pregnant again

We just found out that we are pregnant again. Jack and Lily are 3.5 years old. Life is so great right now and easy and fun. I really thought i wanted to have another, but now that we are pregnant I am having a difficult time with it. I cried the first two days I found out - isn't that terrible? I am mostly sad because I feel like I am cheating on Jack and Lily. I don't know how to explain it, but I love them so much and every second of our time together and I just want to eat them up and i don't want to share any of that with another baby. Again, I am not trying to sound horrible, just honest. I feel like every ounce of love I give to a new baby takes an ounce away from the ones I have now and that makes me sad. I can barely look at them without crying.

Anyway, I know it will get better as I get used to it and get less emotional, just wondering if that makes sense to anyone and if anyone can tell me how their relationship with their twins changed when the new baby came. sob sob !

 

I had those same feelings as it got close to delivering Hannah bc the boys were 18 months old and just getting to be REALLY fun to play with! I will tell you...giving away ounces of love is never ending You don't get a "daily serving" and have to use them on one child or the other and then they are all used up. There will be special moments throughout the day that you will get to show them how much you love them. Right now mine is sitting and cuddling on the couch watching a DVD while Hannah takes her morning nap. Mine are younger than yours so I'm sure as you get further along you will be able to explain to them some of the changes that are going to take place. But rest assured...they will not hate you for this life changing event (I thought that so many times!) they will learn to love and appreciate their new sibling and it will fill you with even more love to watch them take care of and love the new baby

Congrats!!!!!!!

 

I know how you feel. It will be that way most likely till the baby comes and them you will find that your love will multiply by 100. It will feel so much better. It will bring your relationship with your twins to a whole new level and you will see them blossom into the greatest big sibling ever. They will be the greatest helpers you have ever seen. It will make them very protective of their baby. Now one thing you do need to know. This will not be your baby this will be theirs. You may get to feed and change this baby but this child in their eyes will be theirs. In s good way I mean. It will be ok. A new sister or brother is very good for your twins to have.

 

Love multiplies, it doesn't subtract. My twins will be 3 1/2 when my new twins arrive and they are so excited about it. I was trying to get them to tell their uncle about Christmas and what will happen but instead they wanted to talk about the new babies and how fun it will be. They are so excited it is amazing. If your while family can get excited about it and getting ready, it might help those feelings. My twins love to give the babies hugs and kisses in my belly and talk about how they will help and even offer to share their snugglies (something no one else is allowed to even touch). THe beginning is hard and also when you don't feel well. Give it some time.

 

It's completely normal to have mixed feelings or contradictory feelings when pregnant. I suspect most pregnant women do at least sometime in their pregnancies. If it make you feel better blame it on the hormones!

In my case my twins were older 5 and a half when our baby was born. Of course our relationship changed, because our family has changed. But change is good. They are big sisters now. And it's been a wonderful opportunity for them to experience that. It's also been wonderful for me to experience having just one baby.

 

So others have already said what I was going to say: love multiplies...doesn't divide I never thought I could love this much. With each new miracle, not only do I GIVE them love but I also GET more love than I ever thought possible. Congratulations!

 

This past week has been hard for me realizing that in just a few short days I will be having my daughter. I'm TERRIFIED that I will be taking away so much from the boys. Some days I feel like I don't really even know my boys because they are always changing and learning new things. So how is it possible for me to keep up with them and take care of a new little one?? I'm not sure yet but I know once she gets here that it will just be natural. Really hard for me to put it into words but I keep picturing myself with the boys and baby here and I think we'll be okay. My DH and I are a really good team (most of the time ;D) so we'll find a way to make it work. I've already got it cemented into my head that I will make as much time for the boys as possible once she's here so they know I am ALWAYS there for them!! Everything will be okay and I'm just going to stick with that!

Good luck and lots of hugs!!!

 

What you are feeling is normal.

When I found out I was pregnant with ds#2 I was an emotional basketcase. I wanted another baby - but when it came down to there was one on the way I freaked. I had NO idea how I could EVER do that to ds#1 and how could I ever love another like I loved Tad?? One day I talked to my father in law and told him how I felt. He told me something I will never forget. He said "You will love the new one every bit as much as you love Tad, just different" That is SO true. I am pregnant with #6 (7?) right now and with each new baby, I know that I have not taken anything from the ones I have, I have added to their lives. AND I love each one of my kids just as much as the other but differently. It is a shock at first but just wait until you see that sweet baby, all of this worry will be gone and things will just be the way they will be - you will have time for all of your children and no one will suffer. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

 

AAAHHH!! I am so thankful to read this thread. I'm sitting here sobbing because I'm a pregnant emotional mess. Just found out I'm expecting after deciding we are DONE, getting rid of tons of stuff.... and our girls are 3 in two weeks. Such an emotional rollercoaster!!! I just want to feel normal and happy

 

Pregnancy wreaks havoc on you! Emotions, hormones, and all that. Of course you went through it before, but in some ways I think it's harder the 2nd time around, because you know what to expect and it's not all the new excitement of things to cushion the aches, pains and such. And I've done it a bunch of times . Like PPs said, love multiplies. And there are so many great benefits for children to have siblings, IMO. I have just 1 brother, and I have 6 kids. I can really see great differences, and I'm so glad my children have the opportunities and relationships they do with each other. What a great gift to give your girls, and the new baby!

 

First of all I think that is so sweet the way you are feeling and you will soon feel different and see that you can love all your children and once the new baby/babies get here you may realize that something was missing in life and that is it, IDK..... but you shouldn't feel bad I am having mixed emotions about having another my twin girls will be 4yrs old in aug, I am a few days late but like I told my husband tonight that when I think about being pg I get scared but when I think I'm not I get sad Good luck to you I'm sure everything will work out fine!!!