New mom to twins needs some advice.

Hi! I'm a new mom to the forum. We have twin 6wk old girls and we need some help. My girls were born 6wks premature and we took them home after 2 wks in the NICU. The NICU had them on a schedule, but took them off before they came home. I know they might be too young for a schedule, but one of my girls hardly sleeps. We feed both of them at roughly the same time, but Kaylyn fusses for a long time after. For example: I fed her at 220pm, she stayed awake for an hour and acted as if she wanted to eat more...I tried to give her a little more and she didn't want it. She then began to fuss a lot, so I tried to do some infant massage/tummy time to calm her...she ended up getting worse. I held her and she fell asleep, I put her in a car seat (this seems to help her) but she only slept for 15 minutes. Then began to scream again. I transferred her to a swing, she screamed harder. I then tried to change her diaper. (She hates being wet) But to no avail...she keeps screaming/crying. This went on for almost 3 hours. (This also happens at night...usually from 9pm-12am)

This scenario happens a lot. Sometimes she falls asleep right before her next feeding or she screams/cries on and off for 3hrs. What to do??

Both girls are on Neosure formula due to their prematurity. They seemed to do well on it in the NICU, so I don't know if it's a formula issue or not?


We give her a nuk to help calm her, but she spits it out after we stop holding it. She seems to be alright when held, but we also can't hold her all the time.

 

Hmmm, i don't think i can be much help but maybe reflux could be starting??? If she gets especially fussy after eating it could be gas or reflux, is she spitting up at all? It could also be that she is just becoming more aware of her enviroment and is just fussy. Mine were fussy starting around 6weeks(2weeks adj) until about 12weeks, mostly at night though. I remember just sitting on the couch holding one and the other was in a boppy and I was holding a paci in her mouth and all 3 of us were crying. hang in there mama, your in the worst of it and it will get better!

 

:hug: Mama!! And congratulations on the birth of your girls! You have come to the right place!!! I'm going to ask a few questions to see what you may be doing/trying:

1.) Are they swaddled? Some kids love it, others hate it. That could be something to try to calm her down.

2.) Does she have reflux issues? Gassy? It seems like she could be bothered by the formula or something.

3.) Are you trying to put them down within 60 minutes of waking? That's about all they can handle, if that, at this age. They tire out pretty quickly! She may last only 45 minutes, or even 30.

4.) How much are you putting in her bottle? Maybe if you up it half an ounce vs stopping and making more, that could help, if she truly is hungry.

To me though, not having expert advice, lol, it seems like she could have some reflux and that's bothering her. Which to me would seem why the carseat helps, because she is upright. With the swing, maybe if you leave it still, she may like that?

 

Thanks! Glad to know I'm not the only mom that is crying along with them! She is mostly fussy at night...she just started being fussy during the day...hope that doesn't stay.

 

Thanks! Here are the answers to the questions...I appreciate your time!
1. The girls liked to be swaddled in the NICU, so we bought swaddlers. Now, they seem to kick out of them.
2.Both my girls are gassy. I have bought gas drops, but they don't seem to be doing much good.
3.We do put them down within an hour after eating...Kaylyn will fall asleep sometimes, but when we put her down, she wakes up. It seems to lead to over stimulation, which leads to no sleep.
4.I'm putting 4oz in her bottle...she usually doesn't finish the whole thing before she falls asleep in my arms, then she wakes up and acts as if she wants more after an hour.

I'm going to look into the reflux. My son had that when he was born. Thanks again...I will try the swaddling again.

 

:hug: This is the hardest part!! And it feels like it'll never get better, but it does. We're only at 6 months, but its already so much better since the reflux, crying, fussiness has decreased a lot!!

If she likes to be swaddled, have you tried the Miracle Blanket? I doubt she'd be able to break out of that. My almost 6 month old can't kick out of it.

Since they were preemies and are only 2 weeks adjusted, they probably still need to eat every 2 hours. I would definitely talk to your doctor about reflux. My guys have it and zantac worked great for us. Both my twins had really fussy stages- C needed to be held ALL the time until almost 3 months. I ended up carrying him in a Hotsling just to get things done. At around 7 weeks, E started screaming all day long. It finally stopped when I switched him to Alimentum. It made all the difference for him.

Hang in there, though. Now that they're over their fussy periods, I get compliments all the time about what happy babies they are. :hug:

 

Thanks so much for the advice...we will talk to the doctor this week! :thanks:

 

You have already gotten excellent advice from the ladies. I would also maybe try a little heat on her tummy when she is swaddled. One of my boys, Nathaniel, had colic, and what helped him was being swaddled with a baby magic sac on his tummy. He would settle almost instantly and go to sleep.

It does get better. Hang in there and congrats!

 

Reflux came to mind. DS was like that and he would only settle being held or being in his swing. Just an FYI, if your doc puts the kids on zantac and you don't see an improvement fairly soon (a few days) then just know that it doesn't work for all kids and in fact in some it causes a rebound of symptoms. If that happens another med, and the one that worked for us, is called prevacid.

Good luck!! You are in the thick of things but it WILL get better. I spend several nights in tears along with them thinking WTF have we all gotten ourselves into!!!

 

Definitely look into the reflux, but you may also want to consider sensitivity to milk. Our boys had both and it sounds a lot like what you are dealing with. Nutramigen formula plus Prevacid for reflux is what worked for us. The good news is, it doesn't last forever! Our boys are off their reflux meds completely, and we have given them yogurt the last two days and they seem just fine. (they are also sensitive to eggs and soy, but we haven't tackled seeing if they have outgrown those yet!)

 

Reflux and Colic. Try running the vacuum when she's crying. IF it stops it-- it's colic. If it works, order the vacuum noise cd from Amazon.com and put that on repeat! It will save your life.

My twins had colic and I almost didn't live through it. (I'm not kidding.) They also had reflux but the difference is, they pulled away from bottle WHILE eating. Nic had silent reflux and it was painful WHILE eating. Gabe had projectile puke reflux so he would just barf up th entire bottle all over me and the house. Fun!

The colic tho is REALLY horrible. My boys never slept and honestly cried 12 hours per day.

Also, the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Order it. It will REALLLLY help you.

Try the vacuum noise and avoid overtiredness at all costs!!! Make sure she is not awake longer than 45 minutes at a time and I know that is hard when she's crying but TRY!!

I'm sorry this is happening. It's soo hard. Keep us posted! And the good news is, if it is colic, it will end at 12 weeks ADJUSTED. GL!

 

Thank you so much! My girls do stop crying when I vacuum, but I thought that was from the NICU...good to know it's probably a sign of colic. Had no idea they had a cd of it!

We found out that Kaylyn "might" have a virus, but the doc isn't ruling out colic, reflux, or a milk intolerance or all the above. We are trying soy now. She is sleeping better, but not sure if that is due to her having a virus? Guess we will wait and see.

My husband went back to work and I'm all alone from 3pm-12am, there are days I just want to cry/scream/throw something. It's so great to hear other parents get upset and I am not the only one going threw this. (And I have an 8 year old that needs help with homework, poor kid has to usually wait or tell me his problems while I'm feeding or trying to calm one of the girls.)
:thanks:

 

:thanks:

Went to doctor and he is trying to figure out what the issue is...could be a virus, colic, reflux or milk sensitivity. We have switched her to soy...seems to be helping. (it's only been 24 hours, but she seems to be more calm. )

 

I have to tell you I have had the WTF moment! I just said that last week. This is NOT easy job! I'm so glad I have this forum to discuss my feelings because some of my friends think I have Post-Pardum..I don't. I might be overwhelmed, but I'm not depressed or wishing they weren't born. There is a difference.

 

Thanks...we have gotten away from swaddling because we thought they were getting to restless in the swaddlers...we will give it a shot!

 

Thanks for the advice! I'm not sure if I responded to you, but it's nice to know I'm not the only mom crying when they do! Kaylyn's doctor is looking into reflux, colic, and a milk intolerance. We will get it figured out sometime...hopefully sooner than later!

 

You are welcome. I am glad your doc is trying to figure it out. Crying babies are never fun

 

My DD starting getting really fussy at about 6 weeks old. It lasted 5-9 hours at a time. I have been taking her to a pediatric chiropractor and put her on a probiotic for babies. She is doing so much better! It is something to look into if other things don't work.

 

I'm glad your doctor is working with you and I hope your little one is starting to feel better. I have a few suggestions to share.

One of our boys has reflux as well as a tendency toward gassiness. When he is gassy it really seems to help if we bicycle his legs for him while he is lying on his back. It calms him down and I think it moves the gas around, and sometimes out, giving him relief. Sometimes burping helps too, even if it's been an hour or more since he ate, if he is gassy then sometimes a few pats on the back will cause him to burp again and will soothe him.

We have tried the NeoSure formula and it made him much more gassy then Enfamil's version, Enfacare. The Similac Neosure was foamier and would even create more bubbles in the bottle while he was eating. We had to stop using it and go back to Enfacare.

