Night wakenings - wants to get in our bed

For the past couple of weeks my one son has been waking up in the middle of the night and wants to get in our bed. When I try to return him to his bed he starts crying....says he is scared...and begs to stay. I have tried to return him to his bed but every time I try to leave his room he cries. I ended up staying on the floor by his bed for a good hour or two one night....attempting to leave every so often...but every time I did he would again start to cry. His brother is in the same room and of course started to wake up too. Then I was thinking "oh great...now I have two children awake at 3:00 a.m." So lately I have been letting Sam get in our bed because I just don't know what to do. I know it is probably not the right thing to do but I guess I'm hoping it is just a phase. My husband bought them a special night light hoping this might help...but no luck. Honestly though...I'm exhausted because I just don't sleep all that great when he is in our bed. Even thought we have a king sized bed...Sam ends up pressed up right next to me and every time he moves I wake up...which seems like every half hour!

I'm hoping someone here has experienced this and might have some thoughts or suggestions! Thanks for reading!

 

The night light/tot clock didn't work for us, either. Luke is my snuggler in the night. I am not the one to be giving advice since I wake up in the night every night & find him snoring next to me. I have to admit to kind of liking it. :blush: But I went through this with my 11 year old when she was this age too & gradually she just stopped getting up in the night. I know that Luke won't be 10 & still sleeping with me so I am just enjoying it while I can. I know this is NOT the popular opinion & others will probably have lots of advice for you. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

 

I went through this with my older DS. I am a very light sleeper so for me I just ended up exhausted. A friend of mine suggested changing his bed so it 'surrounded' him more. Her son was a micropremmie and later on needed help with sensory things and this was recommended by her OT. Like creating a nest inside his bed. Lots of pillows, snuggly blankets and teddies if neccessary. We tried this and it worked surprisingly. My kids have always had very tidy beds(ie blankets, pillow, etc) because it helps keep their room tidy...sorry...less messy. He just needed that comfort and he was getting it from us in our bed. Good luck finding a way to get more sleep. It will come ... I hope!

 

I learned a trick when housesitting for someone else. We keep a pillow and blanket by our bed for those little ones who want to come in at night. When they wake me a give them a hug and comfort then lay them on the floor by my bed. I can rub their back if needed and they are close BUT not in my bed. I do not sleep if they come in the bed. It has worked great for us for 11 years and 5 kids. 2 still come use it occassionally (my 7 and one 4 year old).

Cindy

 

I also put a blanket and pillow on the floor and DD who always was coming in eventually decided her bed was better than the floor.

 

Thanks for everyone's encouragement and advice. And yes...I must also admit that despite not getting the best of sleep when he comes in our bed...I do like to snuggle with him. And I do often think that this will not last forever. When he is 16 I'll look back and miss these days. The pillow and blanket by the bed are a good idea. A friend of mind also suggested a bean bag chair by the bed. She has one in her room and they call it the "nest". Her kids know that they can come in their room if they need to in the middle of the night but they have to sleep in the "nest" and not in their bed.

Thanks again everyone!

 

I :wub: hearing this! It certainly isn't the popular opinion, but makes some of us feel less guilty for doing it. That has always been my thoughts....surely they won't be a teenager (or even pre-teen) and still want to sleep with mom & dad. ardon:

 

Its happening at my house too, only my DD is sharing with her 1 year old DD so if she starts screaming, the baby gets up and it kinda goes downhill from there.
After reading the other responses, I too like the pillow/blanket on the floor option. I keep thinking there has to be something going on for this to be happening.. Whatever phase this is, I sure hope it passes fast. The baby just finally started STTN about 1 month ago. and DS has started getting up at 6am again. Yikes! I need my sleep!
Best of luck to you. I can totally commiserate!

 

Both of our twins end up in the bed with us - and sometimes my 12yr old will sleep in my room (when dh is at work) and he falls asleep watching a movie. I love it and cherish it - one day they won't need me for comfort anymore and I will miss these days. My boys who are 16, 14 and 12 all ended up in the bed with us at times - my 12yr old will sleep in my bed if dh is gone and he falls asleep but they all 3 prefer their own rooms esp my 16 and 14yr olds - by the time they were 5 they would not sleep in my bed even if I wanted them to (if they were sick or there was bad weather). I think this is something that will pass.

maybe you could figure out why he is afraid. - and maybe invest in some monster spray or whatever spray you may need to get rid of whatever is making him afraid?