Is it wrong to give up naps

I decided this week I've had it with my daughter staying up until 11:00, reading, and asking to get out of bed because she is just not tired. She takes good naps to compensate. But she's actually always been a good napper, so I don't see her dropping it on her own - she'll just be up all hours of the night! My son is quiet when we put him to bed, so I don't know how long it takes him to fall asleep - they're in separate rooms. He was taking shorter naps.

Their old schedule was in bed by 9:30 - my daughter probably wouldn't go to sleep until 11 or later and my son was usually quiet, so I don't know when he falls asleep, I'm guessing by 10. They'd get up between 8:30-9 and nap at 2:30 (my daughter probably slept from 3 - 5:30 and my son from 3-4:15)

So they were getting about 12.5 hrs a day total.

This week I've been putting them to bed before 9 and they're out immediately. My daughter's been waking around 9:15 and my son around 8:15. So it's a little less sleep for my son. So far they've been ok during the day.

It's so hard when 2 kids have different sleep habits. If it were just my son, I'd probably stick with the nap since it was short and he was being quiet at night.

I miss my nap break But I also hated constantly putting my daughter back in bed after 11:00 each night, and then my son still wakes up at night, so I still feel like I'm on 24-7. At least now it's quiet at 9.

Is this going to come back to bite me? Since once I give them up, it will be hard to go back if it's not working. Would you have made the change, or continued naps and kept the late bedtime?

 

Honestly if my kids woke up from their nap at 5.30pm they would be up until 11pm too. That's why we never put them down after 1.30pm, and usually they are in bed by 1pm... even then, if they wake up later than 3.30pm, they usually end up staying up until 9pm. If they're still up at 2pm for some reason we just skip their nap. Did you try making them nap earlier? If they're not tired at all to nap before 2.30pm, yeah, I would probably have got rid of naps a long time ago too.

When we skip naps though we put them down at 8pm... they usually wake up between 7 and 8am though.

 

Yikes, I can see why she would want to stay up until 11:00. A&R have never had naps that started after 1:30, if it was 1:45 and they were starting to get sleepy, I'd just keep them up. At 2, they were napping from 12:30 - 2:30, in bed at 7:30 and up at 7. 2 1/2 they were in bed at 8:30, up at 7:00 with a two hour nap and now they're not napping and in bed at 8, up by 7.

I think in your case I would just drop the naps.

 

Sounds like giving up naps was the right thing to do for your daughter.

It is hard when they have really different sleep needs. Luke always needed more sleep than Naomi and, when they got to the age where naps were affecting them falling asleep at night, we were able to deal with it by shortening her nap more than his. I used to let him sleep for 2 hours and wake her up after only 1-1 1/2. In your routine I would probably have tried letting them nap but waking your daughter when your son wakes up so she only sleeps for about an hour and is up for longer before bed.

The other thing you could do is keep on letting your son have a nap while keeping your daughter up. It could be some nice individual time for her.

 

With all of my kids, when they started not sleeping at night or not falling asleep until really late, I took away naps. I missed the time during the day but, for me, the time in the evenings was more important & I hated the stress of trying to get them to sleep every night. They all did just fine without their naps & adjusted fairly quickly.

 

Mine don't nap consistently anymore. But on days when they are super tired or cranky, I let them nap and then push bedtime back a bit. Today they napped from 1:30-2:30, so we'll have slumber party and they'll probably go to bed around 9ish (normal bedtime is 8 and they wake up between 7 and 7:30 in the morning). So just because you've given up naps (which I agree was the right thing for your DD!), it doesn't mean they can't occassionally take a nap.

 

I've been having the same issues and decided last week to give up naps. The first 4 days were HORRIBLE :drown: They were super crabby pretty much all day long. This past Monday I decided to put them down just to see and it still took them a good hour to fall asleep. That was the main reason I decided to give them up. I kept trying to put them down later and later and they would still take a good 60+ minutes to fall asleep.

I woke them after 90 minutes and they seemed ok, but it took them over an hour to fall asleep at bedtime.

They started preschool this week from 12-2:30 and I think that is helping with the transition. We get home and they are still stimulated from school so it has made for a much easy afternoon.

Now when I put them down for bed at 7:30 they are out almost right away. There were many nights before giving up naps with them being up talking and playing unil 9:00-10:00.

Now they go to bed at 7:30 and wake between 7:30-8:00.

I will be interested to see how they do this weekend since we don't have anything planned.

 

I had to stop my DD's nap when she was 3y2m for the same exact reason, she wasn't falling asleep until 10pm at night. She was napping from 12:30-3:00 then and would fall asleep easily for her nap, but then would stay up late at night. So after about a week of it, I decided it was time to cut her nap out. I hated doing this because she obviously still was tired at night, but once I took her nap away she was asleep by 7:45pm. :good:

 

your whole timing is just off a couple of hours from ours... we're up at 7a, nap 1p-3p, bedtime... closer 8:30p. we were having issues a few weeks ago and started limiting their nap to waking up at 2:30p, that has helped us.

I would love them to be in bed by 7p... I was thinking that I probably need to wake them up earlier in the mornings or something... I was thinking if I got them up at 6:30a I could go straight away with them on a stroller walk, and get a walk in for myself...

anyway, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up naps either, but like pp said, when mine sleep late - like past 4p they will surely be up late. maybe see how it goes, if you feel they need a nap one day, try it, and maybe do it earlier, or wake them after 1 hr.

 

I think 11pm is way too late for a 2 yr old to be going to bed, so I agree to give up the naps. My LO's go down at 2pm and will occassionally sleep until 5pm, but they still are alseep by 8pm. I think the earlier bedtime is healthier for her. Sometimes, one of my DDs will stay awake the whole nap time talking and I start to think that maybe we are headed for no naps but we'll see... I'd go with a nice video at your dtrs old nap time and get her settled on the couch so you can still try and do something for yourself as you used to do during her nap!

 

Right there with you girlfriend ... one could drop fairly easily but the other gets super cranky ... I have started dropping it some days and napping them some days ... depending on moods ... non-nap days it is beddie bye no later than 7:30 and nap days it is, like you, 9 or 9:30. I think dropping the nap is the way to go for you unless she just can't keep it up ... A few months ago, I went nap-less for a few weeks then the girls just started being terrors ... so I put naps back in and pushed bedtime late again ... now, a few months later, I am trying it again ... to only do naps every so often (it is hard when they are ASKING for a nap at 4PM ... but I just try to distract them with something fun like making muffins or taking them on a walk or bike-ride (I ride and they just lounge in the trailer) ... or popcorn and a movie ... and they can usually make it to beditme without too much drama ... I think you are doing the best thing ... drop the nap except on days you really think they need one ... as far as what to do with your son ... I would try my hardest to keep them on the same schedule ... it would drive me batty to have them different ... maybe put him to bed a little earlier than her (put him down then let her read for a while longer or something) ... good luck to us all

 

So I've been thinking about your responses and liked the idea that giving up naps doesn't have to mean all the time if there are days they might really need one. I also like to keep the option open that when it gets closer to summer and we are out doing things, we don't have to rush them home early for fear of them getting overtired (and having tons of night wakings with my son) if we can schedule a nap in. I figure in order to do this, I should try to get a nap in 1-2x a week. If I give them up completely, they are always so used to a routine, that they'll refuse. So I tried yesterday, especially since they woke an hour earlier than I would have liked, and it was very difficult. My son slept 40 minutes and ended up on the couch with my husband where he slept another 30 minutes eventually. My daughter layed there awake for an hour before she cried to get out. My husband put her down on our bed and layed with her and she slept 1.5 hours. She was up before 5. I went up to check on her last night at 10:30 and she was still reading in the dark. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go back with them, and it looks like I was right. Unless I went back to napping all the time and then we'd have to have a rough transition back.

Someone also mentioned about shortening my daughter's naps, which I thought about doing first, but didn't because I know she'd be crabby waking her early. But part of me wishes I had tried it just to rule out that it wouldn't have worked. I may go back and see.

As far as napping earlier in the day, I don't think my daughter would go to sleep any earlier. I think my son would, because he always falls asleep an hour or 2 before nap time if we're in the car. My daughter never does. I know it does seem like a late nap time, but they also sleep in later, so it seems like the schedule is off an hour or two from everyone else's all the way around. They were always on a later schedule, it just worked better for our family. I do agree that 11:00 is ridiculously late for a 2.5 year old (though it was never my intended bedtime). It's been going on for the last few months, and I think I knew I had to give up naps to fix it, but just kept putting it off because overall she was getting 12+ hrs of sleep and she wasn't crabby. I was also hoping it was a phase because she loves reading in bed and often falls asleep with a book on top of her face. She started this habit after we moved them to separate rooms in the summer. But the novelty hasn't worn off yet. I thought she was forcing herself to stay awake to keep reading, but last week when I heard her playing with her babies in bed and asked me if she could get out of bed when I went to check on her at 11:00 was the last straw. I know she is just not tired. I guess I'll continue with the no naps, but will play it by ear to see if they seem to be getting crabby and overtired the longer this goes on.

 

Well, this weekend was BAD!! They were good Saturday until about 4:00 and then the meltdowns began. Yesterday was even worse. They were so over tired and it took them longer than usual to go to sleep.

I've decided to move their bedtime from 7:30 to 6:30 and see how that goes.

I just pray they don't wake tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. :headbang:

 

I know, that's my fear with an even earlier bedtime too! Let us know how it goes!

Maybe you can just do naps on the weekends?

But then I wonder if going back and forth with naps and then no naps has them losing out on sleep. Like since mine were up late from sort of napping yesterday, then up earlier than usual, I think it would be hard to have them not nap today or they'd be overtired by bedtime. Maybe I should have just left it alone. I think I'll try another nap today and see if it goes better or if they completely fight sleeping in their bed again. Maybe now it's my chance to see if waking my daugher early will help at all.

Just another one of those things that if it were one kid and not twins, it wouldn't be so complicated. It would be nice to just go with the flow and off one kids cues!

 

Personally, if it were me, I'd get them up ealier in the morning and give them a shortened nap earlier in the afteroon. The amount of hrs they are getting right now is appropriate for their age. It just may need some shifting. Just my opinion, I never let my kids get rid of naps before 4. Even if they just needed to look at books quietly in their bed, they had to have quiet time. They need the sleep to grow.

 

I actually just told my mom, who watches my kids, to not give them naps. They very rarely get naps on the weekends, and we don't have the massive fighting from Livvy that we have weeknights. Unfortunatley they fell asleep on her couch tonight at 4 and were still sleeping when bunny got there at 5. I was very scared about bedtime tonight. So far so good though. I am sitting by the door in Livvy's room and she is wide awake, but not talking or playing.'hopefully she falls asleep soon..

 

She said her daughter is crabby if you wake her up... I have the same problem. My kids nap most days, and rarely less than 2 hours, so we are up very late but unfortunately they are AWFUL if they get woken up.

 

Update on us:

I put them down last night at 6:30. They fell asleep around 6:45 and it's almost 8:00 a.m. :woohoo: I plan on getting them up in a few minutes.

Hopefully that is what we needed and going forward this will be our new schedule.

 

So do you think they were just catching up, or that putting them to bed earlier will get them more sleep because they'll still get up at their normal wake time? That would make giving up their nap worth it!

I'm still in limbo. Since they had a short nap on Sun which made them stay up later, and then they woke up earlier than usual on Mon, I decided to experiment with a shorter nap. They went down at 2:30 and Allison slept from 3-4:30 when I woke her. Actually I had Grant wake her - even though he's not subtle about it, she usually wakes up less crabby that way. Grant slept from 2:45-3:45 and woke up screaming - which is usually how he wakes when he's in an "off" kind of schedule and going through a "sleep issue" phase.

