Question about lovies

Hello. I see posts every now and then about lovies, and I am just curious about how it works.

My sons are about 14 months old and they have never shown any attachment to anything stuffed. Does wanting a lovie typically come later than 14 months? Did they just pick it out themselves from the available toys and then get attached to it? I understand that it's a comfort item, but can anyone tell me about the theories behind why or how it comforts?

I'm just curious. The world of lovies is a mystery to me. But maybe they will adopt one as they get older. You think?

 

My girls never did binkies or lovies. We made sure to rotate the blankets in their crib so they wouldn't get too attached to anyone blanket. It was nice because we never had to break them from them

 

Mine have these little 10 x 10 inch silky blanket squares that we started putting in their cribs pretty early on (initially with my scent on them to help with self soothing), and they hold on to them now when they sleep. They started really showing attachment to them around 13-14 months. They have other stuffed animals and blankets that they enjoy, but when they are tired or upset they definitely reach for the lovies.

 

My kids were given lovies (the small square blanket with the animal head) as a baby gift from a friend. When they were around 14 months they definitely showed an attachment to them. They are still very attached and carry their lovies around and reach for them when they are upset. They seem to hold them all night as they sleep.

 

All my girls got attached to little lovies. I think I had something to do with it, though! I started putting a lovie next to them at around 4 months of age. Every time they were in their swing when tiny, I would put a lovey next to their cheek... and I just tried to keep it beside them in general. Before ya know it, they were hooked! Now all my kids must have their lovey in order to sleep. It has really helped in the self-soothing department and they sleep like a charm!

 

my girls have yet to attach to any particular object, but they are both big thumb suckers so ardon:

i'm honestly not sure of the reasons behind it or how it works, but i do know that not every child attaches to a comfort object & that that's normal.

 

I agree!
My DD started off with a water bottle and an old remote as her first lovey. DS was all about the stuffed toy and blanket. I know DD started with the water bottle and remote around 12 months and I think my DS started with his loveys around 14-15 months. Your two may or may not use one and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

I bought my boys loveys for their cribs on their 1st birthday, but they really didn't show any attachment to them (or to any other stuffed animal) until they were closer to 2. Nate liked to chew on his when he was teething, but they never cried for them or missed them if they were in the laundry. Now they ask for a new stuffed animal or lovey every night, and last night we had to clean out Jack's crib because he had 6 in there!!! :lol:

 

Lovies isn't a developmental milestone either, and some kids have them and some don't. My oldest ds , just before he turned 2, we bought him a stuffed puppy dog and took the paci away, he made the transition easily, but he LOVED that puppy. Took it everywhere he could with him and had to have it to sleep. He's 8 now, and his green puppy sleeps at the end of his bed with all his other puppy dogs he's collected over the years. While it's not a necessity anymore, he still wants to keep it.

My oldest dd, my sister gave her a soft stuffed mickey mouse when she was 3 months old, and while she wasn't attached to it at that age, once she got older (closer to 1 yr), she become completely attached to that mickey. Now, at age 4, she still sleeps with something, and has at least 6-8 mickey's in her bed, but her lovey's will change randomly. Sometimes it's mickey, sometimes it's a giraffe, sometimes it's a kitty kat..etc.

The twins both had those soft blankies with the animals heads when they were first born, and then I found these super soft mickey and minnie stuffies at walmart. They are 20 months and Liam still doesn't have a "lovey" that he's attached to, he can take it or leave it, but Rylee adores her minnie mouse. She's carrying it around as I type. When she's upset she has to have her paci and her minnie.

 

For us it's their sleep sacks... they suck on them to fall asleep and relax, even though they haven't worn them in months now. I don't like it really but oh well. We can wash them though, and put another one in, but I need to put the bottom corners under the tap for a few seconds so it's wet otherwise they don't 'recognize' it and have a tantrum. Yeah, it's pretty gross, but what can you do...

Otherwise DD has a stuffed animal in her crib that she's pretty attached to (a prize she picked at a fair), but that only started about a month ago, and it stays in the crib.

 

I can tell you my theories, but I don't know how scientifically accurate they are!
I think if you have an item that you always give them to sleep with it becomes a familiar thing for them. Babies/children (and in fact most adults) find familiar things comforting. For tiny babies you can make it more comforting quicker by, as pp said, tucking it into your shirt to put your scent on it before giving it to them and holding it between you when you feed them. In this way it becomes associated with nice calming things in their minds (it smells of you, is there when they are getting fed and there when they are in a safe place sleeping). Because of these associations when they get upset/stressed by something being given the lovey triggers the nice calming feelings and helps to comfort them. Basically the lovies are a happy place in an item. :lol:

Your guys are still plenty young enough to pick out a lovey yet (although obviously it doesn't matter if they don't). If you want to encourage them I'd pick out a few different soft toys and keep them out in their bedroom or even put 2 or 3 in their cribs, they may pick something.
None of mine had cuddly toy lovies at 14 months although, except for Alyssa (who sucked her thumb), they all had an attachment to those plain muslin squares. Naomi, Luke and Ethan also had pacifiers at that age. The twins all picked out a soft toy lovey by themselves around the age of 2. Alyssa then changed hers at about 2 1/2 but she's kept the 'new' one since then, she still sleeps with it. Bryony kept her teddy for quite a while, but she doesn't care about it that much-it's more special than the rest of the cuddly toys but she doesn't need it to sleep. She does still have a strong attachment to her muslin cloth though. Naomi and Luke gave up the muslins somewhere around age 4 and are not super attached to their soft toy lovies, they have them in bed but I don't think they would be upset or unable to sleep without them. Eleanor and Ethan do not have a soft toy lovey (yet) but absolutely need the muslins (and paci for Ethan) to sleep. There would be no end of crying and screaming if you tried to put them to bed without them!

 

Thanks so much for all the information! I really appreciate it.
Thanks Twin nanny for your great explanation.