afraid to go out

Hi,
i was wondering if anyone else has gone through this.
I am a bit afraid to take my children out without my husband .
they are 6 months old and when we do go out they are great.
they only cry when hungry or ready to fall asleep. but for some reason i don't want to go it alone.
i do have to mention they still don't sleep through the night. we are starting to cio. the dr wants us to cut down the feeding from 2 to 1 and then 0. it is going well.
My sisters, both with singletons, are pushing a bit saying just do it . i want to but something is holding me back .
So i am wondering if it is my lack of sleep or normal new twin mommy. also, i do my best to stay with a good nap schedule so that does not leave much time to go out and it makes it easy for me to stay home.
I should say i am usually a strong "go for it" girl.
I would love to hear from anyone. J and L are great and i want to get them out there so we can all have some fun.
Thanks

 

just do it! practice, practice, practice and it gets much easier!! just have a well stocked diaper bag and you will do fine.

 

The first time I went out with the girls alone, I went to a friends house for a "playdate." (Her son is three months younger, so there wasn't much playing at the time.) It helped immensely to be going out yet we were going to another home. Maybe you can take them to a friend's or family's home for your first outing? I know that after the first trip, my confidence grew, and I started taking them to Target and the grocery on a regular basis.

 

I think that you should try and do something local for the first few times, and then get together with other friends and then go to the mall and just walk around. I was a little bit the same way (my son was just shy of 2 when the kids were 6 months old) so I was extra nervous. But, I started going to the park, going for walks around where I live and then I started doing the mall. It gets easier! I agree with PP, just make sure your diaper bag is well stocked and you will soon be out and about with ease!

 

I agree with the PP and start with local, friends places. I never had the anxiety, but I am also alone so I really didn't have a choice. Good luck!

 

Go! Go! Go!!! Just do it. Really. I would start off really small. If you do have a friend or a family member you can visit-try that. Or, go to the store-go for one item, or just a small handful. See how that goes. Then, go out again making it a bit longer of a trip. Or go and just walk around the mall. There is so much to see and hear, that it could keep them entertained. If there is a BRU near you, you could even go there-babies galore! LOL!

I will tell you-the more you do it, the easier it is going to get. I promise you. The more accustomed the babies will be to going out-so that when they are older(IMO) they will know how to behave, etc.

My most important piece of advice is: Have NO expectations. NONE.

And with napping schedules, I either used the car ride as the nap, or I had everything ready while they were napping and left as soon as they woke up. Go. Do it. And make sure you come back here and tell us how it went!

 

ITA with all the PPs. Just do it! I went to the mall about 1000 times in the early days... at first just to walk a lap, then I would sit down and have lunch.. before I knew it I was doing all kinds of errands with the kids. It's a bit exhausting but they love to get out and see people and it's good for me mentally to get out of the house too.

Is there something specific you're afraid of? Them having meltdowns and being out of control? The worst case scenario is that you are packing screaming twins home and your schedule is a bit off for the day. There's always tomorrow. Try it out and let us know how it goes! I'd bet way better than you expect!

 

I agree with the PPs. Do it - it gets easier with every time you do it. Don't plan on working through a to do-list, just enjoy the outing, and any errand that gets done is an unexpected benefit.

I can understand about feeling wary of doing it alone, especially if something unexpected should happen. I preferred going out with the pram and hated going anywhere alone in the car, but after the first few times I felt much more confident that I could handle it on my own. You will feel more capable every time an outing goes well and even more capable after a difficult outing was successful in the end. The effort to get everyone dressed and out of the door can be daunting when you are so tired, but this is normal - and you will feel energized too after some exercise and fresh air or some window-shopping or meeting with a friend.

At that age my little ones still napped very well in their pram and I often scheduled our daily walk for the afternoon naptime, leaving so they would be awake for half an hour or so to take in the weather, the sights etc and then dropping off to sleep. If you prefer them sleeping in their cribs I suggest leaving right when they wake up.

GL, you can do this.

 

Once you start going out, you'll wonder how you ever stayed in! GL!

 

I go out with mine alone all the time because I don't want to sit at home all day. If you have a double stroller, just load them up and go! Tomorrow we are loading up in the little wagon to go vote. Sometimes I even grocery shop which makes my wrists sore but I still do it anyway... I push the stroller in front with one hand and pull the cart along behind me. We wreck a lot but I don't care.

