earned another crappy mom badge today

the mall near our house has a small, free, indoor play area for kids, and since it was snowing like crazy this morning angry i decided to take the girls. they usually have a great time & then we go and ride a couple of elevators and escalators, call it a day & go home. there's a bench just inside the play area where the parents usually sit & you can see most of the area from there. i was sitting, drinking my coffee & Riley needed me for something so i went over & was helping her out when i was waylaid by another mom who wanted to chat twins. after that, i went back & sat on the bench again.

then i realized i hadn't seen Danika in a while, but assumed she was just hiding some where in the play area. i did a couple of circuits looking for her before i realized she wasn't there!! i scooped Riley up, did a circuit around the outside of the play area, looking down both ends of the mall, still no Danika. at this point, i'm really starting to panic & of course, the other parents are realizing something's up & start looking too.

then this guy walks by texting on his phone & says "are you looking for your daughter? she's around the corner" and walks off. so i go tearing around the corner with Riley on my hip & still no Danika. i felt like my heart was going to explode. then one of the guys working at a kiosk says "are you looking for your daughter? she's down the hall. she was calling for her mom" so i go tearing down the hall, and as i'm going different people keep saying she's down that way, keep going, she was calling for her mom. all i could think was why didn't anyone stop her?!?! finally, i see her & i start yelling her name, as another lady picked her up. i walked up to them just as she was turning to come find me. she handed Danika over & i burst into tears. she asked if i wanted to go to customer service - we could get a double cart there. i thanked her & said it was okay, we're going home.

the ironic thing is that, in a way, i think Danika did the right thing - i think when i was helping Riley, she came looking for me on the bench, couldn't find me so continued looking for me. :cry: ugh. it was the most awful couple of minutes of my life. i'm just so glad it didn't take long to find her & that she was fine when i did. i know these things happen, but it is so hard not to beat yourself up over it. i should have been watching closer, i should know better, what if something really awful had happened? :unsure:

 

The important thing is that you're all there, safe. You're not a crappy mom. A crappy mom would have not cared.

 

:hug:'s You are not a crappy mom!!! I had a similar moment with my son the other day. We were at an outdoor private playground in the subdivision where we are buying our new house. I had walked down to the playground with my kids and didn't bring the diaper bag. When Abby pooped, I didn't want to walk all the way back because we'd just gotten there. So I called DH and had him walk down to the corner, then I sent her down the block to him. When I went back to the playground, Ethan was nowhere to be seen. I walked all around the playground, then all around the open space, then started looking in people's yards. I was frantic! Then I hear a soft little cry. Turns out he was hiding in a little nook on the playground the whole time. I knew I shouldn't have turned my back on him that long. So scary! I'm glad everything turned out well for you as well. :hug:'s

 

:hug: That's tough.. it's hard to keep your eyes in two different directions. I am so glad all turned out ok, and I can only imagine how scared you'd be.

 

:hug: That is such an awful feeling, and one you will never ever forget. I haven't lost the twins yet but I did my oldest and to this day it is by far the scariest feeling in the world!!! :hug: :cry: You're a good momma, it happens to the best of us.

 

I agree. About a month ago we went camping and we thought the boys were in the car watching Toy Story. My BF's 8 year old son wanted to go to the play area at the campground so he let them out of their carseats (we had buckled them in and the doors were locked) and told us that they were fussing because they did not want to be in the car and we should go to the park instead. When he came out and told us that, I asked where Josh was and he did not know. It was about 9:00 at night, dark with campfires everywhere. We took off in complete panic looking for him. A bunch of other campers also began looking for him and he was found by the bathrooms playing with the doors.

It has taught me a huge lesson and I now know to be much more careful when he is with them. We can't expect an 8 year old to understand that he can just let them out of the car without letting us know.

 

I know that feeling. Your heart racing, and thumping up into your throat. The sheer panic of thinking the worse has happened, only to be overwhelmed by the relief when you find her and she's okay. I'm going to totally ditto what an above poster said. A crappy mom wouldn't have worried or panicked or beat herself up the way you are. It has happened to so many of us. In the end...all that matters is that she's okay!

