Early Puberty

Hi all, I know I'm a little on the older end of this forum, but I'm hoping someone else has been through this, and I didn't find anything in the parents of teens forum.

I think Holly is starting puberty early. She has already started to grow breasts and has pubic hair. She is emotional to begin with, but I think I'm beginning to see a pattern to it now, and she has no idea why she is crying, or sad, or angry or what. She started today complaining of what I think are cramps (she said her tummy hurts, but the location of where it hurts is a little too low for and upset stomach).

HELP! I need to know what to tell her, how to tell her, how much to tell her, when to tell her. I was hoping I'd have another few years, but I guess not. They will be 10 in January, and I knew I could have early onset puberty in one of them since I was early (I started my first period at 10). BUT I'M NOT READY!!!!

 

Hi Molly,

I think that my girls started getting pubic hair and breasts several months before they started their periods. I seem to recall when they went for their 11 year check up the doctor said they start developing breasts about a year before their period starts. At any rate, Sarah got hers when she was about 11 3/4 and Caitlin got hers a day after their 12th birthday. I bought my girls a great book, American Girl: The Care & Keeping of You that was easy to read and gave them a lot of information. It talks about physical changes all over the body as well as feelings. They have it at Target. I told them if they had any questions about stuff in the book, they could talk to me about anything. It can be awkward and embarrassing for both mother and daughter, but I did also talk to them about sex and birth control because that's not something you want them to know about after it's too late. I really liked that the book covered everything from nutrition, to skin, to puberty, etc. and I think my girls found it interesting to read. My girls had a couple of friends who got their periods at 9 and 10, so your girls may know some too. Kotex has a new line of pads and tampons that come in a black box with bright colored individual wrappers and those seemed a little "cooler" to my girls. They seemed to adapt pretty quickly to handling it when they get their period each month. Good luck!

 

Haven't been there, but I was going to recommend the American Girl book also. I've flipped through and it seemed like it did a good job in a straightforward, relaxed way. And I liked that it covered skincare and nutrition. It was just a good overall book.

Marissa

 

I have to say that American Girl book is great. All my friends up here have bought it for our daughters. It has some crazy illustrations for some parts but others are very easy for the girls to understand. I have heard a big range of ages that girls are getting their periods after breasts start developing. One thing someone told me was that once they get close to 100lbs they usually start after that. I talked to my dd about periods a little before she turned 10. We sat up late one night with the book and just talked about a lot and it was so much easier than I thought it would be. I found she was so curious about stuff anyway and wanted to know a lot of it. I think (hope) she is a while from getting hers but everytime she complains of stomach aches or is especially moody I start to wonder.....
BTW, a lot of the moms I have talked to said many of their dd's have had pubic hair for a while and no periods for over a year..so I don't know if that is as much an indicator?

 

I too am going to recommend the American girl book.
I do think that all kids develop differently. My friends dd had pubic hair in 4th grade and didn't get her AF until 7th grade. My dd is 11.5 y/o and is just starting with pubic hair and breasts. Her hormonal behavior has been going on for about a year now. She also needed deodorant about 2 years ago and her leg hair is getting much thicker. She has not gone through any big growth spurt yet and i have seen many girls go through that shortly before they get AF.
100lbs? Hmm my dd is 68lbs and has been for the last 2 years so if that is true we still have a long way to go!!

 

Okay I have a stupid question. When you guys say girls are starting to get breasts...do you mean just the buds or more? I am really hoping my oldest has a few more years. She is only 63-65lbs and a competitive gymnast which I heard should hold off puberty for a while. She is just barely starting to get buds. She just had a big growth spurt....so I am wondering if that means she is close? But when I say growth spurt, she had been due for one for a long time (she was in the 3rd% for height) so now she is maybe in the 10th%...does that mean anything?

 

Thanks for all of your replies. I'll have to look into the American Girl book.

With Holly its more. She is needing a bra, not just a training bra either. She is also 5'1 or 2" and about 105 lbs. Actually both of them have been near or over 100lbs since last years physical.

 

I mean buds. My dd is also very athletic (soccer player) and about 68lbs. I am hoping things hold off a while because of that too. SH e has yet to go through a big growth spurt.

 

My only daughter is only 1, so I don't have any mommy experience in this area, yet.
BUT, I just wanted to mention that I got my period when I was 9. NINE!!! It wasn't super regular for a few years, but I clearly remember sitting in the 4th grade being embarrassed during the maturation assembly because I was already experiencing everything they talked about. Nine is the absolute earliest end of 'normal', but I think by about age 10, it's pretty important for them to know about all that stuff.

 

I reccomend the American Girl book also. I have sat down with all three of my girls with different parts of that book. My oldest DD is 10 and she has been developing breasts for a while now. She wears a back brace for scoliosis and we were told that as soon as we though she was developing to let them know so they could cut out the front. That was about a year and a half ago. We weren't sure if that is what was happening but she was complaining of tenderness and we took her to the pedi and that is what he said it was. She has had some pubic hair for a while also but so does one of the twins who is 7. Caitlyn shaves her underarms. For about 4 -5 months she has had a whiteish discharge but no AF yet. We have pads in her bathroom and she carries one in her backpack.

