I am so bored!

Ok, I must be the odd one out as every other twin mom I know seems too busy to get online, but I'm seriously bored out of my mind.

How do other SAHMs manage not to go nuts? I've tried playdates and it's not working out, can't seem to find any group in the area that doesn't have 80 members and big playdates, which make it impossible to get to know anyone (especially when you're the only one with 2 yo twins and you have a hard time talking to people you don't know, especially when they're all in groups already). There's so many errands I can do and they are getting difficult as my kids now hate the stroller. My kids get into everything so reading or watching tv is hard (still managed to read a book last week somehow, but they made a lot of mess)... DD gets mad if I sit at the computer half the time too, but even that is getting really old anyway.

It's getting seriously depressing! I don't know how I'm going to keep sane another year like this...

 

Mine are older now, but I remember that problem. I would garden and weed and let them play around in the yard. Instead of books, try magazines. Much easier to put down and pick up later. I would look through cookbooks (easy to put down) and put post-its on recipes for future reference. The kids would come and point and pick out food to fix. I'd clean and give them the broom or the vacuum or a dust cloth while I did something else in the room.

I found a good friend at the library. She was a nanny so some of the other moms thought they were above her and she was having trouble making friends too. I was the lady with twins so it didn't fit into their idea of good playdate material either. Me and her became friends. Honestly, most of the time we'd pack picnic and go to the park. Or, we'd pack picnic and spend at least one day a week at the zoo. Or, we'd just go to each others houses and let the kids loose in a childproof room and we'd sit and talk. Having grown-up conversation to look forward to once a week helped alot. I bet there is someone else on the outside looking in somewhere that would love a friend.

Oh yeah. I had ditched the stroller by that age. We switched to a radio flyer wagon since we tended to zoos and parks. The kids absolutely, totally adored it. I have the one with pop-up seats (and seatbelts) and would hang a soft handled cooler off the back for the zoo. I have the canopy for the sun. We'd go on walks. We'd walk to the park with the infant pool. They'd play around by my feet in the water and I could talk to moms. I had a zoo pass and a museum pass. I honestly didn't stay home very much.

Marissa

 

I agree, it does get boring. I honestly don't do much for myself unless it's naptime or after they are in bed. Otherwise there are too many interruptions and I just get frustrated. I usually try to do one thing with them each day that's more of a structured, or planned activity, to break up the day. Yesterday we went out in the baby pool. Today they painted on their art easel outside, and then ran around in the sprinkler. We ate lunch outside and then played on their swingset until nap time. Other times we do errands - sometimes out of necessity (grocery shopping), or sometimes just for something to do - I like to browse and look for deals. Sometimes I'll park at one end of a shopping strip and walk it with them, hitting the good stores. I think tomorrow I will take them outside with a bunch of books to do story time and I'll play with them in their playhouse. They've gotten away from playing with it on their own lately, so I figure maybe if I bring out some pretend food and dolls or something, maybe I can give them some ideas to get back into it on their own again. I also like to do lots of craft projects with them - even if they sometimes end up a disaster! I spend other days getting caught up on cleaning or getting dinner ready in the crock pot in the morning (I am a really bad meal planner, so this is rare!), or doing laundry. I refuse to do any cleaning or cooking during nap time or after they are in bed. So I use the time I'd be sitting around bored watching them play to do these things.

Even after all this though, it is still hard to get motivated. If I don't have something "planned" in advance, I find myself sitting at the computer most of the day getting really bored. I do wish I could find a good play group too. All my friends are working moms and it's hard to stay in touch. It can get very lonely and depressing at times. The few things I do for myself are reading, running and I do some part time accounting work. Without these things I would have lost it long ago.

 

It is hard to get out of the house with them when they don't want to sit in strollers and/or a basket. We are going through that right now. :headbang: BUT...I would still recommend getting out of the house when you can (even if it is only for an hour). It will break up the monotony of the day...go to the library storytime, take them to McDonald's playscape, go for a walk at a walking trail, take them to a park, etc...

Also, get creative with your time at home. Throw an arts/craft time into your schedule. Get a book similiar to this (if you don't already have one). Maybe it will give you some ideas.

Another suggestion - If you don't like the local playgroups, start one of your own through meetup.com. I did. We didn't have one in the area (the closest was 30 minutes away). It was a definite sanity saver for me from about 18 months old until now.

 

I went to the library last week in hopes of going to story time... but they'd canceled it... it was still fun though our library has a nice section and there were several moms there. I hadn't been before b/c going and having them sit for storytime was intimidating... but just going to enjoy the library books and puzzles is doable! I'd second giving that a try. and what a bonus if you find a good friend like the pp said!

have you tried. www.meetup.com for local playgroups? we have many groups in my local area, though like you said some are 80+ moms... that's way too big... but what is nice about that is that someone is bound to be going to a playdate with a group that big.

stroller... I still use it for playdates and such, its nice to hang the bag on and keep track of things. and for now ours love it still... I did try the library last week with just their backpack leashes... and it went ok... but trying to go to the bathroom was a bit of a disaster trying to keep track of them both and have them potty etc. the stroller at least gives one a place to sit etc.

good luck!

 

I also searched our library card catalog for a "craft" book for toddlers and checked one out. Today the nanny made a silly cow mask with them and they had a ball. anyway the pp mentioned a book and I am getting excited to see what I can do with ours next for crafts. I haven't done many with them yet, and really wanted to do it. so that can be what's on your list to get at the library if you go.

 

ooh, I like that mask idea. I think my kids would love that too! And I second just hanging out at the library. I try to do that once a week to get books for myself, new dvds for them, and some toddler reference books. They play with the toys, puzzles, train table and other kids while I sit and read. We all really enjoy it.

 

I totally agree with Laura. Arts and crafts are a great thing at this age and can keep them busy for awhile.