I put them to bed at 9 and Allison was up until almost 10:30 (better than 11) and Grant probably fell asleep around 9:45. Grant was up at 7:30 to go potty. I put him back to bed and they both got up at 8:30. I have no idea if he want back to sleep or not. Oh, he was also up at 12:30 for a usual night waking session. Seems like a lot of broken up sleep, but similar in hours as all the other plans. The only way they go right to sleep though is giving up the nap. So I'm still undecided as to what I should do today. Maybe I'll try the shortened nap this week and see which schedule works better. Sleep experimenting is never fun. Especially with a son who is so sensitive to sleep issues!

 

That's what I'm hoping for. My one son was still sound asleep at 8:00 and it took him some time to wake up.

I was (and still am) a believer in the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. I followed that book to a "T" when they wre babies. The whole sleep begets sleep is so true and it got me thinking over the past few days that maybe that is all we need to get my happy boys back. I actually pulled the book out and read the chaper for 3-6 year olds.

I have to admit it was nice to put them down at 6:30 and have 4+ hours to myself. When they were napping, I'd put them down between 7:30-8:00 and still have to deal with hearing them until 9:00-10:00. Now it takes them less than 20 minutes to fall asleep. True, it's been hard for me not having that break during the day but I'd much rather have them fall asleep right away at bedtime instead of the battles we've been having with naps and bedtime.

It's only been a week since we moved them to toddler beds. My one son goes to bed and stays in bed with no problems. My other son keeps running to the door to try and open it (we have a toddler lock on the outside so he can't) and it's almost like a game. By the time I open the door, he's already back in his bed. I'm hoping that will grow old quick and he'll just stay in bed.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

 

What does the book recommend for 3 year olds? Should they still be napping?

I'm still torn with what to do today, but I did like our day with no nap/earlier bedtime/asleep right away. I was just getting worried about reading other posts that said kids should still nap at this age. Since they got up fairly late today and don't necessarily need a nap, maybe I'll skip it and put them to bed even earlier and see how it goes. Maybe my son will get less broken up sleep this way and we can get him back on a more consistent schedule.

 

Yes. According to the book, he said "most" 3 year olds take a nap every day. When they turn 4, 50% will still nap.

Compared to the rest of the book for earlier ages, the 3-6 year old chapter was fairly short.

The main thing I have noticed is my one son when he lacked sleep (shorter or no naps/late bedtime) would wake up numerous times at night crying. He was always able to put himself back to sleep after a minute or two. Since going to no naps, I have been suprised that not once has he woke up in the middle of the night.

For me, I don't know how I could do naps. They go to preschool Tuesday-Friday from noon-2:30. We come home and they want a snack. By then it's 3:00. If I put them down at 3:00, I know they would be up until 10:00.

 

Yeah that's why I didn't want to sign up my kids at a preschool that starts at noon... they still need their naps. By September though I think they will be mostly over it so I might sign them up for the 12.30pm session... worst case they can just nap the other 4 days. It's kinda hard to know though, I'm worried I'll sign them up at 12.30pm and those days will be a disaster, but I guess they can always go to bed earlier.

I just really wish their naps would naturally get shorter, so bedtime isn't such an issue most nights, but I think we're actually getting there... naps have been closer to 2 hours than 3 hours lately here.

 

Day two with earlier bedtime and they are still sleeping at 7:30 a.m. I put them to bed at 6:30 and we're still having issues with my one son playing with the door. After 30 minutes he got tired of it (and me going in there putting him back to bed) and fell asleep.

With the earlier bedtime and them sleeping later yesterday, they did well. No real meltdowns that I could relate to their sleep.

So for us, no more naps and an earlier bedtime.

 

Sounds like you found your new schedule!

Mine slept from 9-9 and my son had one mini night waking at 12:30, which he didn't even get out of bed for. My daughter went to sleep immediately without even attempting to open a book. I hope we can make this work, because I like it better. I may experiment and try putting them to bed 15 minutes earlier each night and see if they still sleep as long in the morning.

