Reduced Movement--Please Don't Wait to Get Checked Out

******LOSS IS MENTIONED******

An acquaintance had been feeling reduced movement in her full-term baby. She delayed going to the doc because baby's heart rate (on the home monitor) seemed fine. Baby did not make it.

Please please please get your butt to the doc ASAP if you feel reduced movement late in your pg. You can get specific guidelines from your doc as to what counts as reduced movement. A home doppler showing the heartrate is OK should not delay your seeking help because by the time the heartrate slows, it can be too late to save the baby. Reduced movement can be an early warning sign of stillbirth so please take it seriously before it is too late.

Thank you.

 

now you scare me!!!!!

I am concern about do nor feeling one baby!!!!!

 

You're 24 weeks--a lot of women don't feel movement in both at 24 weeks! It's still early

But later on--and ask your doc for details, often they use 28 weeks as the time frame--you will want to start paying attention to their movement and doing "kick counts."

 

It's quite common to think you're feeling one baby and it's really the other and depending on their position and where your placenta is, you might not feel the second baby as much. There's such a jumble and mess of limbs in there late in pregnancy that you can't tell who's who. The very best thing you can do is make sure that you go to your weekly doctors' appointments (in late pregnancy) and don't ever hesitate to call or go to the hospital at any hour if you think anything is wrong. Chances are overwhelmingly good for you that everything will go right though :hug:

 

I went in three or four times during my pregnancy for checks after I felt reduced movement. It was fine every time, but no one ever made me feel silly about it, and it sure did make me feel better! I definitely agree - if you're concerned, just go in.

 

If you ever have doubts, call the doctor and go in. My doctor told me that she used to always tell her patients to pay attention to kick counts. I asked her about it for me. She laughed. She said that once she got pregnant, she threw the whole "kick counts" out the window. She said she would work all day and feel nothing. Add to it twins for me, and well-it is quite difficult to know who and what is what!

If you ever question anything, for sure call the doctor. But like Jen said, most likely, everything is fine.

 

Catmommy, I realize you are trying to help but I do think this post is a bit scary and anxiety producing for those who are pregnant. 2 things that are not healthy or productive.
I also think it implies it is your friend's fault that her baby did not make it because she did not seek medical care asap. I hope she is not given the same message.

Yes, if you ever have concerns, one should not delay in contacting their doctor.

 

I Totally agree with this. I almost never felt my twin A. Having twins really complicates this issue but a doctor can answer any concerns you may have.

 

I agree. I NEVER felt my Baby B- she was up under my ribs, I had a front placenta that muffled her movements. There is no way I could tell 'which' twin was which when moving in the middle/bottom portion of my belly. I had NO movement and the top due to her head wedged in there. My also were not big 'movers' to begin with.

Talk to your DR. They are the best person to advise you in your unique situation..

 

Everything is so different with twins, and much harder to tell which baby is moving. But I do remember with my oldest (single baby) that my OB said he'd been having people do kick counts daily after 26 weeks for about 10 years. And since he started doing that, he hadn't had any of his patients have a stillborn baby. Which, of course, is not to say that it's still not possible for other reasons. But talk to your doctor about what's right for your individual situation. And if you have any questions or concerns, call or go in. They want you to have a safe and happy pregnancy!

 

I think any concerns you have no matter how minor you think they are, if they worry you, it can never hurt to call the doctor. I know when I was pregnant with the twins, I felt baby B much more then I did baby A. When I mentioned it to my OB, he told me that's because her placenta is to the front and she is moving in there but that we are not going to feel her as much as Baby B.

 

First of all, she is not a friend. She is an acquaintance. And while it is not her "fault" that her baby died, the bottom line is that if she had sought medical care promptly, and not the next day, her baby would be alive. Period. She has to deal with that for the rest of her life. I have no intentions of rubbing that in her face--I have already expressed my sympathy.

But, I don't want anyone else to have to go through this. A twin pregnancy is high risk--period. Even in a perfect twin pg, things can go very wrong very quickly (in fact, we've seen it happen here on these boards and I have also seen it IRL). And women pg with twins need to be aware of that and need to be aware of the warning signs of possible problems. No it is not pleasant to think about when you are pg, but it is reality. As I said before, pg women should discuss it with their docs.

No question that "who's who" makes kick counts more of a challenge for twin moms, but that is all the more reason for women to discuss the situation with their docs.

 

wow - you can't actually know that. stillbirths happen for many reasons, and not all of them are preventable. your aquaintance is going to have a hard time grieving & processing this & will probably have "what if" thoughts for the rest of her life, but i hope she is able to heal from this in her own time & know that she made the best decision she could at the time with the information she had - and no one could ask anything more of her, or of any of us.

 

Interesting. I don't know one doctor that could say for sure, period, what would have happened if she called her doctor a day earlier.

What's your degree in? Prenatal care? What medical school did you go to? Where do you practice?

 

I understand how scary pregnancy can be, I know I read a ton online about stillbirths to try and educate myself about what to look for - but you can not say that her baby would be alive. It's not your place and the fact that you are even thinking that is probably being communicated to her. Even if she is just an "acquaintance" i hope you can be a friend to her, I can't imagine what she is going through right now.

 

Any pregnancy loss is tragic and senseless, but unfortunately they're not all predictable or preventable. I feel for your acquaintance because she will probably always feel guilt about how things went but there really is no way to know that if she had gone to the dr earlier things would have turned out differently. There are so many what ifs.. you just can't control everything. I am guessing that if she's an acquaintance you don't know all the ins and outs of her pregnancy or the stillbirth and all she may be communicating to anyone right now is her regret about not going to the doctor earlier. Of course in hindsight she's going to say that she should have gone earlier and that she had reduced movement... I can only imagine all the scenarios going through her mind right now. All she needs though is compassion, not anyone second guessing her actions.

