Still have major trouble walking anywhere with them

I feel like we're now paying the price for having had such stroller-friendly twins -- we've never figured out a good way to get them to walk anywhere with us. Even if they're both more or less moving in the right direction, one is dawdling while the other is running half a block ahead. Or, one is cooperative and the other is sitting on the sidewalk having a tantrum, or being carried under my arm like a battering ram.

And if neither of them is cooperative, we just don't go anywhere! It is the most helpless feeling to be trapped on the sidewalk with two screaming/whining kids, knowing that you don't have any options except to wait until they both decide to cooperate at the same time. :gah:

I keep feeling like, "They're almost 5, shouldn't they be able to walk a couple of blocks with me without this happening?" Am I being unrealistic or do other 5 yr olds do this too? Any ideas for how I can teach them to walk with me in a more controlled way?

 

since mine ditched the stroller at 2 and the wagon at 3.5 we've pretty much gotten them to walk while holding hands...Ian likes to run ahead but generally a few sharp words and he comes back (also with a threat to go sit in the car while Abby shops/walks/goes to the park usually works too...

I don't think I'd avoid going places, but use it to your advantage - as in if they don't behave they won't be able to go again!

 

I don't think you are being unreasonable. My girls walk about a 1.2 miles to piano lessons every Tuesday and Thursday and have since they were 3. On the weekends it's not unusual for us to walk about 4 miles.
I don't know if this would work in the area you live in, but I routinely just walk off if they are uncorporative. They have to catch up or they will find themselves alone in town.

 

I sort of tried that yesterday, but it tends to escalate the situation -- turning a dawdling, stubborn child into an outright shrieking, bawling one. Maybe it will work better if I use it consistently, rather than as a last resort. Also, we were near (though not actually on) a busy street, so I didn't dare go far.

We can try this when we have two parents -- but how does that work when it's just you?

Part of the problem yesterday was that we were walking back from the county health office (across the busy street from our house) after getting their FluMist vaxes. We'd had to spend 20 minutes in the waiting room, right after school, and the kids were just full of beans. They held it together really well until the vaxes were done, then they fell apart.

But it's also a more general concern. I guess we just need to practice, and come up with some consistent rules/consequences.

 

I think they are old enough to be making progress. I would have levels of consequences. Something like, if they can't stay next to you, they have to hold your hand. If they can't hold your hand, they get a child leash. If they can't walk nicely with the leash, than then they get carried.

I would also think of a bazillion and one meaningless things to walk for. Every time they start exhibiting behaviour you don't like, take them home. Pretty soon, they'll get the picture that they go home when they act like that.

I would also think of ways to distract them while walking. A game like "I Spy" would probably work. Counting steps. Seeing who can take giant steps and who can take mouse steps. Making steps into a pattern like giant, giant, mouse, hop and who can do the pattern. Let them make their own patterns.

Marissa

 

I started a block at a time. They love walks so after that it was If you can't stay near me or if you don't want to hold hands while crossing the street, then we go right back home. DH doesn't walk anywhere so when we do our casual walks it's just me.

Sometimes when they want to go in different directions, it makes me wish they still fit in a stroller.

 

When we go shopping it's usually my mom and me so we split them up. If you of them darts off I ask them where their adult is and they usually get back in shape. Walking to and from the car at daycare they have to hold hands. In the beginning I told them to make a chain. They have been out of strollers since 2.5.

 

Mine have been stroller free for a while now too so we had to get used to sticking together. I shop frequently with all 4 by myself so I think its "monkey see monkey do" they see the older kids stick with me and they do too. Mitchell is the one I usually have to watch out for though. He knows if he doesn't listen he has to hold my hand the entire time and he hates that. So I have done that a few times and I try to stay really consistent with it. My older kids even get the routine. When Mitchell starts to wander off or not follow us in a store, even Josie my oldest, will yell "bye Mitchell..." and he comes running.
I would just keep trying, they are at the age where they should catch on with a good consistent routine with it.

 

You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm realizing that I've never actually explained the rules for walking together to them. I give them on-the-spot commands like "come here," "hurry up," and "slow down," but I never really said "When we walk someplace, I want you to stay next to me, stop every time we come to an intersection," or whatever. That approach was extremely helpful when they were younger for places like the library and shopping, but I'd just sort of forgotten about it.

 

When out and about walking (stores, mall, neighborhood) I always try to remind the girls of the rules of staying together. In parking lots I always say "birds of a feather, stick together." I know that is not the real saying, but we use it to remind the kids that they must stick together. In the neighborhood out walking my main rule is that they may not cross any street without me (stop look listen). If they run ahead, cool, but if you get to a crossing you must wait. My little one doesn't like to walk...she wants to be carried or pushed. I have put my foot down and told her that we are going on and she must keep up or next time she stays behind at home with daddy (or a school, with nana...)