for a HUGE difference for him. It's 1/5 of his total life! It's like 1/72nd of mine.

 

I don't know about your kids, but mine LOVE going into bathroom's when we are at a restaurant or shopping. Because it ECHO'S so badly. They love to yell at the top of their lungs and listen to their echo's.

Liam followed me to the bathroom of our fav little local restaurant the other day. So, I'm doing my thing, and he's standing beside me, yelling as loud as he can "Door locked, everybody no come in. Door open, everybody come in. Door locked, everybody no come in. Door open, everybody come in. Door locked, everybody no come in. Door open, everybody come in."......over and over and over. I keep saying "Okay buddy, yes you are right buddy, okay now, shhhhhh, not so loud, okay, yes thank you for that, shhhhhh, everyone can hear you....okay now...shhhhhh.....please baby not so loud...shhhhhhhh" :lol: They need to add soundproofing blocks to the bathrooms so my kids won't enjoy their echo's so much!

 

Ivy: (completely matter of fact) Mommy, I need you to tell me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. :crazy:

 

Mine love to yell in public bathrooms too. :wacko: One day in target Ana yelled loudly "Mommy why do you have hair on your bottom?!" And then Meara yelled "When will we get hair on our bottoms?" (ETA: Bottom is the term they use for their girl parts).

 

Ava : hey mom, remember that time when I was so sick and throwing up a bunch of times?

Me: yes that was awful

Ava: yeah, it was that is when I lost my woody



(she was talking about Woody from Toy Story but the way she said it was so funny)

 

Another Ava funny.

A lady from our church (Brenda) called me tonight to tell me what Miss Ava said to her last Sunday.

Brenda asked her granddaughter if she needed to go tinkle. Ava said Ms Brenda you really should not say that in church. If you are going to talk about that you should say tee tee. It is not nice to say bad words in church. LOL!! I have no idea why she thought tinkle was a bad word other than she is very bossy and looks for reasons to get on to people LOL!!

 

We are on a roll LOL!!!

This one is from my 13 year old but I had to share LOL!!

He asked me if people had to pay to go to nursing homes. I said yes and it is really expensive. He said then why would they go to a nursing home and not a hotel? At least at the hotel they have a pool and a snack bar! LOL!!!

 

Eating chili and pulling all the beans out...."Do we have a whole bunch of beans Mommy? Are they llama beans?"--JT

Yesterday I got them all balloons and buckled them in their carseats to find after daycare Since we are in the "why?" stage I start getting the 3rd degree about why I bought them. I told them bc its their Valentine's gift to show them how much I love them.---"Go-ooooooooooooood Girl Mommy!"--Jack

"My pee pee was running me around"--JT...hmmm I had no idea they developed a mind of their own so soon

JT asked why DH stood when he peed (they had showered with him the night before):
bc he's taller than you.
"and when he poops he sits down?"
yes.
"and when you get taller you'll stand up to pee?"
No.
"Why?"
Bc my pee pee is different, remember I have a girl pee pee, girls always sit down.
"And when I get taller I'll have a big pee pee?" Hahahahahhahahahaahahahahhahaaha!! Couldn't help but share that one with DH....pretty sure his head didn't fit through the doorway

 

The other day, while I was changing the boys in to their PJs, I had a rather uncomfortable conversation with Kiefer. He often likes to pretend to pee on one of us (Me, Daddy, or Cameron). I figured this is a normal boy thing. I still do, but what a weird conversation I had to have with him this time.

Kiefer: I have a penis and you do not.
Me: Yes, that's correct.
Kiefer: I'm gonna pee on you.
Me: Yucky! No you're not, silly.
Kiefer: Could you take your pants off and pee on me?
Me: What?
Kiefer: Take your pants off and pee on me!
Me: No, I'm not going to take my pants off and pee on you!
Kiefer: Peeez! I might love it!?
Me: I'm not going to pee on you, Kiefer.
Kiefer: Peeeez! I want you to! I might really like it! I'm gonna love it!

I now have this vision of Kiefer when he grows up is going to be going to these weird underground clubs because of some sort of pee fetish. PEEEEEZ! Don't let that happen!

 

Actually, my father sent me an article that some elderly are just booking themselves in to long term stay hotels or extended stay hotels because they have everything they need (assuming they are still healthy enough to take their own meds if they have any). Their bedrooms get cleaned and the sheets changed every day, laundry service without having to leave the room in some hotels, fridge changed and refilled every day, and in some hotels, free continental breakfast. There are pools, often hot tubs, a weight room for exercise, cable, and a bar with food and drinks. It costs the same and in some cases less than a nursing home. I asked my dad if he wanted me to book him a room. LOL I'm such an evil daughter. He got a kick out of it.

 

My lesson to start policing what they hear: Anna and I were in the car on the way to dance with the radio on. There was a story about a crack cocaine bust. Conversation:

Anna: Mommy, what is crack?
Me: It's a very bad thing.
Anna: What's it called?
Me: It's called crack.
Anna: What do people do with it?
Me (realizing I only half know and have no idea how to explain to a 4 year old): Uh...they eat it or smoke it.
Anna: Why?
Me: Because they are bad people. (Ugh! How do you explain this stuff?!?)
Anna: Are they strangers? Strangers are bad people and we are never allowed to talk to them.
Me: Yes, some strangers eat crack.

This should be funny stuff moms say! I have a feeling this conversation is going to come back to haunt me, but I really hadn't planned on discussing crack cocaine with someone who is still mastering limiting herself to one gummy Tinkerbell a day!

 

Oh my gosh, this is awesome!! I just laughed so hard my side hurts!

 

I can't believe you didn't tell her that "crack is whack".

 

Oh thank dog I'm not the only one. Alice yesterday was talking about how one of her stuffed animals was going to pee in another one's mouth and vice versa. I just told her that wasn't a very nice thing to do. :bad:

 

I wanted to.

 

Ava had a pencil and was using it as her magic wand. She was going around the house saying things like "abracadabra make daddy have a blue shirt on" "abracadabra make Easton's hair stick up" and hundreds (it seemed) of Other things that were already true LOL! later on we were in the car headed to town and I noticed she had her wand with her. I asked her if she would turn me into a beautiful princess- she said "I can't, my wand is charging"! LOL!!! I guess she knew I was hopeless LOL!!!

 

We were playing with playdough this morning & the girls decided they wanted to make snow men so we were rolling balls & stacking them up.

Danika: "I'm going to make holes for the eyes!"
Riley: "I'm going to make a hole for a carrot nose!"
Danika: "I'm going to make a little hole for poop!"
Me: "How come?"
Danika: "So the snow man can go poop. I don't want his tummy to hurt."

:laughing: Can't argue with that logic.

 

Bahahahahahaha! Jack just said his baby got so excited bc he bought him a balloon that it got diarrhea!! Where do they get this stuff?!?!?!

 

.......ok well now I have been turned into a unicorn. I said why not a beautiful princess- she said because you are a unicorn LOL!!!!!!

 

Our first serious birds and the bees question from Ivy: "How do you NOT have a baby?" :lol: