4 year old sleep habits

My just turned 4 year olds do not nap anymore, and haven't for well over a year now. However, they also wake up at the butt crack of dawn, and, today for instance, went from 4 a.m. until 7 p.m. with NO nap, or even a little rest time. Here's what a typical day is like for them, how's it compare to your 4 year old??

Monday thru Friday:
One wakes at 5 a.m., the other at 5:30 (on their own, we DO NOT wake them up, and TRY to get them to sleep later)
Nap at daycare/school between 11:30-2 p.m.
Bedtime is usually 7:30, on Thursdays it's later (about 8 p.m.) due to dance class

Saturday/Sunday:
Up anywhere from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m.
No nap, but sometimes quiet time from 12-2
Bedtime by 6:30 sometimes 6 p.m. becuase they are so cranky and tired they just can't stay up any later than that.

We've tried everything under the sun to get them to nap on the weekends, and they don't. They share a room, we've tried putting curtains up between the bed to create the 'illusion' of being by themselves. We've seperated them so only one is in the bedroom and one sleeps or has quiet time in our bed. We've tried putting them in bed together (haha, not sure what we were thinking with this) We've run the gammet from having quiet music (insturmental) playing, no music, TV quietly on (in our room) no TV, earlier, later, etc... We've tried getting them to nap in the car (like when they were younger) NOTHING works. Everything that used to work when they were younger just stopped working about the time they turned 3.5.


How do your 4 year olds sleep, and how are their attitudes?? Are they cranky all the time? Are they fine without a nap? Where do they make up the lack of sleep, by sleeping in or what?? If you have any ideas to get these kids to sleep past 5 a.m. I'm all ears! I think they just started getting up early when we would get up early. We tried being quiet, but obviously it didn't work. We've tried the goodnite light with success with one child,and ZERO success with the other child. The zero success for one also unfortunately means zero success for both becuase she
will wake her sister up as soon as she is up.

 

You've got some early risers! Yikes! My DS is the early riser in our house and he's usually up between 6 and 6:30. Mine are 5, but their sleep hasn't changed in the last year. Mine go to bed at 7:30 and DS is usually up around 6:30/6:45 and DD is up 7:00 is, maybe a bit later. They do not nap. Have you tried putting them to bed at 6:30 during the week instead of 7:30 to see if it helps? I'm wonderinog if they are overly tired and it's making them not sleep as well. Can you set up their rooms with the same blankets/pillows, nose, etc. they have at daycare to try to simulate that environment to get a weekend nap? Are they napping well at daycare? Do you have blackout curtains? White noise?

 

You do have some early risers. My twins don't nap anymore either and we haven't even tried to get them to nap for at least 1.5 years. They go to bed at 7:30pm every night (unless we are out or have a family party or something on the weekend) and they get up anywhere from 7-8am. They wake up well rested and are not cranky during the day (well sometimes they get cranky towards bedtime in the evening). Honestly it sounds to me like your kids are overly tired from getting up so early. It sounds like they really need to sleep later and it sounds like you have tried that. :hug: I don't really have any advice for how to get them to do that though. :sorry: I can tell you that both my twins still have a sound machine in their rooms that we turn on every night, sometimes I think we will never give it up. :lol:

 

Mine are 5, but sleep habits have not changed in the past year.


Awake between 6:30 & 7am

'rest time' 1-2

Bed between 7 & 7:30. (asleep by 7:30-8:00)


One DD still naps occasionally (1-2x a week), other DD does not nap unless she is sick (stopped napping at age 3.5). If she does happen to sleep===she will not go to bed until 10 pm or s0 (fall asleep)


I would say the 'nap' at daycare would be the reason for early wake up. Since on daycare days if they sleep 1.5 to 2 of the 2.5 hours of rest time---they are still getting 10.5 to 11.5 hours of sleep. I would try to put them to bed earlier on weekend and see if it helps.

One DD has done fine w/o a nap since age 3. Other DD still gets cranky around 4 pm and will 'put herself' to bed at times. Mine DO NOT sleep past 7 am ever.ever. unless sick. So if we have a late night, we have to make it up with an earlier bedtime the following night.

