Nightime battles

I am at the end of my rope. I don't feel good, not sure if it is the start of the flu or cold, so my patience aren't that good to begin with. But I am so sick of the battle every night at bed with DD. She refuses to lay in her bed by herself, she refuses to have DH lay with her, she only wants mommy. I lay with her every night for atleast an hour.

I have finally just gotten into bed and am laying here listening to her and DH fight about going to bed, and her crying for mommy. It is breaking my heart, but I don't know what else to do. It isn't fair to DS or their older brother because she demands me.

Does anyone have any suggestions? DH wants to turn the doorknobs around and lock her in her room. I feel so mean for doing that.

 

The past week or so Hailey has not been wanting to sleep in her bed. Hannah lays down perfectly fine and so will Hailey, but within about 15 minutes we hear Hailey at the door, wanting to come out. She usually turns on the light, which keeps Hannah up so then they are both up. I wish I had some good advice but I'm kind of in the same boat, I've had to lay down with her in my bed to get her to sleep. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone! Hopefully somebody will have some good advice. :hug:

 

I don't know if you have a bedtime routine. but that helps my DD who has always struggled to go to sleep easily. Are you doing activities to help wind down before bed so that she is already sleepy when she gets in bed. It shoudl make the time she is awake shorter and make her happier instead of laying awake crying. We play a lullaby CD when they get into bed. Gives them something to focus on instead of wanting other things. It might also help to get ready in PJ, bath, teeth, etc and then read 2-3 books with her in bed so she has some time with you but you aren't actually laying by her as she goes to sleep.

As I don't know what you already do, you may already do all of these things. Just things that have helped at our house. Hope it gets better soon.

 

I'd do what your hubby suggests to be honest. DD has got into this habit of crying for me in the middle of the night now... we went in the first and second time, but now it's become a habit and it just can't continue. We've been going on 6 hours of sleep and we're exhausted. Last night we just let her cry. It sucked but if we give in, it will just make things worse. We're still in cribs so at least she's not going anywhere, but we're planning on leaving the door knob covers inside when we move them to twin beds (which we are in no rush to do).

 

I think these are all great ideas. :good:

If you don't want to leave her to cry/scream every night you could try a gradual withdrawal, change what you are doing in very small steps. Instead of lying down with her sit next to the bed and hold her hand or rub her back (so you are still right next to her and giving her physical contact). When she is used to and happy going to sleep like that-which could be a few nights or could be a week or two, it depends on her personality-start sitting next to her but not touching her. Again wait until she gets used to that and then you can gradually begin to either move the place you sit away from her bed towards the door (until you are sitting in the doorway/just outside) or to shorten the amount of time you sit in the room (until you have it down to only 10 or 15 minutes). I would combine that with the routine/calming activities/bedtime CD etc (if you don't already do them).

Good luck!

 

You are not alone!! It could be worse, believe me!!!!

It has become like a loony bin around here! My husband has been doing the bedtime routine for some time now because we have a 5 month old that I give a bath and get to bed at the same time. Somehow it has totally come undone! He generally stays in there for a long time after the whole bath and story routine. He sits in a chair and sing, tells more stories, etc.this in the past has gone on for a long long time. Then they started climbing out of their cribs and they could not get back in by themselves. So, we took the sides off. Some nights they will go to sleep fairly quickly with my husband always sitting there and sometimes it takes an hour or so. Tonight, off the wall. He finally ended up yelling at them to get back in their cribs (all this while he is sitting in the chair in the room) because they keep climbing out and turning on the light, etc.. So, I stepped in. I went in and told them that they need to stay in their cribs and I would be folding clothes in the hall, etc.. I would go back to check on them.... but , they started the same thing, climbing out, hanging on the gate and screaming and yelling to me. This is just total chaos.

We have tried so hard to give them everything that they need and want at bedtime since they were born. I would nurse them for hours on end, we would stay with them, etc...

All I can think is that this goes back to giving them too much power at bedtime. I think we are just going to have to lay down the rules and stick to it. Bedtime is time to go to bed. I don't know what else to do.