I also think that going out is the only way not to get too bored. Even if it's just for a walk in the park or around the mall. We've let ours walk around the mall since they first started walking and we don't use the stroller. I just use the leashes and they have a lot of fun.

How about starting your own playgroup on Meetup.com? Have you thought about putting them into swimming or gymnastics or a music class? You can find those through your local recreation center sometimes and they are pretty cheap.
I think we all get bored at some point but you have to push through it and find something new to do. I actually got really involved with my twins group, so maybe some sort of volunteer work?

 

Mine are much older than yours now, but, like Marissa, I remember the struggle well. While I'm not generally one to get bored, I did long for some reading and/or computer time. So, I set about training my kids to be good independent players. It wasn't easy, but I am so thankful I did!!! People with kids the same age as mine still complain to me about never getting a second to themselves, but right now, mine are in the other room playing and I'm here on TS.

Here are some of the things I did:
1) MADE them play by themselves. In the beginning I would set up an activity or pick out a toy and make suggestions for playing with it. Then, I would begin playing with them. Next, I would tell they to play by themselves for a few minutes while mommy did something quick in the other room. I'd let them know I would be right back and I would. Each time I did this, I made my absence a little longer. Eventually, I was able to leave for long stretches.

2) After they got comfortable with step 1, I would suggest they leave wherever I was and go play. Again, I might make a game or toy suggestion like, "Why don't you go play with your Mr. Potato Head in your room. When you make something silly, come show me!" This way they knew that I was accessible and ready to be there for them.

3) Finally, on the training them part, for important things I can now tell them not to call for me or come get me unless it is an emergency. I'll say something like, "Mommy has to work on XYZ. I need you to not interrupt me unless it is an emergency. If you can be good and not interrupt me, we can play a game when I am done." So, they have the promise of a reward if they can give me 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time. Obviously, I didn't start this until they were older.

4) I expected interruptions. If I expect a few, I won't get as annoyed. However, if I've asked them not to interrupt me and it isn't an emergency, they do get disciplined for disobeying.

5) I make sure to give them plenty of attention and spend some "quality" time with them. I've seen that if I get really busy they get really clingy. Even though we are all here together, they start to feel neglected and crave attention. But, if we really spend some time each day talking, they are happy to go play by themselves for a while. If not, they revert back to the way they acted before I did all of the above. However, you must train them in the first place!

Like I said, I am so thankful that I took the time and struggled my way through all of this. I really believe that being able to play independently is a great skill for kids to have! Plus, if I'm not directly involved, their creativity and imaginations grow and they invent new games and play with their toys in new and different ways!

 

Oh my kids play alone really well, they just get into things they are not supposed to just as much, lol.

 

do you have a Barnes&Noble locally? In the back of their kids book section they have a Thomas Train table that the kids can play with - it was our Saturday afternoon destination for months!! There's usually a few kids there and parents as well - usually I'd just strike up a convo with someone...

 

We do but it's pretty small and they don't have that table... there's a toy shop in the same mall that has a table but my kids go nuts in that store.

I need to check the library one day when I don't have the kids with me, I know our last one had nothing for kids to play with except computers (ugh), hopefully this one will.

 

I'm in a meetup Mom's group but it's huge! I still feel lonely because I rarely get to talk to anyone as I am chasing my 2 or being referee. I do like my twins club, but that is more for me. We make one day library day, but mine still do not do story time. They just don't care yet. I would highly recommend taking a class if you can. There's free ones through our metro parks. I joined a gym and started taking mine at around 2 1/2. They can stay there up to 2 hours and I get a break and some excercise. Are there any Mom's day out programs around you?

 

No moms day out

 

Bummer! I was going to suggest this as well. Mine just started MDO (1st day today). I think it will be good for them and REALLY good for me! :lol:

 

I am pregnant so not doing so much now, but before we would go out 4 out of 5 days. One day was library day(we have a great story time I started before mine turned 2), park day one day, errands one day. We went out so much mine were really good at listening, staying with me, sitting in the cart/stroller. The more you do it the easier it is. I also haven't found a great meetup group but ahve tried. You could always start your own. Find some mom-n-me activities at your local rec center. THey typically have dance and gymnastics ones for 2 yr olds. I dont' knwo what other classes yours might have. Get out of the house even if just a walk around the neighborhood, we do ours on tricycles so don't go very far. How about a museum membership, our science museum is very reasonable.

My kids love to do arts and crafts from playdough, water colors, stamps, color with crayons/markers/colored pencils, sidewalk chalk, cut and glue, they can spend hours andit keeps us all busy.

 

There's no recreation center here.

We have a museum membership but it's 45 minutes away and my kids run all over the place, I can't handle it alone... I've done crafts but they get bored after 20 minutes and it's just not worth it for the time it takes cleaning up (plus they're crabbier if I keep switching activities than when I let them play on their own).

We've been going out 3-4 times a week for a year but now it's really a pain, they don't listen, they don't let me put them in their car seat or the stroller, they're whining and having tantrums in the store... it's exhausting.

 

When your kids turn 2.5, they may be able to do drop-off preschool or playcare for a few hours, I know I was really happy when we were able to do that! It gave me more time to spend with my daughter too. I agree it can be boring. I live in a rainy area too, so going outside is not always an option. But I am determined to do more outings this fall to break up the monotony of the day. I just started being able to bring all 3 of my kids to the zoo by myself, this is a really fun activity. (It was too hard to bring them all by myself when the boys were younger and more difficult to control.) We also have indoor playspaces in our city, cafes with play areas and gymnastics drop-in times. The children's museums are fun too.

 

I appreciate all the replies, I've really looked into everything I could though, but it's pretty tough when there isn't much available in the area (or only for crazy prices).