How do you make them clean up?

It's the thing that's driving me nuts... dumping toys all over and refusing to clean up. If I take their hand and make them do it, they think it's a game... It doesn't happen much and they're usually pretty good about cleaning up, but when they're not, I just don't know how to handle it... they don't understand consequences that are not direct yet, couldn't care less if I get rid of the toys for that matter (oh it has crossed my mind).

Same if they make a mess dropping cheerios or whatever too... I don't know how to make them do something they don't want to do.

 

if i ask my girls to do something & they don't, they get 3 counts & then a time out. after the time out, i ask again. if they refuse again, we repeat. i've never done more than two timeouts in a row yet but my girls are still young & not too willful. *crosses fingers*

 

Threatening with a time out usually works here. I don't do the counting thing, but if I say "do you want a time out for not listening?" and they still don't move, I start walking them over to time out. They usually start getting upset about having to go over to time out, so I ask them again if they'd rather go to time out for not listening or clean up their toys? And so far they've always gone back to clean their toys. If they still refused, they'd be put in time out and we'd try again.

 

I make it a game..."who can put more crayons away then Mommy? Who can get to the trash can faster then Mommy? Let's put all the yellow blocks back..." It seems to get them motivated, not sure what I will do when they see through my plan.

 

Another thing is that you have to be veeeeerrrrrry specific with my two.

"Royce, please pick up the yellow bulldozer by the couch and put it in the blue bin with all of your cars."

"Alice, please pick up three pieces of train track from the fireplace and put it in the tote."

"Royce, can you pick up five Thomas's and put them in the tote?"

"Alice, please pick up your princesses, count them, and put them in the bin."

It's super annoying. I do time outs when they don't listen, like between instructions.

"Royce, please pick up (item #1) and put it away."
He balks, gets counted to one, then puts the item away
"Royce, please pick up (item #2) and put it away."
He balks again, count started at two, then three would be a timeout.

 

We make it a game, also, How fast can we get things put away? Plus, I have always had the rule that upstairs all toys must be put away before getting out another one & they are pretty good at it. Down in the basement, in their playroom, they can make a bigger mess but upstairs is my domain & I like it tidy.

 

I've been singing the 'cleanup song' to them since they were about 18 months old. So, it's kind of a fun little game for them. Usually (it's not fail proof) when I start the song they chime in and start to help pick up. If they don't, I give them a warning and if they still choose not to listen then they get a TO. Once TO is over, I ask if they are ready to pick up. If not, they go back to TO.

I have also noticed (like pp mentioned) that it helps if you give them more specific instructions..."pick up the blocks and put them in the red bin", etc....

 

How do you guys manage to sing the clean up song etc when you're really p*ssed at them though? lol! Seriously, DS dumped puzzles and I told him to stop and he just dumped more, and I had to physically put him back there until he cleaned them up... now I just told them no tv until they cleaned up, and that finally worked, but they really test my patience at time and I have no patience for the clean up song or asking nicely, lol.

I ended up putting them both in their crib for 2 minutes then went back in and tried again...

 

Normally I do the being very specific with who puts each thing away and I join in and encourage them. I have tidy-up time at set points each day and I have it scheduled so that there's something fun (story/snack/going out) right after to motivate them with.

Most of the time they are very good about it, I start them off early so they're just used to it. However the occasional times when one of them is/was really refusing to help then what I'd do is sit them by the thing they're supposed to be cleaning. I would make them stay there until they'd finished their tantrum and then they would have to tidy up whatever it was, plus anything else that was their part of the clean up. I guess that's kind of like a time out, just without taking them away from the tidying.

 

I agree with being specific. Make sure that every time they are in the room and you are picking up that you ask them to help.

 

very specific here, too.
"ivi, please pick up the pink and yellow plates by teh couch and put them in your kitchen. thank you. "
"mina, please put your vacuum back by mommy's in the laundry room. thank you. "

and lots of positive reinforcement...

"wow! thanks, guys! you guys are so great at helping put toys away!"

however, on days they don't want to do it, and totally ignore me... i threaten to give their toys to the neighbor kids ardon:

 

This. Make it a game. I also tell them they can't play with anything else until they pick up the first thing. Generally, the desire to play with another toy will motivate them to clean up the first thing. Or they will start playing with the first thing again, making it moot.

 

I'm lucky in that my boys actually LOVE to clean up, but starting at age 1, we've been strict about it. Now, for the most part, it takes encouragement to keep them going, but they'll usually do it on their own. When they do fight it, some things we do to help are:

*Tell them what we can do when they finish cleaning up (ie play Candyland once the floor is all clean & there's room for the board or play blocks or play cards, etc)

*Tell them what toy is going into time out if they don't pick it up

*Sing the clean up song (that doesn't work very well in my house...my kids will chime in, but still lay on the floor while singing it & not cleaning!)

*Make it a game (we've recently done this & they LOVE IT!)

*Make it a race ("Who can clean up more in 1 min?" "OK, 'A' got 5 items in the bins & 'B' got 3, let's try again!")

*Be specific with instructions (ie what toy they should get & where they should put it)

*Threaten, and follow through with, time outs or loss of privileges

*CONSTANT, POSITIVE praise for doing well (I know some moms give rewards when their kids clean up, I do not, but it could work)

*Be consistent. Make clean up part of your daily routine. My boys KNOW our living room has to be cleaned up before bedtime, so it's expected & less apt to be fought each night.

One thing I notice in my house, is the larger the mess, the harder it is to get them to clean. I think a super large mess is too overwhelming for them (as it is for adults, too!). When that's the case, we focus on 1 thing to clean up first & do it that route (ie trains, then books, then cars, etc). Some times if they're cleaning good, I'll help them along a little & that keeps them going.

Good luck...I cannot STAND a cluttered floor, so when our 'magic' number 1 hit here, we've had the boys helping to clean! Makes clean up easy & smooth around here! Hope your house starts cleaning up easy soon!

 

I agree - clean-up song, make it a game, very specific and we give them each a bag (just one of those reusable grocery bags - which they love) and they like filling it up and putting it "where it goes."

 

Ok this is an old thread, but I wasn't talking about the regular nighttime cleaning up, but more the 'you did it you clean it' type of clean up - like I said, when you tell them to stop something or whatever, and instead they just dump it to annoy you - nobody is in the mood for games when this happens.

 

Oh, in that case, I make them clean it up immediately and if they were uncooperative, TO. Which usually ends up in TO because whomever did it is in a mood anyway. Then after TO they get to clean it up or do a similar chore. Alice got three TOs once because she was being a turd.

 

We use TOs too if they don't clean up. It might take a couple for them to know you are serious.

 

Oops! I didn't even realize it was an old thread. It was on the first page. Sorry.