Mental support needed

So, I'm freaking out. My old company called me last week to fill in for someone on maternity leave for the next three months. I told them I didn't want to work full time, so they are cool with it. I'll be working in the office Mon and Tues, and a 1/2 day from home on Thursday. They are paying me twice as much as I got when I worked their as a full time employee....also, our savings has been depleted over the past several months because we bought a new house and had to pay some money to get out of our old house.

PROBLEM: I'm freaking out because I know I'm going to miss my kids. This probably doesn't sound like a big deal to most since it's only three months, and the hours are minimal...but I'm so used to seeing my little ones everyday, all day. I cried myself to sleep last night -- I start tomorrow. My husband has told me to not do it if i don't want...and I keep on telling him that it will put us in a way better financial situation for down the road (which is true because in the three months that I'll be working I'll be making between $10K and $12K.

So I need mental support -- and I also want to hear what you would do? Am I making the wrong decision? I start tomorrow so if I were to not accept the position I would rather do it now than after I begin...but I keep on telling myself, "It's only three months and 2 1/2 days a week, and my kids will be with my friends on the days that I'm working." Ughhh!

 

:hug: I'm sorry this is so hard for you! I hope it turns out to be easier then you think. I personally would LOVE to get away from my little ones for a couple hours every week. Maybe think about it as getting them ready to be away from you for a little bit. I'm not sure if you plan on putting them in Pre-school or K but it might be a good stepping stone to those days.
Good luck and I hope it goes by quickly for you!

 

I'd work those hours for 10 times less... lol. The only reason I don't is that it wouldn't cover childcare for that much.

 

It's natural to be scared and nervous about the unknown. I think it is important for your family to give this a shot. Like you said, the financial benefits are very real. The hours are very reasonable. It sounds like your kids will be cared for by someone you trust and they'll be with their friends, having fun! It sounds like a win-win situation. My kids started full-time day care in August after being home with me for over 2 years. They LOVE it and ask to go on the weekends! I have found that I don't miss them as much as I thought, and I truly look forward to seeing them after day care. I think the time apart has made us really embrace and enjoy our time together even more. I am so much more focused and engaged with them now because our time together is limited.

 

Take the job and be happy about it. Your post makes a lot of us feel like crap because we cannot get a job like that and would love to.

 

Yeah... you do realize that a lot of us would have to work 45 hours a week to earn half as much, right? Just saying.

 

It will be a different daily schedule, but you'll survive. Around when my kids turned 2 a co-worker was going to need to go on mat. leave in 2 more months and I took the opportunity to ask if I could bump up my 16 hrs a week to 32 to cover for her... for me it was a win-win. Right around 2 yrs old, the kids started going wild! anyway, it was summer time and in FL it was nice for me to be in the office more, and not have to hear the crying toddlers. I appreciate the time I have to spend with them. But I am also glad that the 3 months of 32 hrs a week is over. I'm back down to 16-24 and its much more doable. I hope both you and the twins will survive and have fun! I'd also say be glad you can find a well paying job part-time. that's a big rarity!

 

I'm sorry, I found the 5th & 6th posts quite rude. We are all in our own different situations and circumstances. I don't think we should judge eachother for what we may be feeling. The OP was asking for mental support, not to be made to feel worse about it. Why can't we be happy for her job offer and give her the support she needs? I bet she worked hard in school and when working before she had kids to be able to be offered a job like this - and good on her for that!!!!!

To the OP: Congratulations on your job offer! It really sounds great to me! I also work PT, but started back when my girls were 9months old. It was REALLY hard, and I shed a lot of tears leading up to it, but as it has been said, it goes a long way when you trust who your kids will be with while you're gone. You will enjoy and savour the days of the week that you aren't working, and will be so happy to see your kiddos at the end of the days that you do work! One thing that helped me was being able to pop in and see my twinkies during the day. I would pop in to nurse them and help with nap times. Now they need me less since they are older, so I stay away for longer. Maybe you could pop in and have lunch with them?? Just a thought, and it would break up the day for all of you.

The only other tips I have is to prepare as much as you can the evening before so things are less hectic in the morning. Try to make dinner ahead or have leftovers those days as well...less stress and work to do when you get home at the end of the day.

