Gave up on toddler beds

I don't think it was going awful. But it's been two and a half weeks and things are worse than when we first started. Part of the problem is them sharing a room. My daughter for the most part will listen and stay in bed. But my son will get up 30 times and ends up egging her on eventually. I've tried to stand my ground and put him back in every time he gets out, but today I lost it and gave up. They are now back in cribs. Now I feel guilty that I should have given it more time. Because there were some easy day/nights. But then there were those spans of time that every nap and bedtime was wearing on me, we were having late bed times, early risers and no naps and my son turned into the devil child.

I also tried sitting in their room until they fell asleep, which would work fine with my daughter. I also think it helped comfort her, because she was nervous about being in her bed. But it made my son more wild, and he would not calm down to sleep. He would stay in bed, but not sleep.

The real reason we attempted toddler beds now is our vacation next week, they'll be sleeping in beds. I know now they can do it, but it will suck. I guess the bright side is we got rid of binkies at the same time, and those are officially gone.

We were only going to put my son back in his crib, but my daughter was crying she wanted her crib back too. I know she was never happy about being in her bed. Am I right to give in to her, or am I delaying the inevitible and we'll go through this all over again when we try again?

What would you have done? Anyone give in and go back? Or were we nearing the light at the end of the tunnel and we gave in too soon? How do you know when they're really ready? They never tried climbing out. I'm not sure how long to wait before we try again. And when I do, I don't know if I should separate them, or if they'll be older and more mature and do ok in the same room.

Right now they're bouncing off the walls in their cribs (not napping, I guess that's out of the question today). And they're whining now, probably because they purposely threw their bears out on the ground and now can't get them. Oh well, maybe they'll learn a lesson that they shouldn't have given up their freedom so easily!

Sorry this post is all over the place. I'm just so upset about this. I really thought we were close to making it through. Tell me I did the right thing. Or if it's the wrong thing, how do I fix it??

 

I put both of mine on the crib mattress on the floor because one was suddenly afraid of her crib. After a couple of nights, the DD who was not having problems with her crib asked to sleep in her crib again. So, I've got one in a crib and one on the floor. I wasn't really wanting to move them out of cribs yet, so it wasn't a big deal to me to put her back.

 

They're only 2 - it's totally ok for them to be in cribs! Really, there's no hurry. It's only an issue if they try to climb out, since they can fall and get hurt. And even then, you can always get a crib tent instead.

My DD is still in a crib, doesn't try to climb out, and shows no interest in switching to a bed. I turned DS's crib into a bed a few months ago after he fell and bumped his head. That didn't turn out so great, so we went ahead and bought the full mattress we were planning to buy him eventually anyway, and he's sleeping very well on that.

 

At least you tried! I'm not planning on trying until they're 3 if I can help it!

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with going back...my DD still would be in a crib but she started climbing out at 19 months and it was all over by then. My DS, at 2.5, is happy as a calm in his crib. I have no plans to change anything right now with him. He's not climbing out and like Holly's daughter, isn't interested in a bed. Doesn't even care that she's in a bed and he's not.

 

My two are 2.5 and I haven't even given toddler beds ANY thought. I don't want to go anywhere near them yet! :laughing: You are definitely not a failure, in fact, I'd say you followed your kids' leads really well and put them back in their cribs because that is obviously where they needed and wanted to still be. Now they are getting better sleep and you aren't dealing with the behaviors associated with the toddler beds! That's a GOOD thing!

We moved our oldest DS to his full size bed when he was 3.5 years old and it was a super easy transition. As in: Me: "Lennon, we're going to convert your bed to a big boy bed today! Tonight you'll get to sleep in it! Isn't that exciting?" Lennon: "Yeah, that will be fun." End of story. So, based on that wonderful, stress-free experience...I'm waiting as long as possible to move the little guys out of their cribs.

Why fight a battle that can be super smooth when everyone is ready, you know? There are enough battles and stress that can't be avoided, I'm all for avoiding that ones that are avoidable!

