Don't like pacifiers

I know this is going to sound weird to some of you but I can not stand pacifiers. No intention to offend anyone so PLEASE do not take it that way. I guess I have never liked them, when I was 3 I yanked one out of the mouth of a neighbor kids mouth and threw it on the floor and said "no no baby" So fast forward many years to my first baby and I didn't want to use a pacifier and it worked. She pacified herself and never took one. Then DS came... same thing although I think he used me a lot to pacify! Then DD # 2 I tried to give one because she was colicky and I wanted to try anything but she would not take it. DD # 3 never took one. Now to the twins. DS was spitting up.. alot. So I thought it was reflux or a milk aversion. After taking them to the Dr. today it seems that he is simply over eating. He gets plenty then he just sucks to pacify and gets more milk and spits it up. So the Dr. suggested a pacifier. I had bought 2 just in case but we have only tried it a few times with them and DD wont take it much and DS takes it for a bit. I hate the idea of giving it to them, maybe because I hate the idea of having to break them from it and having to get up in the night just to give it back to them. At night we are letting them fuss a bit and cry and they fall asleep after a few minutes and some reassurance from me. The Dr. said that at this age I can let them CIO a bit and they are fine. I have tried the paci a few times in desperation to stop the tears and get to sleep. Why can't I get past the idea of giving them a paci? I don't know how convinced I am that babies have to suck to settle themselves especially since I have not used 1 with 4 kids. I don't know what to do or how to change how I think about them especially if my DS really could use one. HELP.. ADVICE? But please don't come down on me for not liking them. I am not attacking those who use them at all. Sorry for the rant

 

I am not a big fan of paci's either, but I am all for whatever works. When you have twins screaming sometimes it is just really handy to have a guaranteed surefire way to soothe the second kid. I never really felt that it was fair to let them be upset and a paci worked, so we went with it. They were able to soothe themselves asleep with it which made a HUGE difference in our sleep training. It was a good tool.. just like bouncing them, rocking them, a lovey, or any other thing that they need to calm down.

I was also very worried about breaking the addiction and put it off for months.. finally at around 15 months I'd had enough and we just threw them away. There was a lot of tears the first night, and they haven't worried about them since. They won't even put one in their mouth now.

 

Maybe just use pacis initially and then give it to them less and less? The NICU used pacis on our boys a lot just to help them learn to suck and when they came home from the NICU we had tons of those silicone soother pacis laying around everywhere, and if they were fussy/colicky I didn't hesitate then to pop one in. But when our boys got to be around 4 or 5 months old they didn't seem to care that much about them. Now if they started screaming I would give them a paci while I rocked them and if they fell asleep I gently pulled the paci out of their mouth. But by the time our twins were 6 months they hardly took a paci at all, and I certainly didn't encourage them to do so, not after reading so many threads here from exasperated moms talking about doing the "paci shuffle" all night long! And to this day every time I read one of those threads I am so thankful my guys lost interest in them after a few months. I say use them now if they help, but don't give it to them if they are just mildly fussy or otherwise content. Then maybe as your LOs get older they will be better at soothing themselves and they won't even miss them. GL!

 

Pacis actually reduce SIDS risk. Not that you have to use them, but they can be a very good tool. My son was a paci fiend, and honestly it didn't set us back in sleeping really at all. He still has one for a few minutes when falling asleep at night because it's just not an issue to me. Use them or don't, but don't give yourself stress about them. They aren't evil and bad, and they aren't the saving grace of babyhood. They are just a thing. Honestly, I think we cause ourselves so much stress by having to have a stance on everything. If you don't like them, don't use them. And don't stress. If you want to try them, do. It will all be fine regardless. And the thing about "bad habits" that we all stress about? If that bad habit gives you months of good sleep and takes a few days of CIO to fix, wasn't it worth it? Especially since even kids with no "bad habits" seem to still have sleep issues? My son slept in a swing until 7 months. It took 2 nights to get him sleeping in a crib. Just make a call and go with what works for you.

 

I do not like them and have not used them.

 

I loathe pacifiers! They just look so unnatural to me.....however....I do think young babies have the urge to suck and that is when they are a useful tool. I always said mine could love a paci all they wanted until they hit 6 months then we are taking them away. The twins never really took them but Hannah has to have hers to fall asleep...we will be doing CIO in a couple days when DH will be able to be home to soothe bc I am breastfeeding and she will want to nurse if there is no paci.

I agree with pp...don't stress over it...he is still young enough that in a few months when the urge to suck goes down he may lose all interest in it.

 

I don't like them either. I didn't really care before I had kids, but after I had kids I developed a dislike for them. I didn't even have them in the house with my daughter. However, I do understand the desperation created by a fussy baby, and I wouldn't blame anybody for trying something to stop that. I know DH was gun ho to try them with the boys after a few crying episodes, and they just spit them out. One other option you can try is finger sucking; it is recommended over pacifiers in the first few weeks of nursing, and it might be helpful, but you have to have the patience.

 

i never gave any of my 3 the paci just for that reason! i don't need to be doing the paci shuffle all night long! mine try to suck their thumbs...its very cute. they have beetn sleeping 7-7 since 2 months (they were 2 months early) so right at due date

 

I'm totally with Rachael on this one. It's just a thing, if it works, great, if not, great. If you like it, great, if you don't like it, great, whatever decision you make is really inconsequential in the bigger scheme. I never stressed about it, they both took one until they were 3, and after 2 it was at night and naps only. It wasn't hard to take away. Just packed them all up and told them they were for a new baby. See you later, bye.

However I will say this is what influenced my decision to go with pacifiers: Sometimes babies need to suck more than they need to eat, i.e. sometimes just the sucking action is the pacifier, so whether they suck on fingers, thumbs, blankets or pacifiers, they need the sucking action. I chose pacifiers because you can take them away once the sucking action is no longer soothing. You cannot remove thumbs or fingers (well, you definitely SHOULDN'T remove them) and blankets aren't so easy to remove, pretty much everyone I know sleeps with a blanket or a sheet. I do know one adult thumb sucker who was too embarassed to go on a company trip because she was ashamed of sucking her thumb.

 

I am not a big paci fan but love the way they have given me breaks when I need them. My boys only get them in their cribs at night. If I see them sucking one any other time of day I take them away and drop them in the cribs. One boy uses them all the time the other one only uses them at nap time or night once in a while. As long as it is only at night or naptime and in their cribs I will let them keep using them.

 

How in the world did you get them to sleep that well? I would give anything for a solid 3 or 4 hours right now.

 

I just realized it wasn't clear when I said finger sucking, I meant your finger not theirs.

 

I know I am soo lucky but this is what I do/did:
1.) from day 1 I tried to help them sort out days and nights/ starting at 7:30 am I would open the blinds and bring them into the living room and feed them. Evan if they just ate at 6:30 and went back to sleep I would wake them and try to feed them again.
2.) I keep a chart of their daily formula intake, so I know what they need to take during the daytime in order to sleep 12 hours at night (they take approx 27-30 oz) They are gaining weight beautifully and ped says they get more than enough!
3.)I avoid overtiredness at all costs. They nap in their cribs after being awake for 90 minutes max.
4.) I know this is a big NO NO but they sleep on their bellies and it has saved my sanity :woah:
5.) I give them their bottle every 3 hourseven if I have to wake them from a nap. I really push to fill them up during the day.
6.)Routine: Put on sleep sack, sing a song, lay them down on their bellies when they are awake, but drowsy, pat their bottoms and walk out. I let them fuss for 3-4 minutes and they usually go out like a light (i found this out on accident that they would fuss themselves to sleep) If they do not fall asleep I go back in and pat their bottoms every 3 minutes.

I have a 2 yo DD that I have to care for as well during the day and 3 hours of interrupted sleep was just not cutting it. I really thought I was going to lose my mind the first month or so that they were home :drown: . I was here by myself at night bcause my DH works nights and the twins only went about 2-2.5 hours between feeds round the clock. That means about an hour for momma in betwen feeds. I knew it was gonna be hard on me so I started implementing a "routine" from the get go Hope something in here helps. This biggest things for me are the daily chart of their intake and belly sleeping (Blushing). :blush:

 

I am not a big fan of pacifiers, but my twins do take them and it has helped. I was more willing to give them paci's because I have a three year old that still sucks his thumb. Thumb sucking is such a hard habit to break. His pedi says eventually he will quit due to social pressure, but that could be a ways off. I also know of an adult who is still a thumbsucker...I figure it will be easier to get rid of a pacifier than convincing a preschooler to stop sucking their thumb.

