For those of you who 'went back in' for a third...

Hi all!

My twins are turning 3 soon...I can't believe it. Truly. My thoughts often drift to having another baby now that the twins are becoming more self-sufficient, but I'm not sure it makes sense for my husband and I since we don't live near family and are really 'on duty' all the time w/o help. I like the idea of a 3.5 year age difference and it seems to be the right time. But so many questions swirl in my mind as to whether it actually makes sense!

Those of you that did have a third, how was your experience different from having the twins? and if your pregnancy was planned, how did you know it was the right time?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks guys

 

My twins are 23 months older than my singleton. For us, we wanted the kids close in age. I was 39 when I had the twins and 41 when I had Liam. It works for us. They are so close. I get so many "Are they triplets?" questions.

My family does all live close and in the beginning they helped a lot (had a c-section, so I needed the help). My parents or my siblings will watch the kids when I have an appointment or something. And my nieces are usually my paid babysitters. I also have friends that will watch the kids now and then, and a lot of them are moms of my kids' friends. As they've gotten older and in preschool and kindergarten, I find that I am making new friends and am able to count on them for help, or able to help them when I can.

 

Our third was planned and was born when the twins were 25 months. My DH is on a huge layoff from his company (8-10 weeks) so that was a huge factor in our decision. He would be home for the first 3 months and be able to help with the transitions. We are very blessed that it worked in our favor. We got pg at just the right time. This baby has been soooo different than the twins! There's only one and we can switch off giving the other person a break and she's really a good baby! We've had our bumps and I imagine there's plenty more to come but I'm so glad she's here! Wouldn't change a thing!! Good luck!

 

This is my baby #6 but the first after the twins and I am so curious to see how much different it will be. I have 3 older singletons but my twins have taught me a thing or two LOL!! our girls will be 4 1/2 when this baby is born. We are away from family also.

 

...6 children with no family around to help - you deserve a medal!!!

 

My singleton pregnancy was not planned, so I'm no help on the timing (however I will say, I really like that my six year olds can help out a lot with the baby, they can play with him, feed him and even help dress him.)
But I must say the pregnancy was SOOOO much easier. In the second trimester I could almost forget that I was pregnant.
And the first six month were also SOOOO much easier. I could just pop him in the sling and go about my business. Work on the computer, fix sandwiches, do the laundry, go grocery shopping. I could leave the house with out packing a bag! I just stuffed a travel wipe case and two diapers in my regular purse and off I went! Of course it helped that this baby NEVER spit up, where as my twins had reflux so this baby could easily go all day in the same clothes. And while I breastfeed the twins, they also got bottles, where as this baby won't take a bottle so no bottles to wash or lugging around everything to prepare the bottles with. Really, it was almost like not having a baby at all. Of course the first 4 weeks of feeding every 2-3 hours was tiring. But months 2 to 6 six were a breeze. Now that he's almost one his very active and more work, but like I said my girls are old enough to help--to them it's like having a real live baby doll to take care of.

 

My experience is a little bit of both. We decided to have baby #3 when our oldest was 8 and our youngest was 6. That's when we got the twins! So we had two singletons first then the boys. My only advice is to be mindful that you may have another set of twins. I've been preggo twice since the boys were born, both twin pregnancies (one complete loss, one twin loss) so counting on having just "one" more may be give you two! Such a lovely surprise, lol. :shok: My single pregnancy after the boys wasw a piece of cake though.

 

...very true. the thought has crossed my mind and i would have to laugh & cry at that news (now knowing what i'm getting into !!!

 

hi! thank you for replying. this is very inspirational to hear...it can be done (and enjoyed!)

 

My twins were 2.5 when my little one was born. Having just the twins felt too much like having one. I didn't want them to "leave me" (kindergarten/college) at the same time and have no "buffer kid" =) I wanted my kids close in age and we got pregnant earlier and had a m/c. They would have been right at 2 years old. I think it would have been about the same either way ... 2 vs 2.5 years apart. I was verrrrrry worried about it and how I would handle it all. My family is 3.5 hours away and in-laws 2 hours so not really far and they do come sporadically and help out but day-to-day it is all me. I am a SAHM and my husband is an MD with LOTS of crazy work hours. It is pretty much me that does it all (the twins are in a T/TH 8:30-11:15AM preschool) ... so I was worried. But really, it has been so much easier than I thought it would be. Caroline is such a joy and I call her my "therapy." The twins were colicky and TOUGH babies and toddlers (they are turning into very sweet, though emotional (read:tantrums =) little girls. Caroline was a chill baby and is a spunky little one year old now. She (and just having one vs. two) has been such a great experience that we are even considering going for 4! AHHHH! I am sad for my friends who have twins and are too "scared" to have another! One friend says to me ... "I am all done bc these two did a number on me!" and I wish she could have this experience. I don't think there is any "perfect" time to have another ... the perfect time is when you feel like you are ready.

 

My twins were my 2&3 babies. We have an older ds who is 3yrs 3mos older than the twins and it was easy b/c he was old enough to understand that when I was done helping/feeding/the babies then we can do whatever. He could help run and get diapers, wipes, whatever too.

I have been thinking about that number 4! I am afraid to even try b/c I do not want another set of twins. I just couldn't do it emotionally. If we even thought about trying, we wouldn't till this August and if I got pregnant and it was successful, then the baby would be born in April/May so the twins would be 3yrs 3mos older.

 

The twins "did a number on me", too. Scared me to death to the point where I was sooo afraid to get pregnant. I did NOT enjoy any of the infant stage and just suffered. Mine were colicky, reflux etc. JUST HORRIBLE! My DH works 90 hours a week and I really don't have any help.

When the boys turned 3, we thought... maybe. I had to have IVF to get the boys so.. we didn't think it would EVER happen.

I'm 7 and 1/2 weeks pregnant now and I HOPE it's one. I am still REALLY afraid because like I said, the twin thing REALLY hurt me emotionally. I am taking everyone's word for it tho that it's different and I MIGHT just enjoy this one.

I would've never gone NEAR my husband before these guys were 3. I NEED 4 yrs between them to stay out of an institution! (I have HIGH NEEDS DEMANDING kids, for sure.) So, knowing they'll be four REALLY helps!

 

well, we planned to get pregnant (and did), when the girls were just turning two and things were going well, then they hit the terrible two's and we said, oh sh-t, maybe this was a mistake... but by the time he was born they were playing well and things have going pretty well. I might have waited until they were a little older b/c of the whole potty trianing issue is difficult, but if it ended up being another girl we wanted them to be close in age...

good luck with your decision, if you do decide on the third, you won't regret it.

 

Our third baby was planned. I knew we weren't going to have any more than 3, so I didn't want too big of an age gap. My hope is that one day they'll all be able to play together. My singleton pregnancy was a lot easier than the twins but my singleton is a way more difficult baby than my twins were! I almost think he is as much work as the two of them were put together. This baby would stay awake 24 hours a day if I let him, he never wants to sleep!

If I only had the baby then I might think it was easy, but the reality is that now I'm home with two very active 3 year olds and an infant all day by myself and it's tough. The toughest part is being up all night with the baby and then having to get up first thing in the morning with my twins and stay up the majority of the day. They only take one nap, if any.

If I could do it over again I think I'd wait 9 more months so that when the baby was born the girls would be in preschool. September can't get here fast enough!

 

Hannah was planned and we wanted our kids close together bc we may not have anymore. The timing was a little earlier than we were planning on (we wanted to wait until they were 1) but at 9 months I was diagnosed with a mixed connective tissue disease and the meds they wanted me on could hurt my eggs so we decided to TTC sooner...and bam! Pregnant first go around!! I was a little scared bc they are only 18 months apart but my pregnancy was sooooooooo easy other than puking every morning which I joked was my "reminder" that there was a baby in my belly otherwise I think I would forget sometimes! In hindsight the best part of when I had Hannah was that it was June and I was able to do a lot of things with the kids inside and out that kept the twins happy and busy
Overall the boys have been great with her especially now that she is crawling they think she is the funniest thing ever

 

...this is so sweet to hear. thank you! my twins have always been pretty easy (i mean, as 'easy' as can be expected - maybe that's the wrong word! but we have things running smoothly now - am i crazy to add an 'X' factor? but like you having two at once feels almost like having 1 - and i would like to have the ***beautiful*** experience all over again. thanks again for your thoughts...

 

LOL..i love this, 'I would've never gone NEAR my husband before these guys were 3.' GOOD LUCK!!!

 

It took us YEARS to have the twins and when they were born my oldest was 7 and I now love the time span. But when the twins were 4 months I got pregnant with lucky number 4. He's 13 months younger then the twins and I LOVE the time span. I don't have family around but I love that mine are so close together. The first 2 years will probably be the hardest just because of the logistics of getting 3 in car seats, 3 in to a grocery store, 3 when you have to carry a car seat and hold 2 hands in your one hand.
But it's so worth it and will be so much fun!
My twins just turned 3 and I can see how having a baby now would be good but I agree that maybe waiting until they are in some sort of pre-school or half day play would be nice. I do feel like I haven't had any "alone" time with my youngest. But then again I didn't with the twins as well so it all works out!
Oh and my singletons have been soooooo much easier then the twins. :laughing: