doing CIO is SOOOOO much worse with a 2 y.o.

I thought CIO was bad with a 1 year old, with their pitiful cries of mommy.... BUT

a 2 year old can REALLY scream and while hysterical crying is saying things like
"mommy, open my door." "mommy, my nose is running" " I want to get out now", "mommy, come and get me" "mommy I"m coughing, I need my water"

they she'll start calling for her sister saying, "L, look at me, look at me", "mommy/daddy's not coming for me"

here she is asking for basic needs to be met and I'm ignoring her. She is such a mommy's girl, I know she just wants the reassurance that I'm here in the house and she'll go right back to sleep, maybe I should just keep getting up for 30 seconds 3x per night to comfort her... I really dread the transition to toddler beds with no restraint, this all seems pointless b/c it's going to be a disaster when she can climb out of a bed on her own.

sorry for going on, I'm just tired

 

Put a cup next to her crib and give her a tissue before putting her down... does she have a lovey or a stuffed animal in her crib? that might help. Definitely let her know at bedtime that she has everything she needs and you'll be right in the next room but she needs to be a big girl and sleep until the morning (I would seriously get a goodnight lite or something like that for her!).

But I'd really do this now or yeah it's going to be awful in toddler beds.

 

I'm just curious, what are you doing CIO for? It is so hard at this age! Mine are finally to the age that I don't think I would have to do it, but be able to have a conversation with them instead. :grouphug: to you!

 

:grouphug: That does sound hard! First, I absolutely think it is fine to continue on with the extinction CIO for a few more days to see if her wakings decrease. From what you've said it sounds like a pure habitual waking not a waking because she is sick or really needs you. Another idea.... what do you think would happen if your DH got up and went to her door and said through the door, "It's night-night time. Please go back to sleep. Mommy and daddy need to sleep now too. Good night." Perhaps she would decide that it's not worth it to wake and cry out when she doesn't get the payoff of seeing mommy or daddy?

And I will also say from experience, that sleep problems are much harder to deal with in toddler beds. So if you can get this resolved now, before the baby and before the toddler bed, it will be easier on everyone involved.

 

I was wondering too. I have never tried CIO with a 2 year old, but I can imagine it would be very difficult! :hug:

 

We have to do this periodically with our boys. Last night, one of them woke up about 1 1/2 hours after he went down. Nothing was wrong with him, he didn't want to be consoled. I tried talking to him, but he wasn't having any of it. After figuring out that he was fine, I left him in his room. He cried...loudly for about 15 minutes before he calmed down. It's tough, I agree.

 

We had to do that last night with DD too... there's the line between when they need you and when they're just semi-tantruming because they're not getting what they want... we usually go in once now, say it's time to sleep then leave and don't come back (we mostly go in to make sure they are ok).

 

We have to do this with E b/c she has this pattern of night wakings that start with 1-2x per night, then if I go in, offer comfort, and leave, the night wakings progress in frequency until there have been times that she has woken up every hour like from midnight until 6 am.

Her wakings are, in my opinion, part of her "need" for me and partly a control issue where she wakes and she just wants to see me for a second and will settle for nothing less.

If my DH goes in, she screams for me, pushes him away, and he is very frustrated b/c he wants to help badly but she is so stubborn.

She has her "lulu" that she carries around all the time, and she has a night light which we talk about every night that if she wakes, she is supposed to "look at the light, and go back to sleep". She will repeat the phrase but when it comes to the middle of the night, there is just no reasoning with her, she's half asleep when this is happening so she can't "remember" to use a tissue, find her lulu, or look at the light.

they say that all kids "wake" periodically during the night, but the "good" sleepers just put themselves right back to sleep without an issue. E is just one of those "bad" sleepers that cries the instant she passes through that light period of sleep. Being pregnant, her wakings are depriving me of any deep, restorative sleep for myself...