 

Totally agreed with the PP. Start out by picking a place that's close to home with a bailout option. I started taking the girls on a daily Target or Walmart run right after their nap and a bottle, so they were well fortified. If they got fussy, we'd just come straight home - no big deal. At this age, the worst they can do is yell at you from their seats.

You can do it!!

 

the first time I took the twins out alone I went to Sam's Club for batteries for their swings - I had one in the front pack carrier and one in the cart in their car seat - I was home in an hour and it was very liberating!! Its also amazing how helpful some people can be if they see you're out by yourself (opening doors etc...

 

I also found that a good way to transport them into a store when they were still in bucket seats.

Another thing I do is just yank out a bottle and feed them while they are in their car seats (I stand by the door with the door open) or while in their strollers. I have been known to whip out two bottles in the middle of the supermarket and just feed them in the middle of the aisle. As long as the store is not crowded, this works fine.

So, of course, we expect that today you will have gone out somewhere and be reporting back to us tonight. As PP said, the worst that can happen is that you have to drive home with two screaming kids.

 

You can do it!!! Just plan ahead. While they are taking a nap, I get the diaper bag ready and any other things I need and load the car. That way when they wake up you change them, dress them and off you go. Believe me, I still have moments where I hesitate to go places myself but honestly, you feel SOOOO much better once you get out!

Good luck

 

Another thing is people usually hear 2 squalling babies and think 1 of 2 things:

A. That's so cute! I gotta check that out!

or

B. Move quickly in the opposite direction.

The first you'll see, the 2nd you'll NEVER see. People are usually really nice about twinfants.

 

I agree with everyone too. Getting out of the house with twin infants is WAY easier than getting out alone with 2 toddlers. So take this opportunity while it's easier to handle them both by yourself because once they get walking it's crazy!

Good luck

 

Just one more 'You can do it'! and yes - start small!! don't go expecting to get a months worth of groceries - even like pp said - to a friends house!

HUGS! Its definitely daunting at first but you'll get to a point where you won't believe you didn't do it sooner!

HUGS!

 

I can totally relate. As PP suggested, I do try to go to friends/family houses so I can at least put them down for naps. I'm not good at going out in public though. I guess I'm just afraid of them both having a complete melt-down at the same time. Plus I have to admit it's a lot of work, especially as it's getting colder, to bundle them all up for a short, nerve-wrackng time out. Sounds like I should just try it though?!??

 

You definitely should! It gets harder when they want to get out of the stroller and run, so I think it's a good idea to get them used to going out and get yourself into a routine of what you need. They might actually enjoy getting out and seeing new things.

 

Im glad you posted this, Im in the same boat... I have the twinks and my toddler...Im freaked about handling it all, even just for an hour.. Im going to start slow, walks around the block, park, playdates etc... I say this but it has yet to happen.... blah

 

Hello,
I am so grateful for this site . it is amazing to reach out and receive such wonderful support.
Yesterday, i made it to my neighbors. i have been wanting to go over there for awhile.
it was quick and easy J loved it. he laughed and made me realize i have no choice.
i must put on my big girl "mommy pants" and provide outside stimuli for them.
I think i am dealing with some serious lack of sleep and a little bit of ppd.
the main reasons for not going out is,what if they cry the whole time.
I am doing my best to understand if they do it is OK but that is a hard one for me.
I am getting a bit more sleep and i know we will be doing more things. It did help to hear that once the start walking around it will be more challenging
Thank You guys for the support.
p.s. if the little ones wake up in time i will be going to the mall to meet my sister

 

I read your first comment and PPD was the first thing that popped into my mind. I had it after DS and could not for the life of me get things together enough to get out of the house. No one else could understand why this was so difficult for me and what was holding me back. I was going to ask if there might be something like that going on since you said you are usually a 'go for it girl' but it seems you are thnking the same thing. If this is what it is it would help to go talk to someone...all the encouragement in the world might not be enough (although it's certainly helpful to know you have people pulling for you ). Just a thought from someone else who's been there :hug:

Congrats on making to your neighbours! Starting slow is the best way to go!

 

I am so glad you got out! Now that you've done it once it just gets easier and easier!

PPD could definitely be contributing to a slump, but getting out can help break that cycle. Also mention it to your dr. next time you go just to see if there's any other resources you can tap into. I had PPD, and I wish now I had gotten treatment because I would have enjoyed those early days a lot more.

 

I agree with pp'ers - the more you do it, the easier it gets!