daycare accidents

Our twins are our only children so we don't have any prior experience to draw upon when it comes to daycare. We really do love the daycare they go to and have been pleased with each room's caregivers. Until now. I was concerned when they moved to this new room which has toddlers ranging from 12-18 months because of all the change. They no longer napped as they liked in cribs but were scheduled all day long with activities and one nap around mid-day. They have been in the room for about 3 months now and I still don't think they are adjusted to one nap. On weekends and vacations, they are still two-time-a-day nappers.

My bigger concern now is an incident that happened yesterday. My little boy didn't have his shoes on, just socks, and was playing around/with a small stool. The teacher sat down on the stool which was resting upon his foot. She didn't see it and well, you can imagine the rest. I was VERY upset. I know this was an accident and she was very upset about it. It is not broken, just swollen and a bit tender. We are trying to decide if we will talk with the daycare directors. I don't want to be one of these crazy, overly-protective moms that drive teachers and school staff nuts. But I am a bit concerned. The ratio is below our state requirements - 4.5 to 1 - so I don't think it's a matter of too many little ones.

I guess I am just asking for advice on things to be aware of, how much do these things happen, what should we say..if anything?

 

It honestly sounds like an accident to me. Claire fell off the couch one day when she was just a few months old because I walked into another room. Stuff happens. I would be irritated, too, but it does sound like an accident. As long as they don't get hurt all the time, I would just try to shrug it off. Kids are going to get hurt sometimes, even at home.

One of the things that helped me decide to stay home after all was that our daycare also wanted them down to one nap at 12 months and their schedule would have been filled all day, too. I didn't like that either.

 

Oh, I am so sorry this happened. Poor thing. I am sure she feels horrible and I have to say in this situation I wouldn't say anything. It was truly an accident and you could have done the same thing at home. It would be different if he wasn't being watched. It is just unfortunate. Besides the nap what are your other concerns? Granted the naps are HUGE! But this one time thing wouldn't warrant any meeting for me if I were in your shoes unless there were other accidents going on. Jeez - 4.5 to 1 ratio is a great ratio!

 

The stool incident really does just sound like a freak accident. I wouldn't pull my kids out of daycare over that. My two fall down at daycare all the time, but they fall down at home all the time too. Toddlers just fall down - and bump into stuff - and fall off of stuff - all the time, no matter where they are. Goose-eggs and black eyes and squished fingers are fairly common, I'm afraid. When there is an incident, the daycare calls me immediately to let me know what happened and why. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it so long as you feel the staff is telling you everything and notifying you promptly when something happens so that you can be part of the decisionmaking process re whether medical treatment is necessary, what treatment is necessary, etc.

The nap thing is hard. Really hard. That was the toughest part of starting daycare for us. My girls are also in a room full of 12-18 month olds, and they also only take one nap a day (a 2.5 hour nap around lunchtime). The first few weeks in this room were horrible. The girls would come home terribly cranky and would sleep for 5 or 6 hours a day on weekends. But now, after only a month in the room, they're starting to adjust. They are sending signals that they are ready to drop the second nap on weekends. Last weekend, they only slept about 45 minutes during their morning nap (when they usually sleep 1.5 hours then), and one baby would not sleep at all during the afternoon. They've also started going to bed about a half hour earlier at night and sleeping about a half hour later in the morning - all a normal part of the transition to one nap. I think most kids start transitioning to one nap between 15 and 18 months. So hopefully your kids will start adjusting soon too.

 

i agree with PPs that the accident sounds like just an accident. i think back over the things my girls have done when i've been standingrightthere and i know how awful i felt about it or the number of times i've knocked my kids over or accidently hip checked them just because they're short. :blush: toddlers are aptly named.

i do have to say though that i am shocked at how many daycares drop to one nap at 12 months. i mean, if the room is 12 - 18 months why not make the switch at 18 months? or better yet, why not have two toddler rooms? one with one a day nappers & one with two a day nappers? or even better, why not have a seperate napping room? then they could nap whenever they needed to. :unknw:

 

I think as far as daycare accidents go, I would ask yourself if its something that could have happened to you at home. I have squished hands and feet before just because they are hard to see and they get under foot easily! I bet the worker felt really bad. If the daycare lets you know right away and acts appropriately to take care of them after an accident, then I wouldn't stress about that. The nap thing is totally different and I don't know how I would do that because ours have actually been on one nap by their choice since their first birthday.

 

I don't know, I feel very differently about this. I would be concerned about that teacher that is in with your kid. I don't think the "no shoes" thing is an issue, but her not paying attention to where she was sitting certainly is! Our boys get plenty of scrapes/bruises at daycare, bite other kids, have other kids bite them, are active and fall down... I would NOT have a problem with this as long as they tell me before I notice it what happened because honestly, teachers can't intervene all the time before things happen or prevent other kids from doing things...

but I don't think it is acceptable that a child got hurt because a teacher didn't pay attention to where she was sitting- especially if a child was sitting right by her!!! in my mind I equate that to not paying attention to where she steps/sits around kids... is at the very best, spacy and would put my kid at risk for being hurt. In my mind this is NOT an "Ok daycare accident" as your child did not hurt himself or even was hurt by another kid, but was hurt by the teachers negligence. And that is what it is. In my mind that is simply not acceptable. It's not even like your child hurt himself by unlocking something and getting into somewhere where he wasn't supposed to go, this was sheer out not paying attention and negligence and I would certainly be concerned about what ELSE the teacher isn't paying attention to.

