Fears of premature delivery

I have done very well thus far with not worrying about the babies and just trusting that they will be ok. All the while, however, the reality of possible premature birth was there. I have not quite reached the age of viability, so there is still some fear about losing them. How have you ladies dealt with the fears that come with twin births? Those of you who have had premature births and NICU babies how did you cope and what was the outcome?

 

For me, I do everything I can not to think about the what if's and what could happen because it is enough to make you go insane. Instead. I set goals for myself and the girls. For example, let's just get to 20 weeks. Let's just make it to 24 weeks Let's get to 3rd trimester. OK let's get to 32 weeks. Now that I'm at 33 weeks and I know that even if they are born now they would survive and have very good chances of having no long term disabilities from the prematurity, it helps the anxiety a little bit. I just do everything I can to make sure they stay in. Drink plenty of fluids, keep my feet up, rest, try not to stress, eat good protein etc. And when all else fails.. I have myself a good cry and feel refreshed afterward

Think of it this way. You are 19 1/2 weeks. You are more than half way there for an average gestational twin pregnancy!

 

I know it's hard, but try not to worry Momma! :hug: It doesn't do you or the babies any good to add undue stress worrying, when you really don't have anything to worry about as of yet.

With that being said, my girls were born at 28 weeks, spent 10 weeks in the NICU, and are now perfectly healthy and happy 2½ year olds. You wouldn't even know they were born 12 weeks early! It was a long road for us, the main way I was able to cope was to take everything one day at a time. It was hard, incredibly hard, but we made it through. Modern medicine is amazing these days, and the outcomes for preemies, even micro-preemies is phenomenal!

GL to you and your babies!! :hug:

 

It is very hard to now worry about your babies being born early. :hug: Just do everything you can to help your pregnancy, that's really all you can do.


My twins were born early. Honestly, I never thought about premature delivery since my oldest DD was born at 41w. I just assumed I'd have these babies around 38 weeks. ardon: My two were born at 25w3d and 26w6d very unexpectedly. Luckily I had the steroid shots a week before my DD was born when I had am emergency cerclage at 24w. They both came home 5 weeks before their due date. They are now 4.5 years old and are perfect. They have no lingering effects of being born so prematurely. It was definitely the hardest time in my life when I had to leave my babies in the NICU everyday. But like Kyrstyn said above, it is amazing what they can do these days for premature babies.


Good luck and try not to worry about it.

 

i kept telling myself that i was doing everything that was in my power to keep the babies in, and anything outside of that was out of my control & i just let it go.

my girls were born at 34w1d & spent 13 days in the NICU. the hardest part was the first 24 hours because Danika was on CPAP & we were really worried about her, but after that, they were just feeding & growing, and as weird as it sounds, it ended up feeling like a positive thing having them in the NICU. we got to spend a lot of time learning from the nurses about how to care for babies. since the girls were our first, that really felt like a disguised blessing.

 

Ditto! I am now just hoping for 32 weeks... As silly as it sounds sometimes crying really does help! I also have to add don't Google anything... ask your Dr. or post on here instead... Google will make you crazy, I know this from experience

 

I could not agree more about avoiding Google. You will drive yourself insane and have yourself convinced that not only is something going to go terribly wrong with the pregnancy but their will be problems with the babies and you have some horrible disease LOL Google is evil!

 

I went into labor for the first time at 29 weeks. After 3 ER runs in 10 days I was put on strict bedrest. I made it to 16 weeks and my kids came home from the hospital here is my advice:
1- if something doesnt feel right or having contractions- go in early-there is a better chance of stopping.fixing the problem. don't feel stupid for going in.
2-follow dr orders strictly. I was supposed to be horizontal for 6 weeks and I did it. I didn't do ANY housework or cheat at all. I made it 6 weeks and babies were born healthy
3-you should be eating 3600 calories a day-it helps those babies grow big and strong
4-you should be drinking 16 cups of water a day- dehydration leads to contractions-drink all the time
5-rest- do as little as possible-I taught 1st grade until 29 weeks and I think that led to my preterm labor
6-relax- added stress is harder on the babies
7-YOU CAN DO IT

Good luck, come back for venting or advice

 

3600 calories a day? That seems impossible. I was at about 1700-2000 and had gained 29 pounds in 18 weeks. I was not eating junk, it was all whole foods and milk and juice, At those calories I was full, I do not think I could double that and if I could I would be double the weight I am now. My OB says 40-45 pounds and at 30 pounds and still half way to go I could be at 60 and that seems unhealthy. I am eating when I am hungry and make sure to have a high protein snack before bed. I am drinking at least 54 oz of water a day and then add to that a glass of milk or juice with my vitamins 2 times a day. I take a nap everyday when I put the 2 year old down... even 30 min helps. We have 6 kids so it is hard to just sit still all day but the older ones do help a lot and now my husband is self employed so he works from hm and that helps a lot. I have my first growth ultrasound tomorrow and a second look at my cervix to make sure it is still long. (at 16 weeks it was 4cm).

 

Honestly I was worried the moment my OB said "We are referring you to a specialist" and that was during my first or second month of being pregnant.

At the first meeting with our peri she gave us a "let's get to 32 weeks and see what happens and we'll move for there but our goal is 36 weeks".

When week 29 came and went my regular OB had a sigh of relief because she didn't think I would make it that far. I had complications with the pregnancy from the start and experienced constant endless contractions and put me on meds for an "irritable uterus". I will admit that once I got to 29 weeks I just said to myself "you know what? it's OK now. If these boys come early it's OK" so I stopped worrying about preemies in general and started demanding that these doctors get the c-section scheduled pronto because I couldn't take the pain any more.

I made it to 35 weeks on the dot but was on bed rest for 2 weeks at the hospital due to pre-eclampsia getting worse, some funneling and so forth. Grand total, in and out of the hospital, I was on bedrest for about 2 months.

The boys weighed 4lbs 15oz and 4lbs 14oz and where 19.5" and 19.75" long. You could see every rib, every bit of bone covered by this very small layer of fat cells. But they both came out screaming like they are supposed to.

They didn't put the boys in NICU because the OB thought they were perfectly healthy but they wanted to monitor them for a few days and gain some more weight so they put them in Pediatric ICU. Alex was there for 7 days and River was there for 10 days. It was just a huge stressor to know that your babies aren't with you when you leave the hospital and in a way sort of spoiled us for those couple of days it was just us and Alex. River probably would have come home at the same time too but they have this things called a "car seat challenge" and your neck must have enough strength to hold the weight of your head to their airwaves are open (or something like that) and his breathing wasn't right and FINALLY by day 10 we had them both home and together.

People will tell you not to worry and just relax, take it easy, try not to focus, divert your attention to a hobbie or short walks or anything you can do to keep your mind off it but it you are anything at all like me you know that you won't be able to get yourself to stop worrying, it's a part of you (that is if you are like me). And if it makes you feel any better I am a queen b when it comes to worrying and freaking out and that's how the majority of my pregnancy was, right until they cut me open.

I would just stay on top with your peri and OB and get weekly growth u/s and all that business to catch a possible problem before it gets serious. Take my pre-eclampsia, they noticed it around week 31-32 and that's when the hospital bed rest came in, that had they pushed to hold on any longer I could have died from the amount of toxins my body had in it.

You'll get through this and even if they do go to PICU or NICU you'll know that they are getting the utmost in care and you can come home from visiting them and sleep to help ease the pain and speed up the healing process of the c-section by laying in bed.

Yes yes, these are EXCELLENT ways to stop contractions or keep them at bay. Just remember if ANYTHING doesn't feel right go to triage to get checked out. I know I was there every week!

Sorry for such a long response.

Good luck Momma! Everything will be OK!

 

I worried my entire pregnancy that I was going to have premature babies and that I wouldn't make it to my sisters wedding at 36 weeks weeks pregnant. I carried the twins to 38w 5d and had a c/section after 21 hours of induction!

When I was 18 months old, I was diagnosed with cancer and my mom stayed strong the entire time!!! She cried the day she got the results, but that was it. She went through my 2 years of treatment with the head space of "if she dies, that is when i'm going to need my tears, so there is no point in crying now". I think that in a round-a-bout way, its the same with a twin pregnancy....until something changes during the pregnancy, that is when you would stress. Until then, stay positive and positive things will continue to happen to you. Don't go and google anything!!!!!

You are under the watchful eye of doctors and they will make sure your babies grow nice and strong and they will be able to deal with anything that might pop up. But until then, continue to know that they are healthy and beautiful!

Drink LOTS of water! Apparently I had a uterus made of steel and i'm positive its because of the crazy amounts of water I would drink. lol

Honestly, enjoy this time!!!!

 

I kept fear at bay by doing whatever was in my power to keep them in. When my cervix shortened, I took proactive measures like pelvic rest, made sure I took my calcium/magnesium supplements (they keep your uterus soft/contractions at bay) started working from home, decreased my hours by 1/2, drank a gallon of water bare minimum a day, ate like a horse (I tried to get to 3,600 calories a day- part was ice cream, though- the fattiest kind I could find!) and finally put myself on modified bed rest. I would allow myself to get up for 1/2 an hour, then lay down for 2. Basically it was peeing, preparing the next meal, peeing, and laying down while eating/napping until the next 1/2 hour of up time.