 

Do you make them have a rest time during the day or how does that work? Do you get a break?? Mine are over 3 yrs old and are waking up super early and going to bed later.. I'm thinking it's almost time to give up naps but I'm FREAKING about not having a break! How does it feel to not have that nap time? Details

 

HSHHC says that many kids give up their naps by age 3...(sorry if this has been said earlier, i havent read previous posts!) btw, my twins are only 5 months but I have a dd who turns 3 in feb.

Just my opinion...I think you may be happier at working on a MUCH earlier bedtime. (Like 7 or 7:30) and see what happens. They will probably take a half hour to fall asleep at night, and wake around 7:30 am. Then if they need a nap, you could put them down at noon, and wake them at 2 if they are not up. Some days my DD just lays in bed and has quiet time with books, but she stays in bed and I get my down time AND the evening to myself Works out great! If they need to give up naps, I would still make them rest.

The upside to an earlier bedtime is that when kindergarten approaches, you will already have them on schedule pretty much! They surely woulnt be able to go to school and function properly on a 10 or 11 oclock bedtime.

 

Honestly.....it stinks! :faint:

I've had them on a fairly strict nap schedule since they were 4 months old. I enjoyed my "me" time. Heck, there were many, many days I would also take a nap.

But those days are over with. Since giving up naps 2+ weeks ago I find myself exhusted at 5:00. If I could go to sleep, I would. Just like them, it's been a transition for me as well.

They do go to preschool 4 days a week from noon-2:30 but I now find myself running errands or cleaning the house during that time.

What has helped me is having something to do with them during their naptime outside the house. Yesterday we were out for almost 3 hours and I plan on doing the same today. What's also hard it that it's winter. If I would have done this in any other season it would be easier since we would not be stuck inside.

But I do like having my evenings back. I put them down at 6:15 and it still takes them 20-30 minutes to fall asleep and stay in bed. But by 7:00, I have the night to myself and they are sleeping until 8:00 a.m.

 

It's not going as well over here. Lately, they've gone to sleeping 11 hours at night, instead of 12 and there has been a little more crabbiness during the day with my son. The 11 hours started when I tried putting them to bed earlier. Instead of sleeping longer, he just got up earlier and cut out an hour of sleep time. And you may have heard me say how it takes one night for my son to form a habit? So now his wake time has been an hour earlier until I can figure out how to break it and have him sleep longer.

So after several consecutive days of this, today we're making them take a nap. We'll see how it goes. It really is such a pain having kids with 2 different sleep habits. I would put my crabby son down super early for a nap, and he'd probably take one - if my daughter would take one too. But she won't (and she's not crabby), so he'll refuse.

As far as quiet time, again I find the concept hard with twins. We do go upstairs, I close the gate at the top of the stairs and I let them play in their rooms. We call it "quiet time". I pull out some quiet things for them to do - books, puzzles, blocks and I go lay in my bed and read. Sometimes I doze off - but I am the world's second lightest sleeper (my son win's first place there) so I still always hear them. It gives me a semi-break. I'd love for them to play in their own rooms alone, and my daughter would because she's good at playing independently. But my son would never have it, and I'd have to listen to him whine the whole time. So this is how I get a little bit of "me" time. It hasn't been that bad. I just wish they were still getting 12 hours of sleep this way.

So the cycle continues. I'll try naps for a couple days, get tired of the sleepless nights and go back to no naps. Back and forth back and forth. GRRRR

 

Ya. I'm convinced. They're napping til they're FOUR, at least. That sounds unpleasant. And I'm the same, SOO scheduled and I do not see myself making it through the day w/o a nap. They nap for about 3 hours per day so I just cannot see this being okay. Honestly, I'd rather mess around w/ bedtime (They are out by 8:30 at latest.) than not having time during the day.

When I do the quiet time with the boys, whenever that is, I'm planning on still putting them in their beds w/ lights out and a few books or whatever. Sleep if you want but you have to be in there. That's my plan anyway