I would seriously bring this up to the director and mention that you are concerned by the teacher's lack of paying attention and negligence, and ask if there have been ANY other reported incidents resulting from negligence with that teacher. For all you know this teacher could have a history of it... if not, it needs to be on file... Seriously, you need to report it... because if this is a pattern or if something happens again it will be on file. And how awful would you feel if another kid got REALLY hurt, or your kid got really hurt, because you didn't say anything?

If it were me... I'd report it as above but also say that you "understand things happen"... but if anything ever happened again as a result of that teacher's negligence (to my kid or another person's kid... within reason, but if she left things out that the kids weren't supposed to be in to, or sat on another kid, etc.) I'd pull my kid out. A good ratio means nothing if the teacher is incapable or negligent.

 

oops duplicate post.

 

I tend to think it was just an unfortunate accident, one that could happen to any of us twin moms at some point. Though I also understand how terribly upsetting it would be too! As for the daycare worker, did they file an "accident report"? Our daycare always files an accident report anytime an accident occurs, which the parent signs and it goes on file. And they have been very good about doing that with our boys. I think there have been 2 or 3 accident reports filed for fairly minor stuff (one LO failing over on an activity table and getting a slight red mark on his face, things like that). If they file accident reports then you could ask if this kind of thing has happened before with this teacher, but I bet it was just an accident that she probably feels terrible about.

As for daycare policies we just recently got introduced to the one nap rule too when our boys were moved to a young toddler room for 11 to 16 month olds. It boggles my mind that our daycare already separates out the younger toddlers from the older toddlers who don't need 2 naps, yet they still implement 1 nap a day. I understand that some toddlers drop their second nap early around 12 months old, but it seems like most don't drop to 1 nap until they are 15 or 16 months (or older). So even though daycares are fond of saying "all children are different", when it comes to naps they prefer to treat them all the same and assume that all toddlers can get by on one nap a day. I am typing this as my DH is riding round and round the neighborhood allowing our boys to get in a 20-30 min cat nap otherwise they would never make it to bed time

 

Wow! I guess I am a negligent parent because I know there have been times while we are playing and one of them starts crying and I think, "What the heck?" until I realize a hand or foot is under a toy I am leaning on. Not to mention the times I don't see the pint size speed racer coming up behind me and I step on him or knock him down. I think there are trusting people and people who are quick to point fingers and I guess you have to figure out which group you fall into...

 

Hmmm... didn't see it this way. We did have one incident when our boys were VERY little where one got sat on because grandma broke two of our household rules (she left him on the couch, unattended, and UNDER BLANKETS- so no-one saw him on the couch! needless to say she almost got banned from them after this) but we haven't had anything else like this happen. Maybe I'm just way overcautious with them but I can honestly say since that day I've never sat on, stepped on, or leaned on anything the boys were under- I'm very aware of their whereabouts before I move because I'm so much bigger than them. (However, they have had TONS of accidents jumping off of things or climbing/falling off things.) I wouldn't even cuddle them when I was sleepy because I was afraid I'd fall asleep and roll over and crush them in my sleep. I just assumed everyone was like that around little kids. Maybe I'm the unusual one here?

In any case, whether my vigilence in this is unusual or if is normal for these types of accidents (stepping on or sitting on kids) to happen happen commonly and my vigilence is out of the ordinary, if it is part of someone's job to take care of little kids, and make sure they are safe, don't you think they are neglecting their duties to not even pay attention where they move or sit down among a group of kids? I don't expect them to prevent all accidents or be able to prevent kids from hurting eachother, but she herself not pay attention and end up hurting a kid? I'd understand if she tripped or got pushed or a kid darted right in front or under her or something, or if she was holding a kid and he flailed and bumped against something... even if she didn't see a kid right behind her and she knocked a kid over when she turned around... but I do think she has she has a higher duty of care than the average person because she's around a group of kids all the time, it's her job to take care of them and keep them safe. She's considered a professional in this respect and should have/should have had training on safety (not a random person or friend you have babysitting). Or am I totally off base with this?

 

I would also say it sounds like an accident!!

Have those of you who are having trouble w their twins having 1 nap too soon looked into home daycare? I have an in home daycare and always give the kids 2 naps if needed, but I'm a true believer in sleep! The last two kids who came to me at 15mo were down to 1 nap already and I was shocked, that's the earliest I've ever had a child in my care down to 1! There are things we can do that centers can't (I know I worked at one and hated it!)