I also read everything I could get my hands on (including TS!) about twin pregnancy, birth and twinfants.
:youcandoit:

 

Those of you who were able to eat 3600 calories a day how in the world did you do it and how much weight did you gain? I have been eating good calories and avoiding a lot of bad ones (icecream, candy etc) I just thought that the good calories was what the babies needed and since I have put on 29 pounds already that they were getting enough. I started at 5'3 and 119. As far as water goes, I drink a lot but pee a lot.. I try not to drink after 8pm so I can actually get some sleep. Maybe I just need an IV and a urinary catheter... problem solved

 

It was an adjustment. I started by eating 1st, 2nd, 3rd breakfasts. Protein- peanut butter on a really fiberous bread; cereal fortified with iron like Raisin Bran Crunch. I went to 2% milk b/c I could not stomach the idea of whole :bad: and only ate ice cream for dessert with meals. I love cookies/brownies/cake; but used the ice cream to get calories + calcium. I'd eat my cup of ice cream with lukewarm water b/c it was quicker and I got so sick of it. Broccoli, red meat very often (I'm usually a bit anemic but pregnancy worsened it)- basically where others would eat a snack, I'd eat a small to medium meal. I also really, really liked chicken when pregnant. It was all I could do to wait until 9am to eat it leftover from the night before.

As to weight, I started off overweight and gained 80 pounds. A lot of water weight (it was summer!); but through nursing and dropping the water after they were born, I lost it all within 3 months. (Of course, now I need to watch my eating habits b/c I think I stretched my stomach, but I digress...)

I really followed Dr. Luke's "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, and Quads". I wasn't successful every day, but got into a groove for being able to eat 3,000 calories +.

Finally, if I could do it over again, I would have eaten shakes with fruit in them for the good stuff + the ice cream. I did order a lot of chocolate shakes without guilt when pregnant, though.

 

Protein shakes like ensure are good sources of extra calories and it doesn't feel like you're eating so you don't get that full feeling, at least I didn't.

I'm not sure how many calories I took in per day but I know I was gaining weight very quickly and then it slowed a bit and sped back up. Total gain was 60lbs but I can't tell you how much of that was baby or pre-eclampsia.

 

I just found out about a wonderful tool, it's called Hypnobabies(www.hypnobabies.com),they offer the "twins tracks" and I listen to the affirmations everyday now and it helps me relax and have positive thoughts about my pregnancy, I am planning on also using this method to deliver my twins, they also have a good yahoo group! I would really check it out, it's worth it! They also have the "baby stay IN" track that is especially made for preterm labor... And of course, DRINK DRINK DRINK water a LOT!!!

I used to stress and think about all the "what if's" but I'm now a lot more confident and it feels good!

HTH

 

That seems great! I know that there is a book out there that ok eating junk food, I think you're doing fine with eating whole food, milk and juice, sounds great!! Eat often and good stuff and you'll be fine. Ask your OB next time you see him/her and see what he/she says.

I drink Glucerna from time to time (ensure has quite a bit more sugar) and it is a good source of protein.

Good luck with your ultrasound, we are almost at the same point but my US is next monday, I can't wait to see them!!!

 

You know, I had read so many horror stories about NICU and tiny twin babies and premature births that I was convinced my babies would come early. I had my baby showers super early because I'd read about everyone going on bed rest between 25 and 30 weeks and I kept thinking they would come while Ben was doing his youth theater camp and I'd have to go in without him...

His camp has been over for 2 weeks, I am 38 weeks 2 days, and I am scheduled for c-section on Wednesday. And you know, because I convinced myself they were going to come super early, I feel like I have caused it to feel like more of a waiting game than it had to be!

And as I've gotten this far, I've found more and more twin mommies in the area who made it about the same distance in their pregnancy. Just assume they'll come around 38 weeks, because it's term, and we always assume our singles will come at 40 because that's term for singletons, right? Why not do the same with the twinsies?! Just remember, even if they come at 37 it's not much different than if your singleton comes at 39! And chances are, if you follow doctor's orders and listen to your body, you'll probably do better than you think!

 

At 18 weeks I had gained 29 pounds (all baby and boobs ) and my Dr. said that was a little too much. Although he was not overly concerned he said to cut out juice and go to skim milk and to eat high protein low carb snacks. I did all that and in the last 2 1/2 weeks gained 1 pound. He is still ok with that especially after seeing both twins weigh 12 oz at 19 1/2 weeks. I feel like I get full all the time even with small meals because my boy is sitting so high and my stomach feels like it is in my lungs. I want to do whatever it takes to grow these babies big and term. My DR also said yesterday that with my history of small babies (6#9oz was biggest 5#6oz smallest) that he expects the babies to only weigh like 4# and not get to 5#. I would LOVE to prove him wrong. I just don't know if I can get 3600 calories in without throwing it all up. My Dr. wants 40-45 pounds total and I am at 30 half way there.