Breathe, breathe, and breathe...cry a little, hug your sweeties, dry your tears, rinse and repeat.
:grouphug:

 

ITA with all the PPs: if you were truly a crappy mom you wouldn't even be dreaming of posting this; you'd have shrugged it off like nothing and kept on going.

:grouphug: to you, and give your girls an extra squeeze tonight. I'm so glad everyone is safe and sound.

 

I can totally see that happening to with my boys. I'm glad you found her :hug:

You know I actually have a tip that can help a little (maybe not in this situation, but in some of them). Every time I take my boys to any playground, I dress them the same, and in very brightly colored shirts. In fact, I instructed my Mom to only buy the boys brightly colored matching shirts, so I would have less trouble spotting them on the playground. It's also easier to describe them to other people if they might get lost. I started doing this because I really was having a hard time finding them, so now I just look for the bright yellow or orange or whatever wild print pattern my Mom found. It helps a lot.

I'm so sorry that happened Rachel. It is one of my biggest concerns as well.

 

you are so not a crappy mom!!! Happened to me twice - once in Target I was emptying the cart and Ian unbuckled himself and took off - NO ONE (not the cashier next to the line I was in, nor the customers standing in line watching him!!!) stopped him or said anything to me - it was only when I turned around to get my purse to pay that I realized he was gone and the schmuck behind me said "oh yea he went that way" - fortunately he was around 2 and couldn't get far...the other time happened this summer at Sesame Place - one minute he was sitting with a group of kids from the twins gathering and the next he was gone!!!! It took about 10 minutes to find him but I understand that heart dropping feeling!

 

The only thing that's crappy are the actions from those people that saw her and did nothing! Seriously you stand next to her until she is found so NO ONE ELSE can do her any harm. So frustrating...because if/when it happens to me I'd like to think there is at least one person using their head! I'm glad she's okay

 

:hug: How scary! I'm glad it only lasted a short time. You are not a crappy mom.

 

Oh my goodness, yes, I've earned a crappy mom badge several times. Once Sarah squeezed through our newly built fence and by the time I realized she was gone she was inches from the road. I was running down the driveway screaming, "stop, Sarah, stop!" Thank goodness she did. And then, just Wednesday night when I forced Allison to eat more of her food for supper and then she proceeded to have the stomach flu for the rest of the night...ughhh, that was a guilt trip from you know where! Bless you, Rachel!! I've been there, too!! We do the best we can but we are not perfect!

 

I also have to agree with Amy and Taurustwins, how could the people just watch her walk away?

 

I figure the ID twin thing can come in handy and do the same- I want to be able to say have you seen 'him' recently? Most people don't really know the difference anyway, for the split-second they saw the other kid... I consider it a safety thing. :laughing:

 

:hug: Been there, too. You are not a bad mommy.

 

thanks ladies for your kind words. :grouphug: i got a bit weepy tucking her into bed tonight - i'm just so glad we're all fine.

 

:hug: You are not a crappy mommy at all. I've lost Meara twice now and each time it was the worst couple of minutes of my life.

 

:hug: You are absolutely not a crappy mom. It does happen to all of us at some point. She is still a bit young right now, but one thing I have taught my kids as they get old enough to understand is that if they find themselves separated from me, to stop & stay exactly where they are, that I will be looking for them & if they stand still in one spot I will find them more quickly than if they are wandering around looking for me. I also like the idea of the brightly colored shirts.

 

:hug: It could happen to anyone of us. We lost Cooper at our own house once! He snuck out the front door when we were all on the back porch. I will never forget the terror for those few minutes he was lost.

So glad it all turned out OK and everyone is safe and sound! :hug:

 

Definitely not a crappy Mom. I lost DD in Barnes & Noble, she just ran away from me. She was only out of my sight for 30 seconds but it felt like forever and I had tears in my eyes looking for her. I'm glad everyone is okay :hug:

 

:hug:

I think every single mom has something similar happen to them, I know I have! Give your girls and extra hug and let go of the guilt! :hug: