Need Advice About Having Another Child...

Need some advice from those of you who have had another child after the twins. I have a 10yr old daughter and identical twin girls who are 19mos old today. Ideally, I would like to wait until they were around 3yrs old to do it all over again but time is not on my side. I will be 35 soon and feel like the biological clock is ticking really fast to either do this or call it quits. I also used clomid for all my pregnancies and IUI with the twins, so it might take some time, but then again it could happen on the first try. S

So I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of trying to conceive now and having another one within the next year. I would love to hear from those of you who have done this already. How hard is it to juggle the twins and a newborn? What about the logistics, like taking them all out with you at once? I'm a stay at home mom, with a hubby that travels pretty often, so I need to be able to handle all of them. Besides, I like my independence and right now I can take all 3 of my kids out to the store with me, but what do you do with that extra kid? Do you get a triplet stroller??? As you can see, I'm stressing over this, so please help!! Thanks!

 

I only have the twins... but wanted to say that yes 35 is getting older... but not ancient! I finally got pregnant at 38, and its been fine. like you said though it could take some time. if you were to get pregnant when the twins were 24 mo. then you'd have almost 3 yrs between them and a new pregnancy... that's about the timing that we were hoping for when we did our frozen IVF cycle... but it didn't work out.

as for strollers, at some point you ditch the stroller for the 2 to 3 yr olds... or you could wear the baby in a sling while you have the twins in a double stroller.

good luck with your decisions as you contemplate new life!

 

Well I'm currently pg w/ our 3rd. My boys will turn 2 in Nov and she's set to make her arrival in early Dec. I don't have any advice on how to handle twins and a newborn, yet ... gulp ... but I will share our thoughts on why we decided to ttc. We tried to get pg for 3 years, we had 2 m/c and used clomid to conceive the twins. Age is not really a factor for me, I'm 28, but I really wanted to have kiddos earlier than later. Our thinking was if we were going to have another we should start trying sooner rather than later because it could take forever to get pg, it could result in another loss or we'd have to turn to fertility and who knows where that would go. Our dr. gave us 6 months to try on our own and low and behold we were pg in 3. We knew prior to trying that we had to be okay w/ getting pg if it happened quick like it did. I have my days where I question our thinking but I'm truly excited and wouldn't change it. We haven't figured out the logistics yet about after she gets here and what we would do/need to get out of the house. She will be in at the start of winter so I'd imagine we will be held up in the house quite a bit. I do have my DH to help with errands and stuff too so I don't think we will get a triplet stroller, although the thought has crossed my mind. We will use the twin stroller and keep her in the carseat. Not doable for an individual but maybe you could just ask a friend to go with you. Or during those early months, have someone sit w/ your LO's. By the time you have another baby, your twins will be much more helpful and able to listen better so that's also something to think about. It's not an easy decision .... I know it's going to be hard for awhile but oh, so worth it! Good luck w/ your decision!

 

Thanks for the advice, ladies! I still don't know what to do yet. I think between my birthday and a trip to the ob dr for my yearly exam coming up, it's all got me thinking. I think I'll keep thinking about it for a bit. Maybe I'll wait for Christina to have her #3 so she can tell me if it's hell or not...lol. Thanks again!

 

LOL! I'll definitely keep you posted! Please say a prayer for me in the meantime ... :laughing:

 

My girls are not yet two and I just found out I am pregnant, very early so I am due in April. I was basically devastated for three days and then I got over it. I find it very overwhelming and scary and now all of our plans will be delayed or completely changed. But I am happy and feel so blessed. We used fertility drugs to get pregnant with the twins and this pregnancy is one big natural, spontaneous, unplanned event! I think we are all used to the drama a twin pregnancy involves, I think this time around it will be way easier and one crying newborn is NOTHING compared to two Good luck.

 

That might have been me

To the OP, my hubby travels, too, so I'm working out ways to do things like bedtime by myself. Right now that's the biggest challenge, but I'm slowly coming up with strategies that work. I'm lucky to have family around right now helping, but I'm trying to get it down so I can swing it when they all leave! I baby wear a lot to have my hands free, and I have stations throughout the house where I can put the baby down in a place safe and away from her smotheringly loving siblings (swing, bouncies up inside packNplay bassinets, etc.)! As for getting out, I don't think I can judge too much yet since I'm still in the newborn phase, but I'm pretty confident that once this little one hits the minimum requirements for my baby bjorn, I'll be getting out much more by myself. Right now it's tough, but I've been keeping her in a sling and I can get my other two into a shopping cart (to me, the sling is great, but with the other two around climbing all over, I prefer the extra padding/protection of a bjorn!). I honestly haven't gone out too much by myself yet, but I never let twins slow me down so I don't plan to stay housebound for long just because of #3! I am a little nervous because we've just potty trained the twins and I haven't figured out how I'll manage an eaergency potty break or wardrobe change if we have any major accidents, but I'll figure it out. There have definitely been some crazy moments so far, but I really think it's a nice age difference. I think it will be wonderful for all three of them to grow up so close together, and so far it's been an absolute joy to watch them interact. They really love her without an ounce of jealousy so far, and I know if they were a little older they would proably be unhappy to share my attention. GL with your decision!

To vancourertwins, you're story is just like mine! I was still nursing the twins when I got pregnant and hadn't had AF...plus the fact that we had tried for over two years plus fertility treantments and eventual IUI to get the twins...I was in shock! So I wouldn't have exactly planned it this close, but it's been wonderful so far.

 

Thanks mamabee! It was definitely you i was talking about! ^_^ I won't lie...your post scared the crap out of me! I think we're alot alike in the areas of liking to think alot, be prepared, and be independent! I think I think too much sometimes, but I like to be prepared, and in doing that I have to be realistic, which is why I posted my question. I'm still not sure if I can happily handle it all. I'm sure I would "do what I gotta do", but I would like to be happy about it all. I know the girls would be like 2.5yrs and that that would be easier but it's really hard to judge what that will look like. Besides, not all 2.5yr olds are good children...ie terrible twos! So I freak out thinking about the fact that I could have two naughty girls and be adding another one in the mix...not to mention the pregnancy itself! It has to be hard to be pg and have your hands full with 2 little ones. And God forbid you get put on bed rest...ugghhh! These are all the crazy things I think about. I kind of wish it would just happen one month but we've not been protecting against it since they were born so that's not looking feasible at this point. So I guess it's up to me to decide what to do and when to do it (and my hubby too...lol). Thanks again for the info...good advice!! And good luck to you and your family!