Ever been hurt on TS?

In general, TS is such a wonderful site! It was such a life-saver during my pregnancy and first year! Through-out my time on here though, I've seen some nasty, hurtful comments to several members.Admittedly, I'm sure I have been guilty of rude comments too. Have you ever been really hurt by another TS member's comments? How can we all be more supportive of each other?
p.s PLEASE DO NOT name specific members or threads, this isn't the time to bash others or start a fight.

 

No I haven't. I feel pretty safe here, but it's a large site filled with a lot of strong personalities so I realize it's a possibility. I have belonged to other sites over the years though and I have had my share of :catfight: Internet anonymity is a double edge sword. It's hard to read people's tone and it's easy to assume that they mean the worst. Some people don't communicate well and they will always be misread by others. And lets face it; some people are just unhappy and want to make you unhappy too. When you're putting personal details out into a public forum you are a target for all these things but in general there's a lot more good than bad. Because people are willing to type things that they might not say out loud in real life you run the risk of getting told off, but you're more likely to run into advice and support from people you never would have met otherwise.

You can't make people on the internet be nicer, just like real life. As with anything, try to internalize the good stuff and toss out the bad stuff and try to assume that most people are good and mean well. As you say, you have had a lot of positive come from TS so there's no reason to focus on the negative comments. It's just part of putting yourself out there. I am sorry that you have been hurt here and I appreciate that you're trying to be constructive making it a better place. I am not defending anyone's behaviour or even saying that people shouldn't try to be kinder sometimes, but it's only realistic to control your own reaction to the things people say and do.

 

Yes. Many times. One even occasionally rears its head 6 years later. But then, I've been here nearly 11 years and the bad is far overshadowed by the good.

Its the internet and public. You don't put things on the internet if you don't want to get burned back by it. You also have to accept that some people have a direct opposite opinion that you have and that maybe their opinion is the better option.

 

I've been annoyed, maybe somewhat insulted by things I've read, but I've never taken anything personally. I've found great support and camaraderie at TS. People are free to say what they want in "real" life and online, it is just easier online - so it is what it is. Anytime you start a thread or post a topic - here or some other online forum/social networking/etc. - you have to know that someone could say something hurtful.

I find the good FAR outweighs the bad. And what's life without a *little* drama, anyway? :laughing:

 

People are people everywhere. Heck, even in the deeply pacifist martial art I do, there is crazy infighting and politics and backstabbing. People are always going to hurt each other, occasionally out of malice, but most often unintentionally, in the heat of argument, or sheer foot-in-mouth syndrome. And the written word does make it easy to misinterpret people's intentions.

And as others have said, the good outweighs the bad by a landslide. This community is such an awesome thing. I have "met" so many interesting people from so many different walks of life, people I probably wouldn't have the opportunity to get to know IRL, and I have learned so much from people. And the emotional support and encouragement is great. (I know I'm getting sentimental now, but hey, Thanksgiving's coming up... )

 

Never mind.

 

I'll just echo what everyone else has said: the good far outweighs the bad. I have met the most amazing people in my ten years here at TS, people I would never had met had that egg not split, and had I never joined this site. I'd be lying if I said things had never happened which hurt me or made me feel badly or just in general annoyed me, but the support and love others have given erases any of that bad stuff. And like Holly says, people are people no matter where you go.

 

Well, that's pretty da*n pathetic that people laugh about that, Kelly! I'm sorry. I know I love to see you pop in here. I wish you'd post more!! :hug:

 

I agree. I actually think considering how many posts are made a a regular basis I am surprised there are not more people getting offended and upset. People are people and differences are what makes the world go around as they say. I think 99% of the time people are VERY supportive of each other here on TS.

I also think that sometimes people just post to post and don't think about what they are saying, why they are saying it, or consider the possible responses and why. Some people like this, bring arguments/disagreements on themselves. I often look at posts and wonder, "that was the OP thinking by posting this?" I often think some people are trying to and cause trouble so just because things get stirred up, it doesn't mean that wasn't the intention of the poster.
That said, I think this post is and also asking for for trouble.

 

No. I refuse to let anyone here or anywhere, for that matter, hurt me. I like that this place is a great forum to talk about the one (or more) things we have in common. Multiples.
I'm not sure why there are posters who like to say things that are hurtful. Personally I dont get it. I try to follow the "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything" motto.

 

I have and I don't know if the person/persons were being intentially mean, but I think with online boards and emails things can come across the wrong way because it is difficult to convey emotion. The person may skim read, you may interpret the response in a different way then it was meant, or the person just doesn't have the whole idea of the issue you are speaking of. With me it was a lack of detail given in my original post, others got judgemental over my post, and I took it personal. I cooled off after a few days because I knew that I get more out of this website than the issue over one thread. Now I try to not offend and really understand before I reply to avoid doing to others what I had happen to me.

