Preschool problems...

My boys are 4 and I started them in Preschool every Mon, Wed, & Fri for 2 1/2 hrs. They love it but there are 2 classes of 12 and the teachers say that they tattle on and "pick" at each other and they wanna separate them. I know it is only for 2 1/2 hours 3 times a weeks but they cry when they go and wanna be together. I have had talks with them and told them that they will get separated if they they keep it up. They separated them for about 2 weeks and it was miserable. Walker cried the next week and they put them back together...What would you do if you were me? It's a hard decision to make.... :unknw:

 

We haven't separated in classes yet but their prek teacher is advising it. They cannot be seated near each othe not because the are mean but because they can't keep their hands off each other! Maybe it's more of a teacher problem than a kid problem. Have you tried both in the other class? Some teachers just can't handle twins. I know the girls have been in some classes with teachers who don't.

 

IMO it's usually best to separate, but if they keep crying... ugh. I really don't know what I would do, but I guess I'd try again for a week or two to see how it goes.

 

I'm pretty sure your boys are as smart as mine and maybe they are crying because they know if they do they will get reunited. :unsure:

Mine will be starting preschool in January and I want them seperated. I have a VERY dominant one that just takes control of the other.

I would give it at least another few weeks. Hopefully they will soon realize that once class is over with, they will see each other again.

 

I have a fantastic preschool teacher who has both of the girls together, but has them in different groups and at different tables within the room. This has worked great, the girls still see each other and have that comfort, but yet can participate with a different set of kids in the classroom while they do their little stations. They have been able to interact with different kids and make a different set of friends while in the same classroom. If I were in your shoes, I would see if they could be placed in different groups within the classroom...sit at different tables, etc, before trying to separate again. If that still doesn't work, then maybe separation would be good for them.

 

You're in a bind now because they started out in the same class.. it would be different if they started out in different classes. EEK.

Now it's going to be a nightmare to split them up because it's going to seem negative no matter what.

You'll prob need to keep them together in that class, keep them together in another class or split them up in 2 diff classes.

I don't envy you.

My boys will be together forever. I won't ever split them up. And it would infuriate me if a teacher or anyone asked me to!

GL!

 

I agree with the PPer who said they are probably crying to get their way. If they are disrupting each other and the class, then it is a problem for everyone. And if the teacher has to spend more time with them because of their behavior, it isn't fair to the other kids in the class either. My guess is that they have tried ways to separate them in the classroom and it hasn't worked. Believe me, no teacher wants to move a child mid-year unless there is a real reason. And now, the boys have learned that if they cry enough, they will get what they want. What you may want to do is set it up so after Christmas break, they will go to their own classrooms. Build it up over the next month, on how they can make new friends. They will be able to share with each other after class, etc. You will probably find that after they have been split for a while, they will appreciate each other more.

Never say forever. Your boys are 3, and you never know what the future will bring!

 

:hug: It is a tough decision to make, but if it were me and those things were happening during preschool, I would separate them. I wouldn't want the 2.5 hours of preschool time to be full of tattling and picking on by my children. It will be tough at first since it's a change, but you can remind them that they will see each other after preschool is over. And they will probably look forward to that time then. Sometimes it is better to separate them. You may find out they actually enjoy having their own class and being able to talk about what their class did that day.

 

They are in pre k. They have been on this planet for 4 years, that is all. If they cry to be together insist that they are kept together. IMO there will be plenty of time in the future for separation.

 

Thanks everyone for the advice....I'm still at a loss. I have talked to their teacher, She said that they have good days when they are great to each other and have always been great with the other kids but I don't care to separate them if it is good for them, I just can't stand to see them so sad because they have ALWAYS been together! I guess, their first week back after the holidays are over, I will keep them together and then ask the teacher how they did, if they are still doing it, I will separate and if not, they will stay together. Don't think that I haven't had LONG talks with them about this. :umm: They know they are suppose to behave with each other, I just think that getting use to being without the other one is hard for them. We will see how it goes....thanks again everyone

 

THANK YOU!! I feel the same way, my husband and mom too has said that from the beginning but it's hard to get others to understand that!

 

Well, they start off in one class the first hour then they switch to the other class the last hour so they get interaction with both teachers. I have told them to separate them in class and seat them apart from each other but i don't think they have b/c my boys say they set together when I ask them. I just think separation should be a last resort, ya know.

 

This is the set up we have. The girls are in the same class (only one class) but are only together during large group time. They sit at different centers, different small group activities, and snack tables. It works out well for our girls. BUT they have always been fairly independent in the classrooms of each other.

I would give it time---and see what else they can do in the same class to give them space, but be in the same room.

 

It sounds like you really don't want to separate them, but feel like you (and the kids) are being pushed into it by their teachers due to their behavior when they're together. So I would focus on working on their behavior. If they just started preschool (I couldn't quite tell from your message) after 4 years of it being just the two of them all the time, it's going to take some time to adjust -- maybe a few months or more.

There are often kids (or pairs of kids) in a preschool class who can't keep their hands off each other. I get the sense that if those kids are twins, people are quick to say "Oh, they should be separated," whereas if they were just two unrelated kids, adults would try a lot harder to teach the kids to get along with each other.

I'm not necessarily opposed to separating my twins (though so far no one has indicated that they should be separated), but if you feel that it should be a last resort, go with your gut. You could also try pointing out to the teachers that even though their behavior may be challenging when they're together, it's not going to be any better if they're in separate classes crying all the time. :unsure:

 

That's what I was going to say ! Mine don't even go to the same school anymore. I wouldn't wish it on anyone .. but you can never be sure what life might bring you.

 

UPDATE: I talked to their teacher yesterday and told her that I wanted them separated as much as they could in the same room, don't let them sit at the same table or anything and she said that she would definitely do that and that the boys are IMPROVING and that they were having alot more good days than bad. (they have only been going since September, this is their first year) I also told her that I wanted separation to be a last resort and she honored that and also said that if they did separate it might be every few days. Thanks for everyone's input! I TS!!

 

If the teacher is telling you that they are having their good days and their bad days well...thats like everyone else in the world. Especially siblings. I would keep them together because they cry when they are not and I would continue to remind them about good behavior. But the fact that the teacher said that they have good and bad days means that they aren't always messing around with each other.

 

Come on, you get the drift tho, right? It doesn't mean I signed a document but you get my point? I know my kids as of now and to reiterate my "plan" is.. to keep them together.

 

I am so glad you got it all figured out and YAY!! I am glad they are improving!!!! :woohoo:

 

I'm glad things are looking up! You are totally doing the right thing in trusting your gut. People often assume that crying is just a manipulative tactic, but as the mommy, you KNOW when they're genuinely hurting and not just trying to get their way. I hope things keep improving so they can stay together!

 

Thank you, I appreciate that very much!! Hope things stay this way