Okay, this boy is driving me crazy!

So Royce has decided that he doesn't like to play outside, he doesn't want to do anything, and most of all, he doesn't need to sleep.

For playing outside, he'll go but he'll sit on a bench and either play with a car or read a book while Alice is off running around trying to get him to play with him.

For the general contrariness, I pretty much have given up. You don't want to eat, fine, don't eat. You don't want to go potty, fine, go in your pullup but you have to throw it away. You don't want to watch this show, fine, go find something else to do. You don't want to watch Thomas? Fine, go play with your cars/read a book/whatever. (Until of course Thomas is over, then he's all like, "I want to watch more Thomas".) It drives my husband even more batty than it drives me.

But this sleeping, or lack of, is driving me bonkers. Their bedtime is 8. We leave a low light on until 8:30 for them to read in their bed. I have to go to bed at 9:00 every night because I'm up at 4:15-4:30 in the morning.

Last night, he was still crying at 10:15. There was nothing wrong. He just didn't want to sleep and I refuse to let him out of the bedroom. He kept waking Alice up, because I would hear her say, "Royce be quiet!" He was 90% sleeping and still crying to keep himself up. What would you do in this situation? Eventually I ended up turning off the monitor so I could get some sleep. (Oh and please please please tell me that this is just a phase because the not wanting to go outside and play is really bugging me.)


ETA: Last night was not a fluke. It's been happening pretty regularly since they turned 3.

 

I don't have any experience with not wanting to go outside and play, but maybe that is coming. Mine are a little bit younger than yours.

Mine fight bed time a lot too. I do the same as you did, I do NOT give in. DH gave in a few times and let them sleep with him on the spare bed and then he'd be up all night. Do you leave their door open or shut? My girls insist on having their door open, so if they are not quiet in their room we threaten to shut it. If they are out of bed, screaming and crying at the door, the door gets shut for 3 minutes. I don't care if they are out of their beds after bed time as long as they are quiet and stay in their room.

If the door wouldn't work for you what about a night light or putting him in time out or something like that? Mine act up a whole lot more when my husband is home at night than when it's just me and them, b/c they know dad might give in.

 

Oh their door is shut with a child proof knob on the inside. I don't want them opening the door in the middle of the night (too many pets in the house, I would prefer their room to stay as hair-free as possible.)


You know what, I think I might have figured it out. Their white noise generator went kablooey right after they turned 3 and we set up an old ipod with speakers but it's playing soft music, not white noise. Maybe I can find a few thunderstorm/white noise CD's to burn and put on the ipod instead of music. Hmmmmmmmm. . .ya know sometimes you just need to say something outloud to figure out what the real problem is.

 

There are white noise apps on iTunes that are free- that gradually 'shut up' or turn off at a certain time.

 

Is he napping at daycare? What time does he wake up from that nap? Maybe you need to talk to them about not letting him sleep too long.

 

I was wondering about naps too, it might be he's ready to not nap anymore, if he still does that is It could also be the change in white noise, or lack of it. I hope it's one of those "easy" fixes!

 

I wonder if he's napping at daycare. I'll have to ask her, he naps pretty hard on the weekends when he naps, so it could be that he's ready to give up naps (but I'm not ready to give up MY naps!!)

 

I totally get that! On weekdays when my girls are with the sitter they don't nap and we have an easy bedtime. On the weekends, they usually nap one of those days (sometimes both), and then we have 'slumber party' and push bedtime back later to accommodate.

 

Both kids had a rough time with bedtime around that age, partly because 3-year-olds are just like that, but partly (with Sarah especially) because of naps. Unfortunately they still have naptime at school, and she actually loves to nap, so it's not like the teachers are "making" her nap. She just isn't capable of resisting the temptation to nap, even though she knows that it makes it hard for her to fall asleep at bedtime.

For now, we let them have a "party" in their room after bedtime on school days, rather than insisting that they be quiet right away. Our only rule is that they don't come out except to go to the bathroom.

Anyway, the stalling, crying, and various other bedtime issues increase dramatically when the kids aren't actually tired. If getting rid of naps is within your control, you might want to consider it. I know it's hard to give up your own naptime and/or getting-things-done time, but after a certain point (at least this is how I felt), it's worth it to not have those bedtime struggles anymore!

 

I know he didn't nap yesterday and it still went on for 40 minutes. I don't insist that they fall asleep immediately, in fact, I encourage them to lay in their beds and read books for 30 minutes before I turn off the lights completely. And I don't mind that they chatter to each other, but the tantrum screaming and yelling is something that I mind (and I'm sure that my building neighbors do mind too! I'm in a condo!!)

Alden, I'm sure that this is totally just because he's 3. :gah:

I ended up putting Alice in our bed last night and letting him yell it out. We also found some white noise "birds" for our ipod setup, making it something else for him to cry about.

 

Meara went thru a protesting bedtime stage. We put her in TO for it because it was unacceptable behavior (for us at least). A couple rounds of TOs seemed to work because she preferred her lovies and warm bed to a carpet square.

 

6 minutes and counting

 

I have 2 night owls out of 5 kids - the oldest and the youngest. The only thing I found that worked with either of them was probably the most horrible thing to do. Put a tv in their rooms. With mine nothing else worked and it makes me like a caged momma lion to hear screaming so it made all of us happy!

 

I don't know if it's advice or not, but I do not play around with bedtime. We have a streamlined routine, lights out, sleep. Anna has been "crying" to get us to stay, and I do not play. Basically, I tell her to quiet down and go to sleep or I am taking her "friends." I'm mean and the anti CIO people are calling CPS I know, but I do not mess around with sleep. It's not even CIO at this point. It's a no cry zone. They need sleep to be happy and functional. I need sleep to do what I'm paid to do (think basically). We have a lot of issues with our almost three year olds, but sleep is not one of them. Sorry Bex.

 

Here's maybe some real advice. I tell them what's going to happen: pjs, brush teeth, books, tucked, hugs and kisses. Then we they are yelling for another hug or to brush teeth or for another cover, I remind them that we already did a, b, c and now is time for sleep. Then I threaten to take toys. If pressed, I wouldn't hesitate to do CIO again. The last time we had sleep issues with Jack about six months ago, we were trying to go in and console, but it got worse and worse and he was a sad tired-eyed little guy all day. It was worth a couple awful nights to get my happy boy back!

 

I'd say it's a phase - the contrary phase. Give it some more time and don't feed into it. As for the not sleeping, let him know at bedtime what you expect: no talking, close eyes and try to go to sleep, even if he's not tired. Threaten to take something away if he doesn't follow through and hold to it. Don't give up on naps either. Good luck, we're finally passing this phase, I think!

 

I wish I had an answer. The bed time thing is the same crap Mark and Eli have been pulling for 8 months now (I'm not exaggerating :drown: ); well you can add knock down drag out gladiator fights to the mix.

I hope he straightens up for you guys.

 

You said, "no cry zone". That totally made me giggle and I'm so stealing that for my family use. In return, you can have "yo-yo dinners" as in, "you're on your own" i.e. when everyone eats leftovers or cereal for dinner.

 

Can you come to my house!! I am going to start this tonight with Ava

 

I like that!

 

Well, now it's Alice's turn for bedtime woes!

I tried something different last night and it worked! I gave her a TO for screaming in bed, then I sat and read a book to him while she was in TO in the hallway. I could totally tell she was defeated after that, it was all in her demeanor, she was sad and apologetic, and laid right down quietly after her TO.


This week:
Mom - 1, unruly 3 year olds - 0

 

Yeah momma!!!