3 years 7 months and still not potty trained!

I don't know what is going on! One son got it in Feb. and other than the occasional accident he's fine. Stephen didn't seem ready in Feb. so he started in April, 4 months now we've been working on it...Preschool starts in 6 weeks and he pees himself all the time. Usually it's better, still not great, when there's a reward. I just brought them back because I feel like we have to be trained for school. I ask him if he needs to go (always no), sometimes I make him try anyway, I've even stepped back and done nothing just so he could have control over the situation (just like he'll have to in preschool), I've tried to be positive but I am at my wits end with this. Most of the time he doesn't even tell me when he's wet. I would say he tells me and tries 10% of the time on his own and 90% he's just sitting in it. He does seem to enjoy trying to get negative attention the last few weeks, so I'd say that's what's going on, but we've been trying for months and never have had it down.

What do I do?? Is this still normal at this age? Our neighbor is not even 3 yet and is apparently trained, others had it at 2 1/2! People keep saying it's going to click, but when?? I am embarassed and feel like a failure! I need a creative idea here!

 

Is he in pull ups or underwear?

 

Hang in there. I have one that was PT at 2.5 YO and I thought the other was right behind. But he regressed. Got obstinate about it. So, I talked to the Ped about it. She said, put him in diapers for 2 months and try again. I did and it became a work in progress. I realized I was getting so upset and he was really thriving off that. So, I quit paying attention to him when he pooped in his pants or on the floor. It was hard to do. But, finally at just over 3.5 YO he is trained.

 

He is in underwear.

 

I don't know why my twins were PTed so easily. My only guess was because I put on potty video every morning but they love it. I did not teach them to sit on potty chair, do pull up, and etc. I just tell them Mommy is going potty. My daughter stand and talk to me while I go and often time they were both curious. I show them my #1 and #2 that where it belongs. And then the other thing I babysit another set of twins' boys who are 4 months older and already PTed. So, with them, video, and myself they both 'get it' on their own.

Rianna PTed 3 days before her 3rd birthday out of blue she just went on her own. I didn't push it; I did the potty dance with her, (no stickers, no rewards, no pull up, or no training pants) was needed with her. She was telling her brother, Justin.....Go potty right now! Come over here! Justin did not PTed until he was 3 yrs and 5 mos and he utlimately went on his own too. It took a few more days of accidents until he figured it out. The one thing I did with him was took away ALL of the diapers and went cold turkey with wearing underwears. Yes, he did had accident but it was nothing major that went on the carpet/floor. It was just a tingle in his underwear while he did pee the bed a couple of times and then he 'click'. The first 3 days he cried every morning want to wear his diapers. I told Justin, honey you're a big boy now. It is time go to your new potty chair. And the toughest part was I had to stay home nearly 2 week for both times because I was nervous going to public places when they were still PTing at the time. I had no accidents with them when we leave the house. It is because we have a habit that they must go potty before we leave the house.

We have 2 potty chairs at the time it was 2 in the same bathroom when they started it out--and then at bed time each potty chair was in their own bedroom with a night light next to it in case if they have to go in the middle of the night. Although we cut off their drinks at 6:45 PM, and make them go before bed time. And then now I leave 1 potty chair in the van for parks/emergency while the other one is in my son's room.


I hope my experienced will be helpful?!

 

A kid who doesn't mind sitting in it needs an external motivator and you just haven't found his yet. And yes, some kids are super easy to train and others not so much. Don't beat yourself up over it! Just keep trying different things and keep it as low-stress as you can manage until something clicks. He'll get it eventually.

Have you tried a sticker chart with a big boy prize that he can work toward? I found foil star stickers at Dollar General and my boys love picking a color and putting it on their chart. Then, we count how many stars they have. 30 stars = the toy they chose at the store. I let them hang their chart in their room so they can see it whenever they like and count those stars.

 

:hug: I agree that some kids are definitely more motivated to potty train than others. For the more difficult ones, I think you just have to figure out what motivation works for them (not that that's easy!). Also, a chat with the pedi the next time you are in wouldn't hurt if you haven't done it already. It's always nice to get their opinion & rule out any medical issues.

 

Oh, he can do it when there's a reward, be it a little one each time he goes or big ones to work towards. My issue is we've been doing that for months now. How long do you keep that up? As soon as there is no reward, he's back to peeing in his pants all day long.

 

Since he responds well to the reward, what about a reward for staying dry for X amount of time? And eventually extend the time that you expect him to stay dry to get the reward.

ETA: we used rewards for a long time here too. I had bought a couple of giant bags of jelly beans. As it was getting lower, I started warning the girls that the treats were getting low and if I ran out, I'd have to get more at the store. But I may not be able to find them. When we finally ran out, I was able to tell them initially, that I hadn't gotten a chance to go to the store for them, and then that I hadn't seen any there when I did go (not that I looked particularly hard, kwim? )

 

My DS would just pee in his underwear, didn't bother him. Naked training (from the waist down) is what worked for him. He never once peed or pooped on the floor when he was naked. :good: And I have heard many people say naked training worked best for their boys.

 

what helped with my DS was making him clean up his own puddles...if he peed on the floor I handed him a paper towel and made him sop it up (I followed with rug cleaner) but it only took him 2 days of sopping up his own pee before he started putting it in the potty where it belonged...

 

Yep, ditto this. Increase expectations gradually and plan for it to be a long-term project. When my kids no longer needed their star reward (we used it for wiping themselves), I told them they were getting too big now to get stars for wiping but they could earn a star by doing [insert new task you'd like them to conquer]. This was a very good currency for them so I just re-purposed the star supply. We also leverage doing things like a big boy to be treated like a big boy. We really lay it on when they get to do new things because they're getting to be such big boys and how babies can't do this or that.

ETA: I think it's important that he not think he's losing the reward for using the toilet but rather he's conquered that potty and yay for being a big boy... and now he gets to do something even bigger and better. KWIM?

 

Thanks girls! I appreciate the advice! Will try naked training and a reward chart again.