Good Luck! I hope you go for it! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, and you'll feel good being able to help the family out financially too!

 

I am a SAHM and a couple of times I have taken on part time work when money was tight. It was only for short periods of time but it was great to get that money in the bank and it also reinforced for me that being at home with the kids is what I preferred. I always had a deadline for finishing the work so knew that it was a means to an end. My kids loved me just as much when I got home :FIFblush: I would go for it if I was you. It's only 3 months. Good luck

 

Congrats to you on the job offer. You're in an enviable position (as I'm sure you noted from some of the other responses). Obviously this is freaking you out, but try to take a minute and think about why. Are you scared your kids will forget you? Are you lacking confidence in the people who'll be caring for them while you work? Or are you worried you won't do a good job since you've been off work for some time? Any of those fears are normal, but they're worth overcoming. You're being offered an opportunity to replenish your savings... and as a mom your job is not just to spend time with your kids, it's to provide for them (if you have that opportunity) and to ensure you continue to develop yourself rather than stagnate. It sounds to me like this could be a win-win. You'll still be able to spend quality time with your children, will contribute financially to your family, and will grow professionally. So hang in there. Your desperation and freaking out will only affect your kids - they can sense your emotions, y'know!

PS. What kind of profession are you in?

*Edited because I can't really can't spell.

 

Congratulations on the position!
I know it's hard to ponder leaving the children and I think it's perfectly normal to be freaking out. I know I would feel unsure if I were in your position but keep telling yourself that it's temporary, you are only working 2.5 days a week and by working you'll be giving your family some breathing room financially. Best of luck with your decision and if you do go back to work, I wish you all the best. You got to do what's best for your family :hug:

 

Since she will be working as a contractor with no benefits, the pay per hour will be much higher than if she were an actual employee. I do freelance/contract communications work (writing, editing, public relations, marketing, etc) and make more now working around 25-30 hours a week than I did when I worked full-time 40+ hours a week for a Fortune 100 company. However, I receive no benefits (insurance, 401k, etc). The pay per hour often seems great for freelance/contract work, but the risk is that you are never guaranteed income or work once that contract is up.

And to the original poster, make sure to plan ahead and save a big chunk of that money for taxes. You most likely won't have taxes coming out of your checks, but you will still owe them when tax time rolls around.

 

Thanks to everyone's notes and support...I truly appreciate it. I know a few people asked me why I was hesitant...I'm hesitant because I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying home with the kids and being home with them, etc. My husband travels 3 to 4 days a week and we don't live in an area with family so that's why it's also important for me to be home for them. I am so blessed that my friends have offered to take the kids, and I'm going to pay them of course too! I am sure in two weeks I'll be used to the new routine and everything will fall in place...and after three months I will also happy that I did it.

The last poster was correct, I'm doing this as a contract position with no benefits, that's why the pay is so high. I can afford to do so since my husband holds benefits for us. And to those two poster that put the most rude comments on here that really upset me -- you don't know how I feel, you don't realize that I also went to school for my masters, that I worked over 12 years in my career, and also used to work over 60 hours a week...I just can't believe you have the nerve to put rude comments on here, when you don't know that all I wanted was to be a mom...and htat's why I'm struggling with this three month stint. I didn't post this to make people envious -- I was just stating the facts since this is a opportunity that I can't pass on because it will put us in a better financial situation...oh, did I also mention that we have an $1100 child support bill for my husband's first wife (I bet you don't have that over your head)! Unreal that people can be so ignorant and post the wrong things!!!!!

I'm in marketing -- for those who asked -- I work with international offices as the liaison for promotions and lead gen activites, also web developer so I'll be developing new websites in 7 other languages, and event/tradeshow planning. I'll be busy, that's for sure!

 

Congratulations! It sounds like a great offer & if I were you I would do it. I am like you, I love being home with my little ones and would miss them so much if I went back to work, even a few days a week. But it is for a limited time & it would leave you in a better position financially so that is great! Good luck to you, I hope it is easier than you think! :hug:

 

All I'm saying is that it was IMO insensitive to give so much detail. You could have left it at what you said in your last post - it's a great opportunity because it will help your financial situation. I don't see people coming here and posting how much they make, because it's pretty inconsiderate and rude - some people work 60 hours a week too and don't make nearly as much, and I'm sure a lot of them would have loved to be able to go to college and get their Masters too... it was totally unnecessary.