 

I definitely see the point you are making (desolation_anonymous) and I applaud how you are explaining it in your second post. But I do tend to think that mistakes are going to happen in any profession, expertise or not, because we are human. And when anyone else watches your kids you take a risk that you have only so much control and it will feel different and icky as things happen in a setting that you are not a part of, so you have to think about each situation carefully. Is it that you truly believe it warrants a legitimate complaint, or is it that you feel guilty about this happening because you can't protect your child personally 24/7 so to help yourself feel better you want someone to answer for it. I am just posing the question, as it is the kind I have to ask myself every time my emotions are playing tricks with my mind. Believe me, I think it is a tough choice. Because at the end of it is a hurt little one and that is terribly unfortunate, and I can imagine mommy was very upset!

I leave my girls home 3 days a week with a nanny. She is wonderful and imaginative with them. But they are fast and spidery and I am prepared to hear about a mishap once in a while...even though I don't want anything to happen to them, things have happened on my watch. One day she was closing the gate with her back turned, turned around and stepped on Jude's foot (who had magically appeared from several feet away). Jude was upset hard for a little bit, actually the nanny's startled little scream scared her. I was coming in the back door, saw the whole thing, and was laughing. Only for a second though because I had to settle Jude. The nanny however was mortified. I had to reassure her that I have already done that twice. I know from her reaction that that is enough to make her realize they are getting quicker and she will be even more vigilant in the future. I guess my point is you have to choose which battles you are going to start to keep yourself sane. I am just working off of the facts that I read, there may be other problems with this teacher or more background to the story. But in daycare with a ratio of more than 4 kids to teachers (in CO it can be as high as 9 to 1), I would suspect they kinda run around with their heads cut off keeping track of all these toddlers, so accidents may happen, hopefully at a minimum.

To the OP...Maybe one way to look at it would be to imagine this as a news story....then imagine if you read it....with the circumstances would you say the parent was overreacting or would you say the teacher needed to be reprimanded? Then I think you will find your answer. Good luck..I hope your LO is doing better. :hug: What doesn't help in all of this it sounds like it is taking a bit to heal and we all know how painful that must have been. Oh, and desolation_anonymous, in a bit of jest, may I just say that I don't think your vigilance has been out of the ordinary, however, I venture to say that so far you have been very lucky! Send some of that west for me.

 

:clapping: Betsy!
To the OP-I hope your little one is feeling better. I don't have children in daycare, so you can take my post with a grain of salt...but I am also of the camp that sometimes an accident is just an accident and I would say if there are more accidents and you begin to feel uncomfortable with them, then I would definitely bring it up to the daycare provider. I know just being home in my house with two children and three cats, I've tripped over a child, knocked into them and stepped on toes, fingers, paws and tails. My kids are so fast and sometimes pretty quiet that I don't realize they are behind me or under my feet until it's almost too late. My DH also shut DD's finger in the door around Thanksgiving, we thought it was broken and had to take her to the ER (it turned out to be a crush injury and she was fine) and a couple of months later, he almost shut DS's hand in the same door. DH felt terrible about both of this instances...he is not man who cries but taking DD screaming to the ER, he was in tears.
My point is accidents happen to the best of us and to the most well meaning of people. But the bottom line is that they are your children and sometimes you got to go with your Mommy instinct and decide your comfort level on these things (I like Betsy's analogy of pretending like you heard this story on the news and what would your reaction be). Good luck and I hope your little one is better :hug:

 

100% agreement Ms. NancyFuzzi. I have squished A&R's fingers, toes, the dogs' paws (they have no tails) the cats' paws and tails so many times. I felt the worst when I did the same exact thing the daycare teacher did. Alice was playing on the ground next to the chair, I had Royce in my arms to clip his fingernails, I knew where she was one second but not the next when she had her fingers under my chair and I squished them when I sat down. My husband closed the recliner on Royce's foot, and not the squishy part where my husband's feet lay, pinched in the metal bars. Both times the kids were bruised, both times were an accident.

 

Thank you, everyone, for your input and care - my LO is much better! Now if we can address those two molars that are adding to his crankiness...! I have calmed down and my husband and I talked about things. I TOTALLY understand accidents - good grief we have them daily around our house. Who can avoid them with two whirling dervishes and a dog running around?? :bump: :wacko: I think my initial reaction was caused by my previous bias to the caregiver. She is a very nice lady but we haven't really 'connected' with her like ones in the previous rooms. Not that WE have to connect, what's important is our LO's connecting and being cared for but ... you know what I mean? That connection that you know your children are being cared for by someone that will love on them and teach them and protect them when they are away from you. My husband and I are both are disappointed with this room's caregivers, but the twins will be moving on to the next room in a few months and we both really like the next set of caregivers that will be responsible for them.

And at the end of the day, Greer is fine, no broken bones. I'll try to tame the 'mama bear' instinct (LOL!) but not so much that i'm not watching out for what's best for them.

Thanks again, it's always SO good to hear input from other moms!!