do twins run in your family comments...

I'm not irritated by the question but it makes me wonder why do people always ask this question? I do think some are curious if I've had fertility treatments but I think most of the time it's just something that pops out of their mouth without thinking. I went to Carter's yesterday with all the kids and DH. I had my Quattro Duo with my 2.5yr old and my 4yr old in it. Just mainly to keep 2.5yr old contained. Then I was pushing my DSNG with the twins. So there was a lady and her mom and they were all over me. I was in a friendly mood (doesn't happen when out shopping much) and they were really friendly so I didn't mind them. The lady had a 5.5mos old singleton so we were chatting. But I have to admit I was a bit tired when it was over. I think they asked a million and one questions. lol Then another lady and her mother came while I was still shopping and it started all over. Usually I don't make eye contact and generally avoid people but I was in a friendly mood so it was all okay. Plus it's a small store so I can't hide all that well with a double stroller. It's just funny how people react to twins.

 

Oh I have to add I bought some of those cute t-shirts that read Big Brother & Big/Little Sister. I got all the kids one. DS is big brother, DD1 is big sister, and then DD2 and twins are little sister. I bought them for when I have pictures done at the end of the summer (I bought them big) but also for when we go places over the summer so keeping an eye on the kids is a bit easier. lol

 

I remember those days very well.....I do think its neat that so many people are intrigued by multiples but I wish they would realize if we are out with all our kids our time is limited sometimes and we like to just get things done!! But nowadays when I see someone with kids that appear to be the same age as mine I want so badly to go over and chat to see how they are, but I usually just let them go about their way! Btw, how were you pushing two strollers? Thats amazing!

 

i think people ask for all sorts of reasons. sometimes it's an indirect way of finding out if you had fertility treatments, i think sometimes it's the only thing people know about twins so it's the only thing they can think to ask, and sometimes i think it's because they want to be reassured that it won't happen to them (ie if twins run in your family than you must have known you were at "risk", since twins don't run in their family than they'll be "fine"). :laughing: i know it wigs people out when i tell them our girls were just a complete random coincidence, there aren't really any factors that increase or decrease your chances of having IDs. ardon:

 

I was warned right off the bat that people would ask all kinds of questions- even really inappropriate ones. I thought I was prepared for what I would hear, but honestly, what took the cake was a lady assisting the check-in last year at the H1N1 community flu clinic. While standing there with my DH the lady asked why I wasn't getting a flu shot, so I told her that I'd just learned I was pregnant with twins. She then asked what I was "on" in order to get twins. Within earshot, my husband actually said to tell her the only thing I was on was him! I honestly about died, and the look on her face was priceless. :laughing: To this day when we're out with the babies and get asked about fertility treatments, we ALWAYS remember this story and laugh. I guess the best we can all hope for is that we have a sense of humor through all of this!

 

Oh I can't push two strollers. DH pushed the girls in the Graco Quarttro and I pushed the DSNG. I can push the DSNG and pull a shopping cart. That's usually what I do when I'm out shopping. DH took the big kids to the car while we were there and almost left me with the stroller. I was like um....I can't push two strollers!

 

OMG that's an awesome response! What were you on? Who asks what that type of question?!?!?! I might have to remember that when I have my snarky days. Somedays I leave the house thinking....stupid questions deserve stupid answers. Everyone here was awesome and totally warned me about the people and comments so I thought I was ready but I don't think you ever really get used to them.

 

I still get this question ALL of the time. It's not as bad when people actually ask if I had fertility treatments. I answer no, but since my sister and SIL have gone through IVF, I like to inform people how inappropriate that question is. One time I had my friend's son with me at Costco and he is the same age as my girls and an older man came up to me and told me that I should be careful with fertility treatments unless I want to end up like the octomom. Ummm seriously? I can't believe the audacity of some people.

My least favorite question now is "how do you tell them apart?" They look completely different to me is normally my response but that its sufficient for some people. This lady at our doctor's appt yesterday kept asking about their different characteristics.

 

I love this question because the twins are the 2nd set out of 5 sets just this generation :crazy: they are the 17th set out of 20 sets in 4 generations and the 4th of 5 sets of Id twins. Needless to say twins run like crazy in my family

 

I am usually nice to people but one day I was at Target in the bathroom with the twins in the stroller and DD1 was going potty. Seriously is the bathroom at Target a good place to stop someone and start asking them a million questions? Anyway, I wasn't in a hot mood and wanted to get out of there to get what I need to get done. This woman asked how I tell them apart and I said blunt..."I look at them."

 

I am usually nice to people but one day I was at Target in the bathroom with the twins in the stroller and DD1 was going potty. Seriously is the bathroom at Target a good place to stop someone and start asking them a million questions? Anyway, I wasn't in a hot mood and wanted to get out of there to get what I need to get done. This woman asked how I tell them apart and I said blunt..."I look at them."