 

murtygirl-how old are you twins?

 

My little ones do take a paci and we were doing the paci shuffle at night but we also started letting them sleep on their stomachs and they are now sleeping anywhere from 8-10 hours straight at night at 8 weeks old. What we have noticed now is that they only use them to go to sleep and once there they don't need them again all night. It has completely saved me though! The 90 minute awake intervals work for my DD but not for my son so we do what works for him, which is 2-3 longer naps throughout the day.

 

Hi KeriU...they are 4 1/2 months. They were born on Aug 14th at 31 weeks to the day. Ike weighs 15lbs on the nose as of last week and Lucy is a little over 14. They were 3lb 10 oz and 4lbs 10 oz at birth.

 

I didn't want to use a pacifier either but my DH persuaded me I couldn't be nursing her all day...at 6 months (and teeth) we took it away pretty much cold turkey and she doesn't suck on her thumb at all.

 

The problem I have with pacifiers is the word BINKIES. :laughing:

Anyways... I had no feeling either way. They work, great. They don't, well what the heck am I going to do?!!? :laughing:

I'm with Rachael. If it works-great. If not, no big deal. My boys had them. They had them mostly for sleeping. They got attached to them a bit more when they got older. They never used them out in public and it was mostly for sleeping, and comfort. They NEVER woke to find a pacifier. Ever. Around 19 months, when Annabella was born, we told them they had to give up their pacifiers and give them to the baby. They were big kids now, and babies use them, not them. There was never an issue of them having withdrawals or anything. It was a done deal and we haven't looked back.

So-whatever you choose-it's what works for YOU. If it helps with his sucking-so be it. And if it helps for a few months, great! And to do a few days of CIO or whatever vs a few months of no sleep/constant eating, or whatever, it might be worth it. But in the end-it's what works for YOUR family. Not mine or anyone else's. Good luck!

 

My DH thought I was saying Patsy's instead of Paci's so that is what we call them in our house. The boys have their Patsy's.

 

Priceless!!! :rotflmbo:

 

I had a whole reply typed out yesterday and it didn't go through. anyway, the main thing I was going to say, was that pacifiers work for some and not for others... I was happy to have the extra sanity of having the kids soothe without having to be rocked by me or whatever... my ds soon realized he loved the paci from the hospital... so we gave all 4 that we had (since we'd have to mail order more) to him. when my dd finally took a paci after 4 months we just gave her a different brand.

one thing I liked about pacis was that I hoped that they wouldn't want to suck their fingers/thumbs. you can't cut that off as easy as throwing away a paci when you want.

so, you mentioned a little while ago that what you really wanted was some sleep... I had GREAT results with following "The Happiest Baby on the Block" theories on the "5 Ss"

website link
Chapter 8 – The 1st “S” – Swaddling? A feeling of pure “wrap”ture
Chapter 9 – The 2nd “S” – Side (or, Stomach)? Your baby’s “feel-good” position
Chapter 10 – The 3rd “S” – Shhhh…Your baby’s favorite soothing sound
Chapter 11 – The 4th “S” – Swinging…Moving in rhythm with your baby’s needs
Chapter 12 – The 5th “S” – Sucking…The “icing on the cake”

anyway, at week 5 we re introduced Swaddling - VERY tightly so they couldn't get out, and immediately that night they slept through their 2a feed!!

a couple of weeks later I was desperate one night and got the white noise cd out from the DVD that I'd bought and played the white noise in their room, that really settled them too.

by 8 wks they were sleeping 8 hrs... basically those are the 2 things we did for sleep time.

I also tried to make sure that they weren't totally asleep when we put them back in their cribs. so that they could learn to fall asleep on their own. what it was that we did, it worked. we didn't have to rock to sleep or hold to sleep and they slept really well.

one other thing... my dd also gulped while breastfeeding and then would keep sucking for a while then she'd throw up on me! UGH!!!! anyway, I realized that she was overfeeding, and if I stopped her at 10 min. she was fine and not starving still...

as for disliking pacis... well, we mainly used them for "needs"... not just to pacify... like they didn't have pacis in all day at home or when we were out & about... but if they were truly sleepy and cranky they'd get one and especially they would sleep with them b/c I'd heard the part of it reducing SIDS too.

good luck with figuring out what's right for your family!