preschool class parties

Hi all! I had such a hard time today and I feel compelled to lean on only those who can understand ... other Mommys of multiples! anyhoo ... I have 3 yo twins and a 9 month old ... I am a SAHM with no other real childcare help (husband is an MD that just has N.O. flexibility with his schedule ... have a sitter who is a college student so busy a lot during the week days ... no local grandparents). The twins had a halloween party today at school where you are supposed to walk them through this little halloween carnival then participate with them in a party. Well, I took the baby in the Bjorn and set off to the carnival with the twins ... needless to say it was a madhouse. I left the school in tears feeling the mommy guilt. I just feel like I jip my twins left and right. I mean had it been me and just either one of them the carnival and party would have been great ... but me with all 3 was just chaos. I mean other Moms tried to help me which was sooooo nice but I just felt like such a failure. The twins may have had a great time ... I don't know ... they didn't mention being upset or feeling left out or rushed but I just felt like they could have had so much more fun if I could have really BEEN there for both of them. In hindsight, I should have found a sitter for the baby and maybe have even taken another with me for the twins ... but then, I am pitching in with money for the carnival then paying two sitters ... I mean is this feasible?! What do you guys do in this type situation? One of the teachers helped me at the party with the little cat craft we did. I did it with one while trying to keep the baby happy with Cheerios and she did it with the other ... you know it seems people are happy to help out I just hate to be the Mom that always makes every one else's life difficult! AHHHHH!!!! sorry for the vent ... just feeling so inept.

 

I've been there lots of times although I don't have the extra little one on top. I think its more of the mommy guilt kicking in, I don't think your twins will notice, they are used to sharing you. Hugs I know its hard, I remember being at playgroups with all the singleton mommies being able to socialise whilst I was chasing around 2 little ones.

 

I'm envious that you got to go to the party, I had to miss the girls' party yesterday I agree with pp, it probably has affected you more than them. If it would have been me, I would have left the little one at home with a sitter and spent my time with the twins. I won't be able to go to hardly any of their parties, and honestly, yesterday, they never even mentioned the fact that DH and I wasn't there. They had a blast anyway. Don't feel as though you have to go to every function they have. They'll be okay if you have to skip one or two here or there. :hug:

 

I doubt when they are offering to help that they think you are making their lives difficult. :hug: I struggle and I don't have a 9 month old! I say accept the help from any teacher or other mothers that are there and just let it be. :hug:

I don't think you are jipping them at all. You are doing as much as you can and I'm sure they LOVED just having you there!!! :hug:

 

:hug: I agree with Michelle-I highly doubt they think anything less of you! I feel your pain, as I do have the younger child, but my twins are still younger, so not in school scenarios. I feel like certain things she misses out on. For instance-going to the library and then they had a craft. I would just leave her on the floor or in her seat while I went and did the craft with them. Then, I would rush them through it before she got upset, etc. It's quite the balancing act, that's for sure. And I really don't have anyone who could watch them during the day-all the family works.

And I would certainly accept any help from anyone. Chances are-they've been in your shoes before and know what it's like! And I'm sure regardless-they enjoyed the fact that you were able to go and be with them!

 

Twins have to learn to be more patient, I think it is a good thing. I do a little playgroup with 6- 3yr olds. just the moms teach and do fun arts/crafts. I get comments from every mom that mine are so patient, helpful, ect. I know it is because they are twins and have had to learn it. Look at what they are learning. They will never know the difference of not being a twin and probably that is a good thing. They jsut get a different ecperience--good and bad.

When I take mine to things all alone (DH works evenings) they just learn to help themselves or wait. You are doing fine. relax.