OMG that just made laugh!

 

I get a kick out of people asking if twins run in the family, because our boys are adopted, but DH has 7 sets of twins in 3 generations on his side of the family. I just enjoy saying "oh, yes, they run in the family" and then people say "so you knew you had a chance of having twins". I love watching them assume that they are my biological kids for some reason (they happen to look a lot like me - same hair and eye color, and just slightly darker skin tone). Their birthmom is a twin, actually. She is a fraternal twin and the boys are identical, so I'm fuzzy on if the genetics or there or if it was just chance.

 

LOL! and this is why people should not ask this question!

 

I have b/g twins and the one I love the most is "are they identical" WHAT! No there is one BIG difference LOL People are crazy. I will admit I have been 110% open with our infertility journey and our use of donor eggs and never regretted it until after my m/c with our ID twins when someone said well at least its a comfort that they were not really your babies. YEP But with our b/g twins I have never had the question directly asked but I have gotten "was it a huge shock" and I say no. or when they say do twins run in your family I say well they do now.

ETA my husband likes to say in response to "do they run in your family" well not yet but give it a few months I we bet they will be running like crazy LOL

 

Wow that comment about not your babies was just VERY wrong!!! I love your husband's line. I'm going to try to remember that one.

 

I just reply, "Well, it's been a few generations" or "They do now!" to that question.

At my uncle's memorial last week, a cousin of mine (in her 30's!) was very confused why my girls do not look identical. She honestly did not know about fraternal twins! We were in a group, explaining to her how each baby came from a seperate egg, and she said (in front of my very prude Mom) "So........you had sex two nights in a row to get twins?"

I replied, "Imagine if we had gone for a third night!" :ibiggrin:

 

I never made a secret of having fertility issues, I don't think it's a thing to be ashamed of, because it's not like we did anything to cause it, so why be ashamed of it? In the same time though, people have the tendency to feel sorry for you or to pitty you when you say it, so I don't feel like I want to discuss it with strangers all the time.

After our IVF was successful, our fertility doctor who is very nice told us to bring the twins to visit after they are born. So about 8 weeks into it, we went out and went to visit them. The receptionist was a new lady, I had never met her before. The twins were in their car seats, each had a blanket on, a pink for Vanessa, blue for Max. She asked: "are they twins?" Wasn't it obvious? They were the SAME size. Then she said: " Are they 2 boys, 2 girls?" Seriously? A boy with a pink blanket on him? Then we tell her a boy and a girl and THEN she askes the favorite "Are they identical?" I wouldn't have minded it but the woman WORKED in a FERTILITY CLINIC, for real. I was almost laughing when I answered her. I felt like telling the doctor to educate her on twins, but I didn't want to embarrass them.

Also it happens that I am a twin myself so once when someone asked if twins run in my family I said: "I'm not running right now, but I'm a twin" I felt bad after because I didn't want to be rude, but you know, it's a good oportunity to have fun.

 

Wow!!! How rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a similar comment one day (I now have 4 kids) and could not beieve that someone would have the hide to say something like that out loud.
DH and I wanted a third and final child for a long time and helf off trying for 3 years. It then took around 5 months to naturally fall with twins.
The comments that used to bug me the most were those that were said in sympathy. As in, "Oh well then" or "Oh no. What will you do?".
I had one lady tell me while I was pregnant that if it were her finding out she was having twins, she'd go jump off the bridge!!!!

 

MY aunt said well I guess if thats what you want, when she found out we were having twins. Nice...

 

I had a guy ask me in Target which isle I could find my twins in... I replied the buy one get one free isle.

I always get asked if one is a boy and a one a girl...they are always dressed in pink both of them...often I reply with 'would you dress a boy in pink' ? They are both girls !

 

When my girls were infants, it would take an hour to run in the grocery store to grab a loaf of bread because of all of the questions! I didnt mind so much but my dh would get VERY irritated. One day after a whole day of being out and about and answering a million questions (our girls were dressed the same, riding in their carseats which were the same in our matching stroller) a lady asked dh if the babies were twins dh said "No. That one is hers (pointing at me) and this one is my girlfriends" We had joked about saying that but I NEVER thought he would actually say it!! I should have known! LOL!!

 

I have a friend that has twin boys that are the same age as my oldest daughter. She is in Brooklyn. She told me that she got so tired of people asking that she started saying that they were triplets, but that she had left the third in the car! Hahahahaaaa! She said it shut people up quickly! I loved it!

 

That is a good one! Hysterical! I love it!

shannon

 

I said the same thing when I got tired of all the comments once. I actually felt bad afterwards because people are really only interested and friendly.

We don't use the expression with running in Dutch, but in English your reply could be "They do and it is hard to keep up!"