Super-affectionate boy

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by LeeandJenn15, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. LeeandJenn15

    LeeandJenn15 Well-Known Member

    This is just one of those "Am I the only one?" questions...

    DS2 (~19 months) is super-affectionate. First of all, he loves all male relatives and loves to be held. He also likes females okay, but not as much. He's always been a great hugger, putting his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you, for a long time. Lately, he's started approaching lots of strangers. If we're at a restaurant (or other public place), and I put him down, he'll go to the closest man and put up his arms to be held. Or, he'll put his head gently on the man's thigh (his version of a hug). If the man picks him up (some strangers actually do, if they know I am watching), sometimes I'll have to forcibly remove him from the man. I wouldn't say he gravitates more towards strangers than us, but he definitely doesn't seem to notice a difference between a man he knows and a man he's never met. He is all over me when I get home, and wants me to hold him quite a bit (which I do), so I don't know if I'm really worried about it...I think I just think it's strange because I've never seen a kid like him...

    His daddy is around all the time, and gives him lots of affection/attention. His twin sister does not like strangers at all. If a stranger tries to talk to her, she starts crying and tries to hide or get away. In general, she prefers women to men.

    Is this normal for their age? She is more like kids that I've been around than he is. Thanks for any responses or similar stories...
     
  2. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    How sweet it he! I haven't figured out normal yet. I have one middle of the roader who likes to "talk" to everyone but doesn't want them touching him and one who would hide under pavement whenever people look at him. If it makes you uncomfortable because strangers might pick up your son, I would just tell your son something along the lines of "we should save our hugs for daddy" and redirect him. He will learn boundaries soon enough. I still think it is sweet and would hug him to pieces.
     
  3. LeeandJenn15

    LeeandJenn15 Well-Known Member

    It really doesn't bother me if people hold him, because I wouldn't withhold his love from anyone, it's too great!! I think some people (especially men!) are a little weirded out by it. I remember on my wedding day all the little girls loved me and wanted to hold my hand or have me hold them because I was the "princess". I thought it was sweet, and it didn't bother me in the least. It just seems like some people are less affectionate and he doesn't yet know how to read signals. I guess I'll just have to continue to read them for him.

    I appreciate your comment about "normal" - you're right, he's just being his wonderful self!
     
  4. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    I say go with it then. But man, now I want baby hugs. LOL. If men get weird (i know they can) you can just tell your son that person has enough hugs and doesn't need more right now.
     
  5. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    That's great advice! Sounds like you got yourself a cuddly boy :wub: My DS is friendlier then my DD but he won't run up to strangers and hug them, he will, however, chat their ears off.
     
  6. ChaoticMum

    ChaoticMum Well-Known Member

    That was my daughter - and my duo are exactly the same. As my daughter got older - around the 3yr old mark, we started teaching about personal space and how she should ask for a hug before just throwing her arms around someone - and that arms are good enough for a hug - wrapping legs isn't required... :FIFblush:

    The Duo are very open to asking anyone to pick them up - they will walk up to people at the hockey arena while my older boys are on the ice and just grab a leg until that person picks them up. They are not shy at all.
     
  7. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    I love this. It tickles me to think of random people being sneak attacked hugged by toddlers. :wub:
     
  8. vharrison1969

    vharrison1969 Well-Known Member

    I know, that is super sweet. :wub: DH used to give a lot of planetarium shows for school kids, and his favorite groups were always the K-1st graders because they'd all line up to give him a hug afterward. :wub:
     

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