:hug: You did the right thing! :hug:

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with putting them back in cribs. In fact, I would tell you to stay with cribs as long as you possibly can. I wish I could have waited until they got closer to 3. BUT...DS had other ideas and started climbing out at 2y4mo. We fought and fought him to stay in bed. We are just now getting back to some bedtime normalcy. I think the closer they get to 3, the communication and understanding it far greater than at 2. At least in my mind, I think it would have been easier if we could have waited longer.

 

You tried and saw it didn't work and went back to what did work...it doesn't mean you're a failure. You have plenty of time to try again. My girls were two weeks shy of their 3rd birthday before we even bought their toddler beds. Many of us waited until closer to 3 and had excellent results. I can't imagine how my two would have done if we had put them in toddlers at two..I honestly think they would have went nuts. I agree with Laura, I think that the closer they are to three the easier it is to communicate to them the expectations.

 

My nephew didn't get his big boy bed until he was 3-years old and slept in his crib til then. Everyone I have talked to except our ped said to wait as long as possible especially with two in one room. I figure there is going to be no rush to toddler beds until they start trying to crawl out of their cribs.

 

At 2y2mo I was refusing to even think about moving them out of cribs. They started climbing out 4 months later and we were forced to move them. I think there was a lot of difference in those few months. So if they aren't climbing I'd keep them in the cribs as long as you can. I also think that taking the pacifier away at the same time may have a negative impact on the adjustment. Now you can ride that out while they are back in their cribs and then try again in a few months.

Some of the things that I think helped with our transition is that we did NOT make a big deal out of it. We keep the room very dark. We also kept a door knob cover on the door for a bit, but that's off now and DS just wanders all sleepy into our room in the morning. It's kind of cute, but also annoying. I liked it better when he was confined and would go back to sleep sometimes. :laughing:

 

You are not a failure and you are not alone!!! However you made it a week past me! We did it for 7 very loooooong days and by the time we went back to cribs I was sooo exhausted and so were they. They have been back in cribs (with tents) for 8 months and I couldn't be happier!
We just got home today from a 6 day vacation where they slept in a bed and oh my goodness, it totally reminded me why I still have them in cribs LOL. But they'll do great!

 

Mine haven't attempted to climb out yet so they are still in the cribs. You are not a failure at all for putting them back!

 

I should have jumped ship too... we started 2 months before vacation... it was terrible for me, just like you said, putting them back in, me trying not to yell, but they were so defiant etc. my nanny has GREAT luck! anyway, vacation came and I thought we might not have cribs, but lo and behold we did thankfully. we're now home, and some nights are good for the toddler beds others not so good. I actually brought the pnp into the room as an object lesson and put my dd in it sometimes when she's getting out. she'll then cry "nite nite" and point to her bed... so i'll put her back, but she'll just climb back out... I might have to get my dh to start putting them to bed b/c he has better luck than me too. I threatened to put the cribs back together, and still might... but might can crawl out... so I'd have to put the tents back up. I really like the toddler beds better... so I'm still going to tough it out a little longer.

but no you aren't a failure. you have to do what you have to do to cope. good luck!

 

My twin dd was in her crib til almost 3.5! It was not a battle worth fighting. And like a pp said, their communication skills are much better at 3 than at 2 which helps. Enjoy your sleep!

 

For what it is worth, for my 2 cents, you made the right decision for your situation. We didn't move our kids out of cribs to beds until nearly 3.5 years of age. There is a WORLD of difference between 2 year olds and 3 year olds. At 3.5, they could understand the "big bed ruls" and felt "grown up" to be in them. And, I have a friend that didn't move her trips until after age 4 -- and a book that recommends that approach, too (so a kid "earns" a big kid bed. So there!

You will make it through vacation... and then you will be happy to be back home with the cribs up so that you can recover for the vaca!