You mentioned that your baby falls asleep while feeding - maybe try holding her away from your body, so she's laying back on your forearm and resting on your knees facing you, so she isn't feeling so comfortable and cozy. I'd also remove a blanket if she is wrapped up. It may help her to stay alert for the full feeding.

 

Someone else mentioned probiotics - those really helped our guys. You can just mix it in their bottles once a day. We use these from our local health food store, but you can also order online: http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=primadophilus+children&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=14947909738528546500&ei=nRoITZCyEcL88Ab_3rCWAQ&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCwQ8wIwAg#

Hopefully the soy will help you - but they could also be intolerant to soy. It is fairly common - called MSPI (milk and soy protein intolerance). It took us about 3-4 days with the soy to know it wasn't going to work, and that is when we switched to Nutramigen. Hopefully you don't have to do that because it is very expensive, but it was SO worth it for us!

Another thing to consider - our guys could not tolerate powdered formula. There are a small number of babies like that, so you may also consider trying the premixed formula if you are using powder (again, more expensive, but also worth it if it helps). Many doctors say there is no difference between the powder and premade. Of the three doctors in the practice we go to, two said there is no difference, and one said there is. From our experience, I believe that for a very small number of babies, it matters, and our guys were like that. Even once we got on the Nutramigen to combat the MSPI, they still couldn't do powder.

Just wanted to give you a few more things to think/ask about if what you are doing now doesn't help. It took us a LONG time to figure all this out - I really wish I had found this forum in the early days because maybe we could have sorted it out a lot sooner!!

 

I might have to look into that...my girl has been up since her 430 feeding..and it's 10pm now. I decided to give her a bath at 530 to see if that would help her sleep. She projectile vomited after I gave her a bath. She was then starving, but I could only give her a little at a time (due to doctors orders) and yet she refused to sleep. She would scream in spurts and they were blood curdling! Then she just seem to stop on a dime and be quiet. I don't understand this. She has been crying/screaming for the last 90 minutes and it has gotten so bad I had to blow in her face because she was gasping for breath. (this happened several times)

I found myself yelling at my son because I was so frustrated/upset at the fact that she wouldn't calm down and I couldn't console her. Something has got to give.

 

It really sounds like she has reflux. I would talk to her Ped to see if they can get her on some meds.

 

I am so sorry you are going through that! I know it is tough especially with other kids to have to take care of as well. It would not hurt to see a Pediatric chiropractor if you aren't opposed to it. Just make sure it is a pediatric certified one. They are very gentle with what they do, but it usually works. It has helped my son with his reflux and with my daughter concerning her extremely fussy periods. I have been able to avoid getting reflux medication as the chiropractor has helped greatly. If my daughter has any fussy period it is like 30 minutes long which is a great improvement from the endless hours!
When your daughter is that fussy you could try infant massage while holding her. Just experiment with different motions and areas. My daughter likes to have firm massage on her lower back...that instantly calms her down and puts her to sleep.

 

Hang in there! You're in the roughest part!

We tried various things and sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. Ultimately, they were just colicky babies. Some nights swaddling was great. Sometime they liked their swings (rarely!). Often they liked going for walks, maybe it just distracted them, or the crying wasn't so bad outside!

I called the doc at one point and explained how if I was holding our son Ted he was happy, but I just couldn't do it all day and be sane. She said to wear him. So we did.

Congratulations on your little ones. Twin babies are the ultimate blessing.

 

Thank you...we will be heading there next if the meds don't work. Last night we took her to the ER because she couldn't keep anything down. They really thought it was pyloric stenosis. It turned out not to be...but that didn't help because we are back to square one. I finally got her to sleep and she has been fussy since 830am (it's 330 now)
I've been to her pediatrician 3 times this wk and a trip to the ER and no answers except trial and error. My head is pounding, my legs are weak, and if I have one full meal it day..that is a lot. I know it will pass, it's just overwhelming right now.

 

Boy, does your situation sound like mine! One day the swing will work and other days it's the devil! I might have to buy a carrier for her to keep me sane. :thanks:

 

We went through a spell of that with our boys when their reflux was really bad. What we did was give them Pedialyte, and that seemed to really help. For the first two hours, they got 1.5 oz. every 15 min. Then they got 2.5 oz. and we put them to bed (since it was evening), and the pedi said anytime they woke up at night, give them 2.5 oz. of pedialyte. The next day, we were supposed to slowly reintroduce formula. That seemed to do the trick for us. I would suggest calling your regular pedi and see what they say - they specialize in children's issues and may have different ideas than an ER doc.

 

I am so sorry to read about your struggles Our boys were preemies and were sent home on Neosure, and 2 or 3 weeks after that all hell broke loose. They were definitely colicky as well as had reflux. Here are some things that helped our guys:

1) Cocyntal Colic Relief vials. Prior to these we tried mylicon gas drops, gripe water, Colic Calm, etc and NOTHING worked except these vials. I knew their tummies would be hurting them because I could hear their stomachs gurgle while they screamed, and I swear by these vials for gas pains (though every baby is different!).
2) When the boys started screaming inconsolably for any length of time I used this trick which worked 90% of the time: swaddle them up tight and place them in a bouncy seat in a dark bathroom with only a night light on, then turn the tub water on nearly full blast. The sound of rushing water usually hushed them right up within a minute or so and they were usually asleep within less than 5 minutes. I will say that trick usually worked better when it was just one baby (because sometimes the other would keep screaming riling up the other) but it has worked for both screaming simultaneously before.
3) Prevacid. I had previously read on here from a lot of moms that zantac didn't help their babies, or it did only for a while because it was so sensitive to weight gain. But prevacid worked GREAT for DS1 with moderate reflux (DS2 only had mild reflux).
4) Thickened formula. That helped both babies and was all that DS2 needed to control his mild reflux.

Hang in there and I hope things improve soon!! :youcandoit:

 

Thank you for the advice. I am willing to try anything!I have never heard of the Colic vials-any idea where to find them?
We have gone back to swaddling. It seems to help a bit, but not 100%. Yet, it's better than nothing! We will get one of the girls asleep, but the other one is still up and they seem to wake each other up. Not sure how we are ever going to get them sleeping in the same room. (My husband and I haven't slept in our bed since they have been home. Addyson (the older one) was on a apnea monitor and we wanted to be close to her, so we took up in the living room and haven't been able to get back to our room!) Both my girls wake up periodically and cry while they are still sleeping..the problem is when one of them wakes up doing this the other does too. We simply can't get good rest. :headbang:

I find it so interesting that they seem to tolerate the Neosure at the hospital, but it changes when they are home. It's good to know someone else this happened too...I thought it was all in my head! :wacko:

 

See if you can find this DVD at your library or at a used media store http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Longer/dp/B0006J021C/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1292700283&sr=8-4

This DVD saved my sanity. My girls also cried non-stop from about 5pm-10pm every night starting at 3 weeks. It was terrible. My sister had this DVD and it was amazing. Kaydee was super fussy and this was the only thing that could calm her. I also used the miracle blankets. They were amazing. I used them for 16 weeks. Totally worth the expense!

 

I first found those Cocyntal vials for colic at my local natural foods store. Once I realized that they worked for our boys I started buying them 4 boxes at a time from Amazon, where they were cheaper.

We also didn't swaddle all the time, mostly when they were colicky/fussy. I also recommend miracle blankets like a PP. I think if we would have had those in the beginning we would have swaddled all along. We didn't get a miracle blanket until the boys were 4 months old and used it for a couple of months before selling it.

I too found it odd that our boys tolerated Neosure fine for 8 weeks in the NICU then shortly after we brought them home their little tummies couldn't handle it anymore. But I've seen several other preemie moms post similar experiences. And not only did they have awful tummy pains but they were soooo constipated. That was something we struggled with for a couple of months and played the "formula roulette" game trying various formulas for a week or two at a time until we found one that they seemed to tolerate ok. It was frustrating for sure!!

 

Thanks! We don't have the miracle blankets but we have something very similar. The only difference is that ours doesn't wrap their arms inside.
We are playing the "formula roulette"...one is on Neosure (but she is not constipated, she has green diarrhea)and the other is on soy. Not sure if we are done playing the "game" tho.
:thanks:

 

I just talked to my husband about the DVD and he was already on it...he found it on Netflix and had already ordered it for us. :ibiggrin:
We have something similar to miracle blankets. The only difference is that there are no arm folds in ours. We can wrap their arms inside, but no flaps to secure them. Do you think this would make a difference?
:thanks:

 

Have you tried nutramigen or alimentum? (I haven't read through the whole thread, so forgive me if you've discussed this!). What made me think of it was the green diarhea.. one of my boys had this and was fussy and when we switched him to nutramigen he was a new kid in 24 hrs. The difference was amazing.