If you're going to ask for support, please try to remember that not everyone is in the same situation... you will get more sympathy that way. It's hard to feel sympathetic when your first reaction is 'is this a joke? I would work full time for that money, and she doesn't even have to worry about finding daycare!'. 30ish days of work is nothing when it could pay for a year of preschool.

 

Congratulations on the job offer!! It sounds like a great opportunity!! :woo: I went back to work (from home) part time about 6 months ago, and I am so happy to be back working! I had a lot of the same apprehensions that you mentioned, but once we got into a routine everything fell into place. It really has been great.

Good Luck!!

 

I spent my entire maternity leave (10 months) with my oldest worrying about going back to work part time. But, like your case, the money was so great. I had to go back part time for 3 months to get the last 7 months of my leave paid in full at my full time rate. How could I not?

In the end, it worked out well. My son had a great caregiver he adored on my campus and in my building and I got to accomplish things! :laughing: That doesn't happen much for a sahm.

Congratulations. Enjoy the job and the satisfaction and know you little ones will be having a blast with your friends.

 

Wow, I have to say I am shocked. Normally if I don't have anything nice to say, I just don't say anything.

Anyway, I can totally understand how being away from your kids when you normally have not can be stressful. But I think you should go for it and good luck!

 

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!! This sounds like a great opportunity for you (& your family) financially speaking and one that I personally wouldn't pass up. Secondly, as a SAHM, I completely get it! Until recently, I had a hard time even leaving mine in the church nursery for an hour once a week. :woah: Ridiculous to some, I know....but I do get where you are coming from. :hug: Having said that, my two just started a MDO program this year and I can honestly say it is not so bad afterall. In fact, I completely feel like having a little bit of time away from them makes me a better mom....it's good for them and it's good for me!

 

I cannot believe the responses people have made to this post. Everyone should be ashamed of themselves for saying such negative things when someone is asking for some support. Perhaps it's just sheer jealousy that makes some people say these things. It's great money but it's not so out of this world that it's unbelievable. The point is she doesn't want to be away from her children - kudos to her for loving being a SAHM that much, and to sacrifice a well-paying job to stay at home and give her children that experience.

Now onto the original post.

I doubt it will be as difficult as you imagine. I went back to work for a very brief period of time when my babies were one year old and it was one day a week. I did it so I could collect my full wages for an additional four months after my mat leave was up. I hated the idea of working but after the four months I wished it could have continued. It's nice that you have a date to work towards and that it is for a short period of time. Could you ask your employer to change the days to Monday-Wednesday-Friday? That may be an easier schedule to adjust to since you would be separating your two office days when you won't be seeing the children. Congratulations on being such a dedicated SAHM. People like you are few and far between...

 

Go for it!!

It may be hard at first, but YOU CAN DO IT!

Hope your first day went well! :grouphug: It is hard to change things up, but it sounds like a good thing all around. You get some more experience on your resume and some financial gains. Your little ones will adjust quickly and they will not remember it much after the three months is over.


I just went back to work part-time and it took a few weeks to get in a groove, I worried I made a mistake. BUT now a few months out- I am glad and happy and it is a win-win situation (girls are in preschool when I work)!

 

Hey, I just wanted to say congrats and good luck. You can do it......it sounds like a great opportunity to help your family.

I just started looking for part time work. I'm struggling with all of the anxiety you are describing. I don't have friends who can care for my kids, so they will need to go to daycare or preschool. I'm not sure where, and how I will find the right job to fit our needs. I'll probably be posting soon when I get a little further along in my search.

GL!!!

 

Really? I completely disagree. If someone is comfortable posting what their potential salary is, then why not include it? How is that rude? You have to realize that a lot of people out there make good money... why is it rude for someone to mention that they have a lucrative opportunity that's based on their previous job history and their education? I don't think the OP was trying to make anyone feel jealous, she was simply stating the facts. For a lot of people, it would make a huge difference if they were offered an opportunity to make $2,000 over three months versus $12,000. So that's relevant to the thought process.

