Why Won't They Go to Daddy?

Our nighttime routine involves a walk around the neighborhood, putting sleepsacks on, and having a warm bottle while sitting on mine or DH's lap. Over the past month or so, after they finish their bottle, the girls will scream bloody murder if they're not sitting with me. It's making me insane, and it's making my husband into a crabby person I don't even want to be around. What is going on? Why won't the girls sit with him? I put them both on my lap and they quiet down. The second he takes one of them back, they'll start screaming again. I would like to work through it and just let him hold them while they scream, but he gets so frustrated that he'll just take them up to bed while they're extremely upset. I don't mind a little CIO, but if they're hysterical, it's not even worth it. It is making me INSANE! :headbang:

 

Can your hubby take one and walk outside a bit while holding her? That's what we do. When mine get overtired and can't seemed to be settled on the couch, we just get up, one with each baby and lay them on their side facing us (sleeping position) and we walk outside and usually within a couple minutes they are asleep!! I can understand your husbands feelings though...my oldest was like that but with me...she wanted my hubby. My feelings got hurt even if I KNEW she didn't mean anything by it. (((HUGS))) I hope it gets better for you!! I have heard that many babies go through a stranger anxiety around that timeperiod (now I know hubby isn't a stranger, but maybe it also has to do simply with anyone BUT you).

 

:hug: as frustrating as it is, it sounds pretty normal. it won't be long till they flip it on you & they only want daddy. if it were me, i'd go with it for now - they will grow out of it, and it sounds like it's not worth the hassle of trying to "force" them to go to their dad as that just seems to be frustrating everybody. maybe you guys could all cuddle on the floor together? or he could rub their backs while you hold them? or maybe he could read them a bedtime story while you hold them? some way that you're all involved in the bedtime routine, but nobody gets upset. also, i would chat with your hubby just to touch base, see how he's feeling, give him some encouragement or whatever he may need and come up with a plan A so that you're both on the same page. :hug:

 

Totally sounds normal to me, even though it's absolutely frustrating! :hug:

Annabella is really bad at this, and has gotten better. Most days... But she will be absolutely hysterical because she wants me. I attribute it to that fact that she is home with me all the time. I'm like her little magnet. She finds me wherever she goes! Are you home with them?

I do know that when I am not in the room, dh can usually calm her down for the most part. But if she sees me-it's ALL OVER! Have you tried leaving the room, or dh leaves with one DD? That might help. Or have daddy be goofy-singing songs, dancing, etc. I know all of my kids when they've been upset, have LOVED dancing. I turn on the radio and we start dancing around the kitchen-instant giggles!

I agree with Rachel-do the routine together, on the floor, reading, etc. Just remember that this too shall pass! :hug:

 

Thank you! Now to convince my husband to not be frustrated and help with bedtime. Hehe.

It's funny because I was in the playroom with them today, and he came downstairs for lunch. They saw him and immediately crawled his way and wanted nothing to do with me as long as he was there. I just don't get tge difference at bedtime.

 

I think it's a mommy thing. My boys would cry and cry-now at the age of three-because I wasn't putting them to bed. So dh and I now take turns(I suggest this). We rotate who puts them to bed. It works. BUT-I still have to tell them ahead of time that it's daddy's turn to put them to bed. On days we don't, sometimes they FLIP OUT. They want mommy. I suggest your dh start a routine that is different than yours-make it all his own. Whether he sits and rocks with them, or he sings a song, or reads a book. Something that sets you two apart. Make it his own.

When dh puts the boys to bed, it sounds like a herd of elephants up there! They are running around, laughing, giggling-it's awesome to hear. But-five minutes earlier, they were screaming for me to put them to bed. They love their daddy, they are just attached to mommy!

 

Totally normal. with my older child we went through periods where it was all mommy or all daddy, but honestly the all mommy times came more often and lasted longer. Unfortunately, DH was bothered by it way more then me (I was always happy for the break!). My girl twin is starting in with the all mommy phase right now, in fact, and mine are just a couple of weeks older than yours I think.

 

Are you a SAHM? I am now and my kids cry for everyone else, even my husband! One day when I walked out of the room and Athan started to cry, I heard him ask "what am I, chopped liver?"

This is the attachment age and if you are around them the most, you're the "it" thing for them. I know it can be a pain but just think how much they love you!

I just tell my husband that they love him, too, and if he was with them 24 hours a day, they'd be all over him and crying for me. It makes him feel a little better to think about it logically.

 

Yes, I am a SAHM. In January, I'm going back to teach a class once a week, so I hope they will have no problem hanging out with their Nana for five or so hours every Tuesday. It is wonderful to be so loved, but it would be nice if I could go get lunch while they play with anyone else!