 

There have been times when I have had to read and reread a response and then maybe but nah, I personally have never been hurt. I also hope I have never hurt any of you guys. I feel like there is way more support here than hurt. I don't know what I would do without you guys! I figure, there will be times when we don't agree heck we are from all different backgrounds! It is great to get different perspectives even if we may not all be on the same page, it lets me see your way and you see mine!

 

I have never been hurt or annoyed or anything by responses to posts I have made. I have seen some snarky/sarcastic/rude responses written to others before, but nothing truly mean-spirited or hateful. I'm on several other boards, and from what I've seen here, I think this may be one of the tamer boards. (Although I do not have a rewards membership and access to the Den. My impression is that things may be a little different there.)

 

I've never really gotten hurt because of something posted on TS, even the Den is really tame compared to some other sites I frequent.

 

The pastor at our church put it the best... people are too easily offended and we should try to lead un-offendable lives! I don't expect everyone to agree w what I say or like it and that is ok... I am not offended

 

Never been really hurt or offended, but I have met some fantastic ladies who I talk to every day & I am grateful to call friends who I would never have met otherwise. I am not sure how I would have made it through the last 4 years without them. There are sometimes posts that I roll my eyes at or wonder why people would bother posting, but overall the good far outweighs the bad!

 

Yep and they know exactly who they are and what they said.

 

I've been on here for almost five years now and there was only once where I was really upset about something, but that turned out to be easily fixable and a big misunderstanding on my part. I, personally, hate arguing, especially about topics in which you know that you can't change someone's mind, so I tend to stay away from really heated topics and the den, where I know tempers can run high and feelings can get hurt. Sure, there are the token few crazy topics in the parent forums that draw some controversy, but I tend to take people's comments with a grain of salt, especially since I know very few on here IRL.

 

Not really. It's the Internet. No one here really has the power to hurt me. Seriously, we are all adults. It's a website.

 

I haven't really had my feelings hurt but I have been pretty ticked and offended.

 

One time I was typing really hard and I bent my finger the wrong way. TS is to blame for hurting me then!!

 

:hug: sorry you hurt yourself Brandy

 

Maybe your keyboard violated TOS? You can report that, you know! :lol:

 

I have feelings so yes, and it seems that some people have thrived on it at times over the years. I have been a member here for 8 1/2 years. One of the things that are the cherry on the top is when people after they hurt you tell you you should put on your big girl panties because we are all adults or what I said is true and it would not hurt me to hear it so you should suck it up. Paraphrasing of course.

How can we all be more supportive of each other? maybe just accept that some people do things differently than they do and just because someone posts a question and they give their opinion it does not mean that the questioner will take that advice or even consider it.

 

All I can say is that the good far outweighs the bad. I'm a sensitive soul who can get all emotional even during a commercial. But on TS I have felt understood in a way that I haven't experienced in real life and I'm very grateful for the support.

edited to say that Kelly, I'm always glad to see you on here and Brandy, you are hilarious!

 

Well, I am a real, live person on this end of the Internet. And there are other real, live people who are typing these words on here and carrying out the actions that they do. In my case, it wasn't what was said, it was what was did, right after something else pretty crappy was done. Like rubbing salt in the wound and ruining something that meant a lot to me. So yeah, it hurt.

So I guess those who were involved, and you know who you are, can snicker that you got to me and it bothers me.

 

Well you know those things (and continuing events) ticked me off. I've been angry and offended and often still am. But I wouldn't say hurt. The people taking those actions aren't worth it.

 

Context is everything when online and people are always eager to get their "side" out. Why else would someone say something if they don't want themselves to look good? And since this is the internet, it is there forever in someone else's context.

 

I've never been hurt on TS.

 

When I first started here, I was new to the concept of online communities. TS was and still is the only one I am an active member of. I didn't understand how people could type such rude and condescending things, and I remember taking some of it too personally. After that, I just realized how futile it is to let anonymous people hurt my feelings and learned to let it go. It is so easy for some people to hide behind a keyboard and say things they would never say in real life, because of the freedom they feel knowing that they can just type what they wish and never have to face the person. For me, TS has been a place to go for help and support. For as large as our community is here, the percentage of people that "hurt" others is awfully low. Most people here want to support and be supported and TS provides that.

 

I've never been hurt by people on TS because I feel very "this is business, not personal" about a lot of stuff that happens on here. I have been hurt by people online who don't understand boundaries though.

 

it's interesting that you see a website that we all talk about personal things on, things we need support with concerning our personal lives as business. I totally agree about the "hurt by people online who don't understand boundaries though" part

 

What boundaries? Isn't that part of the problem? People post for opinions about personal things and then get upset when they get opinions. Participation here--every post--is voluntary.

 

Sure I have been hurt on here. That is when I know it is time to take a break from TS and just come back when I am over it.

 

Yep, sure have. And guess what? I made a vow to myself to never be in a position for it to happen again.