soothing back to nap

one of my LOs tends to wake atleast 1x during his 1 nap a day. he needs me to help him fall back asleep; i rub his back and his head. he's calm and quiet.
if i leave, he screams and screams and screams. he tends to wake his brother as well. he's still tired bc my husband has often picked him up and rocked him back to sleep.
i dont do that (LOL) i do the head rub. he's calm when i walk out but within a few seconds, he screams.

any advice?
its only 1 nap a day so i want to make sure he's sleeping to his full potential if that makes sense?

 

Personally, I think it's time for him to learn how to put himself back to sleep. At this age, he's probably going through a little separation anxiety and he is manipulating you into staying in the room. I can imagine rubbing the back of an infant to get them to fall asleep, but I would think it would be distracting for a toddler! Plus, if he doesn't learn how to fall asleep on his own, what's going to happen when he has naptime at preschool?!? His teacher surely isn't going to rub his head .

Since the other twin is sleeping fine, you may have to separate them for the short term. When my bad sleeper was waking my good sleeper I had one sleep in a pack n play for naps until things got under control (took about a week for us).

 

you could also try the pat head till quiet, leave, repeat as needed approach. basically, you just want to soothe him enough to meet his need (ie is quiet) but leave before he falls back asleep. some toddlers will need you to repeat ad nauseum for a while but eventually they will be able to fall back asleep on their own. it's a labor intensive approach but it will work if you prefer to not let him cry. GL!

 

so do you think i should just give him a few head rubs until he's calm and then leave him to fuss?

 

do whatever works until he's calm, then start to leave the room. if he starts fussing before you get to the door, go back & soothe again, just until calm. then start to leave the room. repeat. a lot. GL!

 

Does he have a lovey, stuffed animal, blanket, etc he has shown attachment to? That could help with him learning to soothe back to sleep. Mine will calm down immediately if I hand them their loveys and turn on their music (mobiles with the mobile part removed). I think sleep training is individual to the child more than the parent...you have to figure out what works for each child. For instance, my DD doesn't like to be touched when she is tired. DS will get a second, third, fourth wind no matter how tired he is if he sees you after he has laid down. I had to tailor my sleep training to their personalities. The important thing is to pick something and be consistent.

 

very good points!

 

he sleeps with a lovey.
he just lays there and cries.

 

he cries with the lovey? or with patting & shushing?

 

he holds the lovey and is calm once i pat his back and shush him back to sleep.
once i STOP and leave the room, he continues to cry.

 

well, at that point, you have three options - you can leave him to cry, you can go back & re-soothe him as often as needed, or you can get him up & try again next time.