Anyone have tips on venturing out of the gated living room?

We moved about 4 months ago, right when the boys where starting to walk. I was also dealing with a difficult pregnancy. I kept having pre-term contractions, so the doctors wanted me to take it easy. This meant trying not to chase the kids around, and not picking them up more than absolutely necessary. DH and I decided to gate off the entire living room, and baby proof it. We stayed in the LR during all awake time. I had the baby, and she is now a month old. I am feeling really guilty and embarassed because my kids don't know how to act outside of my living room. We didn't really go anywhere while I was pregnant, because it was hard for DH to chase them around by himself, and I wasn't supposed to. Now, I want to get them used to venturing around the rest of our house, and being other places. It is hillarious when I open the gate and let them walk free in the house. They run and want to get into everything. With the new baby, I haven't had the time to let them run free, but I want to get there. We also took them to DH's brothers last weekend for a BBQ. We chased them around the backyard, but after about 45 minutes, we ended up putting them in the stroller. Not only was it exhausting, but there was so much dangerous stuff around, and anytime someone took them, they didn't understand how much they needed to be watched. DH's dad let one of them almost fall of a 2 foot cement step.

Now that the baby is a month old, I am getting my energy back, and physically able to chase them. Anyone have any tips on how to do this with the least stress. Should I start at home? And is it better to baby proof the rest of the house, or leave things (as long as they aren't dangerous) so they get used to learning they can't get into everything. For example, I have a shelf with DVD's in the dining room. Do I move them, so they won't pull them all down, and I have to pick them up. Or is it better to leave it so I can gradually teach them they can't mess with everything. I ask this because I know when I go to other peoples houses they will need to learn some self restraint.

These are my first kids, and I don't know alot about this stuff. I have friends with kids, but they can't relate or give me good advice on this, because they don't have twins. I was hoping you wonderful moms might have some thoughts!

Thanks!

 

First off, congratulations on the new baby! :yahoo: Kudos to you for making it through a difficult pregnancy with twin toddlers; I can't imagine how rough that must have been!

Secondly, I think that when my guys were under 18 months was the worst time for them getting into stuff. So I don't think that it's just the fact that your boys are savoring their freedom that makes them run hog wild; we got rid of the baby pen when the boys were about 10 months old and they still went crazy when they were started to walk confidently. I have a hysterical video of Jack tearing apart my shelf of cookbooks and recipes. :lol:

I kind of used the 90% rule when baby-proofing the downstairs; I safeguarded about 90% of the house (everything dangerous and easily broken, especially) and used the other 10% as "teachable moments". So we put the Super Yard in front of the hearth/TV, locked all cabinets and drawers, strapped heavy furniture to the walls etc. But I left the shelf of cookbooks open, didn't lock the garbage can, didn't remove the coffee tables, etc. and tried to teach them what kind of touching is permitted. Sure they went through a phase of getting into *everything* they weren't supposed to, but after a while that lost its luster and they normally leave these things alone now. There were a few months when I did *not* want to take them to other peoples' houses (I was running after them like crazy), but that was definitely the worst before 18-20 months. Now I'm pretty confident that they won't destroy everything they touch or kill themselves!

Hope this helps!

 

We just recently opened up the rest of our hours to the twin-adoes! Since they were about 6 months old we had the dining/kitchen area completely gated off from our living room. About a month ago we got the brilliant idea to open the house back up (minus the bathrooms and our room and the big kids room.

I put away as much "stuff" as i could, but I left all my cabinets open (except under the sink). After picking up all my canned goods for the third time one day, I looped some ponytail holders around my cabinet handles :lol: Otherwise though, at any given time there are tupperware containers and lids, and bottles of juicy juice scattered through my kitchen, not to mention the child safe fridge magnets that decorate my floor. But they already know the stove is "hot", and that the garbage can is "no no no". We have to keep our dining room table clear of anything, because they like to climb up on top of it at least twice a day (we're working on that one...).

Overall I'm glad we did open things up, it's nice not having to step over or through a gate all the time, and they don't fuss near as much because they are stuck behind a gate while I'm cooking. The downfall is they can come tug on my pant legs when they want something if I'm cooking! :lol:

I like Valerie's 90% rule, that's probably roughly what we did too!

 

I never really closed off any part of the house for any length of time. We have a one level (with a basement) home. We do have a bonus room that is one step down from the rest of the house so they never went in there till they could navigate that one step. In my kitchen, I put child locks on the pantry cabinet, the cabinet under the sink and the cabinet with the pots and pans although I do let them play with those from time to time.

From time to time when we would play in the living room and I had no energy to get up and get them out of something they shouldn't be in, I would put a gate up in the door way to the kitchen and shut all doors in the hallway. This way they could roam free and not hear me say "No" all the time. They can now navigate the step to the bonus room but I really don't like them being back there b/c of the computer and computer related things. That room is being turned into a homeschool room and the toys are now back there so they will be back there most days with me as I teach my older ds. I will probably put the gate in that doorway so I don't have to worry about them roaming the house. I will work on the computer stuff so they can't get into it tho.

As for the dvds, what about getting a case for the dvds and putting the jewel cases (or whatever you call them) in a box in the basement. We did this with our dvds. They are in a zippered case and put up where the kids can't get them. It saves on space!

I guess until they really respond to you saying leave something alone, remove it. Put child locks on what you can. Maybe put a small basket of fun toys in each room so you can redirect them to a toy from something that you don't want them getting into. After a while of mommy taking them away from something, the fun ends.