WE use room darkening shades and have a humidifier running (white noise and for allergies/asthma).

 

It sounds to me like they either need to stop napping, or go to bed much later. I read that 4 year olds need about 11-13 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, so if they are taking a 2.5 hour nap at daycare, they are only going to need 8.5-9.5 at night.

Mine stopped napping at 3.5 because my one girl that requires less sleep was falling asleep super late or waking up waaaay too early. They generally sleep from 7 to 7. It was a little hairy when we gave up naps because we had some major afternoon crankiness so once or twice a week I put them to bed at 6:30 until they adjusted, which didn't take long.

 

:good: Same here.

 

With my girls I had one nap regularly and one that didn't. I separated them one in my room and one in their own room (they share). Rooms are dark and I made them lay down but if they napped fine in not that was fine too as long as they had quiet time. I have one daughter that is an early riser and the other would love to sleep later. I had to keep reinforcing to the one that woke up early that she was not to wake up her sister. I did let them have some stuffed animals and a toy in the bed with them so when she would wake up I said she was aloud to play quietly as long as she didn't wake up her sister. Even now I have to still remind her not to wake up her sister when she wakes up. It's rough when one needs more sleep than the other and they share a room. The one that likes to sleep in later is also the one that likes to try to stay up as late as possible too so I have to remind her to lay quietly so she doesn't keep her sister up at night.

With my son goes to bed between 7-7:30 and it usually takes him anywhere from 10min to 45min to go to sleep. I still try to put him down for nap around 12 (he has preschool t,w, and th from 9 to 11:30) so everyday we try to keep the same sleep schedule. I let him sleep until 2 if I have to go get his sisters from school or until 2:30 if I don't. I wake him up no later than 2:30 or he won't go to sleep until well after 8 but at least he is usually quiet. If he doesn't nap I will sometimes go in and let him out before 2 but that is if he is being good and he didn't seem overly tired before nap, if he seemed cranky before nap I have him lay down for the full 2 hrs. He is also an early riser and is usually up by 6:30 or sometimes earlier. He has learned though to stay in bed until I come in around 7 to let him out. He will lay quietly or play until then.

If I get out of bed before 6:30 no matter if it is between 5 to 6:30 I know my son hears me and wakes up. I know he can tell that I turn on my living room light. But he will lay quietly until I get him or hopefully he falls back asleep. On the days he doesn't nap he is a little more cranky and that's when I let him watch a little to much tv sometimes like dinner and a movie or a short show after dinner if we have nothing going on so he stays calm and doesn't have a tantrum. It even helps my girls sometimes too since some days they are just over tired from school.

 

My guys haven't napped since they were about three (one could have likely napped for longer, but only actually slept every few days and on the days he did bedtime was awful, since they share a room... and a bedtime!) Our schedule is this:
--In bed between 6:30 and 7:30, and it takes them anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour to fall asleep, depending on how riled up they are
-- "Quiet time" in their room from about 1:30-2:30 every day
-- Up anywhere from 6:30 to 7:30
We're working on eliminating the goofiness at bedtime that sometimes makes it drag on for an hour, but other than that, they sleep pretty well!
My guess is that the long nap they get at daycare contributes to a shorter sleep at night... can you get the daycare to shorten their naptime?

 

god this is so hard and i can totally hear your pain and frustration. Sleep has always been an issue in our home that has never resolved. well, it's gotten a little better, but only because every night, at some point, both of our girl are in bed with Dh and I. I got so sick (and was exhausted all day) from getting up and putting them back in bed that we finally said heck with it and let them stay. at least they were going right back to sleep (even if most nights, i get up and go sleep on the couch. *snort*. . anywhoo, that's not your issue is it? sorry. i digress. what i wanted to say was that i agree with others that it sounds like it's time to eliminate naps altogether. you may not notice a difference at first, but after several days to a week as you get them on a new routine, it will all work out. 2.5 hours of "nap time" at school sounds like an awful lot! and since there's no consistency, (naps at school, not at home) it seems that their clocks may be a little confused. Just my two cents, but i hope you find something that works out. it's so hard after so many years to still be feeling so completely exhausted and there is nothing that feels worse, imo, then waking up to start the day when it's still dark outside. *shudders*.

hugs, wishes, sending you luck and positive vibes. hang in there mama. this too shall pass...eventually.

Mel

 

Thanks! I think I'll talk to the Daycare about stopping their naps. They should be moving up soon anyways to where they really don't sleep during the day, but that won't be for a few more months, till there is open slots in the older room.

I may just ask to have them sent over to the older room just for nap time so they can do some quiet activity but not sleep...

Going to bed later isn't much of an option as we also have a 2.5 yr old that still requires ALL of his sleep and nap time! LOL

We're getting bunk beds soon. I'm sort of half hoping that by putting my non-sleeper in the top bunk, it will keep her from wanderin the house in the middle of the night, and *maybe* keep her from waking her sister in the morning, but i doubt that last one...

 

Mine haven't napped for over a year, my girl almost 2 years. They go to bed at 7 pm, used to be 6.30 pm about a year ago. They wake up between 6.30-7.30 am, depends on the day (they have 2 long school days, 8.45 am - 3 pm so the days after they usually sleep til 7 am at least. They get tired occassionally but overall they are never really super cranky or overtired. They sleep through the night, never wake up so they always get at least 11 hours of solid sleep.

 

I disagree that it's the nap at daycare causing the issues. I am betting they need that nap just to catch up on all they're lacking from those early wakeups!!

I think the opposite is true. I think they are overtired so they're getting up early.

I would try to get them more sleep, not less. I would probably change my mind if they were napping EVERY day for 2 or 3 hours but they're not so I don't think that's what's causing it.

Good luck and keep us posted! You can also try a light that tells them when it's okay to get up!!

www.goodnitelite.com

 

Our schedule is as follows:
6:30-7am : both wake up
1:00-2:30pm: nap or "rest" time
7pm: bedtime if they didn't nap
7:30pm: bedtime if they did nap

For the most part, they've given up naps. I think they probably take a nap about two times during the whole week. "Nap producers" for us would be a really active day (i.e. going to the park, playing on the playground, activity class, etc.) or being sick. Our DS is more likely to be the one to nap and there are times that he will actually ask when nap time is.

Regardless of their bed time, they are usually asleep in 15-20 minutes. If they wake up before 7am, I tell them to go back to their rooms and "read" a book until 7am. They enjoy this and it gives me a little extra time to get ready in the morning.

They will be starting kindergarten in August and their school has all day kindergarten so they will be in school from 9am to 3pm...with no nap time. I think it will be an adjustment and I would imagine they will be tired by the end of the week. Our niece goes to the same school and is in kindergarten this year and is sometimes ready for bed by 6pm! She does nap on the weekends for about 45 minutes.

I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions or tips, but I do think it really helps to keep them on a regular schedule as much as possible. That way both their bodies and you can hopefully better predict their bedtimes/wake up times. Unfortunately, I know this isn't always easy.

 

Glad I'm not alone! LOL! Mine have been waking up between 5 and 6. The other day one woke up just before 5 and never went back to sleep even though we told him to stay in his room until 6. We don't let them start their day until 6, but still it's soo early and you are up from then on telling them to go back to bed!! You start your day annoyed, it's no fun! They go to bed around 7 at night and maybe nap 2 days a week. I don't think mine are overtired (except for the pre-5 wakeup day). I tend to think it's winter and we aren't active as much to wear them out. Instead we do lots of movies, crafting, reading and it just doesn't tire them out.

For yours, I agree on dropping the nap and see what happens. Good luck!

 

You know what my daughter did with the goodnite lite?? Ignored it! LOL She would STILL get up at 4 a.m. come out of her room (we try locking it, turning the knob around, but she STIILL gets out somehow) and tell us "mommy, the suns not up yet" Yea, so get back in bed.... At that point we can't get her back into bed w/o a screaming fit and waking everyone else up. Not even asking her to go back to her room for quiet time.

Daycare didn't let her nap at all yesterday, and, though she did come out of her room last night, she DID sleep until 6 a.m. this morning. So hopefully we're onto something here...