Three a.m. And I may go crazy

My girls are night wakers. At least once a week one or both of them will wake crying. I go in and check on them and they are not wet, dirty, feverish, too cold, too hot, and they shouldn't be hungry. Since they share a room I will try and get the one crying out of the room and rock her so she doesnt wake her sister up. I have recently stopped doing that and after checking on them just let them cry. Couple of questions......1. Any ideas why they would do this at least once a week every week? 2. How long should you let a 15 month old cry it out? 3. Are there any other suggestions so that I don't have to listen to the screaming crying that they eventually get to for the hour or more they let loose?

 

After an hour and a half of literally screaming crying I went back in there to get her and rock her. Leaving the room made her sister (who was already awake) start crying too. I rocked her and walked her and she just kept crying. I gave up and put "classical baby" DVD on so that they will be quiet and hopefully the music will put them back to sleep. I hate doing that because I know I am not "supposed" to turn the tv on, but after that long I was gonna go crazy. Help please!!!!

 

:hug: to you! Is one or both girls working on new milestones? Cutting teeth? (though I would think that they would be waking more then once a week, if it were that).
Do you have a white noise machine/fan/music playing for them at night? Are there loveys that they sleep with? How do they sleep on the days that they wake up like this?
I am wondering if that day, maybe their naps are off-not enough nap?
I would try adding loveys to their bed if you already don't have them there and keeping some noise going at night, if you don't already.
As for how long to let them CIO, personally, I would go in there at first to make sure everything is okay (no poos/fevers/etc/), retuck them in and make sure they have their loveys and then leave...I think my limit would be 60-90 minutes...but it really depends on your situation, especially if you have to get up for work the next day.
I hope they get through this very soon for you Momma!

 

Most nights it starts as just one of them but within enough time the other one will wake up.....she may or may not start crying. I have tried paying attention to the nap thing and their naps are fairly inconsistent anyway, so it is hard to say. But yesterday between two naps they napped two and a half hours which is close to normal. As far as I can tell they are not teething, but I agree with you if it were teething wouldn't they wake more than once a week. Also, they have been doing this for two or three months now....another reason I don't think it is a milestone thing. They both have their loveys. All Sanders uses is a blanket and Callahan has a monkey and her blanket, and neither of these things seem to matter when they wake like this. I have done the sound machine but I took it out because they seemed to wake more with it. Maybe I need to try using it again and just see if a change makes a difference. As far as cio....thanks for letting me know that I am not heartless for letting them go for an hour or more. I do not have to work, but my husband wakes up around 4:45 every morning due to his hour commute every day. Luckily for him, on most nights he never hears them unless they both start going at the same time. I would be willing to bet that since they turned 11 months there have only been a handful of weeks that they have not woken in the middle of the night. I was saying to my husband this morning this would not be so bad if they woke everynight and were back asleep within 30 minutes, but this is every week and sooooo random. It also kills me because I am pregnant and they may be up for two hours which means I am up for two and a half. I am just at a loss.

 

My girls don't wake up during the night for the most part. When they do, I go get the crying one and bring her back to my bed (and then check diapers, etc). If both are woken up crying, then I change diapers then bring them to bed. Majority of the time when my girls wake up it is because of poo or because of teething, starting not to feel good. So they just want to be touching me.

 

putting them in bed with is not an option. they have never slept in our bed, and when we have tried it they think it is playtime. I wish it were that easy. For my two is not dirty diapers, as far as I can tell they are not teething (plus they have been doing this since ten or eleven months), and they aren't sick. When they are sick or getting sick they wake up everynight.

 

How good is your girls' receptive language? I think that most 15-month-olds are old enough to understand what you say (of course it depends on the child). Have you tried telling them that it's night-time, that Mama and Dada needs sleep and it's time to lay down in your crib and go back to sleep, etc? I had to start doing this with my boys at about 13 months when I put them to bed at night, and it really helped me. On the rare occasions when they night-wake (like the past 2 nights :wacko: ), I rock them for just a few minutes, and tell them that we all need to go back to sleep, and they need to go back into their cribs. 99% of the time they will go back down with at most a whimper, and go back to sleep.

It took us a while to figure this out, and many repetitions of our "pep" talk, but it made a huge difference. It can't hurt to try! :good:

 

Somehow I posted this on your other topic - sorry!

Mine are older than yours, but my great night-sleepers have been waking up on random nights and when I took them to the pediatrician, he saw that they each have two 2-year-old molars coming in. Those can take a very long time to come in, and they grow at night, and some nights more than others. Maybe yours are getting their first molars? Could you try giving Motrin before bedtime and see if it helps? Have the pediatrician look and see if they have any molars coming in?