All best wishes,

Meg

 

My guys are 3 years old and I just bought their big boy beds. It will be a while before I can set them up but I am absolutely keeping their cribs together until I'm sure they can and will follow the rules. I will absolutely put them back in their cribs if they don't. I don't have the energy for some of the stories I've heard.

Mean mommy that I am.

 

I had a meltdown today... and texted my dh that we HAVE to put the cribs back up... he has fairly good luck w/them when he puts them to bed, but he also travels a fair bit... and I just can't deal with that.

I like the idea of the rules and waiting until they will understand them better. they totally don't obey the rules now. I do think they understand... but not totally I guess!

anyway, I will be joining the crib momma's again tomorrow! hopefully we can try it again in a month or more... we'll see.

for me, I'm hoping that they will stay in the cribs, and feel secure, not fuss and stay sleeping. when we switched to toddler beds their nice predictable 3 hr afternoon nap went by the wayside!

 

I agree with everyone else--go ahead and put them back. You don't want to end up like our family. It's been months since my boys started escaping their cribs and, in one case, breaking through the bottom of two cribs. Anyways, I still have trouble getting them to bed (I'm talking an hour or longer for naps and bed time.). If I thought the crib tents would work, I would have put them right back in the cribs.

Save your sanity.

 

Mine are over 2.5 yrs old and still in cribs. In two months we are going on vacation and they will be in a pnp. After that we are moving and their cribs are not coming in the move. I'm worried they won't be ready then for a toddler bed. A bed is a bed. They have a place to rest their head. that is all that counts. Heck when they are 30 will you even remember what age they moved into a toddler bed ? No, none of this will matter in the long run. But a good night sleep for you and them... that will add YEARS to you.

Heather

 

Denise... we put back the cribs yesterday, such BLISS! they fell asleep in less than 15 minutes. AND best they slept until 6:40a and then chattered and talked until after 7a. They'd been waking consistantly closer to 5a...

anyway, I can see I'm going to be a much calmer momma... and then when its not such a struggle I'll try again. For my sanity and the family's sanity its going to be cribs for a while longer! good luck!!!

 

Yay for you guys! :clapping: Enjoy having your sleep and sanity back! :woohoo:

 

I have to say that with all your amazing support, I'm almost embarrassed to admit we went back to toddler beds! After I posted this, I had a talk with my husband (as our kids were bouncing off the walls, screaming and crying in their cribs - well, really just my son). And we decided to not go back. We'd give up on the nap (obviously) and put the beds back together before bedtime when they weren't around, as if nothing had happend. We also decided we would work on getting the two spare bedrooms ready (cleaned out, painted and decorated special for them), to separate them. Then I went up to get them and had a talk with them. I told them we weren't taking a nap today, and that when it was time to go to bed that night they would be in big kid beds again - because cribs are for babies, right? they agreed (who knows if they got it, or even cared!). Then I took them over to the two empty bedrooms and showed each of them their new room and told them we'd be getting it ready for them soon. They seemed excited, and still go over there now and tell each other whose room is whose. Surprisingly, ever since that day they have gone to bed without getting out of bed at night at all. But my son has still been getting up a little earlier in the morning, and their nap schedule is a little off because we've been so busy this past week (they still took them ok, but sometimes at different times from each other, and not really on a schedule). My son is still a crabby nightmare at times. I'm pretty sure he still hasn't caught up on his sleep. I hope that's all it is, and it's not his new "terrible - 2's" attitude. I won't be able to take it! Anyway, your posts did really make me feel better, and if I do decide to change my mind on a whim again - I now feel like it's ok. I wonder if there will ever be a time that raising twins will be easy!

 

WOW!! good for you Denise! I do think that they understand more than we realize. Seems in theory a lot for them to comprehend that one day they will get the new rooms... but hey, I'm happy its working for you! Sometimes I wish I'd been able to keep toddler beds, maybe I'll try in a month... I will say that this last month for ours has been a huge learning month for them, and maybe in another bit they will be mature enough. I'm glad to have an inspirational story to think about when I ponder the bed situation!