Needy 3 yr old issues

My twins are 3. J has ALWAYS been super clingy with me, whiney, etc unless I was carrying him around. He still constantly wants to be picked up and carried around the house. Unless I have him totally engaged in something he comes over to me and whines and screams at me to pick him up and carry him around. Even when I have him sitting down at the table he screams to sit on my lap. I literally get nothing done at all and he is driving me insane. Enough is enough. What can I do????! I feel I've tried everything from ignoring, time outs, talking calmly, yelling, re-directing, etc. NOTHING works. Agh. He's too darn heavy to be carrying around all friggin day.

 

No advice, but I can sympathize. Both of my boys loved to be carried around - still - and they continue to fight over my lap! I always tell them, "You are too heavy for me to be carrying you all over the house!" and they will say, "I know, I am getting big!". :laughing:

Tough love probably. Not picking him up when he demands it, letting him throw a fit when you say you can't pick him up, and staying consistent will probably eventually break the habit of him demanding to be held and carried all of the time. Or just let him get older, he'll give it up eventually! :lol:

Hang in there! :hug:

 

I agree with Jori! With my two I tell them that babies are the one who get carried and since they are big kids they have to walk. If my two had their way, they would never walk :laughing:

 

DD had a huge tantrum this morning because I wouldn't carry her down the stairs. Oh well. I ignore it, but yeah it's driving me insane.

 

It sounds like he has a very strong need for physical contact, and time-outs, redirecting, etc. aren't going to change that unless you can figure out some other way to meet that need. Have you tried having certain times of the day that are just devoted to him? Tell him you'll carry him around, let him sit on your lap, etc. for an hour right after breakfast (or whatever is convenient). But explain there are other times when you need to get things done and he needs to play by himself, or you are carrying laundry and can't carry him too, or whatever.

He might be too young to directly understand the trade-off (though, he may not be), but he might still be more willing to be independent if he can trust that there are some times during the day when he WILL get as much physical contact and attention as he wants. And it would be much less frustrating for both of you than spending the entire day fighting him off.

FWIW, my twins are 5 and Amy still wants to be carried around all the time. It's actually gotten easier to carry her now, because she weighs almost the same as when she was 3, but she's longer and skinner and she holds on a lot better! Our compromise is that IF I can carry her (if my back doesn't hurt, I'm not carrying something else, we're not going up any stairs, etc.), I will, but only until my arms get tired. Then I say "Down!" and she goes down. She knows that if she refuses to stand on her own feet after I say "Down!," she will not get picked up the next time she asks.

 

OMG! That's where we'll be in 2 years too, I'm sure. My girls barely walk, it's always "Carry me, carry me, carry me." I'm both too lazy and too permissive to say no very often. My big line in the sand these days is that I won't carry them at the same time much. . My Ergo helps a lot. When it's really bad, when they're sick or something, I sometimes carry them around the house in it while I'm doing what I need to.

You're not alone!

 

I would also discuss how you can't but have him choose times when you can. I would talk about how he isn't a baby and benefits he has as on older child. When I got pregnant just before my kids turned 3 I stopped carrying thema nd we talked about it. If DS wants me to hold him, which he does often, he will ask me to sit down and hold him for a while and I do and then it keeps him happy for the rest of the time. Good luck. I know it must be hard and frusterating. I know my kids do much better to talk about things ahead fo time and reason through why things have to happen.