 

I wouldn't take the 3600 calories at face value. Eat what your body tells you to eat. Overgaining can actually be just as much of a problem as undergaining. I was always trying to eat more and only ended up gaining 35lbs total. Drinking ensure was the easiest way to get in extra calories, but I still wasn't anymore near 3000-3500 calories per day. I was lucky if I hit 2500.

I also wanted to tell you that I was terrified of PTL as well and I did actually have my babies early! I think the most important thing is to do everything you can do to make sure your pregnancy is successful and don't hesitate to go in if you think anything at all is wrong. That's the only regret I have is not going in when I thought I should have. I was trying so hard not to be a hypochondriac that I erred on the side of danger when I should have erred on the side of caution.

Try to relax, you're doing great!

 

Yes, eat what your body tells you to eat, don't go by a book. I lost weight until about 24 weeks, then started gaining, and only gained 30 pounds total. My two were born small at 34weeks +5days but they did no time in the NICU and went home with us from the hospital. If your body doesn't want you to eat 3600 calories, just eat what you can when you can. And sometimes it's better to eat healthy foods with less calories than to eat higher calorie junk foods.

 

Thanks for all the encouragement!! After seeing the babies yesterday and how big they are and that my cervix is still long it has reassured me a little and given me the confidence that I can take these babies to a safe delivery date!!

 

I decided not to embrace the fears (although of course every once in a while it would get the better of me, and I also was very aware of the real dangers) and I instead decided to really empower myself throughout my pregnancy. I began with the Dr. Barbara Luke book. Some people find this book difficult to swallow and see it as a bit of fear mongering. I took it as a fair warning of the dangers that can come along with a twin or more pregnancy, and I took the advice to heart (and with several grains of salt). I followed the dietary and weight gain guidelines as much as I could. I did take in way more calories daily than I thought would ever be possible for me, but it made a huge difference in the second trimester. I gained most of my weight during the second trimester, and then really evened out for the third trimester when I just couldn't stomach as much due to the babies takng up so much room and my heart burn. I gained 60 lbs overall and gave birth to almost 16 lbs of pure babies!

When I did have concerns I took them to my OB seriously, but I didn't get freaked out or worked up. I knew that I was being seen often enough to screen for major issues, and I always had a list of questions and concerns to address with my doctor. I also saw a perinatologist alternately which helped as well to have someone advocating for me who specialized in pregnancies like this.

In the end any fears that I had along the way were just that, fears and not reality.

I remember at some points focusing only on how many stories I saw of those who'd given birth early or had long NICU stays. And now I realize just how many twin pregnancies are just like mine with no major issues, going to term and giving birth uneventfully to two babies with great birth weights and no medical issues. It happens more than we realize!

Focus on the positive

 

The minute I heard twins I started crying for all the new risks. It was hormones, yes, but also fear. I ended up going back to my therapist to work out all my fears of preterm and NICU. I cried a lot. And realized I had to let it go or I would just stress out the babies.

Tour the hospital, see the nicu if possible.

And bReathe. Its so hard I know but you stressing isn't good.

In the end we switched hospitals to the level 4 nicu and were ready for what came. Then the boys came at 37 weeks! Still don't know how we got through that last month, but despite my fears, I was able to go home with my little boys!

 

Hi Momof6,

Something that helped me a lot with the preterm labor concerns was to give myself permission to be uncertain, do whatever is in my power to improve a situation if I could, and not apologize for it. Women do things 'right' all the time and *stuff* still happens (just like in other areas of life). No mother to-be would choose to experience heartache.

Last week at 25w3d I made my first [and only until babes are ready??] trip to labor and delivery. My back and hip had started hurting so much early in the morning and it was causing uterine tightening when I changed positions. I have never been this pregnant and had no idea if this was OK. I thanked them for their time after the tightening was determined to be Braxton-Hicks and uterine irritability...but I did not apologize for making the trip.

If there is something I can do to take the fear away, I will do it...if not then I have to let it go.

BUT, sometimes at night when the babes are moving like crazy and I can feel their little bodies, I will just burst in tears and cry like a baby. Cry and cry because I love them so much already! Then I feel much better. :give_rose:

You are doing so great Mamma-Mamma!! Take a pat on the back for the day.