 

The girls went for their 10 year check up last week, and the dr did indeed take a quick peak to check for hair and check for breast buds. She said it definitely would NOT be unusual for it to be happening right now. But my girls have been aware of periods and such for over 2 years now. I talked with them about it when Jake was born and they started asking questions about what the pads were for. They are aware it can happen at any time, and I told them when they do begin to show signs of entering puberty, they can carry a pad so they are not caught off guard if it happens at school. There is a great American Girl Book (The Care and Keeping of Me) that approaches all of these subjects, plus more. Keeping you body clean, how to insert a tampon, and many more...... I would sit them down and explain what is going to happen sooner or later(I just told them their body will bleed once a month in order to prepare to itself to have a baby when they are older and married ). How it can make them feel (upset, tired, crampy....) and then give them something (like the book or whatever) that they can look at on their own and to come to you with any questions they may have. Since my girls do know about it all, when I gave them the book recently, they were aware of most of it, but did have some questions, which I happily answered. They are more receptive than we are when it comes to the topic. My girls actually giggled when the pedi asked me if they had pubic hair or their period yet.

Best of luck, it really isn't too hard once you get started.

 

Well I decided there was strength in numbers....so after reading our Jr Girl Scout handbook, I named Nov 'its great to be a girl' month in our troop. I have 4th and 5th grade girls so about the right age. We have started with taking care of our bodies, bathing, teeth brushing, etc. We will be moving to what makes me me, what is important to me, what are my values, what is happening to my body/mind? The parents are behind us as leaders, and the girls are asking questions and making some very important discoveries. My co leader is a great help!!! She has a different book than the American Girl one, but its a place for us to start. I'm actually impressed with the info in the GS handbook. The AG book is on order for Christmas!

My hope with having some of these coversations at troop meetings is to let all the girl including mine know that its okay to talk about this, with mom, auntie, troop leaders, teachers, etc. That was actually one of our first topics, who can we turn to for answers when mom isn't there.

 

Awesome idea Molly! :good:

 

Great idea Molly. I like the idea about who you can talk to about stuff. My girls touched on that briefly when they asked what would happen if they were in school when they got their period for the first time. I told them they could both tell their teacher (they're female, they understand) and they can also go to the nurse.

Jen, I remember you recommending the AG book in the past, and had filed that information away until the right time. Thanks you!

 

I think the American Girl book is great. DD has also been enjoying the Girls' Life: Head-to-Toe Guide to You . It has similar info, but seems to focus a lot on letting the girl know what is normal to feel and worry about.

 

What an AWESOME idea!!! I love it!!!!

 

Great idea Molly for the Girl Scout theme for Nov. :good:


I just got the American Girl book for my oldest DD and plan to read it with her soon. :good: She is only 60 lbs at 10, so I am hoping we still have a few years (I'm not ready for her to hit puberty yet :lol.

 

My DD turned 10 in May weighing in around the 65 lb mark. She has nearly gained 10 pounds since then, although where she is hiding it, I don't know. I know that she has already started developing hair in "unfamiliar" areas, and that it was one of her first concerns about what was happening with her body. Small changes may be happening that you don't realize. I would definitely present her the book sooner rather than later. I will admit, I was a wimp and handed it to DD and said if you have any questions, just ask. It took a little bit, but she finally did start asking questions.

 

I am also surprised with how much my daughter and her friends at school (5th grade) and her team at gymnastics (average age of her team is about 13) are talking about these things anyway. Since I talked to her about it she has talked to me about what she is hearing from her friends. They are all talking bras, discharge and pubic hair. So I am glad I have talked to her about it because I have been able to set her straight with some things she was hearing. I am so NOT ready at all for the sex talk but I am sure in the next 2 years I will have to because of school talk anyway. THAT talk scares the crap out of me!

 

Good point about small changes that might be happening. I did tell my DD that I had gotten this book and it talks about changes that will be happening to her body in the next few years and she was like :huh:, so I am guessing she has not noticed anything going on. I did ask her if she wanted to read the book by herself or go through it with me and she said read it with me. I am a wimp about things like this too, so that scared me a bit. :lol: But I'm sure it's the better way to do it. I know it's not about me.

I am so not ready for this either and have been thinking about this a lot, what to say, when to say, I don't want to give too much info. etc. She has never asked (except when I was pregnant with E&T and that was good with her then). She is already been asking for a bra for the past 6 months. And she is already liking boys. :faint: I try and remind myself even though she is only in 4th grade, she is one of the older ones since she just turned 10 and missed the cut off for when she could start K. But I am not ready for all of this. :blush:

 

I know...its scary isn't it!! Josie started wearing a bra the past 6 mos. She has nothing really but because she wears a leotard 6 days/week and some are nylon and see through she is a bit self consious. Plus, she was the only girl on her team not wearing one. As for school, she has worn a bra to school once and that was a sports bra. They are all into wearing cami's under their shirts for now. And my dd has a "boyfriend". They text each other. I read the texts and they have all been innocent. Its a boy she has known and been good friends with for 5 years. She knows she cannot hang out with him alone until she is 16. I am amazed at how many people let their kids go out on "dates" to the movies with boys at this age!!!

 

Yes, I am not ready for this at all. :laughing: I'm glad to know it's not just my 10 year old who likes boys. :lol: None of her close friends do yet, but some are about 9 months younger than her. Oh yes, my DD is all into cami's, they definitely the big thing. :lol: And she likes the fact that they have the built in bra in it. Good idea about the bra with the leotard, especially if she is self conscious about it. :good:

:woah: Wow, that seems crazy at 10 years old.