And to the OP, I hope you took my initial post in the spirit that I meant it... your fears are valid, but you can work through them if this is something you want (or need) to do for your family. Let us know in a week or so how you're doing!

 

:ITA:

And wouldn't it be amazing if you could hire someone on a temporary basis that has all of the necessary skills (not needing to be trained), especially in a specialized field? Congrats on the job, hope you have a good three months!

 

I hope you have enjoyed your job. 3 months will be over before you know it!

I am shocked. Sometimes it is nice to give people moral support, not turn things into our own situations. There are people in this world that would LOVE to be in your shoes too.

yeah, but if "a lot of us" were trained to do the same job, and were good at it, "a lot of us" may have been offered the same kinds of deals. just saying.

 

I haven't been in your situation with work, but whenever something has come up that involved spending more time away from the kids than I ever had before, I also flipped out emotionally. But whenever I took the plunge, the kids did great, and I always found that it wasn't such a big deal after all. It's wonderful that you enjoy being a SAHM so much (wish I were as at peace with it, lol), and it's great for the kids to have you, but I think it's also healthy for them to broaden their horizons a bit and get used to some separation. I totally understand all the mommy angst, but your kids will do great! And I bet you will too. Congrats on the great opportunity!

 

WOW WOW WOW, at first I thought these could just be sarcastic comments from some Mommies that need/want that break from their kids. But more I read it again the response that is got I realized this went way of the spectrum of just being sarcastic (if that was even the case in the first place. Like one of the other posters had mentioned we should ALL support each other because a lot of us, some of us can relate to your situation to the t and are giving you greats words of encouragement.

I can't recall reading that you did take the job but if you have then I noticed it would be a lot of busy work, that will keep your mind fixating on things, the mundane work things. Then you might (just a thought) get the kids enrolled into a nice daycare so they could play and learn and socialize with other kids their age and even though no one on the planet or universe can replace their Mommy, they can play pre-tend and listen to your kiddo telling the day school teacher "MY MOMMY DOES IT LIKE THIS!", everyone will get a chuckle, you will be getting times away from them while they are learning from their daycare activities and the weekends can be full on play time!!!

If we had the money, I would put the kids in daycare in a nano second just because it gives the kids, in my opinion, that will teach them how to be polite and learn and associate words faster than some of us can do at home as Stay at Home Mom's.

There is an extremely positive possibility that this job will turn out to be the best decision for your whole family. You never know.

I also get the "I can't bare to be without my boys every second of the day because the moment Daddy takes them somewhere I feel like 2 parts of me are missing. In time that will change.

Keep us updated!!!

 

Congratulations on the awesome opportunity! I hope you all settle into your new routine :hug:

 

I hope you took the job! Especially knowing how the economy is right now in the city that you live in
Your going to miss the kids like crazy, and they're going to miss you too. But they're also going to have a lot of fun and you're going to get to exercise your brain a bit. Enjoy the time and relish the moments your not at the office and can appreciate the life you guys have made just that much more

 

Just wanted to give everyone an update...so I cried, and cried and cried. And I decided to take the job anyways to see how it would go. I started on a Tues, and that week I was supposed to work Tues, Wed and Thurs. Well -- I went home that Tues night and I was a mess...so me and my husband decided that I should quit. So I did!

Then, I got a call the next afternoon asking me if I would work reduced hours, etc. They told me to think about it. Well, we decided upon a better schedule for me (I just can't do consecutive days because I miss my LOs so much), so I am now working Tues and Thursdays.

I am feeling much better about my decision and I'm so much more comfortable knowing that I have M, W and F to spend with the kids. :ibiggrin:

The good thing that came out of this is that after the three month contract is over they are going to keep me on one day a week (from home)...so I'm so happy because that will be a little extra money for us while I work from home that day! Everything fell into place.

Thank you EVERYONE for your comments, support, etc!

 

Glad everything worked out in the end!

 

I'm so glad it's all working out for you! That's great that they could be so flexible with schedule. (And hot damn, you must be good at what you do, because it sounds like they really want you!)

 

Wow, so glad they worked with you on a schedule that you can enjoy!

 

that's so great - I'm glad its worked out!! sounds like the best of everything!

 

Yay! It's nice when everything works out.