 

Actually, I think saying that the baby would have made it is a horrible thing to say. You don't know that, you aren't a doctor.

However, I will agree that listening to your gut is the most important thing. Any woman who is pregnant who feels that something is wrong needs to stand up for herself and be heard.

 

Agreed that women should go to their doctors and not wait when something seems off or just "not right". I always thought better safe than sorry when I was pregnant with my twins.

But, how do you know that even if she HAD gone in to her doctor asap that anything would have even showed up as being wrong? There is NO way that anyone could 100% predict on that day, nevermind know in hindsight that a tragedy like this would happen. I had a friend who went through a full term still birth of her baby boy last year and she still doesn't know what the cause is nor if there was any way that it could have been prevented. I hope that your "acquaintance" is getting lots of love and support from other people who aren't judging her. So sorry for her loss.

 

I think this post was written in bad taste and frankly it's really rude and judgemental. You definitely can not say that if she had gone in sooner her baby would be alive. Period.
What a horrific thing to say. I sure am glad she is only your aquaintance and not your "friend". Would hate to see how you treated your "friends". She LOST A BABY. She is going through one of the hardest things in life and needs SUPPORT, LOVE, and UNDERSTANDING right now. Not people pretending to be sympathetic, then going and talking behind her back as if it's HER fault.

I can say from personal experience that my girlfriend went in for a weekly NST as usual, baby was FINE - totally moving, etc. Next day was her scheduled c-section. She went in and there was no heartbeat. Baby passed away overnight.

So for you to be so insensitive really hits a nerve with me. As clearly from what I just shared, those who go in and get checked and are cleared medically, can still have fatalities.

I will add your "acquaintance" to my thoughts and prayers. Especially losing a child at the holiday season. My heart bleeds for her.

 

Hindsight is 20/20. I am sure, in life, there are things that each and everyone of us have overlooked that could have ended up tragic. Maybe that stiff neck our child is complaining of is not a stiff neck but meningitis. Maybe that fever they've had for a few days is leukemia, not a virus. Maybe that stomachache is their appendix, not a flu bug or constipation. We have no way of knowing what is *really* going on, but we do our best to make the best decisions we can. Is someone to blame if they assumed their child's stiff neck was from sleeping on the floor for a few nights, only to rush the the ER a few days later when they are deathly ill from meningitis? I don't think so.

What a horribly devastating tragic thing for your "acquaintance" to go through. I have only known a few people who have lost a full term baby and it was absolutely devastating. I hope that she does not pick up on your blame and obvious disgust for the way she handled her feeling of reduced fetal movement. How many people have thought, "Did I feel my baby move much today?" when they lay down at night? Many. And they go on to have healthy babies. There is no way to say that her baby could have been saved. :cry:

 

I do hope that no one reading this has experienced a stillbirth or even miscarriage. Any parent that has lost a child puts enough guilt on themselves. I think your heart was in the right place not wanting to hear of anyone else going through it but there are no guarantees about anything. My mother had a stillbirth and carried guilt about it till the day she died even though the baby had other issues that wouldn't have been compatible with life.

 

There is extreme guilt even with a miscarriage. We lost our baby prior to the twins. We were early on and went on vacation to Spain and lost the baby there. You can imagine my guilt.. Maybe it was something I ate, what if I wasn't sleeping enough, was it all the walking we did... I must have done something. Even after the assurance from my OB who said that there was NOTHING I did t cause it, the guilt and pain remained. We still morn that baby even after having our beautiful twins. Just the other night my DH and I cried for that baby knowing that we wouldn't have our twins. There are certain things people who have lost a baby don't want to hear and "what if's" are one of them.. we do that enough ourselves. I did go get checked as soon as I thought I didn't feel right, but it didn't matter. The best thing anyone said to me was "I am sorry" nothing more and nothing less. Even having gone through a loss I would never assume what someone else who is experiencing a loss feels. Just love and sympathy that is all.

 

I agree with this. Heck, it happened to me, too (not going to Spain). If I would have had the baby I miscarried, I wouldn't have my boys today. It's still a sadness that is carried with you, though, & although in spirit I definitely agree with if something doesn't feel right, go get checked out, it's time to be compassionate, not quietly judgmental, for that woman who lost her baby.

 

I agree also. The guilt is unbelievable. My dh and I were building the kids playset when the drill accidentally drilled into my finger. We decided at the ER that I needed a tetanus shot. I was pregnant, but didn't know it yet. (long story) We found out a couple days later I was pregnant. At my first ultrasound about 2 weeks later, the heart was not beating. I was 12 weeks or so. When they did the DNC, the pathology report indicated the fetus was 9-10 weeks. It died right around the time I got the shot. I was told there was a chance that was the cause. The Dr. was sure to say "chance" because we will never know, but that alone sent me into a dark place of guilt and blame.

This poor woman just lost a baby. She is grieving. She will never know why her child passed away. She will replay in her mind every single thing she might have done that could have potential led to the loss of her child. I think the idea of someone blaming her, even in their mind, is horrible. I am sorry, but it is. I am sure she already wonders what people think of her, she probably is telling herself that others are talking about her, blaming her. To know that she is right is just a sad commentary on the lack of compassion shown in this thread.

 

This warning may be well intended but its seriously just ASININE and will probably just freak a lot of pregnant women out for no reason. Reduced movement in a full term pregnancy is a normal occurance as the baby runs out of room. There were many times I felt decreased movement at the end of my pregnancies.