Hope this helps!

 

No real advice but I'm in the same boat as you and I don't even have an excuse. We have a front room which is meant to be a formal living room and we gated that and turned it into a playroom. We pretty much carry them from there to the kitchen to their bedrooms. We have a split level and there are 3 different sets of stairs (not counting the basement) so it is very hard to let them go unless we are hovering. I am having a hard time figuring out how much freedom to let them have. So confusing!

 

Thanks for the great advice, and making me feel better. Thank you Valerie for suggesting it could just be their age. This means I may not be able to "train" them like I thought for a while, but at least there is hope they will grow out of it at some point. Sometimes I beat myself up to much, but then I remember, things are a little different with 2 toddlers!

I did think of one thing after posting... I need to figure out what to do with the baby. They like to grab her and throw toys at her. So, that will be another thing I have to figure out.

You all have some great ideas. I especially love the idea of putting a basket of toys in each room to redirect them. Now I just need to find the time to start baby proofing! Wish me luck!

 

I have a hard time deciding how much to let them do as well. I teeter back and forth between the guilt that I need to take the time to let them "explore" and excusing myself because they are twins, and it is HARD! I think for me, I am going to try to find a balance between the two. I am not going to let them completely run free all of the time right now, but I am going to try a little at a time. Every little bit helps right?

Don't beat yourself up - we are good moms!

 

its definitely a hard age! I wish I'd tried earlier on to get the kids to "behave" better... generally ours are good, but its just so hard that there are two that don't know the 'rules'...

one book I read, I think it was Baby Wise Bk 2, or Toddler Wise - same author... it suggested not giving them free reign ... but rather making sure that they know their boundaries. so... with your situation, don't consider it all bad that they don't have free reign of the house. I guess that the next step is to somehow create a mentality in them that they need to "ask permission" to touch things, or go places etc. THIS is what I am trying to do... easier said than done.

Our house is actually a mess, and the living room/dining room has been cleaned up more and more as they have gotten to explore more areas and have been able to reach further. I will say that in our situation, more structure helps them a lot. I have put most of their toys away in baskets in cabinets that are locked. we tend to only get one basket out at a time, and then I have them help me clean it up...

as for your dvds... if you can take one thing at a time and teach them not to touch them, that would probably be best... but as an end result, its easier to just move the dvds. I had to move many things b/c it's better for me to not have to be saying "no don't touch" a million times a day. of course I realize that if I'd just spend the time to teach them respect for items it would be better in the long run!

good luck!

 

I agree that it's probably an age thing, not to mention a lack of energy on your part due to the pregnancy....I can't even begin to imagine! Kudos to you on making it thru the tough pregnancy and congrats on the new little one!!

We have a house with an open floor plan so I've never been able to find a baby gate that will section off any one part of our house....which means mine always have had free reign. I have to say I was surprised at how quickly my LO's picked up the word "no"...sometimes with a small tap on the hand. Since learning that our lives have been so much easier! That being said, we do spend every night putting the house back together....DVD's, Tupperware and can goods! I don't mind them playing with that stuff because I know they won't hurt it and it can't hurt them so I choose to pick my battles.

 

My kids were gated in a room until they were 18 months... then we moved and they had 2.5 rooms because we rented a small place and we had to gate off the kitchen (oven got really hot), stairs and the hallway (only place we could put random stuff that wasn't kid friendly). We baby proofed everything and didn't leave anything where they could reach it. It worked out great to be honest, but yeah, I felt awful and so guilty, but I really didn't want to drive myself nuts saying 'no' all day either.

Now we moved again last month and they have full run of the house (except bathrooms) and it's not fun but it would have been much worse a year ago. DS still gets into things he shouldn't (he stops when we ask, but still goes back later grrr), so I can't imagine what it would have been like a year ago! At least now they know to leave dirty dishes and the trash alone... It depends on your kids though, DD was always good about not getting into things but DS is awful about it. So forget watching some TV or anything, I have to check on them every 5 minutes to make sure they're not doing too much mess... so glad they were safely gated for a looooong time.

So yeah I'd just babyproof everything and move everything where they can't reach before giving them more space...

 

I have a tip in regards to teaching the boys how to touch the baby. My twins were 15 months old when my baby was born, and would poke her in the eyes or roughly pat/bop her in the face, pull her tiny fingers, etc. I taught them to "rub her belly" as that was a pretty safe spot and said it a million times until they did learn to rub her belly when they wanted to touch her. I never left her where they could get to her when I was out of sight though. I put the offending toy in time out when it was thrown, and that helped - some. I also did the big "no-no" and put her bouncy chair up on the counter while she was tiny and not moving and put her swing just on the other side of my gated-off living room.

I did/do like Valerie and baby-proofed 90% and just let them explore.

I cannot even imagine how hard it was on you to have to basically be on modified bed rest during your pregnancy. I was on strict bedrest with the twins and was TERRIFIED every day that I'd have to do that with the second pregnancy, but didn't, thank Goodness.

You'll be so surprised how quickly the baby will grow and will begin to interact with the twins. My baby loves her sisters and cracks up at them all of the time. It's wild at times, but tons of fun too.

The most recent craziness was when I tried a potty-training weekend and the baby would crawl in the accidents on the floor before I could finish up with the twin on the potty and go back to clean them up. Then when I'd get that done, the baby would be pulled up on the toilet splashing in the water, and that was with three of us managing them!!! I call it "herding cats"...