The only other time mine have woken at night is for ear infections. Mine never run a fever with those or pull at their ears, so the only clue I get at all is the night-waking.

If it were me, I'd have the doctor rule out teething and ear infections and then just do what you have to do on the nights they wake up. I've started putting them in bed with us because I can't do CIO as I have another baby, and three crying babies isn't an option. Mine think it's playtime too, but are getting more of the hang of laying down quietly the more we do it. I'm giving Motrin three times a day for the molars and my doctor said I could do that for up to month without a problem. Since I've started that, mine have STTN, but have woken up earlier than normal, and I just get up with them and start our day earlier.

I hope you get some sleep!

 

They have their 15 month checkup on Tuesday so I will definitely check on the molar idea. It can't be ear infections cause they have been doing this for about four or five months. The molar thing sounds like a possibility. I am wondering if it is possibly nightmares.....and if it is can I do anything about it?

Their receptive language is fairly decent. They have absolutely no problem going to bed at night. Every night they go down wide awake, with blankets, and a night light and never make a sound. I am pretty sure that with these two trying to explain that it is bedtime would not help. The only thing that seems to put them back to sleep is "classical baby" DVD but I really try not to use that unless it has been an hour and a half or longer.

 

My DS has night terrors and will cry out every so often but usually cries 30 min or less. It is a possibility though, and maybe they cry longer because they wake each other up. Another thought is separation anxiety. Do they calm down when you go in there and check on them? I have learned not to visibly check on mine because if they see me they cry harder when I leave. I listen to the cry and can usually tell if it is hurt, mad, scared, etc. Mine have music players attached to their cribs as well as stuffed animals,etc and often go from crying to playing then back to sleep again. I wish I had an easy solution. Good luck!

 

Seperation anxiety is something awful in this house. We tried using their sound machine again last night for the first time in about two months, and they wouldn't go to sleep. They cried and cried (which they never do when we put them down) until I turned the machine off. Once it was off they layed down and slep all night. Woke up early, but they slept all night.

 

Here we go again. Sanders started it at one. I rocked her and she went back down readily, but never went back to sleep. Then an hour later Callahan started crying. We went in to check on her and that made both of them start crying. We gave them motrin and orajel and left the room. They are both still awake and screaming. Does anyone know of a witch doctor or exorcist that we could talk to? We are desperate.

 

Went to the pediatrician today and she said the night waking is something that some toddlers just do as part of their development. She also said with as random as they happen and how long they stay up screaming it hasnothign to do with teeth, hunger, sickness, etc. She said there has to be something that is waking them up like a sound or possibly a nightmare. She did say it was a lil early for nightmares, but not totally out of the question. As crazy as this sounds, I feel better knowing that there is nothing I can do to fix it and there is nothing that I am doing or not doing that is causing this. As for how long they scream she said we need to find something that soothes them and just do that. She suggested we go in there and check on them to make sure it is not something else, then leave the room for 20-30 minutes, if they are still screaming then go back in and put on the DVD that calms them down and puts them to sleep. I was worried about that starting a habbit and she said that is why I should let them cry for a lil while. That way they probably will not equate waking up with the video. Hopefully this phase will not last much longer.....she gave no indication when it may stop. I just need it to be over when the new baby is born in early November.

 

I don't want to disagree with your pedi, but I tend to agree with PP - if you must check on them make sure they don't see you! It sounds to me as if they have developed a habit of waking and if they don't feel like putting themselves back to sleep (or don't know how) they call out to you because they know you will rock them and give them attention. Very, very occasionally I will have one of mine yell out and I don't do anything - I lay there and listen and usually in less than 5 minutes they are back to sleep or back quietly trying to get back to sleep. The times at naptime or bedtime that I made the mistake of going in it just riled them up and there was no going quickly back to sleep. I may have conditioned mine, though, because I am also evil and don't get them out of their cribs in the morning until 7:00 even if they wake at 6:00, I don't do any rocking and never have, and they are on a strict schedule still with naps in the daytime - even if they choose not to sleep they are still in their cribs. It sounds harsh, but I have found that going in and checking and trying to do something to help them get back to sleep just exacerbates the problem and doesn't teach them the most critical thing which is to learn how to get themselves to sleep.

 

K&Ts Mom,

I am so strict on naptime. I never go in and check on them unless the scream lets me know that something is wrong. I also never get them up before 6:45 no matter what time they wake up. I am just more of a softy at night, but I think that is out of what I hope will be some sleep preservation for me, DH, and them. I am not sure which way I want to go. I feel like I need to trust the ped, but I also think all of you other twin moms make a really good point. I may try both ways and see what works best. Thanks